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16 Elijah isn’t at vespers or at dinner. I think he might be in his cell, but I’m not sure, because when I go into mine, there is silence from the other side of the wall. I walk to my window and stare out at the hill for a moment, and then at the cloisters soaking up the evening light, and back to the hill, which is lit with orange as the sun begins to set. The bells for compline will toll soon. I press my hand to the glass, as if I can touch the hill itself. I lift my eyes to the hills. Five years ago, I would have fought Elijah tooth and nail. I would be pounding down his door right now, demanding we either fight or f**k, the order wasn’t important. Five years ago, I would have said you’re goddamn wrong and would have conceded the point only after an adrenaline-filled argument o