*******
I am awakened by a growl.
I raise my head and look around in fright, but there's nothing there. However, the scenery in front of me is so... colorful.
It's like I'm seeing the world in a whole new form.
I stood up on trembling legs. Everything seemed so vibrant and-- tall.
I looked down at my hands, but they were not there anymore.
Instead, I had... paws?
Wh- what's happening? I remember being close to the waterfall.
I took a deep breath and gathered my courage, slowly getting closer so I could see my reflection.
But when I looked in the water, it wasn't my reflection I was seeing...
It was-- the wolf in my pendant?
Did I enter some kind of magical land?
I should be scared out of my mind right now, but strangely, I am not. Looking at the wolf's reflection, I feel good.
I feel at peace and carefree.
I never thought I was missing something, and I can't explain how, but right now, I feel complete.
Like a part of me was dormant, and now, that part was awakened and made me complete again.
I take my time analyzing the wolf.
It's beautiful.
Just like in the pendant, I have purple eyes and white fur, but unlike the wolf in the pendant, I also have some silver highlights that shine in the moonlight.
Is this really me?
*******
A dream... it was just a dream.
But why?
I've only ever had nightmares about the time spent at the institution.
So what was this dream?
This might seem like a beautiful dream compared to the nightmares I constantly have... but it isn't.
The nightmares are horrible indeed. Reminiscing that time, reliving the pain over and over again... as terrible as it is, they're all fleeting memories.
I overcame that pain.
I survived.
All that remains is the burning desire for revenge.
And once I get my revenge, I will be at peace.
A chapter of my life will end in a most satisfying way.
But... making me remember the time I shifted, making me relieve the amazing feeling of being one with nature, of being complete... reminds me of what I've lost.
Making these memories resurface is most terrible.
Why did I reminisce about the day I shifted?
Is it because I now live in a pack of werewolves?
Being among other beings like me... did it make my subconscious recall that time?
I wonder how it is for them...
Can they shift just like me?
Do they feel as free as I did?
Are their wolves just as beautiful as mine was?
Do they feel whole as I once did?
But what use are these questions...
Missing something unreachable is a futile feeling.
It makes you sad and weak. And I cannot afford to be weak.
There's still so much I need to do.
Thankfully, the experiment was never completed.
They took my wolf away, but not her abilities.
I can no longer shapeshift, but I am still strong.
All I need right now is to learn how to make the best use of these abilities.
I know I am strong, but if I am to take revenge...
I need to be stronger.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The first day at school was rather dull.
It felt so odd to be in a room full of teenagers, but I suppose that was to be expected.
After all, they have only recently shifted... they didn't have to wait years to learn about themselves.
Out of everything the teacher said, two things in particular caught my attention.
Firstly, the age that werewolves shift.
I was surprised to learn that one would usually get their wolf at 16. Even more so when the teacher said some wolves develop early and could get their wolves at 14, but those are apparently remarkably rare cases. But this makes no sense to me. After all, I was still a few months away from turning 12 when I shifted. When asked, the teacher said wolves can't shapeshift any younger because our human bodies would not be able to withstand the pain, as our bones are still too fragile.
So what does that make me?
The second thing that caught my attention was the talk about mates.
Our teacher said that 'Werewolves have been blessed by the Moon Goddess with a mate, a perfect other half and counterpart to their soul. Once one bears the mark, both individuals will share a telepathic, almost metaphysical connection that bonds them forever.'
A mate... is this what David was talking about?
No wonder I felt my wolf reacting to him after years of no response.
She felt her soulmate.
No wonder his smell was messing with my head.
The teacher said that it is through scent that mates find and recognize each other.
Is this the destiny Mr. White talked about?
Destiny... I don't believe in it.
Or maybe I do not want to believe in it.
Leaving everything to chance and luck makes it easier to accept.
But if I wasn't unlucky... if I begin to believe it was my fate that wanted me to go through all those terrors... that would be truly depressing.
So, how do I feel about having a mate?
I wish to deny it, but the truth is, I can't. I've seen what David's scent does to me... I felt my wolf stir inside of me after years of silence... this bond is definitely real.
Truth be told... I think I am a little afraid. The idea of having a perfect soulmate is fascinating.
But given my past, it is hard to believe... too hard.
Even my parents betrayed me, so how could I entrust myself to a man I don't even know just because some deity thinks we are made for each other. What does she even know?
"Hello again, love."
Ah... here he is. My source of anxiety.
"Hello."
