Bitter Pill(Undeserved)

CHAPTER 3 *Birthday Breakfast*

 Summer break was almost over, and I have a week left to prepare myself for a new school year resumption.

By preparing myself I'm not talking about buying new pairs of clothing to show off, or the latest items that are on-trend, no that is not my kind of thing, for someone who doesn't socialise or talk to others that well, staying in trend wasn't a necessary evil for me. 

  My trend every new school year was to stay in the shadows as usual and I have been doing that well since freshman year, scaled through my sophomore day without being noticed or given attention by the teachers or students. I planned to keep it that way now that I was going to become a junior and also through senior year. 

 If I can make that happen, then I would get to graduate high school with none of its drama and without my secret out to the entire town, this being my number one reason for remaining in the shadows.  

   Having homophobic parents is one thing, and half of our town being homophobic was another. I have witnessed few cases where some kids were brave enough to come out to their parents about their s****l preference they were forced into a former marriage with a suitable partner the parents chose or better still disowned. 

  Most parents don't even do either of the two; what they do is nod their head as if they've accepted, then make their child live a living hell. 

Only a few parents accepted their kids, one I can still remember.

They lived in the house next to ours and attended the same church after their son came out.

They accepted him with open arms; it did not satisfy some of the town locals much.

They would abuse the boy and his family verbally, and eventually the couple had to move down to New York so that their son could live a typical day-to-day life without having to fear for his life. 

      My only choice, therefore, is to stay hidden or get sent out of the house, which I cannot allow at the moment, I have just Junior year, and Senior left for me. Hopefully, I may leave for college early because of my age then I would be free, and I already have my choice of college in mind, where I know I won't get looked down upon much for my preference.

  Jaidyn would be 22 soon, and our parents still won't let him leave until he is 23, which I find annoying, and I know Jaidyn doesn't like the idea either. Yet, he doesn't have much choice, and he can't leave on his own. Father and mother believes he has to stay home till he is 23 for him to learn ethic and also be spiritually ready for the outside world. 

 But I beg to differ because all I see is both of them always wanting to be the one who decides for us. Whatever they say is final, we don't get to argue with their final decision.

The last time Jaidyn tried to defend his opinion and wants,

I sympathised with him because he had to sit for 2 hours as they lectured him about how wrong his actions were,

then went on and on reading the scripture to him as they made bible references such as (Ephesians 6:1-3), (Proverbs 29:15) and many others to bolster their point on how wrong he was and the consequences of children disobeying their mother. 

    It didn't end there, though they went as far as asking him to kneel while they prayed for him. That moment and I was glad about my condition, If I weren't selective mute I knew I would have gotten into so much trouble with them, because I would do the opposite of whatever they say, just to get their attention. That they are rarely home and would only talk to us only when it concerns them didn't sit well with me, not for a minute. 

    I sighed as I stared at the red marked spot on the calendar which showed that today was my birthday, my 18th Birthday. I should be in my senior year right now, but I had missed an entire year of school because of my disorder.

I had to repeat Grade 8 after staying home for a year without going to school; the teachers soon became tired of me not responding in class, and the last resolve was to keep me back for a year. It should delight me, but I saw no reason for the delight of Joy.

It is just going to be like every other birthday I have celebrated without my parents being there even to say 'Happy Birthday son', not they won't.

They would be somewhere else holding Anniversary meetings, regional meetings, prayer warriors meeting. Mom would prepare her speech for the excellent women's committee of the church. Dad would be busy preparing for the excellent men's annual conference. 

    I am used to it anywhere; there is no point in crying over spilt milk. It is a known fact that I would never have my parents' attention no matter how much I need it, Jaidyn and I can never get it.

Hissing in irritation, I walked over to my bathroom to get freshened up and ready for another dreary day in my life as usual. 

   After bathing, I got dressed in a plain loose shirt and grey sweatpants. While I rummaged through my cabinet to search for my pen and glasses, I heard my door creak open, and Jaidyn walks in with a tray in hand.  

     "What did I say about knocking Big brother." 

 I said under my breath, cleaning my glasses. 

  "Why so uptight this early in the morning?"

