By the time I woke up, my head was banging. The floor area my head was resting on was wet and I assumed it was my tears.
I sat up slowly, my face was swollen and I could feel it.
I got up slowly and got to my bathroom and turned on the light, I stared at my reflection on the mirror, I looked like a ball. My eyes on were puffy and red and my cheeks were swollen, I looked a mess.
I sighed as memories of earlier flooded my head.
At this point I don't think I can cry any longer. It's already done.
I stared at my wedding dress, oh how I dreamt of this day to come, it's my biggest nightmare.
And what pains me the most was that she was right, I would still go back to Alex if he knocks on my door and apologize, I will still love him because for some reasons I always believed he will change; that I could change him.
Obsession was cruel.
And right now, I just want you drink and sing and dance in a loud club and pass out on a couch there and wake up tomorrow morning and find out that today was a dream.
I stripped immediately and walked into the shower and spent over and hour in there just sitting in it allowing the water flow through me, no thoughts running through my head, nothing at all.
I got out and cleaned myself up and headed into my room.
I opened my closet and looked for what to wear.
I saw this pretty maroon dress that Tasha gifted me on my birthday, she told me it'll look pretty on me but then she knew my favorite color wasn't maroon, but she said that Alex would love it and so I took it anyways. Now I think of why she knew Alex would love it and how she knew it was his favourite color.
I pulled it out anyways, tonight I was going to be a long night.
I put it on and looked at myself on the mirror.
I picked up my phone and saw dozens of missed calls and text messages asking me where I was and if I was okay and about the wedding.
This was the biggest humiliation I've experienced, how are will I look at people and tell them that my fiance didn't show up on our wedding day because he was sleeping with the bride's maid who who was my best friend.
I picked out some nice jewelries and then put on a pair of heels.
The funny thing was, everything I was wearing, Tasha had gotten them for me, my literally surrounded her.
I looked at myself one last time on the mirror and then picked up my phone and then left the my house.
Time to go make bad decisions.
Today is my wedding night , And I'm going to live every moment of it.
*
*
My vision was blurry, but it wasn't because I was sad or depressed , it was because I was high as f**k.
I was surrounded with bottles and bottles of alcohol.
My world was crashing, but hey at least I got to have fun. I had danced with every man at the club Today, some wanted things to go farther but I quickly moved on to the next person, the only sad thing was that they all looked like Alex.
It was going to be humanly impossible to get over him, maybe it'll take a year or five but I just had to.
I felt this tall figure hovering over me.
I looked up and there was this tall 6'4 man standing in front of me. I could barely see what his face looked like because it was dark and my vision was blurry but I could tell he was good looking and he definitely didn't remind me of Alex.
"Is this seat taken?", he asked.
"Depends, why?".
"I'd love to spend time talking to someone as pretty as you are", he said.
"Alright", I slurred and allowed him take a seat.
"You stay around here?", I asked.
"No actually, I came in town for my brothers wedding, apparently it's been suspended so I just decided to go around town and all", he said.
What a coincidence.
"What bring you tonight all alone?", he asked.
"Oh well tonight was supposed to be my bridal shower ", I said really really drunk.
"Oh so why are you here all alone?".
"Well I just walked in on my best friend f*****g my fiance of like, 3 years and it's been going on for like a year now and I never noticed, and today's out wedding so yeahh", I said casually.
He looked shocked, "Oh, oh my gosh I'm so sorry ", he said.
"Oh it's fine, you know so I'm just living at the moment you know ".
We started talking about how men were scum and all and we talked for hours, laughing and giggling and talking about every.
He was very friendly and nice and hot and he even promised to kick Alex in the balls if he sees him in person just for me.
He was very attractive, he had dirty blonde short hair with this perfectly crafted face and blue eyes and this perfect body, he was really alluring.
I haven't been physically or sexually attracted to anyone in years but he was looking like a fine meal that I might just enjoy.
"I think that self esteem issues should be-"
"Can we f**k?", I don't know how this slipped from my mouth.
He looked taken aback a little.
"That I definitely wasn't expecting".
"What are you going to reject me? as sexy as I am?", I asked smirking.
Usually I'd never do this.
I'd rather chew a jean jacket than talk to a man talk less of asking him to f**k me, God I'm going to reject this in the morning.
"Oh c'mon, I just got rejected on my wedding day, are you going to reject me too?", I asked.
He smirked.
"Your place or my place?", he asked.
"You have a place here?", I asked.
"Hotel room", he said.
The worse part about all of this was I don't even know this mans name, he could be a serial killer for all I care but I want him tonight.
"Your place".