"I apologize for my sudden departure last time, but I was urgently needed somewhere."
He is too close for my liking, and yet, I cannot seem to be able to push him away as I find my senses clouded by the scent he emanates.
I wonder if he feels the same...
I wonder if my scent messes with his mind as he does with mine.
"Hi there!"
I got lost again... thank you, Sophia. You've saved me from an awkward moment.
"Hi."
"I see you and David already know each other!"
"Yes. We've met briefly."
"That's perfect! Come on, you're eating with us. Our cafeteria has better food options. The ones on the 2nd floor are too... healthy."
She turns and grabs my hand.
I know she only wanted to guide me, but I couldn't help but flinch at the touch.
"Are you alright?" why do I feel so much worry in David's voice?
Is that even something you can feel?
"Oh! Sorry, I didn't realize--"
"It's okay. I don't like physical contact, that's all."
"I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your personal space or make you uncomfortable in any way!"
"I know. No worries. Let us go now."
"Of course! This won't happen again, I promise."
Her positiveness and cheerful tone are addicting.
I find myself following her absentmindedly.
Once inside, all eyes are on me... I don't like the attention, but it was expected.
"Don't mind them. They're looking at you because you're new and- well... a rogue."
Without realizing it, I've remained glued to the cafeteria's entrance.
"I know."
We went to take our food, then sat at a table by the window, where Elias was already waiting.
"You already know David, and you've met my brother, Elias, so I guess there's no need for any more introductions. Tell me, how was your first day? I was told you were raised by humans and know nothing about werewolves. The classes already began last month, so you might've missed some things, but did you learn something useful?"
"Some things."
"Oh my! You love talking just about as much as my brother does..."
Although similar in appearance, the two's personalities are very different. I've only met them briefly a few times, but I can already point that out. While Sophie is bright, cheerful, and talkative, Elias seems more retracted, closed-off, cautious of others, and only seems to be talking when needed or asked. They seem to be the complete opposite of one another.
How intriguing.
While Sophie reminds me of my old self, Elias's personality matches my current one perfectly.
I also noticed how Elias was side-glancing me from time to time, and I could see in his eyes that he had questions for me but always seemed to choose silence instead.
I am also surprised at how quiet David is. He seemed more of a talker when we first met. But now, he is letting Sophie do all the talking, but I can see how he looks at me. My responses and reactions... he is studying me.
David was called away by a professor soon after.
I also wanted to leave.
I wanted to find the library, but Sophie won't let me.
"No one can function properly without food. You've barely touched your plate! You're not leaving until--"
"Hello, Sophie!"
"Oh. Hi... Catherine."
A new girl has joined our table. And the first thing I noticed was Sophie's expression. She did not like this girl. At all.
It felt a bit odd seeing Sophie different than her usual chirpy self.
I ignored their conversation at first, but it was clear why this girl came here.
"How graceful our Alpha is! He pities the unfortunate and takes care of the strays. How unfortunate it is that some don't know their place. You know the saying... if you give a puppy a bone out of pity, he will follow you."
She wasn't speaking to me. She wasn't even looking at me.
But it was clear that she was here for me.
This girl was looking down on me.
She is insulting me right in front of my eyes... does she think me stupid, or does she simply not care?
Well, she was the one to provoke me first, so Caleb really cannot blame me for anything.
"I suppose every school has their own wanna-be queen bee who puts others down in a pathetic attempt to make themselves appear important in hopes that others wouldn't notice how boring their life really is. I have no intention of being a part of your circus. You have exactly 15 seconds to disappear from my sight before things take an ugly turn."
I can feel every person in the cafeteria looking my way with their mouths hanging open.
Did they think I would take it quietly?
Staying silent only leads to more bullying.
One must assert dominance and superiority if one wants a truly peaceful life.
If not, such insects would continue to gather around without even realizing how much danger they are in. After all, some words cut deeper than knives, and their heads depend on it. It would be such a tragedy for someone to lose their life for saying or doing a stupid thing that could've been avoided so easily.
The girl named Catherine leaves... no, running away would be more accurate, just as David returns.
Looking up, I see their belivered gazes on me.
I don't know why...
But I think I can feel some fear stemming from both Sophie and Elias.
"This was not my fault. The girl was the one to provoke me first."
"We know... but girl... what the hell was that?"
"A warning."
"I believe she is asking about your aura, my love..."
"My aura?"
"Yes! You almost gave me a heart attack! Why didn't you tell us you were an Alpha?"
Eh?
...wasn't I a rogue?