Torn Between Souls

SPARK

Warm, and cold. Warm and cold. I just wanted it to end. I felt Matteo’s arms leave me, replaced by a pair of thinner, less comforting arms.

“Can you hear me, ragazza? Can you open your eyes?” Marianne’s familiar voice said in the darkness.

I ever so slowly began to pry my lids open, the light shot into them, and I cried softly, but finally opened them, taking in Marianne’s creased face above me. She looked at me, a bit confused before she shook it off, and she gave me a sad look.

“You’re a nurse, ragazza, you know we need to clean you up. Do you know anything about the extent of your injuries, before I begin?” she asked softly.

I went to nod, but could hardly move, “I-I’m pretty sure I have at least one broken rib, on the left side. That arm is also broken, I think, and the shoulder is dislocated. I…”

I trailed off, closing my eyes, “She whipped my back. And she...I think she burned me…”

Marianne’s eyes were fierce, and she shook her head, “You are so brave, ragazza. I’ve drawn you a bath. It will hurt.”

I nodded, and slowly, softly, Ada lowered me into the full tub. I coudn’t help it, I let out an ear piercing shriek. Dark spots bloomed in my vision, and the last thing I saw was the red tinged water around me before I blacked out.

-----

“We’ll be coming there…” a warm, husky voice chirped.

“Yes, she’s okay. Still unconscious. She blacked out when my mother’s help was washing her of the...blood…”

A pause, and then it continued.

“Three days. I will have her call you when she is well enough, before we come…”

Another pause, this one longer.

“Yes...I’m- I’m sorry. I thought she would be safe here...she will be happy to see you.”

Once more, and then, “Goodbye.”

I heard a soft sigh, and then a warm hand, gently cupping mine. I felt stiff, but I wanted more contact. The tingles, and the heat spreading up my arm felt incredible. I wanted more. Instead, the hand let go, and I whimpered.

“Rose?” the same, warm, husky voice said, and I felt fingers on my cheek.

Matteo.

I pried my eyes open. The room was bright, light streaming in from the tower windows above me. I blinked a couple times, and Matteo’s concerned face emerged above me. I couldn’t help but smile. Though he looked disheveled, and concerned, he was still the most striking man I had ever seen.

“M…” I tried to speak, but I was parched.

Instantly Matteo held a cup of water to my lips, and I took a small sip, then another, before I tried to grasp the cup, hissing when my arm protested.

It all came flooding back to me. Seda. The pit. The fire in my back.

My mother.

I whimpered softly, and I felt tears spring into my eyes. I wasn’t sure if I should even tell Matteo about what my mother had told me. I decided to keep it to myself for now. That there was a different person out there that I was mated to. I felt like I had just gotten him back. I felt like we were just on the edge of being truly together. Selfishly, I wasn’t willing to give it up.

I felt his fingers trace my cheek, a whisper escaping him, “We don’t have to talk about it, principesa.”

I nod softly, and meet his eyes. I see him inhale sharply, and he smiles at me. An ear splitting, bright smile.

“What?” I ask, my voice hoarse.

“Mio fiore…” he trails softly, holding my eyes, “You came back to us...different. Outside of your injuries.”

I frowned softly, shaking my head. Matteo seemed to understand and left the bedside, before returning with a small, handheld mirror. He held it out to me, and I gently took it with my good arm.

I inhaled sharply, just as Matteo had. There was a large bruise along the right side of my jaw, and a split in my lip, but that was not what startled me. My normally streaky, orange, red, and brown hair, was a bright, fiery red. The color of fresh blood. A startling red that shone brightly. My unruly curls fell in almost perfect coils around me, despite a few strays. My skin was clear, and bright. Not a blemish to see.

And my eyes, were a starting, dark gold color. They were sharp, and clear. Bright. I looked like myself but..different. Suddenly my cheeks flushed. Who was I? Would Matteo still care for me the same?

“Do you...li-”

“I love it,” he whispered, cutting me off, “Don’t dare ask such a foolish question. I feel like I’m seeing you for the hundredth time and the first time every time you look at me.”

