How To Love Dmitri Donovan

Chapter One: Guilty Pleasure   Three years, I’ve kept my identity from him. Knowing that if I indulge my name on his life, things would change. Drastically. Forever. I’ve been looking at him from afar — most of the time, secretly, without him noticing. May pagkakataon din na lumalapit ako. But I don’t have the guts to introduce myself to him. Torpe? Nah. That is not me. Wise? Pretty sure, yeah. Unlike others, I made my decisions clear and have been thought thoroughly. My mind is like a lesson plan. Plinano ko na lahat ang hakbang na gagawin ko. Time and momentum cannot be repeated nor does have a rewind button na kapag nagkamali ka ay maaari mo pang balikan at gawin itong tama. You can always look back but surely, you cannot live the same momentum and time anymore. And for me, I don’t make mistakes. Because I think thoroughly. Donovan’s don’t make mistakes. I cleared my schedule today. Marami akong nakatambak na meeting at gagawin sa kompanya — well, most likely ay may pipirmahan lang akong mga dokumento. Kasalukuyan akong nakaupo sa pinakadulong mesa ng pinagtatrabahuan niyang pastry shop. His work here is all around — literally. Kahera, janitor, baker, chef, guwardya at kung anu-ano pa ang kinukulang na trabahante dito sa pastry shop ay siya ang pumapalit. I know every single details of him. Even the shampoo he is using, the smell of his tothbrush and how soft his skin is. I have intels digging about his past and their family history. Boring. Wala akong nakauha na anomang excitement upon hearing the story of his life but I know his weaknesses and fears. And I know one day, for sure, magagamit ko ‘yun to manipulate him. But for now, I’ll act like a sheep. A gentle one. Until I’ll make him dance in my own palm. And he would not notice that I am a wolf, hiding in sheep’s clothing. Madilim na sa labas at kaunti na lang kami na customers sa loob ng pastry shop. Kain ako nang kain ng blueberry cheesecake and to tell you the truth, it is delicious and nearly tastes like heaven. But… sumasakit na ang tiyan ko kasi kaninang umaga ko pa ito kinakain. I mean, from morning down to evening, blueberry cheesecake lang ang inorder ko and a pitcher of water. At the age of 45, I never thought I would feel something like this again. Akala ko I’ve had enough and I won’t be attracted to someone anymore. I’ve been married for twenty-eight years, and I know, that there wouldn’t be a twenty-nine years celebration of our marriage. Within that marriage, it was perfect but just don’t look behind curtains. Trust me, she even lost counts how many mistressess I had. I was unfaithful, rude, unappologetic husband to her. Kagaya nga ng sinabi nila, masarap ang bawal… And I am not afraid to lose her, anyway, it was just an arrange marriage, I love her but just… for the sake to quench the hunger of my body. For her to carry my seed and produce my little Adam’s. Nonetheless, all I showed her was fake, not even genuine. I am happy that we raised twelve kids together. And my eldest is the most I am proud of. His name is Ramiro. Alam kong darating ang araw na papanaw ako. At sa kanya ko ipapasa ang aking trono. He’s the image of my youth and the image that everyone should fear and bow down to. Just like his dad, me, Dmitri Donovan. And Gio Brooks — he is my guilty pleasure. “Waiter!” ang pagtawag ko sa kanyang atensyon. Dali-dali siyang lumapit sa akin. “Yes, Sir? Is there anything I can help you with?” tanong niya. Napatitig ako sa kanyang mapupulang labi. “Nothing… for now,” sagot ko sabay tayo sa aking upuan. Inobserba niya ang mesa ko. “Kamusta po ang blueberry cheesecake namin, Sir? Mukhang nagustuhan niyo po ah? Nakailang serve kami sa’yo kanina,” mahina siyang tumawa. I know he is trying to make conversation with me. And I am honored to chat with him for a little bit longer but time is running, and things should be done in according to the time I planned. Napasulyap ako sa relo, it’s almost eight in the evening. I should go. “Yeah, masarap ang blueberry ninyo,” kinindatan ko siya kasama ng aking pag ngiti. Binunot ko ang aking wallet sa likod ng bulsa ng aking pantalon. Kumuha ako ng limang libo and handed it to him. Napatitig siya sa aking kamay na nasa kanyang harapan. “S-Sir? Para saan —” “A little tip from me to you. I enjoyed your blueberry that much,” nakangiti kong saad. “Ta-Talaga po?” hindi makapaniwala niyang tugon. “Yeah. So, here you go,” ipinaraan ko ang aking palad sa kanyang likuran at ipinasok ang aking kamay sa bulsa ng kanyang pantalon sa likod. Sinadya kong pisilin ng mahina ang kanyang pang-upo. Malambot ito at matambok. How would it feel if Giou would bounce on my lap?  “Keep up the good work,” tinapik ko ang kanyang balikat at lumabas na ng pastry shop. Kaagad akong pumasok sa aking kotse. Pinaandar ko ito at ipinarke sa unahan ng ikalawang kanto. I saw the man I hired to execute our plan. And what I need to do is to make it realistic for him to believe in me. Plinano ko na someone will fake a rob to him — of course! Hindi siya masasaktan. If he’ll be robbed, eeksena agad ako to save him and bam! He owe me one! Easy as pie! I know he can’t fight. Gio is not that type of person na basagulero. Hindi nga niya alam manakit eh! Manuntok pa kaya. Gio’s heart is genuine and pure. Perfect for my devilish and dark desires. Dalawang minuto na lang ang hihintayin ko bago magsimula ang plano. But first, I need to make a call to ensure that things are going safe and smooth. *phone rings* “Hello —” “Make sure na hindi siya masasaktan kung hindi ikaw ang malilintikan,” pagbanta ko. “Ye-Yes, Sir. A-Alam ko po —” “Good,” Pinatay ko agad ang tawag. I have fingers all over the city. Connections here and there and everywhere. Pasasaan pa at naging Donovan ako. No one can shake me neither one can tame me. Lumipas ang dalawang minuto at narinig ko ang mahina nilang boses sa malayo na nagpapaalam. Lumabas ako sa kotse at minanmanan si Gio na mag-isa na binabaybay ang madilim at mausok na daan. Napangisi ako. “Holdap to! Huwag kang kikilos!” itinutok ni Brandon sa tagiliran ni Gio pero malakas na umalingawngaw ang siren ng mga pulis. Napamura ako ng mahina sa ere. “s**t!” kasabay ng pagsuntok ko sa bintana ng aking kotse. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang duwag na si Brandon na mabilis na tumakbo papalayo. Hindi ko marinig ang mahinang pakikipag-usap ni Gio sa mga pulis pero batay sa aking obserbasyon, he is narrating what happened to him. Pumasok ako pabalik sa aking kotse at pinaandar ang makina. Hindi ko na alintana ang tumutulo na dugo  mula sa aking kanang kamao matapos kong basagin ang bintana ng aking kotse. “One of these days, Gio. I will be your new shelter,” I love you, Gio, and I can’t help my desires to change my love into obsession. And I, Dmitri Donovan, will be your psycho lover.