Cheated and Pregnant (editing)

6

Josh tried to sneak up on me while I was distracted. I backed away, pointing the g*n at him, the g*n mouth was aimed at the left side of his chest, and if my aiming was accurate, it's directed at his heart. I wasn't going to let him get close to me with his training.

“If you take a step closer, I'll put a bullet in your chest.” Josh paused, putting his hands up over his head.

“Please, Rosie, I know you would rather not do this.” He pleaded with me. He must have seen my wall c***k a little, so he continued to talk, trying to convince me with the rubbish that was coming out of his mouth. “Rosie we can work things out, together forever, remember, let's forget about this, Rosie, I love you, only you.”

“You love me? Yet, you cheated on me with my best friend. Do you know how heart breaking this is?” My voice was thick with emotions, that I was trying so hard to control.

“Baby, I know, and I'm sorry to you, I love you so much, this was a mistake. Honestly, I don't know what came over me, and I never meant to hurt you.  Baby, she seduced me. Yes, that's what happened. She poisoned me. Because how could I cheat on you? I love you. You trust me, right?” His words were hurting me more and more, cutting the stings to my heart.

I covered my mouth to stop the sound of crying from coming out, my eyes cloudy with my tears. My head started to hurt, just like my heart was hurting. The questions in my head just kept coming. Why am I standing here? Why me? Why now? When I'm finally getting everything that I deserve. My happiness cannot last long. But why? Don't I deserve happiness? Why my life have to be so hard? That every stage of my life there is a disaster.

Can I forgive him? Can I forgive them? And move on with my life. How can I move on? When they have ruined everything that I've loved and cared about. He said it's a mistake, but is it really? He also said she seduced and poisoned him. Did she? But why?

Tia believed I seduced all her previous boyfriends. That I purposefully get their attention, get them to l**t after me, and that I am the reason for all her failed relationships. Did she seduce Josh to get back at me? Ruined my relationship because she assumed I was the problem in her relationship.

“What?!” Tia's voice woke me up, bringing me back to the situation in front of me. “I did not seduce you, and don't try to pin this all on me.” Josh had gotten closer. He must have realized that I was distracted and took the opportunity to get closer to me.

“Shut the f*** up, Tia!” Tia jumped, frightened, when Josh suddenly raised his voice at her. “Rosie,” He called my name to get back my attention and distract me from what Tia had said. “Listen to me, she is lying, I love you. Tia is nothing, she means nothing to me.” He said calmly like he just didn't lose his sht and snapped at Tia.

“Don't tell me to shut up. You're lying and I will not take the blame. I admit I came on to you first, but after the first time you always come to find me when she's not around. You were the one whispering in my ears that you're gonna leave the b***h for me.” Tia snapped at him, gesturing to me, throwing her hands up in the air.

“And you believed me?” He laughed at her. “You thought I was going to leave you for her. Look at her and look at you. I never wanted to be with you, you were just easy. I mean, look at you,” He scorned her. “You're a nobody, you're just so easy to sleep with.” He continued to laugh at her, and she looked down in shame. His words were cutting into her like knives. Tia's shame and sadness soon turned into anger.

“So you used me.” Tia hissed. She jumps up on the bed, no longer on her knees. Good thing she had on a T-shirt or else she would have flashed me. “But you said you loved me…” She said pathetically, her hands fisted in the shirt. “You even proposed to me when I got here.” She said, lifting her ring finger.

“What?!” I gasped. My eyes wide, starting from one person to the other then resting my eyes on the ring on Tia's left hand, on the finger where a proposed ring should go.

“Rosie…” I turned to look at him, looking guilty and sorry. Josh tried to fool me. He was playing on my emotions, trying to c***k me bit by bit, and I almost did. Now I'm hearing that he proposed to Tia, and she has the ring to prove it. This did it for me. If I wanted to forgive him before, it's all gone now with this revelation.

“Shut the f*** up!” My voice was strained with emotions. “And back the f*** away from me.” I said threateningly.

He looked as if he wanted to say something, but the g*n I had aimed at his head made him pause, and he kept quiet, taking steps backward.

“Rosie, I wish I could say that I'm sorry that I did this to you, but I'm not. The truth is that I've never felt so happy before and the thought that I'm sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend didn't bother me, it didn't t*****e me because I was happy finally. You always get the best, but what about me? I wanted the best, I wanted to be loved too, but regardless of where I looked for it, I never found love. And then I thought, if I can't find my own love, why don't I just steal it.” Tia was talking like what she did, what they had together, was justified. “Josh made me feel so loved, he gave me love, he made me feel wanted, I felt so special. No man in my entire life had made me feel such positive emotions, and I wanted to avoid telling you, knowing that you would break us up. That my happiness would end,” Tia was confessing, and I couldn't believe my ears. My best friend wanted my relationship.

The revelation that she purposely destroyed my relationship because she got some semblance of happiness, did it for me, and I find myself falling over the edge – she even had that dreamy look on her face. I laughed, the vibration of it cutting into my heart. They looked at me like I was crazy.

