What Would Be Better?
1050 Words
Prologue - Callum
When someone thinks of waking up in a burning house, the first thing they would imagine is that there are screams everywhere as people try to escape from there.
However, sometimes the reality can be quite different from the movies, and the only thing anyone can hear along with the silence is the noise of the burning wood while feeling the difficulty to breathe as if even their lungs have been burned along with everything else.
... And as much as the body is too tired and doesn't want to get up, the instincts act stronger, making it move before anything makes sense while trying to survive...
Being that the sad reality of life.
... Remembering that fateful day which ended in a tragedy, those were the few words I could use to describe what happened.
My memories of the night itself were confusing, murky, difficult to define what was real or fantasy on the worst day I have ever lived.
I couldn't tell if it was due to all the smoke I inhaled, the long time I spent in a coma, or simply due to the trauma that now resided in my heart, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it.
... It was painful just thinking about them, remembering their smiles, the plans we made for the holidays that would come soon... Plans that were never removed from that simple paper that was on the refrigerator door...
Of course, I also wanted to be grateful to have survived when I looked at William, my second son, who was now a man, completely different from the young boy who kept complaining about not wanting to join our little fish trip all the way to the lake in the last morning that I spent with my family.
That wasn't his favorite activity. However, my youngest boy was always able to distract him when we got on the boat, stealing all of his attention from us, leaving me alone with Josh, the oldest of my children, who loved the calmness of the lake more than fishing.
Each of them had a different personality, which was strangely almost like a mix of mine and my wife together, and I could spend the whole day talking about it while I remembered those peaceful days.
... And talking about them, it was impossible to don't record the woman who gifted my life with my boys when she accepted my proposal when she was yet young...
She was adorable, the beautiful cheerleader that all the guys wanted to date, but that in the end chose me as her boyfriend, fiancé, and husband. The beautiful woman who stayed with me until the end and that I wasn't able to save...
... I wasn't able to save any of them...
I was a useless man. I let the house burn down with every single one of them inside, taking the lives of almost every member of my family if it wasn't for Ray.
If it weren't for him, my best friend, I wouldn't be there too, but sometimes I wondered if he had made the right decision when he saved me instead of them on that night...
"D... Da... Dad? Dad?" From the corner of the room, I heard William calling me, his voice clearly concerned by my lack of reaction, yet at the same time, I couldn't find the strength in me to tell him otherwise, to tell him that I was fine while he and his friend Serena exchanged looks.
... And sadly, it reminded me once more of everything that I had lost...
I couldn't understand why I had waked up after so long, after years of leaving my son alone while I was between life and death.
My recovery was so slow and tiring that it felt like my own body was no longer mine, feeling so many strange emotions, especially when Ray visited me while nothing made any sense to me as I didn't know half of the truth yet.
I just wanted my peaceful life back. I just wanted to go back to the past that I remembered about, the past before that night where I lived happily with my family.
... But as much as I wanted it, that would never be possible...
Helping me to get a glass of water, the young woman who had the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen briefly showed me a small smile before my friend appeared there with a serious expression on his face when he asked the two to leave us alone.
"... Liam told me that you wanted to see me..." As if he was searching in the silence for strength, Ray seemed to be a weaker version of his old self that I remembered to be always so confident.
He was a completely different person, tired while using the nickname we all called William since he was young.
"..." But I couldn't say much when I did the same before I answered him. "I heard them..."
By them, I was referring to his friends, the ones I didn't know and that Richard always seemed to keep away from me like some kind of secret.
"I heard them say it wasn't an accident..."
I didn't need to say anything else for him to understand what I was talking about as the color drained from his face, and Ray pulled a chair to sit down.
Looking away for a moment, he seemed to debate in his mind whether he could answer me or not while I just wanted to understand what they meant by that as the reality seemed to be even more complex than I imagined.
An electrical problem.
That was what William told me when I woke up, mentioning everything that had happened to me, his mother, and his brothers.
But as long as my eyes remained on my best friend, I began to suspect that not even my son knew the whole truth about that night before Ray let a sigh escape his lips, running a hand through his hair when he looked back to me.
... Tears streaming down my face for the thousandth time since I opened my eyes when strong guilt filled my chest as I hear his heavy words.
- Writer