I blushed and nodded, before Matteo placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Marianne brought me a tray of broth, and warm, buttered bread, as well as my favorite tea, while Matteo outlined the injuries I had sustained. I had fractured a rib on the right side, as well as sprained my wrist, and broken my radius. I had deep bruising all the way down my leg and thigh, my hip sustaining the worse of it. I suffered from 6 open lashes that Matteo reassured me would heal, but when he told me about the burn on my back, I almost threw up the small amount of food in my stomach.

“The pattern is interesting,” Matteo said in a hesitant whisper, “It almost appears as if she cut your back, about an in cut along your spine and then she-”

“She burned me. She was trying to take my magic,” I mumble, closing my eyes as the painful memories rolled through me.

I knew without the morphine running through my drip, I would be in significant pain now, but not anywhere near as bad as when Seda was performing it. The pain I felt then was like no other. It felt like my very soul was being taken from me. Since she was trying to take my magic, I guess in many ways that was exactly what she was doing.

“Your magic?” Matteo answered, and I could tell he was trying to connect the dots.

“She killed my sister. A wee babe. My twin sister. She stole her from my parents, thinking she was the only baby, and she flayed her, like she wasn’t just an infant,” I shuddered in disgust, fighting the urge to vomit as tears ran down my cheeks, “My parents were witches. Powerful ones and...and she took part in killing them too. She is working with the werewolves. There are others too. They killed my entire family looking for the magic and...and it’s all in me.”

We were quiet for a moment as I stared at my hands. I wiggled my slender fingers, ignoring the sobs trying to break free of my chest. I was terrified of this realization. Vampires and witches already were not fans of eachother, and now I was telling him I was powerful in ways I couldn’t understand, or even fathom. I was being hunted for powers I couldn’t even control.

Powers I didn’t want.

I didn’t ask for any of this. I wasn’t asked if I wanted to be orphaned because of magic. I wasn’t even born before people began trying to hurt me. And now I was dragging Matteo through it too.

I didn’t realize I was sobbing out loud until I felt Matteo’s strong arms pulling me against him as he laid in the bed next to me. He shushed me, and stoked my hair until I had called down some. My eyelids were heavy.

“Was,” he said quietly.

I looked up at him, confused, and saw his eyes hard, and dark. Anger swirling there. His jaw was tight.

“Seda was working with the weres. I killed her,” he said darkly, and a shudder ran through me as he clutched me tighter, “I didn’t protect you. I-I let you get hurt. And I was not going to forgive her for what she did to you.”

I was surprised when hearing that Seda died- no, was killed- that I didn’t feel any remorse. I was glad. A part of me wished she had suffered. My sister suffered. My mother and father suffered.

“Good,” I whispered, and Matteo c****d an eyebrow, “If you hadn’t, I would have.”

Matteo paused, and then darkly chuckled. He continued stroking my hair, my eyes growing heavier and heavier.

“When you are better, we are going to go to your aunt and uncles in Pennsylvania,” he said suddenly, as he brushed a few strands of hair from my face, “They...know Rose. They know who you are . Wanda is a witch too,” he said quietly, and his voice was cautious.

My eyes shot open, my brow furrowing, “What? W-Wanda?”

Matteo didn’t say anything for a moment as I felt all the conflict pulsing within me. My aunt and uncle knew, and they didn’t tell me. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t hurt but...I also understood.

“They were honoring my parents wishes,” I said softly, letting myself relax into Matteo again, “Matteo, I need to ask you something.”

He made a quiet noise, letting me know that was fine. I thought back about my mothers words. He was the key to all of these locks. He was the answer. He was the reason all of my magic was coming out of me. Coming back to me. That’s what she had said, that they changed all the locks for him. Our destinys were bound together.

But then the fear gripped me.

I couldn’t lose him. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to tell him...anything. Instead I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be soothed. There was time for questions. There was time for unraveling. Right now, I just needed to be next to him. I fell asleep, a peaceful, quiet sleep in the arms of Matteo.

I spent the next week and a half almost constantly in bed. Matteo almost never left my side but to take a few phonecalls. I mostly slept, but I also read, and we talked about his teaching days as well. He said they were short lived because of how many people were drawn or afraid of his vampire aura. Marianne fed me, plenty. My meals had quickly gone from simple broth and bread, to full spreads.

