INSTA-FAMILY

1 VAUGHN The scuffle of shoes on a nearby sidewalk had me unclenching my jaw and opening my eyes. I lifted my head from the backrest of the driver’s seat and glanced out the passenger side window I had rolled down. But it wasn’t Duke approaching. Hissing out my frustration, I shifted my gaze to the building I’d been parked at the curb in front of for the last fifteen minutes, and after giving it an impatient scowl, my brother still did not emerge. He was well aware that I was out here too. I’d texted to let him know. Twice. The annoying little s**t was trying to force me to go in there and fetch him like some kind of disapproving father. But I wasn’t going to do it. Not this time. If he wanted to be late for his appointment, we’d be late for his damn appointment. And then I’d be late getting back to work after my lunch break. I drummed my fingers restlessly on the steering wheel. A dog barked in the distance. All the while, the main doors to Beriss International remained closed. Seriously, if we missed this appointment, we might lose out on a golden opportunity to try a new medicine Duke’s doctor had been raving about. And I couldn’t allow us to do that, not when it might mean the difference between having an irritating, ungrateful, thoughtless younger brother in my life or having no one at all. Depending on the outcome of his latest test results, his very existence could depend on this one appointment. “Dammit,” I muttered, grinding my teeth. I hated wondering about his life expectancy, though, so I shoved my mind back into irritation mode, which wasn’t too hard because I truly did detest how he always forced me to be the overbearing asshole in every situation. But if he didn’t get his infuriating hide out here in the next two seconds, I was going in there and dragging him out by the scruff of the neck. And... Time was up. I reached for the door handle just as the entrance to the building opened. Oh, thank God. The pipsqueak was going to be responsible for once in his life. Except, what do you know, it wasn’t Duke who exited. Because, of course, it wouldn’t be. “Dickhead,” I hissed to the absent man as I scowled at the woman who strolled outside instead, casually swinging a sack lunch at her side. He was honestly going to make me get out of this car and track him down. I exhaled roughly, seeking patience, while the woman with the lunch veered off the sidewalk and stepped onto the grass. Blinking, I watched her near a picnic table. Instead of sitting down and facing the table, she climbed up so she could perch herself on the surface of it with her feet planted on the bench as she faced the street. Then she plunked her sack down next to her and opened the top before drawing out a bottle of water. After unscrewing the lid, she took a healthy drink and then set it on her other side. She seemed to have a system going as she extracted a napkin and unfolded it to drape over her lap. Next came a sandwich housed in a clear bag. After unzipping that, she freed one diagonal half and began to eat. I don’t know what it was about her but even the way she ate managed to mesmerize me. It reminded me of a hungry kid delighting in a slice of cold, juicy watermelon on a hot day. Holding it with both hands, she sank her teeth directly in that best center part, then she arched her back and stretched her legs out in front of her—probably curling her toes inside her dark shoes as she went. When she began to sway slightly back and forth, I swear I heard muted humming coming from her direction, and I leaned toward the window, straining until I made out the melody of the Harry Potter theme song. Damn, but I was reasonably sure I’d never seen anyone enjoy a sandwich as much as she seemed to be enjoying that one. A jealous ache tightened its way across my chest. She emanated such peace and contentment that I momentarily wished I were her, just sitting there, eating a sandwich in the pleasant silence with no worries. No cancer to think about, or doctor’s appointment to schedule, or bills to stress over. No annoying younger brother I had to strong-arm to do everything. Yeah, that would be the life, wouldn’t it? A gentle breeze drifted by, coaxing the woman to reach up and comb a piece of hair out of her face with her fingertips and tuck it behind her ear, where a silver dangling earring glinted in the sunlight. I swallowed, reluctantly acknowledging just how attractive she was. Somewhere in my age range but probably a couple of years younger, she was slender and leggy with a wholesome, serene way about her. Her hair was dark and board-straight with the top part tied back save for two long bangs that hung down, framing either side of her oval-shaped face. I was too far away to catch her eye color or any other details; I just knew I liked what I saw, and the tightening that gripped me next occurred further down, closer to the groin area. I shifted in my seat, tearing my attention away from her and growing uncomfortable by the impact she had on me. But then temptation drew