1. Where is my Dad?
"I am really sorry for what happened Miss Lonedew," I apologized to the kindergarten teacher who was seated behind her desk, almost bowing my head in the process, my hands clasped together while my thumb scratched at my already chipped nails.
The forty something year old teacher continued saying.
"...I can't believe a little girl her age is being unruly, and violent even. You should have seen how the other kids were crying when they saw all that blood. No matter, she could have just reported to me and I would have taken care of it..." Mrs. Lonedew rambled on.
"As if," I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Please continue."
"Well I mean, why did she have to go and hit another girl? Now you are lucky the girl's parents are willing to let it go..."
"Of course they are," I muttered once again. Mrs. Lonedew eyed me suspiciously while I stared back innocently.
"Janet's parents are in the waiting room with her, you can take Symphony and go talk to them," Mrs. Lonedew said dismissively before getting up and leaving the classroom.
I turned my head towards the back of the classroom where Symphony was quietly seated on her bench, her head down.
"My Sim," I called out to her, but she wouldn't even look up.
I sashayed between the benches until I reached her desk, reaching down on one knee, I grabbed her face with my hands and raised her head.
Symphony looked at me, her eyes teary, which made my heart ache.
"I am sorry Mommy, Because of me, Mrs. Lonely shouted at you," Her lips quavered and I quickly hugged her as she sniffled.
"Shhh. It's okay Sim. It's not your fault," I used my thumb to wipe away the tears on her face. "But Sim, why didn't you tell me your friend was calling you names? I would have talked to her parents and taken care of things..." I said in a low tone, consoling my daughter.
"I-I couldn't tell you because you are always so busy with work. And when you come back home you you are always so tired. And t-today, I wanted to play with Janet's Luna doll, but she said that you and I are patety because you didn't buy me my own Luna doll, so I punched her teeth..." Sim cried out and my fists clenched in anger.
"I am so sorry for not being a better mommy," I whispered, getting teary myself.
Because of this life we are living, I am too busy working to spend enough time with her, yet I can't even get her the doll she wants to play with.
"I understand that it's not your fault Sim, but but you can't hit anyone ever again, okay?" I said and Sim nodded. "I hear that Janet's gum bled when you punched her in the mouth, so we have to go and apologize to her and her parents, okay?"
"Okay," Sim nodded, getting up from her seat. Taking her hand in mine, we walked out of the classroom and went to the principal's office.
Walking in, the principal, Mr. Homer was sitting behind his desk while Janet and her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Crane sat opposite him.
The three gave us a hostile look as we walked in, while Mr. Homer had a warm gaze.
"Come in Miss Jackie, and Sim," Mr. Homer beckoned us.
"Yes Mr. Homer," Sim answered softly, her head down as opposed to her usual robust nature.
"Where is the father? I am talking with the girl's father." Mr. Crane chose to speak out, foregoing all courtesy, not that the situation called for it.
"Miss Jackie is a single mother, did you not know that?" Mrs. Crane said in disdain.
My mouth opened in astonishment but I let it slide.
"I am Miss Jackie, Symphony's mother, if you have anything to say, you can say it to me," I responded, staring Mr. Crane in the eye squarely.
"Let's all calm down now and do what brought us here," Mr Homer interrupted. "I know that Symphony and Janet are friends so let them apologize to each other and be over with it."
"My daughter is apologizing to one here!" Mr. Crane said and his wife nodded vigorously. "That mannerless girl was in the wrong here for hitting my daughter so she and her mother should be the ones to apologize."
"Mannerless?!" I scoffed.
"More like callous," Mrs. Crane spoke out. "My daughter bled and lost a tooth because your daughter hit her."
"She only bled and lost a tooth because she is loosing baby teeth like all five year old do!" I said, enraged. "And your whiny brat of a daughter should have known better before calling my daughter names over a stupid doll."
"Your daughter doesn't even have said doll you call stupid. Oh wait! She doesn't even have a father to buy her one," Mrs. Crane said and I gasped.
"You did not..."
"Enough now!" Mr. Homer said sternly. "How can you act like this in front of your kids? Let the kids apologize to each other and be done with it."
Suppressing the urge to cuss out at them, I turned to my daughter who still looked timid. "Sim, say sorry to her okay?"
"I am sorry," Symphony said and the family all looked smug.
"Your turn now," I said to the the three of them, but they pretended not to hear.