I was healing well. I still had the cast on my arm, and that would likely be there for a bit longer, but my ribs were more of an ache, and only pained me if I moved to fast. Most of my bruises and cuts had healed up. There was a tiny scar on my inner bottom lip where I bitten it, but it was hardly noticeable. The bruising on my hip was still blue and purple but I could at least move my legs. The lashes I took from the whip were healing nicely, but the burn still had to be redressed once a day. The painkillers I were on were mild. I chose to feel the pain when Matteo or Marianne dressed it, which he hated, but I wouldn’t budge.

However I was sick and tired of sitting in this room. I wanted to go out. To do something. To walk around further than being helped to the bathroom, or study but Matteo wasn’t having it.

“Matteo, please, “ I whispered, “Please, let’s go outside. I missed Christmas, and New Years. I need to get out of this room before I lose my mind.”

“Rose, we cannot-”

“Please,” I whimpered, nuzzling my face into his shoulder where he was holding me, “Let’s go to the garden.”

I felt Matteo stiffen, and I moved slightly to look back at him. His eyes were unbelievably dark, “Why would you think I would let you into the garden,” he hissed.

“Because we can’t avoid the garden forever. And I love it there, Matteo. And you’ll be with me,” I said firmly.

He was quiet for a few moments, and then he sighed, “I’ll be with you.”

He almost seemed to say it more to himself then me, and I smiled. I knew we were going. He didn’t let me get my way very often, but when he did it was more than worth it.

I slowly pushed away from him, and swung my legs to the edge of the bed, lightly pushing myself off. I was wearing a pair of silk pajama pants and a matching camisole, my sling holding my arm in place against my side. I tensed slightly as the balls of my feet met the floor, but I stretched, and adjusted my weight slightly to account for my aching hip.

I looked over my shoulder. Matteo’s face was sullen, and concerned, but I flashed him a bright smile, and the corner of his lip twitched, before he got off the bed as well.

“I’ll have Marianne come to help you dress,” he said warmly, as he headed towards the door.

I watched his shoulders roll under his dark t-shirt as he stretched slightly, and I bit my bottom lip. He hadn’t touched me since the night before I was kidnapped, but I ached for it to happen again in a way I couldn’t understand. He wouldn’t even kiss me on the lips.

“Don’t,” I responded quickly, before he could reach the doorway.

He seemed to turn around in slow motion, his emerald colored eyes locking with mine. I saw his lips move slightly, but then falter, and before he could say no I continued.

“Matteo, you can just help me, there's no reason to bother Marianne, she’ll be busy with the shopping soon.”

Matteo’s eyes darkened, and he hesitated for a moment. I took two careful steps towards him, and shrugged lightly. I bit my lip again, and looked away. He was going to shoot me down. I felt like I was somehow walking on eggshells but like I also needed to be a bull in a china shop. Neither seemed to work.

I suddenly felt Matteo’s fingers on my chin, and he lifted my head to look at me. His eyes were dark, but there was a soft smile on his lips. There was an emotion on his face that was hard to place. Almost...surprised?

“I will help you change into some warmer pants, but I’m going to have to bundle you into a sweater and your coat without removing this lacy camisole or else I may not be able to resist myself, do you understand?” he asked in a low, husky voice.

I felt a blush spread across my cheeks, and I pressed my thighs together softly, ignoring the pain in my hip, and Matteo’s eyes darkened. I knew he could smell me, and I blushed further. I gave him one quick nod, and he brushed a kiss along my forehead, before stepping away and towards the wardrobe.

He returned and set a few garmets on the bed beside me. I stood in silence, quaking softly, as he paused, before hooking his thumbs in the waistband of my silk pants and then slowly pulling them down my legs. I stepped out of them and he removed them, before he slowly trailed one hand back up my leg. His cool fingertips paused as he reached the bruising. I looked down, and his face was sad again. He traced the various irregular shapes that made the bruises that were patchworked across my hip and thigh.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled softly.

I was surprised. I c****d my head softly, and reached down with my good hand to run my fingers through his hair, “It’s not your fault, Matteo.”

All evidence of the dampness between my thighs is gone. I feel the weight of the emotions flowing through Matteo as if they were moving through myself. He looks up at me briefly, and his eyes are the lightest I’ve ever seen them. Almost jade instead of emerald. He leans forward and places a soft kiss on my mid thigh, before gently resting his head against the same spot.

I feel tears form in my eyes, “Matteo.”

