Bitter Pill(Undeserved)

CHAPTER 6* SLOPE OFF*

Three weeks into resumption and must I say again, I already wish so severely for the quarter to be over.

 Laying my head on the desk as I look out the window of my classroom, my gaze rests on the boys training on the school field. 

I have poorly tried to look away the first time, which I succeeded, but somehow my neck has a mind of it's. I soon find myself looking out the window once again, gawking at the shirtless Bryce who took it upon himself to jog around the field in only pants with sweat dripping down his bare chest and torso. 

 My eyes followed his every movement, and I would salivate every time he stops to take a drink from his water bottle wishing I was the water to quench his thirst. 

 I shake my head lightly to get rid of the sinful thoughts as I realised I was doing it again, giving in to the devil and his corrupt medium. 

I turn my head away from the window, pulling down my hood to cover my face correctly, and I closed my eyes in silent prayer for forgiveness. 

Bryce was the second boy that made me realise my attraction to the same s*ex at a very young age. His family lives a few blocks away from our house, and we attend the same elementary school.

I still remember those times like it was yesterday, Bryce being one of my closest friends, perhaps I could say my best friend at that time.

 Amongst our group of friends, I always had a knack for being around Bryce still. I would cry most days for my mom to permit a sleepover at Bryce house, saying I want to play video games with him. 

But as we grew up, I noticed It wasn't about the video games. I didn't throw those temper tantrums for video games; it was because I liked Bryce. I had a thing for him, a crush which at my young age, I didn't think it was possible to have romantic feelings for the same s*ex. 

I began to withdraw my self from him when I realised how my body would react when I am with him, the way his simple touches felt like sinful bliss on my skin, and how I craved more from him. 

After my 12th birthday and we boys went for a swim, I noticed how I kept gawking at all the shirtless boys and my heart palpitating at every movement they make. 

I would cry my self to sleep most times whenever I hear my parents talk bad on homosexuals, and how they are devils incarnate because I was slowly becoming the thing they hate. 

Slowly I withdrew from all my friends, thinking that would change my preference but it didn't though, I hide it well, and I try not to give in to what my heart and body want. 

But seeing Bryce or some boys in such states always remind me of what I am, devilish or not, and my crush on Bryce it is still fresh as ever and developed over the years, and I won't deny the fact that I have wet dreams about him.

  "That's the end of today's lesson, I would forward your project works to your e*mails, and I expect it on my desk next week Wednesday." 

  I hear our geography teacher announce, and in just two seconds, the classroom filled with the noise of desk and chairs scraping the floor.

Accompanied by the foot stump of students rushing out of the classroom like their asses were on fire. 

Usually, I would wait for the last of them to leave the classroom before packing my books, if I had brought it out initially for work and if didn't I pick up my bag and move out. 

It's either that or I get shoved this way and that way, while my classmates all try to pass through the doorway, despite knowing it can only take two people at a time. 

But they are high school students; teenagers don't make use of their brain when the need arises. 

I am a teenager also, but a smart one and I sure know how to make use of my brain. 

As silence engulfs the room, I pick up my bag dragging my hoodie down, I make my way towards the exit of the classroom, just one class till the end of the day so I can finally go back home to Jaidyn who as so far kept to his words, 

Although he leaves like every two or three days, he doesn't stay out more than a night, and It's because Skylar parents have been in and out of town due to Skylar's younger brother who according to Jaidyn caused a massive issue in his school.

  "Wait up, Reilly?" 

 My geography teacher calls after me as I opened the door,

"sir?" 

 I answered with a hint of uncertainty as I halted my movement and turned to face him. 

  "I need your e*mail; you were absent in class the day your mates submitted theirs."

 He says, and I nod, without saying a word, I unzip my bag for a pen and writing pad, I write down my e*mail address handing over to him silently. 

 "Are you sure you're alright? I noticed you slept all through the class you don't usually sleep in my class." 

Mr Stevenson says as I turn to leave and I closed my eyes instinctively already growing tired of his many words and attempts to get me to speak. 

  "I'm fine." 

I replied my voice barely above a whisper, and I step out of the classroom shutting the door behind me, without waiting to hear his response. 

I am not one for small talks, and I didn't exactly sleep in his class, I heard everything he taught word for word. I don't see any point in me staring at the board or taking notes when I already know everything he is teaching. 

That's the whole point of the school going on breaks in between school year.

