1. New York
... Haley POV...
...Saturday Night...
The bus was virtually empty; however, unexpectedly, I felt a presence next to me, to see a man sitting in the seat beside me. A sense of calm washed over me from his proximity. I turned around to see that virtually every row was still available, which made me wonder why he decided to sit next to me.
I felt him shift closer, making my mind swirl. I was nervous, but I felt an inner calm at the same time. It was hard to explain. I’ve never felt this feeling before. Never once has a person’s proximity made me feel calm. Not only that, but it just made me want to be closer to him. I was just unsure how to make that happen without looking like a complete i***t.
I wondered if he felt the same towards me. I stole a glance at him and felt my mind stop from the sheer presence of him. He was absolutely stunning. Wavy curly black hair, a chiselled jawline, deep green eyes. It was enough to make my panties wet.
I looked away, attempting to keep my attention on anything but him. However, it became harder and harder to avoid. I felt him even closer to me. His arm had now taken up the shared armrest and was resting partially on me. I looked over; however, he seemed unbothered by it.
I tried relaxing in my seat and felt my body subconsciously shift closer to him. My head was practically on his arm, but still, neither of us said a word.
My heart began to rapidly beat in my chest just by thinking of the man sitting beside me. I wondered why he hadn’t mentioned anything or even shifted away. Rather, he seemed just as content as me, or perhaps as if I didn’t even exist.
That had to be the reason. I’ve never been one to appear on other people’s radar; rather, I was more of the girl that tended to blend in with my surroundings. I wasn’t your typical hot girl, nor was I your classic geek. Rather I was somewhat in the middle.
So the fact that he hadn’t shown even the slightest bit of interest in me didn’t seem all that odd to me. I'm sure he probably hasn’t even noticed me, which is fine. Not to sound like a creep, but I wanted to spoil myself at this moment. I know it would have to end, but that didn’t have to be just yet.
The bus started moving, heading to our first destination. We travelled throughout the city, and I felt us become even closer at each stop. His leg had come in contact with my own. I felt myself melt from his heat. It was a strong and powerful heat. Not too hot, just perfect. Even though it was a nice day out, his heat seemed to relax me and feel even more comfortable around him.
My heart and mind were in battle with each other. My brain told me not to even flinch, in fear that he would shift away. At the same time, my heart told me to get closer. The negative thoughts in my mind were swirling like a current in the ocean. I was frozen in fear that this moment would end, not realizing that my head had moved closer to him, resting on his arm.
To my surprise, he didn’t react. He didn’t shift away or attempt to move me away from him. I was completely content in his presence—a feeling I’d never once experienced before.
The bus proceeded to travel to more locations. I found myself drifting off. I hadn’t even noticed my eyes had even closed until I felt us come to a sudden halt. So I sat up, startled, unsure of what had happened.
Before I could say or do anything, I felt the man’s arms wrap around my neck and pull me closer to him. I stopped and looked up at him. However, he merely smiled back at me and continued to pull my head against his chest.
I felt goosebumps crawl over my entire body. This was becoming to be too unreal. As if it was a dream. Cause no one had ever acted like this towards me before. I wasn’t your typical girl. I was more of a nerd and could commonly be found with my nose buried in a book. I loved reading, but I also loved sightseeing as well. I was always fascinated with architecture and interior design, which is why I became an architect.
Since I always had my nose buried in some sort of book, I never bothered to pay too much attention to my looks. Instead, I had more of a tomboy attitude towards life. I preferred pants over dresses any day and rarely ever wore makeup. I never really considered myself to be a looker. I was your classic 5’6” slim build girl, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. Like I said before- common. There were probably millions of me everywhere. The only difference is I’m sure the others are much more of a head-turner than I’ll ever be.
I’ve always been jealous of those that it came so naturally to. I always looked at them, wishing my life could be that simple. Past relationships had only ever confirmed my self-doubts. My exes were the first to tell me if they didn’t like something about me. Issues I didn’t even know I had, came to light, being the only thing I could think of.
Each time I felt more confident, my exes would give me another reason for why I should go back to the gym. They made me feel unworthy of them or anyone out there, which is why I stayed. Even though I didn’t feel as connected to them as I once had, they made me feel as though they would be my only hope to find love. That no one else could ever love me. I was unloveable.
It’s not that my personality was unlovable; if anything, I thought I would be the perfect girlfriend. Always putting my boyfriend on a pedestal, knowing how great he is, while not demanding anything from him or our relationship.
My looks, on the other hand, were my biggest clutch. I’ve become acclimated to feeling inferior to everyone around me. I wanted to hide from embarrassment. I never even bothered to go out of my way to talk to the opposite s*x, knowing that my chances of them becoming my boyfriend were slimmer than finding a shark walking on land.
I had a better chance to get struck by lightning, even though I lived on an island that rarely ever had lightning. Then to meet someone that wanted to be my boyfriend.
My self-doubts were all too consuming and had even grown to become debilitating, which is why I merely froze around this man now.
I decided I had enjoyed my fantasy enough, and it was time to shift back into reality. So I shifted my head up and moved away from the man. I didn’t even spare a glance, afraid to see the look of realization cross his face as I moved away from him. The realization that I was sitting beside him, and we had gotten quite close.
Instead, I decided to pay no mind to him. I wasn’t ever that lucky when it came to guys. I was used to being invisible to guys. No one ever looked my way. I would typically look away from those I felt attracted to. Knowing I would never be able to have a boyfriend like him.
I felt the man come closer and closer to me throughout the journey. His leg had moved directly beside mine, and his arm was practically on my lap. I looked over confused, but he offered a simple smile and then looked away.
I tried to ignore the feeling his proximity gave me but found it increasingly difficult to ignore. Our bus came to an unexpected stop, and I watched as the driver stood up and left the bus. I was confused but realized he must be coming back. We hadn’t yet reached our destination, so he would have to return.
The driver left the doors to the bus open. I reached into my bag, grabbing a pair of EarPods so that I could listen to music. Music had become my life. I’m typically always found with at least one EarPod in my ear.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Drifting off once again. I don’t know how long I had been asleep when I felt something land on my lap. My eyes bolted open, looking into the eyes of a dog standing in front of me—his paws on my lap.
I felt my heart sink. I was absolutely petrified. I had a bad history when it came to dogs and had been terrified of them since. This dog was also much larger than anything I had ever seen before. I was so afraid that I felt my blood run cold. I was frozen in fear, unsure of how to react. In my past, there was no right movement. Moving would only result in getting attacked. Remaining a statue was my best chance. I hoped that the dog would become bored and leave me alone.
By this time, I had completely forgotten about the man sitting next to me. He seemed to wave the dog off, somehow silently commanding him away from me. I didn’t think much about it, as I was still paralyzed by fear.
I hadn’t even noticed when the man shifted his arm around my neck and pulled me into his chest. His steady heartbeat and the absence of the dog slowly took me out of my trance.
I tried to shift away from him, growing increasingly embarrassed. However, he didn’t let me move. Instead, he pulled me closer to him.
I was beyond confused but didn’t think much of it. I felt my heart slowly calm in my chest.