“Shh,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible, “Just let me sit here for a moment.”

I nod softly, and sink my fingers into his hair. One hand stays in it’s place and the other gently plays with the waves there. I close my eyes, a few tears leaking out. We just sit there for awhile. Matteo ocassionally grazes his fingers over the sensitive skin there.

Finally, the position became a bit cumbersome for my leg, and I had to shift my weight again. Matteo pulled away, and without a word, he helped me step into a pair of soft, black, trousers, buttoning them before he stood and began helping me pull a tan sweater on. He proceeded to begin settling the wool coat over my shoulders when I finally spoke.

“Matteo, it’s not your fault.”

He looked at me, and gently cupped the sides of my neck, reading my face. His eyes traced me from scalp to chin, before he met my eyes again.

“I’m going to ask Marianne to take you to the stables with Carlo. I don’t want you in the garden without me, but I have some work to do,” he said firmly.

His voice was warm, but certainly guarded. I shook my head confused. I felt tears coming up in my throat, but Matteo just shook his head, tucking a stray red hair behind my ear.

“Please don’t, Rose,” he said quietly again. He brushed a soft kiss against my forehead once more, and skirted out of the room without looking back.

I shook my head in disbelief, tears in my eyes again. What had just happened? I tried to flirt first, then caused an intimate, yet sad moment, and now Matteo was here, but not. Separating himself from me again. I sat down on the bed and groaned in anger. I proceeded to lay back down, frustration growing inside me.

Marianne entered the room, floating as she and Elisa did.

“I don’t want to go outside anymore, Marianne,” I said quietly, “I’m sorry Matteo bothered you.”

Marianne c****d her head, “Why on Earth not, ragazza?”

I just shook my head, “I don’t understand why he keeps doing this. Why won’t he just talk to me? Why can’t we have a decent conversation!”

I met Marianne’s eyes, “Marianne, I don’t know if I can handle him disappearing again.”

I felt the tears falling, and it looked like her head was going to explode. She tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and smiled softly.

“I’m going to make you some tea, ragazza, to help you relax,” she suggested, and I nodded, “Why don’t you call your aunt and uncle? You’re leaving in three days.”

I shook my head. I had been refusing to call Wanda and Roy since the first day he had asked me if I wanted to. I wasn’t sure of where Matteo and I stood. I had thought things had resolved but...clearly not. Wanda and Roy were the very last family I had, and I hadn’t brought a boy home before. Ever. I loved Matteo. He said he loved me but here he was, holding me at an arms length just as before. I was over it.

Marianne left and brought me tea. I ended up trying to lose myself in a good book, before Marianne’s sleepy blend lulled me to sleep. It was a restless sleep without Matteo there. A piece of me was missing.

MATTEOPOV

I was sitting in the main library, elbows on my knees, and a glass of scotch in one hand. Even the burn of the gold liquid wasn’t enough to remove the scent of Rose from my throat and nose.

Why did she have to be such a tempting creature? I’ve been working so hard to limit the touching, the kissing after she spoke out against me at the castle, and she continued to test my limits. What was this woman, my beautiful mate, my Rose trying to do? Asking me to help her dress? If she wasn’t so injured I would’ve taken her right there, buried my nose in her most scented of places, and tasted the honey waiting for me there. I almost did until I saw the blooms on her pale flesh.

The bruises, her arm, the dressing on her back, all a constant reminder of the horrors I had allowed her to face.

I heard the clicking of heels, and turned my head, seeing Ava walk into the room. She had stayed once Rose had returned, sitting with her at lunch sometimes, and bringing her new books from outside of the libraries here. They had truly kindled a friendship.

I nodded to her, but I saw anger flash in her eyes. Before I could grasp the movement, Ada slapped me across the face hard enough to make my head jerk, which was saying something.

Anger flared in me and I grabbed her wrist, a hiss escaping me as I narrowed my eyes at my adopted sister.

“Che cazzo c'è di sbagliato in te?!” I growled at her.

I allowed her to yank her wrist away from me, “cosa c'è di sbagliato in TE!?”

I narrowed my eyes further, and she put a hand on her hip, “I don’t know what you are doing to Rose, Matteo, but CUT! IT! OUT! You already shut her out once and she almost killed herself! She gets kidnapped, almost dies again, and I truly think, WOW, my brother, the enigma, has finally found a mate, and love, and he truly would do anything for this girl, and then you, you i***t! You start abandoning her again!”