me back, and I looked over again. As she began to tear off the crust of her bread, I sniffed in amusement, smiling because Duke refused to eat the crust on his sandwiches too. I didn’t realize she had other plans for her crust, however, until she spoke. “There you are. I was beginning to wonder if you were coming today.” Frowning, I glanced around, wondering who she was talking to. But then she tossed the bread onto the ground in front of her, and I finally noticed a small brown squirrel darting over the grass and leaves to approach her. As soon as the morsel of food landed, the furball snagged it up and hurried off again, scurrying up a tree. She laughed, and my skin prickled with awareness. I liked her laugh. Longing filled my veins, and I no longer wished I were her but instead I wished I was sitting on that table beside her, eating the other half of her sandwich and chuckling as we bumped our shoulders together and watched the squirrel polish off its bread on a high branch. I bet she smelled amazing. I inhaled deeply as if trying to breathe her in from here. When a tingling spread over my scalp and then rushed down the center of my spine where it settled in deep, I knew I was taking the daydream too far. But I kept watching her anyway, captivated by the stranger who had no idea I was even— “Hey, loser!” “Jesus.” I jumped out of my skin as a familiar face appeared in the opening of the passenger side window, completely blocking my view of the brunette. “Whatcha doing?” he asked with way too much cheer. “Duke,” I scolded, pressing a hand to my heart and scowling when he merely laughed at my reaction. “Yeah, you’re so hilarious,” I added dryly, reaching forward to start the engine of the car. “Now get in. We’re already late.” Still snickering over the mini scare he’d given me, Duke opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. “Well, excuse me for working,” he spouted back cattily. I snorted. “Working, my ass.” I’d believe that when I saw it. I had a feeling Duke hadn’t completed a full day of work in the eight months he’d been employed at the advertising firm he was at now. It wasn’t in his chemical makeup. I think it just made him feel normal to play at having a job. “Hey, I work,” he protested, only to snicker. “Sometimes.” “But mostly not,” I added for him, and he laughed, not about to correct me. I geared the car into drive but before I pulled away from the curb, I cast one last glance toward the woman. She was feeding another squirrel. Or maybe it was the same one. Either way, she was paying no attention to us, too absorbed in her task to notice my black Dodge Charger barely twenty yards away. I smiled slightly as I entered traffic. And at that moment, I couldn’t even be irritated by just how far behind schedule we were running or be worried about what Duke’s test results might say. A bit of her peace seemed to fill me, and I found myself beginning to hum the Harry Potter theme song under my breath. Next to me, Duke arched a curious eyebrow, instantly picking up on my unusual, non-annoyed behavior, and then he followed the path of my recent glance out the passenger side window. When he went as far as to twist in his seat to stare after the woman still sitting in front of Beriss, my gut knotted with tension, just knowing he was going to— “What was that?” he asked, coming back around to blink at me questioningly. My hand flexed around the steering wheel. Feigning innocence, I said, “What was what?” He motioned over his shoulder. “You totally just checked that chick out.” I sent him an incredulous glance, sputtering, “What!?” even as my heart began to beat a little faster. “I did not.” “Yes, you did.” Grinning, he pointed at me, which only made my face heat with guilty humiliation. “You checked her out hard.” Then he gave a delighted laugh and drummed his hands on the dash, exclaiming, “This is awesome. Vaughn has a crush.” “Oh, shut up,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “And put your seatbelt on.” With a sniff, he ignored his seatbelt. “As if we even have the likelihood of wrecking with you driving, grandma.” I sighed and shook my head. “You’re such an ass.” He laughed again, reveling in my discomfort. “And you’re blushing like a sixth grader.” With no good comeback for that, I merely sighed and ground my teeth irritably, all the while choking the steering wheel in a death grip. It was times like this I wished I’d been an only child. Meanwhile, Duke hooted out his amusement until the shine of it started to wear off. Just when things settled down and I thought he’d moved past teasing me, he announced into the silence, “Her name’s Lucy, if you were curious.” Glancing over as I stopped us at a light, I caught the tail end of his shrug. “Or she goes by Lucy Olivia a lot.” He turned to meet my gaze. “Her cubicle’s three down from mine at Beriss.” Returning my attention to the light, I cleared my throat. “Good to know.” I kept my voice sarcastic so he wouldn’t pick up any interest in it, all the while, I decided Lucy was a