Is It Revenge Or Love?

Not a Good Idea

~Monroe~

I was expecting those questions, considering it'd been so long since we’d seen each other. Not only that, but I literally disappeared without a word. If she didn’t have those questions, that would be weird.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the onslaught of emotions that hit me just being in her presence. I thought that with high school having been long past, those feelings would have dissipated into nothing more than a mist that is easily swept away in the air. I still didn’t expect her beauty to hit me in my gut. Her movements, her smell, her looks… fu.ck! It’s all more than I care to comment on.

I close my eyes and breathe in an attempt to quiet my thoughts and get myself together. I’m here for a reason; I have a plan. I need to get in close so I can execute my revenge. I can’t let everything fall apart before things get started. “Are you okay?” I slowly open my eyes and let them rest on Jaylene.

Her demeanor is rigid, her hands resting on the counter but clenched. Her face is full of worry, which I find a bit humorous. “I’m good. Just enjoying the scents coming from over there.” I stretch my back and lean back a bit, resting my hands on the counter. “To answer your question, I came to see you. I wanted to catch up and see how you’ve been. It’s been a long while.” I notice her body relax slightly as she looks around the kitchen.

“The fact that I open the door to see you standing there, that’s wild. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. You up and disappeared out of nowhere.” I turn my head to the side, meeting her gaze.

“High school was pretty tough for me, as you know. There was an incident that was hard to get through. Once I did, I decided that I wanted to live for myself. I wanted to have good things and become somebody.”

“What happened?” I internally scoff, battling with myself. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I can’t believe she would ask me that. There has to be some punchline coming; this has to be some joke. She speaks as if she had nothing to do with the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. Every fiber of my being wants to speak out and make her accountable for her actions, but I’m fighting against that. I have a plan, and I need to stick to it.

The sound of the door opening and closing captures my attention. “Hey, girly! Who do we ha-” I turn, and my eyes settle on Amber Kavanagh. “Fu.ck me! Monroe fu.cking Rivers!” I smile and dip my head.

“Amber Kavanagh. You look really good. How have you been?” Amber walks up to me and stands next to me at the island. She looks between myself and Jaylene a few times before answering me. We engage in some small talk, interrupted by Jaylene clearing her throat.

“Uh, maybe you’d like to stay for dinner, Monroe. I made more than enough.”

“I’d be honored.”

~Jaylene~

Dinner was great. The three of us sat down with good food and a lot of wine, just sitting and catching up. We spoke about the things we’d been up to since high school, though Amber took center stage. I chimed in here and there but kept a lot of my past quiet. I don’t like talking about some of the things I’ve gone through, including my assault.

What I did notice but didn’t have the heart to comment on is the fact that Monroe left a lot of holes in his story. I still have no idea where he’s been or what he’s done all these years. I still don’t really know how he found me here. I can’t really complain since I’m keeping parts of my past to myself as well. “Well, I’m going to head to bed. It’s been a long day, and I’m beat.” I watch Amber hug Monroe and check the time on my phone. It’s pretty late, and I should get to bed too. I need all my wits about me to deal with these kids.

I stand up and grab my wine glass, walking to the sink. “I should probably get to bed, too. Thank you for coming by, Monroe. It was a pleasant surprise.” I turn from the sink and stumble backward. Monroe is so close to me, and I didn’t even hear him approach.

He reaches out and brushes some hair from my forehead. “It was great to see you, Jaylene. It’s been too long.” He steps toward me, and I instinctively step back. It isn’t that I have anything against Monroe; I just don’t trust myself right now.

Since he walked through my door, my body has been on high alert. To say that he’s aged like a fine wine is a severe understatement. The man is se.x in a bottle, and I can’t take it. Too many times through dinner, I’ve zoned out with images of his hands all over my body, his lips on mine and his… Well, I’m sure you can fill in the rest. It’s been a serious internal battle to act like a sane person and not some se.x starved bi.tch in heat.

His cologne is filling my nose and making my legs weak. I really need him to go before I forget about being a decent-acting woman. “I want to see you again. Can we make that happen?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” What the fu.ck did I just say? Shock flows through my body, and Monroe’s face mirrors the same shock. Yeah, I have no fu.cking clue what my problem is, but I said that.

Monroe leans in, and my hands snake behind me, anchoring on the sink. His lips briefly touch my cheek before he steps back. “I’ll be seeing you.” I watch him walk out of the kitchen and listen as the door opens and closes.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea?” Startled, I look up to see Amber leaning against the wall and looking at me. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I slap my hand over my eyes and groan.

“I have no fu.cking clue. I’m going to bed.” I walk past Amber, trying to figure out when was the exact moment that I lost my mind.

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It’s been two days, and I’m still gobsmacked at my interaction with Monroe. I really can’t believe that I told him no when he said he wanted to see me again. I can’t figure out what I was thinking. Of course, I want to see him again. Monroe River is sexier than he was in high school, and he was pretty damn sexy then. We didn’t speak a lot, but from what I can tell, he’s just as deep and insightful as he was in high school. Imagine a teenager who was able to see past his own petty wants and wishes. He could anticipate the needs of others, and he could see past the surface of many situations. He was a refreshing change from what I was used to and definitely made Deon seem like an insignificant child.

I sigh and roll my apple around on the desk. My mind has been plagued, and I swear I’m going to go insane. I’m stuck with thoughts of the past, events of the present, and dreams of the future. Everything is running together and overwhelming all of my senses. It’s a struggle to step out of my mind and focus on the task at hand.

Somehow, I get through the day without damaging any kids or myself. Nancy asked a few times if I was okay, but I didn’t really want her involved in this. I gather my things and step out of the building, looking forward to getting home and unwinding.

I look out at my car, and my breath catches. Leaning against my car is the man who’s been occupying my thoughts for the past few days. He straightens up when his eyes land on me. I watch him push off the car and straighten out his suit. He begins to walk toward me with a grin on his face. He stops in front of me, and I have to look up a bit because of his height. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’m not as go with the flow as I was in high school. I kind of don’t take ‘no’ for an answer when there’s something I really want. I also kind of asked Amber where you worked.” He steps closer, and my feet are glued to the floor. He looks behind me before letting his eyes lock onto mine again. “Working with kids, huh? You are definitely not what I remembered. Go to dinner with me.”