Trapped

Chapter 4

Jessi's POV:

    The next morning went pretty much the same as the morning before.  I got up prior to Jamison, got myself around and made him breakfast while he was in the shower.  I'm starting to get this breakfast routine figured out.  Doing pretty good at it I think.  He seems to be in a good mood again this morning.  I don't know if it is because I've been making sure his meal is ready and hot when he comes out but what ever it is, I prefer it.  I don't like him angry.  I can see it in his eyes now if he's not having a good day. 

    After he left for the day I went around and did some more cleaning.  That smell, it is still here and I just can't seem to find what is causing it.  I'm now in the bedroom washing down the walls. I can't figure out where it is coming from. 

    After spending a couple hours cleaning I grabbed my ingredient list that I had for supper tonight and decided to head out to the store.  We didn't have quite a few of the ingredients I needed for this recipe I saw on TV yesterday and I really wanted to give it a try. The market was just a couple of blocks from here and I wasn't planning on being gone long. I still had a few hours yet till Jamison was due to come home and I know I will be home long before that.

    It was such a beautiful day.  The sky was blue, the temperature wasn't to hot and there was a slight breeze.  Summer is just around the corner and the cool weather is about gone.  While I was in my daze looking at the scenery I happen to spot a pay phone.  I couldn't believe they still had those.  I don't think I've ever seen one before. I wonder if it still works.  I detoured  a little and went to it and picked up the phone.  It had a dial tone.  I started to feel all giddy inside.  I have to stop at this phone on my way home from the market.  I don't have any change on me right now but I will make sure I get a few quarters.  I want to talk to my mom.  I bet she is worried sick about me.  I haven't talked to her since the morning after my birthday.  She knows that I moved out with Jamison but the fact that I haven't talked to her in days makes me sad so I imagine she is too.

    The market was pretty busy at this time of the day.  There were mostly mom's with their babies and toddlers in the carts walking around.  Probably running errands while their husbands are at work.  I took out my list to see what all it is that I would need.  I really don't know my way around a market.  Never had to shop for food myself before and I've never really paid any attention to where anything is usually when I was with my mom.  I grabbed a cart and just started walking down each isle till I found everything that I needed.  It took a little longer than I had thought it would but I still had time. Eventually I will know my way around and it won't take quite as long.

    I was up at the cashier getting ready to pay for my items when I realized I needed some quarters.  I had almost forgotten!

    "Can you give me 4 quarters please in change?"  The cashier didn't seem to care that I needed change.  She must get that question a lot.  All these toddlers running around probably wanting candy from the machines as the moms are walking out to their cars. She handed me my change and out the door I went.  As soon as I got to the pay phone I hurried up and put in my quarters and made the phone call to my mom. Please mom be home.  I won't be able to get back out here till tomorrow to call.   A few rings later and she picked up the phone.

    "Hello?" She sounded confused on the other side. Probably saw on the caller ID the number and didn't recognize it.

    "Hi mom!  It's me Jessi!"

    "Oh my dear!  How are you?  Why haven't you called sooner?  Did you get to your new place okay?  She was just rattling off so many questions all at once.  I don't know if it was worry or excitement causing her to act like that.  It was so good to hear her voice.

    "I'm doing good mom."  I lied.  I couldn't let her know how it really has been.  That I've had some bruises on my stomach and busted lip.  She would just say to me that she knew I was to young to move out that she knew I wasn't ready. Besides, I didn't want her to worry about me.  For 18 years she's had to take care of me.  It's time for her to have a break.  "Our phone isn't working right in the apartment so I am calling form a pay phone.  Jamison is trying to get it fixed but with his work schedule he hasn't had much time." Another lie.  Our phone isn't broke, he just has it set up that way on purpose.  That thought made me frown knowing that he did that on purpose.

    "I'm so glad everything is going good for you dear.  Hopefully you get your phone working.  Your father and I would like to come down and visit you soon.  You will need to give us a call and let me know when a good time will be.  Along with directions on how to get there.  Jamison didn't give us your address."

    "Sure mom that would be great!  But hey, the phone is telling me to put in more quarters so I'm going to have to get going mom. I love you!"

    "Love you to dear."

    I hung up the phone.  It felt so good to hear from her.  I didn't want to tell her not to come to our place.  It isn't fit for company.  Especially since I can't seem to get rid of that smell. Why didn't Jamison give her our address? In fact why don't I have the address? I never paid any attention to what street we were on or what apartment number we were at.  Why wouldn't he tell me or my parents that?

    I got up to our apartment building and walked in.  We were 3 stories up and there was no elevator. It was good exercise but I will definitely get tired of this walk.  I got upstairs only to find the door was already unlocked.  I know I locked the door when I left, I just know I did. I slowly opened the door thinking, did someone break into our home?  The door creaked a little as I opened it slowly starting to take a peek around to see if I could hear or see any one.  Before I was fully in the room someone grabbed my hair and yanked me in and threw me to the ground. My bags of groceries went flying from my hands and skidded across the floor.  I landed on my hands and knees and before I could look up to see who it was and I was kicked in the stomach.

    I fell over grabbing my stomach in pain when I heard a man's voice.  I know that voice.  It's Jamison!

    "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING!  YOU ARE NEVER ALOUD TO GO OUT THIS DOOR!" He was screaming at me and kicked me again in the back.

    I screamed in pain grabbing my back where he kicked me. 

    "I'm sorry!  I just wanted to" he cut me off before I could finish my sentence. 

    "I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT!" He grabbed my hair again and started to pull me across the wood floor.

