His Purpose

Chapter 7

Isaac Pov

‘You’re not useless,’

Her words were repeated over and over again in my mind, like a whisper, echoing through the course of the night. As I shook and screamed through the nightmares, all I could hear were her words, like a beacon pulling me through. No matter how hard my nightmares tried to pull me under, to drown me in the rough current, they couldn’t, because I could still hear her.

‘You’re not useless,’

Maybe those words weren’t much, and maybe I was making too big of a deal out of them. I was fairly sure if I tried to hug her or kiss her right now she’d cut my head off and play soccer with it while my body convulsed on the ground. It wasn’t really the type of words that meant she had feelings for me anyway, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think all of a sudden she was starting to like me. But she didn’t think I was useless, and for some reason that made me smile.

I woke to the alarm going off as I always do, and despite how late I had stayed out trying to get over the frustration over Nate’s words, on top of rolling around with the nightmares that always seemed to be there pulling at me, I felt more rested than I usually did. I had gotten quite used to managing on barely any sleep, and it didn’t really matter if it wasn’t healthy because I was a werewolf and my body would get over the exhaustion eventually. Plus it didn’t hurt that I’d been torturing my body like this since I was a child, and I was well used to this by now. I took a shower, looking at myself in the mirror, something I’ve been getting used to doing since the time I woke up with sharpie all over my face and embarrassed myself going outside like that. It wasn’t the best shower, I didn’t need to wash my hair or go through too much effort, mostly just a cold shower to wake myself up, since after I was done training I’d end up taking a more thorough one to wash off the sweat and dirt from the workout.

This was my life, my normal, it was everything to me. I jogged out to the training field as Patrick started to wake up in my mind with a tired yawn, stretching as I readied myself. I always was out here before anyone else, setting up the fields, making sure the equipment was good, and taking note of what was broken and what needed to be replaced. Despite how annoyed Nate was over me wanting new equipment I knew he’d get it because it was necessary for the warriors. Once everything was set up and checked I started to run around the track. It didn’t take long for a few of my early riser elites to join me, and by the time I had run around the track a good ten times, all of my elites, some of the warriors, and Arabella were there. Arabella wasn’t running with us, she stood there watching, doing stretches as her chocolate eyes evaluated everything and everyone. Every time I passed her I forced myself to keep my gaze straight, feeling the unhappiness she felt fluttering through her walls. I wasn’t why she was unhappy, but I didn’t question it, because it was probably my fault. Every f*****g thing was my fault.

‘I don’t think everything is your fault, Isaac. I think you just are impatient. You expect too much. Yeah, Nate does lack what a true alpha needs and he definitely needs to be trained in fighting better. But he’s not going to trust you to train him, not after you just told everyone you’ve been simping on his wife for the past months. You’re pushing buttons, Isaac. You have to give people time to get past everything and trust you again. You were one of the big reasons Tessa and yourself got kidnapped, to begin with. All of it could have been avoided or at least some sort of warning of what was coming if you’d told Nate from the start what was going on.’ Patrick said.

I closed my eyes, allowing my feet and the sounds of the others breathing around me to guide me around the curves of the track, running blind. “Every other person, eyes closed! Listen to those around you!” I called out, knowing everyone was listening. It wasn’t technically time for training yet, but they wouldn’t ignore my order or my exercise. We were just stretching and warming up, but there was always time to learn something new.

I thought about Patrick’s words as I ran blind, frowning. ‘I know. I know I f****d up, okay? I just…he…It’s not easy. I don’t even know how to explain it. Jason had this pull on me, this hold on me that no matter how hard I tried to shake him, I just couldn’t stop being scared of him. He’s gone, and I’m still scared of him. I turn a corner and I still expect to see him there. I can’t be in a bathtub or a lake, any sort of water that’s not a stand-up shower, because of the times he’s tried to drown me. No matter how strong I get, he’s always stronger. He’s always stronger than me, in my mind.’ I whispered.

Patrick sighed, nodding at me. For the past few months, we’d been arguing with this, about this. He hated the very second I went out there to tell Jason about the contract between Tessa and Nate. He hated every time I nodded, and went along with what Jason wanted because I was simply scared of him. No matter how hard Patrick tried, however, it just wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t pull myself out of the nightmares, the past, and Jason. ‘There’s no point in arguing over it anymore. Nate killed Jason, it’s done and over with now. But that doesn’t change what you did. It’s only been a week, Isaac. You’re impatient. You need to realize it’s going to take time for them to get past this. Tessa smiles at you, she’s forgiven everything, but Nate and Arabella haven’t. Nate will get past it in time, but Arabella…we need to try harder. There’s not much time left, Isaac. You need to try harder or we’ll end up losing our mate.’ He said.

All around me the soft thuds of those running into each other were heard, a few gasps of surprise and plops of those who fell over, rolling out of the way of the others before they get trampled. It wasn’t long after that, that Arabella started to clap her hands at everyone. I opened my eyes and stopped instantly, one of the elites running into me for a moment with a gasp of surprise, and I caught her before she fell on her face, helping her stand straight again. I looked around at everyone, taking in those who were helping others up, everyone chuckling and joking with each other over who fell into who, and those who were still standing feeling superior as they puffed out their chests.

Amidst the chatter and the laughter, I saw her. Arabella’s shoulder-length hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, her bangs moving around her face, pulled free by the force of the wind. I found myself walking to her, drawn to her, the pull strong as Patrick whimpered, and had to force myself to hold back my own whimper. I remembered what Patrick said, how I needed to try harder, but I didn’t know how. Teasing her? Picking on her? Would that really do anything? Or would it just piss her off even more? I wasn’t sure what to think, because this was so new for me. Before I met Tessa I’d been a player, a different woman every other day, nothing serious, it was never anything serious. But I’d never had to pursue a woman before, and none of the ones I had been interested in had ever told me no.

“What the f**k are you looking at?” Arabella spat at me, her eyes narrowed as she stood her ground, arms crossed over her chest.

She was so different from last night, where I could barely see her in the dim light of the crescent moon. Last night she’d looked unsure, her guard dropped, confused, and the words she had said, even now they were resonating inside me. ‘You’re not useless,’

I took a deep breath, staring at her, wondering if she’d ever just…let me in. If this was worth it, or if it was better if I just rejected her and tried again with someone I hadn’t hurt so badly. But I didn’t want to try again, I didn’t want to reject her, because she was mine. I responded to her with a smile, watching her take a hesitant step back, and teased her, as I always have been, because at least when she was angry with me, she was looking at me. “Your beautiful face, darling, thinking about how much I want to kiss you,” I said with a wink as she growled at me.

I felt her fist collide with my cheek as my head jerked to the side with a snap, the blow strong enough to throb since she’s an alpha as well. No one around us said anything, because this was our usual, Arabella and I. “f**k you, Isaac,” She spat at me, anger dancing in her eyes as I turned to look at her.

I watched her stomp off towards the warrior field, my fingers pressed against my cheek, feeling the tingles from her touch throbbing in time with the pain of her punch, and sighed. Yeah. At least when she’s mad, she’s looking at me.