You're my Muse, my Blue and Grey.

His lips trace the nape of my neck, his hands running down the familiar line of my back, making their way down onto my hips.

My fingers run thru the back of his hair, pulling at it slightly making him moun sofly into my neck.

This is our secret.

In a vast ocean of faces at a concert about 2 years back I met my match.

I was well aware of his status when we first met but the only thing I wanted was to be a part of him so bad that I left my whole life on pause to fulfill this madness of mine.

Thinking maybe he would finally after such a long time make our relationship public, I reached for his shoulders as I whispered

"Tae... My Parents are in town... Can we.."

His lips freeze on my neck, he pulls away and meets my gaze his hands stiff on my hips.

"Maya please..."

He says and I don't know why but this time it's like a lightning bolt hitting my heart.

He will never be able to go public with our relationship.

I push him away and jump of the kitchen counter.

Yeah... I am 5.6 and he is 6,3 so I can use as much hight as I can get.

I head for the room.

"Don't walk away from me Maya..."

Taehyung says behind me.

"O believe me it's the last time I will walk away from you ... Why keep me here when I have no other value besides being your pass time?"

I say with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

Taehyung is leaning forward on the counter his hands face down on the top his head hanging low as he speaks again.

"I know you want some type of security from me, something that proves that you are mine, but Maya..."

He says than looks at me.

"You know what can happen if we don't do this at the right time..."

I look at his face searching for anything to say he is being honest or maybe he is lieing but to be honest, I am so stuck in this world of make believe that I can't tell the difference.

"guess what... for once Taehyung... I think I am finally sober..."

I say as I turn again an walk to the bedroom.

I head inside and open the wardrobe, pulling out my suitcase.

I place it on the bed and Start taking my clothes from the wardrobe and throwing them into the open bag.

" Maya stop... Please... Lets just think about this... Please.. I promise..."

Taehyung said as he walked into the room.

I can't hear anything other than what my heart is screaming.

"HE will never love you for you and never will he let the world know about you, because you are just not worth it..."

I head to the bathroom and take my toiletries.

Taehyung wrapps his arms around me from behind locking me in place.

His head is in my neck.

" Please... Maya... Don't do this.. I... "

I tense up as I wait to hear those 3 little words for the first time but in the end he can't say it, because he doesn't feel the same as me.

I push him away from me and throw the last of my things in the suitcase.

I close the zip, grabbed the bag of the bed and pulled it to the kitchen, I grabbed my handbag and hoodie heading for the door.

"Maya if you walk out of the door today it's over... And you know me well enough to know when I am not just threatening"

He says with a sigh.

"Please... Stay... I won't ask again..."

I can't help but hate him right now.

"Goodbye Kim Taehyung..."

I say not looking back at him as I place the keys of the apartment on the table.

I open the door and walked out.

I walked fast at first, than slowed down maybe wishing he would come after me but when I finally reached my car the reality hit me hard.

He wasn't coming and it, this 2 year secret affair has finally come to an end.

I unlock my car and throw the suitcase in the back seat before turning back to look up at the apartment window.

The lights are on for a second and than off.

I guess it's goodbye.

I get in my car and drive of into the dark night, the moon at its brightest and the city light on either side.

The tears flowing down my cheek sting as they hit my tender lips which I have been bitting since I left Taehyung's apartment.

I sob as I drive, as memories fluid my mind, playing like a movie in front of my eyes.

"Beep... Beep... Beep..."

My gas meter goes of I look down at it and than back up just to be met with two bright yellow spot lights...

This was really goodbye.

Kim Taehyung

"joon please, I can't keep her in the background anymore, she deserves better and you know I won't ask this if I wasn't sure about her... Please just..."

"Tae, if you do this now, we are done... I can't let you ruin everything we have built just because you are under some stupid spell, and no matter what you say, I won't agree to this... Not now at least..."

Namjoon walks away from me once again.

In the two years I have been seeing Maya I have wanted more than anything to go public with our relationship but when I mentioned this to namjoon he always refused and today was no different.

But Maya isn't just anyone, she is my Blue and Gray.

I just hope she can be patient a while longer.