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Chapter 24
24 Unlike Elijah, I don’t have to live with the dread of my infidelity being discovered or have to figure out how to tell the person I betrayed. Because God already knows. I wait out the worst of the storm and then drive the four-wheeler back in the wet twilight, wiping drizzle off my face, and trying to ignore the buzz of panic and shame everywhere in my body and mind. But nearly bigger than the panic—than the guilt, than the still-coiling lust—is a thought that won’t stop twining around my ankles and cinching around the organs in my chest. Elijah kissed me back. Elijah let me pin him against a wall and make out with him until we were both weak in the knees. I can hear the bells for vespers tolling as I unload the wood into Brother Andrew’s woodshed, stacking it the way he taught m
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