After being gone for a few days, phone getting blown up, text message after text, I finally got back to my old self where I wanted to go back home. Not just because Cynthia had told me the words I wanted to see but I needed to go back. I needed to be loved and be by my family.
But just seeing:
"Honey, I kicked out your father. I done what I should have done long time ago back when I caught him with your mother. Yes, I know its sad. But after what he's done to all of us and what he done to you of all people. Especially after losing your mother, you needed a parent in your life and I know I'm not your mother, but I've helped raised you and if your willing to come back you can. I won't be mad at you if you don't."
It hit the heart but I know its not her fault at all. She was more the victim as anyone of us. Her husband, the father of her children, doing them wrong all over again. Then placing his hands on his baby girl that looks dead ass like her mother.
I thought that was the problem, because I looked like her. Back when was little, my mother used to say I looked like him but the older I am getting, I'm looking just like her.
So as I am sitting on her bed, thinking what I should do next. Should I go back or should I just live on my own. I have my own house, my own car, and well the money is the issue. I mean I have money just not a lot and whether what happens with Cynthia and Mark, will I still get money.
As school started back up, I did go home for a few days to get some of my stuff all packed and ready. And I did go to school but just like before, I didn't pay any mind to it. Just long enough into have some decent grades so I can graduate.
Chris and Carlie tried to talk me out of leaving the house. But I told them, I had to and that their mother understood. They both hugged me and that whenever I needed help they would help me out no matter what. I smiled and nodded at them.
As well were on our way to the cafe to eat our lunch, Joey had ran up to me and hugged me. I laughed a little play it off. Joey was the best but there was only friendship.
I used to see him that way but he was more like a brother to me. On the other hand, Jacob had came over and moved Joey off of me, making Joey a little pissed off where Joey wanted to kick his ass. Jacob and Joey went to swing and well I went to stop it and got in the way of a pouch in the face by Jacob.
Chris and Joey were really pissed where they both went after Jacob. But I screamed at them to stop and ran out holding my face. Carlie followed after me to the girls bathroom to wash off the blood from my lip and nose. I was over getting hurt by men. But it was my fault getting in the middle of it. When I got out, everyone that was in the cafe was in the halls already and staring at me. I rolled my eyes at them all then yelled at them all.
"WHAT IS EVERYONE STARING AT! GET THE HELL ON WITH Y'ALL'S LIFE! GET TO CLASS!" I screamed out.
Chris and Joey came running over after that. Joey went to touch me but pushed him away. I didn't want him to touch me right now. I didn't want to look at anyone or even be touched by anyone right now.
By the end of the day, I went home right to my room and slammed the door. I fell on the bed crying myself to sleep. After a few hours, I woke up to Cynthia knocking at my bedroom door. I got up and opened it and let her in.
"What in the world happened to you?" She asked.
"Jacob and Joey. I tried to stop it and well this has happened." I told her as I went back to my bed.
"So this is why your principal had called about. She just told me that I should check up in you after something had went down at lunch."
"Yep. I'm sick of everyone putting their hands on me mom." I told her. Calling her mom after so long of her being like a mom to me. "I'm tired of being like this. Tried of not being wanted, being loved. I just want to die. I want to be left alone and just be,"
"No! I don't even want to hear to talk like that young lady. I should be happy you called me mom, but you saying you want to die is uncalled for young lady. I'm sure Jacob didn't mean to, he loves you. Or at least I think he does. Even though, I don't like him because he gets you high all the time. But were all young once and as long as you do it at home, or behind my back is fine. Its just weed ain't it?" She asked.
"Yes, maybe a few pills here and there. Just enough to take the pain away." I told her.
She gave me an ugly look. I could tell she wanted to yell at me some more but she bit her tongue. She wasn't like my father, she was the cool parent.
"I ain't gonna say anything. I done things before I met your father and had kids. I was a wild child in my late teens, early 20's. But once I met Mark, I cleaned up and married him and had a family." She told me. "Just don't go to far."
I nodded my head at her before laying it against her shoulder. Where she had hugged me.
About around the beginning of December, Cynthia had helped me move to my house. She told me she was gonna trust me at my age. She told me she didn't want me to go all crazy and be a hood rat and go crazy, having party's and s**t.
She said she was gonna check up on me every other day or 3 times a week if she can. To make sure I had everything. Only thing she wanted me to do was stay in school and on the weekends she wanted to see me at the main store to help out and work. And on the side, she was gonna put some money for me in a savings account for me to use when I needed and put some into a savings account until I turn 18 years old. Something her and Mark done for Chris and Carlie.
By the time I was settled with everything that I needed. It was time for me to do me. I was stocked up with food in the cabinets, the food pantry, the refrigerator, and the deep freezer that Cynthia got for me. She made sure I had everything. I literally had a whole new kitchen set, bathroom stuff, and bedroom stuff. She told me she took keep it all cleaned up and treat it as it was like I was still home, other than having "the help".
I made her the deal that if I couldn't handle it, I'll tell her and come back home. And if I could handle it, at least come by the house once an awhile.
After she left, I called up Jacob and told him what was happening and how it was gonna go. He was glad that I had my own place. And well that was a good thing and a bad.
He was there all the time and well we were always getting high. I hardly got up for school after the 4th day of being on my own. I would call school and tell them I was sick with the flu, and it was flu season since it was winter, being cold out all the time. But the good thing was Cynthia didn't check up me like she said she was. Well at least didn't come over. She just called. She told me that school called and asked if I were really sick with the flu. Of course she had told them yes. She always has my back.
"Thank you, yes I'm sick. Jacob came over to help take care of me. But trust me I'm fine. I'll be back at it in no time." I told her.
"Okay, good." She said. "Oh, Christmas Eve dinner is at 3 pm. Don't be late and Jacob can come as well."
"Sure thing." I told her and hung up.
Christmas Eve was just a week away and she was already planing ahead. But since Mark isn't there, she don't have a lot of help. And Chris and Carlie help when they can but do so much. And I try to just help myself when I can with a few fixes. But it don't last to long though.
Well here I leave a cliffhanger going on. I know its a weird crazy one but I want to see what y'all think until I write the next chapter for tomorrow or even Saturday. Depending which day I want to write on. But I might do a short Christmas Eve one for tomorrow then do a Christmas day one. I'll think about it and we'll see.
Just Marry Christmas Eve Eve lol ? its a reference from the TV show Friend's.