So I can study ahead of time, and I won't have any reason whatsoever to interact with the teacher of anyone in the class, besides today I was more intrusted in lusting over Bryce shirtless chest than staring at the board. 

 I walked to my next class with my head down, and my bangs are covering my green eyes. Preventing anyone from seeing what it looks like behind the hood or hair. 

The week rolled away and slowly came the sixth week since resumption, with me doing what I do every other school day.

The midterm test was coming up in 2weeks, and I have been finding my self spending more time in the study at home, and it took me two weeks to finally realise Jaidyn hasn't been back home in a while. 

At first, I thought it was his usual, two to three days visit to Skylar's house, so I didn't worry that much, but two weeks later I noticed he has bee gone for three weeks. 

I did a simple maths on the last night I saw him, and how many days its been with no sign of him at home and I confirmed my theory when I walked up to his room and found most of his clothes and belongings gone. 

I was shocked last night when I made the discovery, and I have since tried to reach his number, but it keeps saying switched off. 

I sat silently in our living room staring at nothing in particular as I waited patiently for my parents to come home if anything they should know Jiadyn's whereabouts. 

It was a few minutes past 1:AM, and I know I should be on the bed sleeping, but I had to do this, or else my parents would be out of the house in the morning by the time I come downstairs for breakfast. 

My body perked up as I hear the sound of the car parked outside the house, and I knew my parents were finally home. 

I took a drink from the cup of water on the centre table as I wait for them to turn off the engine and come in. 

The doorknob jiggled and their voice filled the living space. 

"I don't understand why pastor Thomas thinks so highly of himself, he recently got ordained as an assisting pastor, and he is already acting like a province pastor." 

My mom says her statement directing to my dad, who clears his throat before giving a response. 

"Honey the likes of him thinks being a pastor is all there is to the work of God, being a pastor doesn't give a free pass to heaven, it all depends on how you serve the Lord and righteousness." 

Dad responds, and I scoff internally, what righteousness is there if they are both hypocrites and back bitters. I study the Bible enough to know what they are doing at the moment is called back bitting and a sin. 

"A deacon does more work than most pastors, yet some of them think they are above us, most of them aren't even as close to the general overseer as we are."

Mom says with a boastful tone and dad chuckles. 

"Our reward is in the Lord, my dear. He knows how many souls we've won for him, and He would reward us greatly." 

Dad says, and I rolled my eyes, what about the souls of your children that you neglect and leave to wallow in the shadows.  

"Welcome" 

I greet standing on my feet. 

"The Blood of Jesus."

Mom shouts, jumping on her feet as my unexpected presence startled her. 

"Reilly what are you doing up at this odd hour," 

Dad asks, scrutinising me with his eyes. 

"I had to ask you something, and you aren't ever home in the mornings." 

 I replied monotone, and I could see my mom eye me suspiciously. 

"What is it, as you can see we are exhausted and would like to rest in on time." 

Dad responds with no care whatsoever, and I fought back the huge to roll my eyes at him in all forms. 

"I haven't seen my brother Jaidyn for over three weeks, and I was wondering if you know where he might be. His line won't connect, and I don't know where to find him either, I was hoping you could tell me where he went. it's unlike him to leave the house without telling me." 

 I said in one breathe, which took a lot of courage to do, and I watched as my mom's eyes flickered from me to dad as I talked. 

They both shared knowing looks as they stay quiet for a while, and I feared something terrible might have happened to my brother. I hope not. 

"He called by one of the universities to resume early, and he left in a rush." 

 Mom answers her eyes glued on the wall behind me, and I stood speechless staring at them. 

Jaidyn leave for Uni? Without informing me, that's not possible wasn't he supposed to go next year. 

Last I remembered he had few months ahead before applying for Uni.

And he wouldn't have applied without telling me not to say leave the house without telling me either. 

"Do you perhaps have his new c*ontact number." 

I asked, and dad was quick to answer.

No, if that is all goodnight." 

Dad says his voice clipped and sharp. Did do something wrong by asking for my brother's cell number. 

I need to know why he thought it was okay to sneak out of the house without my knowledge when he knows I would be left alone with these unfit parents. 

I trined my body from towards the figure of my parents walking away without giving me any information on how to c*ontact Jaidyn. 

Did he get tired of looking after me? Was I too clingy? Did I perhaps offend him that he thought of punishing me by doing this? 

My mind filled with these thoughts as I walked to my room in despair and confusion.