good name for her. It fit. “She’s kind of clumsy, though,” Duke went on, despite my lack of response. “Always seems to drop s**t in front of my cubicle. But…” He gave another loose lift of the shoulders. “It makes her bend over a lot, so I can’t really complain.” The devilish gleam in his smile told me there was more to the story, so I guessed, “You trip her on purpose, don’t you?” He sputtered out his typical guiltily caught laugh, crying, “What? She’s got a nice ass. And hasn’t caught on to what I’m doing yet. Can you blame me?” “Yes,” I said with all seriousness, getting us through the intersection as the light turned green. “It’s a dirtbag move. Now put your damn seatbelt on.” He grumbled but finally obeyed, clicking the safety harness into place before glancing up and saying, “Want me to get her phone number for you?” “Yeah, would you, please?” I asked, deciding to just play along because I knew this was going to be the fastest way to get him to drop the subject entirely. “And then maybe you could come on our first date with us,” I added, blinking my lashes at him hopefully. “You could sit between us at the movies and even walk her to her door with me at the end of the night.” Grinning, Duke slugged my shoulder. “Hell, for you, buddy, I’d follow you guys all the way into the bedroom and show you where her g-spot is.” “God!” I finally cracked a smile and shook my head. “You really are a twerp, you know that?” “Yeah.” He sighed as if refreshed by the insult and rested his head back on his headrest. “I know.” The boy sounded so proud of himself that I had to glance over, hoping to soak in some of his joy. Eyes closed, he grinned, completely satisfied with his wicked ways. It caused a fissure of pain to s***h straight across my chest until I found it nearly impossible to breathe. But it was just so hard to believe he was dying and that our options were running thin. If some miracle didn’t happen soon, I’d lose that mischievous smirk of his forever. I couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t in it. He didn’t even look that sick. Other than the recent weight loss, deep rings forming under his eyes, and heightened rasp in his voice from the cancer in his throat, he was the same old Duke, as ornery and fiendish as ever, full of piss and vinegar. Except everyone kept telling me lately that we were on the downward slide, and he probably wouldn’t see his twenty-third birthday, which was less than six months away. Unable to accept that, I bit down on the inside of my lip and tapped my fingers restlessly on the steering wheel as the cancer clinic came into view. “You’re going to take this new treatment, right?” I asked quietly. “If the test results are good enough, and the doctor recommends it, you’ll say yes?” A tired sigh exited Duke’s lungs before he shook his head against the headrest and said, “I don’t know, man. Chemo f*****g sucks. I told you I was done with that s**t last time.” “I know,” I murmured. I’d been the one to sit beside him through every round; no one knew how much it depleted him the way I did. “But this experimental dosage is supposed to be less aggressive.” Groaning, he ground the palms of his hands into his eyes before flinging them into his lap and complaining, “I just don’t see the point. At this stage, nothing is going to save me.” “Hey, you’ve made it two years longer than anyone thought you would,” I argued as I pulled into the parking lot. “That’s not nothing.” “Yeah, but honestly, we’d only be extending things by a few months. If that. But probably by just weeks. How is that even worth it?” It was worth it because I needed those few months. Or weeks. Or days. Whatever I could get, I’d take. I needed every single f*****g minute he had left. And if he was too worn out to keep fighting, then I’d fight for him. I’d be his damn lungs to keep breathing if I could. But I knew I didn’t have a say in this, and that shattered me. “Let’s just see what the doctor has to say, okay?” I allowed, managing to keep my voice steady as I found a shady place to park. “Or how about this?” Flinging off his seatbelt, he turned to me. “I’ll take the new medicine if you consider getting yourself laid sometime this decade.” “If you take this medicine,” I promised, my heart leaping with hope. “I will personally ask out your hot coworker tomorrow.” Didn’t matter how immature and stupid of a deal I thought it was, I was willing to agree to anything. A huge grin spread across Duke’s face. “Hot, huh? How’d you know she was hot? I thought you swore you didn’t check her out.” I rolled my eyes and then sent him a glance. “You know I checked her out.” “Ha!” he crowed, spiking a hand into the air as he gloated. “I knew it. I knew you liked what you saw.” Then he cleared his throat, rattled out a quick cough, and turned serious. “Brother,” he told me solemnly and held out a hand to shake. “You have yourself a deal.” Thank God. I shook with him, even as a thrilling anxiety raced through my stomach. There was profound relief that he was willing to consider more treatment. But then thinking about pursuing a woman—especially the beautiful, squirrel-feeding, sandwich eater—filled me with dread. