Chapter 9
1559 Words
(Katrina)
I chewed my lip anxiously, looking through the dozens of scarves that hung in front of me as I tried to think of the one Gabriella would like the most.
None of them seemed good enough. The colors were all wrong, and nothing seemed to match my sister at all. But that's all she said she wanted. A nice scarf that she could wear when she takes the twins out on their evening walk.
Why did something so freaking simple seem like the hardest task in the world?
But then again, all of this was kind of hard. It's weird having a sister who actually likes you. Even though Gabriella and I only share a father, I feel this connection to her that I never felt with Cecelia, our old sister who perished in that same fire that almost took me.
Cecelia always expected the most extravagant gifts, and if you got her something she didn't like, she would take it as a personal attack and never let you forget it.
That's why I became so reclusive before everything. My only escape was social media. There I could make my life seem perfect. Every picture I took was a lie. And after the online bullying I did was leaked, I thought I had hit rock bottom.
Boy, was I wrong.
That was nothing compared to what Karma had in store for me. Some days, I feel sorry for myself, but then I remember all of the things Gabriella had to endure, and I know I deserved it.
That's one of the hardest things I have struggled to do. To forgive myself and realize that I have some type of purpose in life.
I thought I found it back in California. I thought maybe HE was my purpose. But it was just another nail in the coffin that Karma was ready to deliver.
Guys like Grayson Easton don't go for girls like me.
The old me, perhaps. But that Katrina Kensington died that day in the fire, and what was left were mere ashes. I am the shell of the person I used to be, and honestly, I'm okay with that. The old me was a royal b***h.
I'm trying, though. I'm trying really hard to get over that and to move on with my life. I hit the lowest of lows. I even attempted to end it all, only to be saved, and I'm not taking this second chance for granted. I'm just going to use it to make things right.
I promised Gabriella never to do something like that again. I promised him I would never do something like that again... Even if he wasn't in my life anymore. I want to keep my word. I know now the damage and hurt it would cause.
Since moving back to New York, I have been staying with Gabriella and her family at their new home. I have my own private section on one side of the hose, but truthfully, I spend most of my time with Gabriella and the twins.
I love being an aunt, and my nephews have actually been a huge part of my healing process. Not just mentally, but physically as well. Now that they are crawling around everywhere, I have been chasing after them, and my legs have actually healed up better than the doctors expected.
Daddy has been taking me to see a physical therapist, and we have also started an experimental skin regeneration treatment. It is one of the newer treatments that hasn't fully been approved by the fda, but the patients treated have seen incredible results.
Obviously, my skin will never be back to what it was, but a lot of the deeper burns on my thighs have become smoother and not as red.
I just know this is something I will live with forever, and all those dreams I once had of getting married and living that fairytale life seem further away than ever.
Who could love someone like me? No, it's not just that. It's deeper and more brutal than that.
How can I imagine someone loving me when the one person who I thought did lied to me... Then he just let me walk away afterward. I know he said he meant what he told me, but it's hard to believe that, especially now.
It was my choice to leave, which I'm glad I did. Because if I stayed, I probably would be pining over the guy as he goes on to find someone better. Because clearly, he only felt pity for me. I did him a favor leaving.
He hasn't even reached out once... All these months and nothing.
Maybe a part of me hoped he would ask me to stay. That he would fight for me. But then again, most of it was in my head, and his true feelings were much different than I took them as.
I just try not to think about it. But it's kind of hard to do that when I swear everything reminds me of him. And when I go out, I see guys that look just like Grayson everywhere I go.
It's probably just my mind playing tricks on me.
"So, did you decide yet?" Monica asked, breaking my trance as I blinked my eyes rapidly.
"I guess this one is nice. It just doesn't feel perfect." I mumbled, pulling a light blue scarf from the rack. It would make Gabriella's eyes pop even more, I just know it. But it's almost too blue if that makes sense.
"I think that one's beautiful." Monica agreed.
It's weird having a soon to be stepmom that's six years older than me.. I mean, I'm almost 24 now, but Monica does seem a lot more mature. Her and Daddy are going to have a spring wedding, and they are already in the middle of planning everything.
She makes him happy, though. Really really happy.
And I know she isn't after his money, at least, because I'm pretty sure she has more than he does.
"Okay, I will get this one for her then." I decided, holding the scarf in my silk covered hands as I finally made my decision.
"Did you find anything for the twins?" I asked Monica and went to face her when I suddenly stopped in my tracks, frozen.
Oh god, I knew this would eventually happen.
"Katrina? Katrina Kensington, is that you?" A guy suddenly asked. Not just any guy, a guy I went to high school with. He actually took me to prom.
Nothing ever came of it, I mean, we kissed maybe a few times, but other than that, we kind of drifted apart after graduating.
That's how most of my "relationships" were. I never went beyond heavy petting...and now I just might die a virgin at this rate. So great...
"Um Geo, hey." I mumbled, feeling my cheeks redden immediately as embarrassment flooded through me. I haven't seen a lot of people since moving back, and I hoped to keep it that way.
"You look good, Kat. I mean, I heard about the... accident." He said, making me stiffen as I saw his eyes drift up and down my body slowly. Like he was looking for evidence of the accident. Everywhere his eyes roamed, I swear my skin burned in response.
"I tried reaching out."
"Oh, yeah, I haven't really been on my phone much. Got a new number and everything." I said, feeling like I was ready to crawl back into the hole where I came from.
Reaching up, I nervously fixed my hair, trying to hide the scars on my cheek as Geo glanced towards it.
"Well, maybe I can get your new number?" He asked, causing me to glance towards Monica in a panic, realizing that she had a smirk on her face.
"My number?" I blurted, wondering if I was hearing things.
"Yes, your number, Kat. Maybe we can grab a coffee sometime. To catch up." He said, making me swallow hard as I felt my heart hammering in my chest.
Not because I liked this guy, but because I didn't know what to do. I felt this weird sense of guilt rising that I knew I shouldn't have as time seemed to slow.
Just as I was going to open my mouth to speak, a man in a security uniform walked up, making me snap my mouth closed.
"Sir, I'm going to need you to come with me for a moment." The guy stated gruffly, motioning towards Geo as he seemed just as confused as I was.
"Is there a problem?" He asked, glancing towards me as I watched his cheeks burn crimson.
"I'm going to need you to come this way, sir, so I can check your pockets before I can answer any more questions."
"My pockets?" Geo blinked rapidly, turning away from me before nodding.
"Yes, sir." The security guard answered. His tone was so serious that I felt like I was in trouble or something too.
"I guess I-I will catch you later, Katrina." Geo mumbled following the security guard as I watched him being taken somewhere else.
"Maybe they suspected he took something." Monica whispered, tugging me along as I just shrugged.
Whatever it was, I'm just glad I didn't have to give out my number...
- Writer
