Facing Crossroads

III - Substitute

                                                                                         Shane

The Cafeteria was the least place I wanted to visit. Not only were my former friends hung out there but also because there were many too curious eyes. Chugging the last drop of the bottled mango juice, I saw Theo and two more members from Drama Society exiting the cafeteria.

One of them saw me and waved a hand.

“Hey,” I said, greeting them.

As they approached, I swallowed the last bit of food in my mouth.

“What are you doing all alone here in the grounds?” the girl asked. I think her name was Meryll.

“Having lunch,” I answered.

Theo looked at the unfinished sandwich on my hand. “Will that suffice?”

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Well,” Meryll chimed in and pointed toward Building C. “We always eat our lunch in Drama Soc room, you know. You’re free to join.” She had small face and big eyes and smaller than my 5’5” height.

Why is everyone so nice in that group?

“Yeah, come join us,” the other girl echoed.

Slowly, I nodded my head and trailed behind them.

Meryll was making jokes and Theo laughed, his voice infiltrating my ears. I wasn’t sure if it annoyed me or not, but I felt a sudden emptiness inside, making me miss my dad. He used to laugh like crazy over my absurd jokes as well.

As we reached the room, they settle on a long table and opened the food they bought from the cafeteria. At the corner of the room were the props I assumed they used from previous events and on the white board showed the schedule for the play’s rehearsals.

“Hey, Shane, is this your last year in Laroyo U, as well?” Meryll asked.

“Yeah.”

“Course?” the other girl chimed in, looking curious.

“Business Ad,” I answered. “What about you guys?” They looked younger than me, though.

“Theo and Jellaine are the only seniors, aside from you.”

I figured.

They ate their lunch while Meryll and the other girl, which until now, I couldn’t remember her name, talked about their cute professor in P.E.

“Why don’t we share,” I heard Theo said, nonchalantly sliding his small lunch box in front of me.

Looking at him, I started to refuse but he shook his head.

“It’s fine,” he cut me off. “Just make sure to bring lunch tomorrow.” He said. I know I shouldn’t feel awkward at all but I couldn’t help myself.

I briefly gazed at him, noting his charming side. “Thanks.”

****

Theo and I were in the library.

We were both using the computer, researching about different kinds of medieval swords.

“Shay,” he called out in a low tone. “Can you check if you could find any book reference in the shelves, please? And look for this novel,” he said tapping his finger on the computer’s screen.

“Alright,” I replied and was about to stand when I saw Sandra and Rocky at the back, not far from us.

Damn!

Theo raised an eyebrow. “Damn?”

“Did I say that out loud?” I asked, suddenly feeling dumb. My chest began to heave, bringing back unwanted memories from seeing them.

He smiled, and this time, it reached his eyes. “Well, loud enough that I heard. Is there a problem?”

Glancing to my old friend and ex-boyfriend’s location, I felt my cheeks heated.

“You okay?” Theo asked, looking concerned.

He then followed where I was looking at, trying to decipher what was happening. “Let me just get that book,” he said and stood up, not waiting for my answer.

I closed my eyes, drying up my tears. Maybe after all, my father was right, that I didn’t choose my friends wisely.

Not long after, I smelled a familiar scent, striking me.

“Shane.” It was Rocky’s voice. I knew it well. “Long time no see.”

When I said nothing, he knelt down, seeking for my eyes. I felt him nudged me and I hadn’t expected the contact to sting this hard.

“Just go away, Rocky,” I said, not looking at him, putting my pensive face. I heard him chuckle. His annoying low chuckle.

“You’re avoiding me for weeks now.” He lifted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “It’s not like I am the one who hurt you, babe. But whatever, I still want you.”

I shook my head firmly, freeing myself from his hand. It was the first time I cringe at his touch. “We’re over. Get over it.”

He let out a frustrated sigh and tried to hold my chin for me to face him again. I swatted his hand and stood up. “Will you just leave?” I emphasized.

Some students turned their heads in our direction. I heard the librarian hushed, reminding us to keep our voices down.

“What the f**k, Shane?” he hissed.

“Do we have a problem here?”