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d asked someone out on an actual date. I didn’t even know how it was done anymore. Duke would guide me through it, though; I was sure. Hell, his annoying ass would probably be right there between us just as we had teased, and he’d blurt the question to her before I even could. Smiling over that image, I felt more reassured as we walked toward the clinic. I was going to get more time with my brother because of this; I was sure of it. Half an hour later, I growled out a livid curse and flung the handful of pamphlets that the doctor had just given me across the room as he and his nurse quietly exited, giving Duke and me time to process our newest circumstances. “Sons of bitches,” I muttered. I wanted to blame my brother’s tardiness on this. If only we’d gotten here ten f*****g minutes earlier, this wouldn’t be happening. Or the doctors. I mean, hell. Weren’t they supposed to save lives, not announce the end of them? This was total bullshit. But I knew none of those were the reasons we’d been given a no to the new treatment. We’d simply run out of time. The test results had not come back with good news. Faring much better than I, Duke calmly slid off the examining table and bent to pick up the pamphlets, one by one, skimming through each as he shuffled them into some kind of order. “Let’s go with this one,” he finally announced, holding up the brochure for Compassus Hospice. “It’s got ass in the name.” Then he snorted at his own sophomoric snark. My chin trembled, and I nearly lost my s**t, right then and there. I think I was going to miss his stupid, juvenile sense of humor the most. Somehow corralling my emotions back under control, I nodded once and rasped, “If that’s the one you want.” “Yep.” He nodded too. “I’m going to put in my two weeks’ notice at Beriss tomorrow. I don’t feel like working anymore, and advertising firms weren’t really my thing, anyway.” Closing my eyes, I shuddered out a breath. “Okay.” It was official. Our ship was sinking. There would be no all-saving miracle cure to keep him alive. God, but I wasn’t ready. Opening my lashes, I looked at my little brother, at the man he’d become and the person he’d never get to be. There was nothing worse on earth than knowing I couldn’t save him. I had no control over what was happening. As everything inside me spiraled in a dizzying wave, I hitched my head toward the door. “Let’s get the f**k out of here.” Duke grinned and bound toward the exit. “Hell, yes. It’s like you read my mind, brother. Can we go through a drive-through on the way home? I’m craving some french fries and chicken nuggets like you wouldn’t believe.” “Sure,” I murmured as I followed him out the door, studying the way he moved and filing it all away, trying to save every little memory I could as he strolled down the hall, calling over his shoulder for me to hurry. He’d been prepared for this, I realized. He’d known what was going to happen today, and he’d already made peace with it, while I had been living in absolute denial. It amazed me how he could do that because that ability had never been gifted to me. I was the worrier, the planner, the one who held on tight. I’d never even considered the possibility of having to let go. It scared me. And all I could do was follow his lead on this one, hoping it didn’t destroy me completely. He never mentioned me asking anyone else on a date again. And honestly, I forgot all about squirrel-feeding Lucy from his work until two weeks later, when I went to Duke’s bedroom to wake him for yet another appointment, this one with our hospice representative. I’d just lifted my hand to knock on his door when it opened, revealing a woman who was trying to exit. Dark hair a complete mess and shoes in her hand, signifying that she’d stayed the night, she was glancing back into the room as if to make sure Duke was still sleeping, all the while moving forward to escape and nearly colliding into my chest in the process. She turned back just in time to jar to a halt and yelp out her surprise before crashing into me. “What the hell?” I cried, not at all expecting anyone to be sneaking from my dying brother’s bedroom. Especially a woman. I wouldn’t have thought s*x was something he’d want to attempt or could even accomplish anymore. In the past few weeks, he’d lost a significant amount of weight, his regular activities had slowed, and even that ever-present, bright and mischievous light in his eyes had been starting to dim. But I was apparently very wrong about his libido. Proof positive here. The woman looked up, then, her bright sapphire blue eyes stealing the air from my lungs before I realized I was looking at the very female I’d watched eat a sandwich in front of Beriss a few short weeks before. Lips parting in shock, I could only gape at her for the longest moment. Well, I guess I knew what color her eyes were now.