“Now I see, you've always been a sl*t and that's why people don't like you, and I always wondered why. You're filled with jealous and envy.” I mentally laughed at how stupid I was for being around someone like her.

“You b***h… You don't get to judge me. You lost your virginity to your stepfather, and he didn't stop having his way with you until you killed him.” She spilled what I kept in the dark for so many years, and when she said it, I could feel all the colour drain from my face and I felt the unwanted memories resurfacing. I tried to push them back to the back of my mind, but they came back with a vengeance after being suppressed for so long.

“What?!” Josh shouted, and for a moment, I forgot that he was in the room as I was drowning in my memories.

“I trusted you with my secret,” I said with disappointment more than anger. I was in a place where I needed someone to talk to, and she was there, and I told her what happened to me.

“It's not a secret, when everyone knows about the little girl who was molested, r***d, and beaten by her stepdad until she snapped and killed him, he's just finding out that that little girl was you.” She said, pointing at me.

“Shut up!” I screamed, I wished she would just shut up. She opened her mouth to say more, but I stopped her from talking. “Shut up, or I'll kill you,” I threatened, hoping she would just stop bringing up my past.

“Like how you killed your step-dad," she continued to press my buttons. It wasn't a pretty place to be going right now. With a g*n in my hand and unwanted memories, something bad could happen. I would rather not relive that moment again or any of the moment that happened before I killed him.

“Rosie, is this true? Tell me she's lying.” He said, looking as if he were going to be sick, he looked so broken. Tears flow from my eyes freely has he stared at me his eyes filled with pity for the little girl who was molested the one who killed her father, but that girl isn't me, I'm not her.

“Her real name isn't even Rosie Robinson. Her real name is…" I cut her off before she could reveal my previous name, the name he called me.

“Don't you dare.” I warned her, but she didn't listen, and continued to say a name I wanted to forget.

"Is Grace Hardie..." She finished without a care in the world, a care for me, and how her saying that name will affect me.

I saw the look on Josh's face that I never wanted to see. That look was the reason I never told him. I was all too familiar with that looked. I was stared at in the same way when everything happened, and it became public. I came here to start over my life, to forget Grace Hardie, and live my new life as Rosie Robinson. It was like Grace Hardie never existed. But how long can a person run from their past? Not forever.

“Josh?” I called his name, the new me already falling apart as I was forced to remember the old me I had left behind to wilt away. I was hoping, and praying, that this doesn't change the way he feels about me.

“Who are you?” He asked in disbelief.  It was like to my face and a stab to my already wounded heart. We have been together for five years, yet he asked me who I am, but I wished he didn't. Do I look like a stranger to him? That little girl is not me, I'm Rosie Robinson, I have to be.

“Josh please, you don't understand. I had to change my name. I had no choice, but I couldn't continue to live as Grace Hardie for the rest of my life. I wanted to forget her. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid. I didn't know how you would react. .” I tried to explain to him. “I was afraid you wouldn't want me anymore because which man wants someone who has been already used by someone in that way. I didn't mean to hide it from you, but how could I mention it. We were so happy, I wanted to avoid ruining our happiness.”

“You were that seventeen years old girl that was on every news station. You were covered in blood all over, with that lifeless look in your eyes.” From the look on his face, he is looking at me like that blooded teenager who they had thought killed her stepdad in cold blood until they heard the true story.

I took years for me to be myself again, but I wasn't myself until I changed my name and the state that I was living in. My innocent was stolen from me. I wasn't the same after all that I went through. It took months, days and years to get to where I am, it took so much out of me to erase that girl.

It took a long time to get rid of the lifeless and dead look in my eyes. Furthermore, it took time for them to shine again. I was damaged beyond repair. It took a lot of counseling to bring me back alive because it was like I was dead.

“That's not me any more I have changed.” I don't know how this went from them sleeping together to my old life. “Please Josh, don't let this change anything between us.” Why did things turn against and turned on me? Now I'm pleading with Josh, who cheated on me, to never change the way he looks at me or thinks of me. I just can't handle the thought of being treated like that little girl again.

“When were you going to tell me?” He asked. I didn't know how to answer, but I had to.

“Soon, but I didn't know how to bring this up in a conversation.”  I told him looking down. I feel so vulnerable right now. Like I was out in the open n***d.

“You were never going to tell me about it…" He said, drawing a conclusion after watching me. I had to lie because who would want to hear about the stepdad taking advantage of her until she killed him.

“No. It was all in the past and all I wanted to do was forget. I wanted a new life and I had it. I had started it with you. I fell in love with you, but I didn't trust you enough to not act the way you are acting now with that look in your eyes.” I explained why, didn't want to say something.

All the while, his head was hanging low. He looked up straight in her eyes and she was shocked at how red they were. “You should've told me, Grace. I would have treated you better. I would have never done this to you. You deserve better than this, and I'm sorry.” He was crying and I couldn't believe my eyes. I have never seen him crying like this before, and it broke me how broken he looked.

“Don't call me that. My name is Rosie. Please don't call me that again.” I said breaking down a little bit, not too much to let my guard down. I'm still wary of the two that were standing in the room with me. I didn't hold them at g*n point, but the g*n was still in my hands.