I turned around to see it was Theo. Rocky stood tall, measuring him.

Theo held his gaze, as if they were calculating each other and it was unnerving to watch them. When Rocky decided to leave, Theo threw me a questioning look. But he didn’t ask.

“Let’s go, we’re done here,” was all he said.

We were silent as we made our way back to the auditorium. It gave me time to hear my thoughts, once again asking myself if I did the right thing. Daddy would be proud, I know. He never wanted me to be with Rocky. I shuddered at the memory, remembering what Dad did to him.

****

Saturday.

Instead of walking my pitbull Cheerio, I found myself in the elevator going up the auditorium. I shouldn’t have skipped my Literature class.

“Shane, can you act?” Jellaine asked the moment I stepped foot inside.

That froze me.

“I’m desperate here,” she said, tone pleading. “Farrah is our lead character but she got injured yesterday during rehearsal. I badly needed a substitute. December’s just a month away and…” She bit her lower lip, her eyes seeking for my approval.

Nervous laughter came out from me. As much as I didn’t want to turn her down, I knew I couldn’t do what she was asking. “I… I really don’t know how to act.”

“I said the same exact thing last year,” Meryll said with confidence. “But I learn as we go on. You will too, Shane.”

Okay, dammit. This wasn’t the kind of catching up I had expected in order to pass my freaking Literature class.

“Look, guys,” I muttered. “I have some major subjects right now that needed attention as well. I can’t commit to replace Farrah as the lead character. I’m sorry.”

Jellaine’s hopeful eyes died right away. I felt guilty, really, but I really couldn’t bring myself to enter another situation that I wanted nothing to do with.

Silence chirped, nobody speaking.

“What if… what if you just read the script with us while Farrah’s recovering?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, relief washed over me. “I can do that.”

I exchanged lines with the group as they acted their role, giving their all as if we were on a live stage play while I stood stupidly in front of them. The story itself gave me goose bumps. Striping away the fantasy and magical part of the script, I had realized it was about a girl named Wendy trapped into chaos her family started.

Instantly, I could relate. It was as if seeing my life played out in front of me and I shuddered at the moment but kept my silence.

Once Jellaine shouted we should take a break, I headed toward the seats, approaching Theo and sat beside him.

“I feel so much reality in your script,” I commented.

He looked at me. “Thank you,” he replied and stopped typing in his laptop. “I’m actually watching you. I think you’re the best fit for the role.”

I laughed, crossing my arms over my chest. “You’re shitting me right? I’m not even a Performing Arts student, Farrah is.”

His eyes grew wide, obviously didn’t see my cuss coming. But he let out an amused smile. “I am not shitting you,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m serious. You should take the role.”

“I’m not good in acting, if you haven’t noticed.”

“That’s why we have a director to help you,” he argued. “And look, the script says ‘the girl named Wendy has soft wavy hair and warm eyes. She is good in hiding her true feelings blah blah’. See, you look like the lead girl.”

“I find that creepy,” I answered, scrunching up my nose. “It’s like you’re describing my face.”

Theo closed his laptop, biting back his laughter. “Maybe I did. Or not.”

“Theo!”

We both looked around and saw a petite girl half-running toward us. She had a wide smile and fair skin, her hair on a messy bun. She leaned down at Theo and planted a kiss on his lips.

Hell yeah. Didn’t see that coming. And I could tell, he didn’t see that coming as well.

Theo gestured on my direction, a warm smile on his lips. “Sandy, this is Shane, our newest member.”

Sandy turned to me and waved a hello. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Same here,” I replied, smiling.

Theo checked his watch and clicked his tongue. “I lost track of time. I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Sandy said and sat on his lap. “That’s why I came here to get you.”

They exchanged sweet looks and I felt awkward watching them. Obviously, she was claiming territory. I had seen it many times with Rocky whenever he felt threatened to a new guy in my circle. Yet sometimes he paid me no attention if it was just the two of us. Fortunately, Jellaine asked for us to resume the rehearsal so I bid them goodbye, not wanting to impose on their moment.

But, whoa. I thought he didn’t have a girlfriend.