Jane
Explaining death to four years olds is almost as difficult as watching Ethan muddle through the next few days in a complete fog, appearing more like a zombie than the man I know so well. Every time I tell the pups that Petra is gone and won’t be coming back, the message only seems to sink in for a few hours. Soon enough they’re asking me when they’re going to see Petra again, and I have to try to explain the concept of permanence to four precious beings who simply cannot understand it.
Still, watching Ethan is harder. We got through all the planning and preparations for a massive state funeral with great exhaustion and stress, but little emotion on his part. I keep waiting for him to break, to come out of shock and grieve the way he needs to so desperately. It hasn’t happened yet,