"As I said, my daughter did nothing. So she has nothing to apologize for," Mr. Crane stated.
"Your daughter kept calling my daughter names!"
"Well, kids can't help but notice when things aren't normal. But it's not her fault, it's the adults who decided to live their lives carelessly."
"You know what,"I took a step forward angrily. Mr. Homer must have seen what I was about to do, because before I could open my mouth and say my mind, he stood up.
"The kids," he reminded me. I looked at my daughter who didn't deserve to witness any of that, so instead I gritted my teeth.
"Come now, let's go home Janet," Mr. Crane grabbed his daughter's hand. "Your daddy is going to buy you some ice cream, you hear?"
"Yes Daddy," Janet smiled at her Dad and the family of three strutted past us and out of the principal's office, ignoring us.
"It's Alright Miss Jackie. You are better than that," Mr. Homer said reassuringly.
*
On the way home, while holding Sim's hand, my heart felt heavy seeing how sad she was. My usually talkative child who would walk and jump energetically has been reduced to being quiet and feeling sad by those...
My thoughts were interrupted by my phone ringing from my purse. I took out my phone to see my manager from work calling, but before I could answer, Sim spoke.
"Mommy, are you dropping me off at Nancy's to go back to work?" Sim looked at me her blue eyes looking forlorn.
"No," I found myself saying just as I put the phone on silent mode. "Mommy is going to spend the rest of today with you. And not just anywhere. We are going to the amusement park!"
"Yay!!!" Sim's face immediately lit up as she jumped happily, followed by a happy dance. "You are the best mommy," she gave me a thumbs up, and seeing her like that made my heart warm up and I forgot everything else.
*
As I promised, we spend the rest of the day at the amusement park. Upon entering, Sim wanted to try everything including the snacks, games and rides. At first, I was happy to watch do everything she wanted, but Sim wasn't satisfied with just that, she wanted me to participate on every fun with her, and I couldn't say no to that face, but right now, as we got off the bus, walking back through the streets to get back home I couldn't keep my eyes off the screen as I kept looking at the numbers.
"What is it Mommy? Are you tired?" Sim caught my attention. I looked at her and she had a cheeky grin, one hand hugging her new doll as she trotted energetically, obviously not tired from all the fun we had.
"How could I ever get tired from having fun with you?" I managed to put on a smile. Sim looked satisfied as she nodded and kept walking ahead.
I let out a sigh.
Even if I wanted to cheer her up, how could I forget our situation and spend so much in one day forgetting that we have only's worth up groceries left? And the rent! Oh no!
"I can't wait to tell my all of friends tomorrow," Sim said excitedly.
"Oh yeah?" I engaged her seeing how happy she was. I also put my phone back and paid all my attention to her.
"Yeah. Mandy said her Dad always takes them to the park after he picks her from school," Sim continued.
"Of course he does," I nodded, beginning to notice that her steps were slowing down.
"But Mommy,"
"Yes dear. I can see that you are getting tired. We are almost home. Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Mom where's my dad?" Sim stated, catching me off guard. I stopped in my tracks, as Sim stared at me, all the innocence and playfulness gone from her eyes. My heart sank deep into my stomach as I felt like I was being interrogated.
"I, You, Sim," my words choked in my throat as I felt my eyes began to tear up. Even though this question was inevitable, I didn't expect it to be so sudden like this. But looking at Sim who continued to stare at me mercilessly, I knew I had to say something. But I can be able to tell her the truth?
No, I had to come up with something.
"Sim, your Dad is..." I didn't get to finish my sentence when I was suddenly interrupted by men coming out of the shadows, and not only were they looking at is, they seemed to be walking towards us.
I tightened my grip on Sim's hand and looked around, but the street was surprisingly empty, but I had been too tired to notice.
'These men have nothing to do with you. They don't even look like thugs, they are probably just passing by, right?'
Much to my fear, the men came over and circled us.
"Mommy, who are these people?" Sim asked and I could feel the fear ijn her voice.
"Don't worry Sim, I'm sure they are just passing by," I told her, ignoring my own fear, and just as I was about to carry her, the circle parted, making way for a man, whom I never thought I would ever get to see again in my life, or so I thought. And not only was he walking with his own two legs even though he was using a walking stick. He was also holding one of the biggest Teddy bear I have ever seen in my life.
"Hi Jacqueline," he spoke out. His voice, and the name I have not been called in forever, sent shivers down my spine.