  He asks with a chuckle, and I smiled small, I don't get how is always vibrant and carefree, but I appreciated him being that way because I can't imagine having someone grumpy and cold as an elder brother we won't get along. Jaidyn is just all definition of the words sweet and Kind. 

His carefree hippy nature made it one of the many reasons I don't find talking with him to be that difficult, and he seems to understand just simple gestures I make without me opening my mouth. He gives off this aura that makes me feel safe and comfortable around him at all times.

   "What do you have there?" 

 I ask him taking my seat on the wooden chair of my reading desk, Jaidyn smiles brightly, pushing my books out of the way and places the tray on the space on the counter.

  "Breakfast in bed, Handsome."  

 he replies and I scrunch up my nose, frowning 

   "What Am I, Your wife." 

 I ask, eyeing him, and he laughs. 

 "You wish, it's your birthday dumb, dumb or did you forget." 

  He says, and my mouth forms an oh, I didn't forget, how can I forget my birthday. 

   "No, I didn't, I'm turning 18 today isn't it high time you give up the breakfast in bed for birthdays thingy it's getting old you know."

   I replied, opening the lid of the tray. 

 "You should say thank you, big brother, you're the best, not nag me again, the only thing you do when you gain your voice is to nag me." 

    He says, and I smirk playfully at him. 

  "So you did it for the thanks, not because it's a special day for me how petty of you." 

   I reply, and he groans, his face concocting into a deep frown. 

  "I'll never win a fight with you will I." 

 He asks, and I chuckle. 

  "Never, don't even dream of it."

 I tell him, and he nods, sitting on the only sofa in my room. 

 "By the way, thank you, Big brother, your not just the best, you're better than the best, and I'm glad you're my brother and family, I love you." 

   The frown on his face softens, and it looks like he would cry anything. He gets up from the sofa and rushes over to me, engulfing me in a warm hug. 

   "You're going to make me cry, little brother, thank you for always giving me the chance to be a brother to you and I love you too." 

  He says sniffling, and I sighed, holding back my smile. 

  "Okay there, big baby brother, let's not get all mushy on me now, we've said the; I love you's can I eat now I'm starving." 

   I tell him, and we pull apart from the hug. 

 "Always an expert at ruining a pleasant moment did father and mother call." 

  He says, and I scoff, my stomach churning with dislike. 

  "I have a good appetite this morning, and I am also in a good mood, please don't ruin today for us alright, we both know they don't even remember that it's their sons birthday today." 

  I reply, and he sighs looking apologetic. 

 "I'm sorry Reilly, maybe they're in a prayer meeting or something, I'm sure they would call when they find the time, don't be mad." 

 He says, and I frown.

  "Don't apologise for them, and if you want to keep up the conversation about them, I might as well just go back to sleep." 

     I tell him monotone, and he shakes his head lightly. 

 "No. No, it's fine, eat your food, what do you plan to do after breakfast though." 

"I have to get to the library, another school year starts in a week, and I haven't completed the syllabus for the half quarter of Junior year." 

   " God, I don't know how you do it and don't get tired every day, thank the stars we have a library in the house, can't imagine you going to the community library every day to stay. Any way Skylar sends his greeting, and he wants us to go out later in the day." 

      Jaidyn says, and I nod, swallowing the food in my mouth before answering him. 

 "Okay, tell him I said 'hi."

  "he wants Us, you, me and him to go out together for your birthday, and don't even give me that look, I already told him you said yes, no backing out we are going, It's your birthday live a little man." 

 I don't want to go, but I owe them both that much, they've been the parent figure in my life. In contrast, my birth parents are always absent, Skylar is like that caring mother hen, like a caring mother that would still get their kids to talk and share what's wrong,

Jadyn is the overprotective dad, always worrying, always thinking he isn't doing something right for me, then calls mother Skylar to come to his aid. 

    I owed them a lot in my life.

 "Okay, I'm in but no dragging me to crowded places, I'm only going because I love you both." 

 I reply, and the frown on his face morphs into a gigantic smile. 

    "Thank you, Reilly, and I'll tell him to call us when he is ready." 

  "Okay, dad." 

 I replied as he exits the room, laughing.