I shook my head, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been at her side for over a week. All I want is her!"

She throws her hands in the air and shakes her head, before looking at me again, sternly.

“Do you know where your mate is right now, Matteo?” she asks.

The tone of her voice bothers me, and I feel a growl rumbling in my chest.

“I can tell you that she isn’t outside saying hello to the horses with Marianne. No, instead, she laid back in that bed you’ve had her stuck in for the last week, fully clothed, drank tea that Marianne brought her when she found her upset, crying, because you pulled away again. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out why, if you truly love her, if she is your mate, that you are continuing to act like an overgrown child,” she hisses.

My anger is bubbling rapidly inside me. I see red. She dare accuse me of not loving the soft, little witch upstairs? Of trying to harm her?

“You think I don’t want to be near her, Ada?” I roar, “ When I pulled her out of that god forsaken TRENCH she begged me, her mate, not to hurt her!”

Ada’s eyes open slightly, and her nostrils flare but I’m focused on her attitude, stepping towards her, my hands itching to wrap around her neck.

“Because I fell asleep, and she wandered into a garden in a home, in a home I wanted to be her home, in her mates home and she was kidnapped! She was beaten, burned, and tortured!” I continue to yell, my tone making Ada flinch in submission, “I let her get hurt, and she was afraid of me! I love her more than you can possibly wrap your head around, Ada, so don’t you dare accuse me of not ever again, or I will rip out your throat without another thought!”

I freeze. Too late, I smell her. Her fresh stonefruit smell hits me, and I’m already surrounded by it. I move my eyes over Ada’s shoulder, and see her there, her hair a fiery crown around her, her honey eyes rimmed with tears in a pair of crumpled black pants, and her askew sweater. Her lips are softly parted, her bottom lip trembling as she clutches her casted arm to her chest, her sling abandoned.

I look back at Ada, briefly, and a small smirk graces her face, and I growl, inching towards her again.

“Matteo,” she whispers from across the room and the growl dies in my throat, my eyes refocusing on her.

Her hair is snapping around her, like it does when she sleeps. I can tell her teeth are clenched now from the way she holds her jaw, and her eyes are bruning with anger. Her magic is practically sparking around her, and briefly I pray she doesn’t burn down the library with her fireworks.

"You should not have come down the stairs alone, Rose," I say softly, awestruck.

She quickly walks towards me, crossing the room faster than she is normally able. She comes to stand in front of me, and Ada actually moves away, as if she was stung by the pulsing heat, and electricity surrounding Rose. I am still held by her eyes. She cranes her neck as she gets closer.

“Kiss me,” she says, her voice full of emotion.

“You’re sca-”

“No!” she snaps, and the sparking gets worse, “No I am not scared Matteo! I need you to touch me! You and your touch is the only thing that keeps me sane! You told me it was the same for you, and yet you won’t touch me anymore. When you pulled me out of that...that hole, I thought you were Seda! I was out of my mind in pain! Now, god dammit, kiss me!”

I don’t hesitate, I cup her face with one hand, and tangle my other in her locks, before I press my lips to hers.The electricity surges for a moment, and then I feel it start to ebb, but she doesn’t allow the soft mouthed kiss I give her. She presses against my lips firmly, and flicks her tongue against my bottom lip, instructing me to open and her uncasted hand reaches up, and holds my head to hers, those pale fingers tight in my hair.

I part my lips, and my want for her takes over. My hand on her cheek moves down to her unburdened hip, and pulls her against me firmly. My tongue reaches out, softly caressing the tiny scar on the inside of her bottom lip. I know Ada has left, and I know Rose’s magic has faded, but I don’t stop, until she finally breaks away, gasping softly.

Her soft cheeks are reddened, and her lips are plump. Her eyes are soft, and her breathing is rapid. She meets my eyes, and shakes her head.

“Please,” she whispers, “Don’t leave me again.”

I caress her cheek softly, and shake my head, “I’m sorry, mio fiore, I don’t want to hurt you.”

She nods, and leans against me, her heart thrumming against my chest. I nuzzle my face into her hair, and we stand there for a moment. Together.