    I grabbed my hair by his hand to help with the pulling, screaming and tears running down my face.  I was crying so hard.  The floor was not a good floor and I could feel my bare legs getting splinters as he dragged me across.  This was not a good day to wear a sundress. 

    "I CALLED HERE AND NO ONE PICKED UP!  I RUSHED HOME AS SOON AS I COULD ONLY TO FIND YOU GONE!" 

    I've never seen him this mad before. He dragged me into the bedroom, hitting the carpet, never slowing down.  Backs of my calves were getting rug burns I just know it.

    "WHAT WERE YOU DOING?? FLIRTING WITH OTHER MEN! I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!"

    "No!  I was at the market for food for supper!" I cried out but he didn't seem to care. 

    I could hardly breath, I as crying so hard. He let go of my hair and when he did I tried to crawl away from him.  As I was crawling away he came over and kicked me in the face.  I started coughing.  The pain that surged through me was almost unbearable.  I was coughing out some blood.  My nose was bleeding and I could taste the metallic taste in my mouth. 

    "LOOK AT YOU!  NOW YOUR GETTING BLOOD ON THE CARPET!"  There is nothing I can do right for this man. I can't even bleed properly with out him getting so made at me.

    He reached down and grabbed my wrist and squeezed tight.  It hurt so much for him to do that. It was the same wrist he grabbed that night at supper.  I still had bruises on them from the first time he grabbed me.  He pulled me up on my feet but I just slumped down.  I didn't want to go where he was taking me.  I was so frightened.  The look in his eyes looks like he could be on the verge of killing me.  I had no will to continue. 

    "GET UP!"  He yells at me again and the right side of my face gets back handed knocking me over to my side. My hands are hold me up while I spit out more blood that is pooling into my mouth. 

    He comes around to my back and grabs my waist.  For not being a large man he sure was strong.  It took nothing for him to lift me up and throw me onto the bed.  I heard his belt come undone.  I immediately opened my eyes to see what he was doing. Hoping that what I heard did not mean what I thought it meant.  My eyes went wide when I saw he was undoing his pants as well. I quickly tried to move away but he grabbed my ankles before I could get to the other side of the bed and pulled me back to him. 

    "This is your punishment!  This is your fault that I am doing this you cheating w***e!" 

    I don't know why he thinks I was out cheating on him.  I would never do that regardless of how abusive he has been with me so far.  That's just not who I am.  He took his belt off and grabbed my arms. 

    "NO! Please stop!   Don't do this! NOOO!"  I was screaming at the top of my lungs just hoping someone would hear me.

    I knew just what he was going to do to me.  He was getting ready to rape me. I can't believe this is what my life has turned into.  I fought the best that I could but he had that belt around my wrists so fast and he yanked it tight and secured it. 

    I still tried to wiggle away when he hit me with a closed fist right into my stomach.  Knocked the wind completely out of me. It was a long enough stall for him to finish removing his pants and shorts and already had his hands up my dress pulling my underwear down.  I squeezed my legs closed not wanting what was about to happen.  I'm crying, crying so hard I can't breath.  My eyes are so full of tears I can't hardly see. His hands go between my thighs and start to pull apart. I try with all my might to stop this. I try to kick him in hopes to knock him back but that didn't work.  That made him even more mad and since my legs moved a little he got on top of me and put his knees into my thighs to hold them down. He grabs my hands that are bound and hold them above my head.  He leans down to my ear and whispers

    "I'm going to f**k you so hard I'm going to ruin you"

    My eyes went wide I couldn't believe what I am hearing. 

    "Please don't!  I'm sorry!"  I start bawling all over again.

    The pain in my thighs where his knees are was hurting so much. I couldn't move.  That's when I felt it.  He took his other hand that he had free and used it to ram into me.

    "OOOUCH!" I screamed in between my cries.  He was thrusting so hard and so fast.  

    "YOU SHUT UP!  STOP CRYING!"  He screamed at me and put his arm on my throat. 

    I couldn't breath, I couldn't move. This is the end of me I just know it.  I struggle the best that I could.  The room started to go black as I could feel myself going unconscious.  Before I could black out he released his hold on my throat. 

    "I want you awake for this my dear." He said with so much evil in his voice.

    I was exhausted from the fight.  My throat hurt from screaming and crying and from his arm that I couldn't scream anymore.  I gave up. I just laid there while he did what he wanted. I let my mind travel to a better place.  I thought about my childhood.  The times I had with my parents.  Oh my parents, I'm so sorry.  Tears started to roll down the side of my face wetting my hair that I was laying on.  Will I ever get to see my family again or even talk to them again?  Was that phone call I did today the last time I will ever hear my mother's sweet voice?

    My mind came back to the present at the time he finished. He got himself dressed and I just laid there. I couldn't move.  My body just couldn't.  I could hear him walking around to the end of the bed. He put his arms underneath me and picked me up bridal style. I didn't even fight.  The fight was out of me by this time. He won.  He beat me, he raped me, broke my spirit and I had almost no will left to live. He carried me over to the linen closet we had laid me in it.  What was he doing? Why was he putting me in here?  He didn't even untie my wrists.  I was to weak at the moment to care. 

    "Maybe this will teach you a lesson baby." He said as with an evil grin on his face as he shut the door.  I could hear him moving something around out there and push something up against the door.

    I stood up quickly only to bang my head on one of the shelves.  I tried to open the door but it was locked.  I started banging on the door and screaming. I finally gave up when I didn't hear anything in the apartment. I think he left. I hear nothing out there, no talking, no TV, just nothing.  I sat back down on the floor with my knees pulled up to my chest and started crying.  Why is this happening to me!  I don't know how long I was crying or what time it was but I eventually fell a sleep in there.