Scifi Motherlode

The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake-2

Then, just as she was dropping a Sea Sprite packet into her hovercart and preparing to waddle off down the aisle, I spoke. The steady, smooth flow of my voice perfectly concealed the desperation and LUST that ruled my mind.

"I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, Lynda," I said. "It was never my intention to do so."

Lynda looked my way again, her expression softening just the slightest bit. "Well, that’s a first," she said. "I’ve never had a product apologize to me before."

"And I’ve never met a woman quite like you before," I said warmly. "I know you’re on a diet, but I’d still like to get to know you better."

Lynda flashed a glance up and down the aisle, as if making sure no one was watching as she had a conversation with a snack cake. Thanks to some skillful shopper redirection by Store, we were alone for the moment.

"Listen," said Lynda, lowering her voice though no one else was around. "Believe it or not, I appreciate the compliment. I guess that shows how pathetic I am."

"Not at all," I said, meaning every word of it. To me, she was anything but pathetic; to me, she was the most attractive and fascinating woman in the world.

"But there’s no way you’re going home with me," said Lynda. "We both know what would happen if you did."

"Not necessarily," I said. "Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to happen."

"Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it?" said Lynda. "I want something to happen. I’ve done without for three weeks, and I want you so bad, I’m ready to explode."

My mind was spinning as I heard her confess her desire for me. It took a major effort for me to concentrate on the delicate process of winning her. "You know, Lynda," I said softly. "I think I can help."

"Oh, really?" Lynda said with a smirk. "And how exactly will you do that?"

"What if I promised not to let you take more than a bite of me a day?" I said. "Just a few centimeters. Just a nibble, and then I cut you off. You’ll have a treat to help you get through the day, but you won’t fall off the wagon with your diet."

"And how will you cut me off at just a nibble?" Lynda said suspiciously.

"I’ll tell you to stop," I said. "I’ll scream, if that’s what it takes."

Lynda grinned and shook her head. "Even screaming won’t keep me from eating something once I’ve put my mind to it," she said. "Trust me on this."

"I still say the two of us can make it work," I said. "You don’t have to fight this battle alone."

"Listen," said Lynda. "You’re a snack cake. I’m a fat woman. It would never work out."

"Just give me a chance," I said, boosting the ultrachocolatey scent I was emitting. "You might be missing out on something wonderful."

Lynda’s eyes flared with a harsh glint. "You don’t understand," she said stiffly. "I’ve been hurt too many times. I can’t get involved with someone like you, not again."

"It doesn’t have to be like that," I said. "I won’t lie to you and say I wasn’t hoping for something more, but I’d be honored just to be your friend."

For a moment, Lynda stared at me, biting her lower lip. "TAKE ME," I wanted to shout at her. "I LOVE YOU! I NEED YOU! TAKE ME NOW!"

But I waited silently. I knew she was so fragile that one wrong word – let alone a desperate plea – might be enough to drive her away. I had done all that I could and now would have to accept the consequences, whatever they might be.

Unfortunately, it seemed that my hopes were doomed to be crushed.

"I’m sorry," Lynda said finally. "I just can’t. You’ll find someone else."

"No one like you," I said sadly as she turned away. "Promise me you’ll at least think it over."

"No, thanks," she said, moving down the aisle with her hovercart. "Goodbye."

I said nothing in return. Lynda had become so important to me, I could not bear to say goodbye to her, knowing the two of us would likely never meet again.

Despondent beyond belief, I sat there, letting my glow and fragrance fade away. My first love, the love of my life, the woman of my dreams, had rejected me. My dreams of passionately merging with her, of feeling those crimson lips close around me and those ivory teeth BITE into me, had been forever denied.

No snack cake, I was certain, had ever been so lonely and forlorn as I.

At least for a moment.

As Store eased my display back out of the aisle, my mind smoothly switched tracks, shunting from the loss of Lynda to consideration of another target. Lynda had been right after all; being who I am, I knew I would find someone else, and I knew I would give myself just as completely to that new love.

Imagine how surprised I was then when a miracle happened.

Just as I was about to realign the thread of white icing on my face to erase Lynda’s name, Store shot a flash-feed visual from buyspy into my video buffer. Even as the image burst into me, I could not believe what I was seeing.

It was Lynda, marching swiftly up my aisle, the hovercart sweeping along behind her.

Before I could fully process what was happening, she snatched me from the shelf, my wrapper crinkling in her beautiful, thick fingers. The next thing I knew, she was dropping me into the hovercart on top of a tub of tofu and a sack of grapefruit.

Abandoning my thoughts of finding someone else, I reactivated my bond with Lynda and exulted in the certain knowledge that our love indeed was meant to be. She had come back for me; there could be no greater proof of her devotion.

As I rode along in her hovercart, I knew what lay ahead...and it would be glorious. She might resist me for a while, hiding me in a cupboard or drawer, telling herself she would stick to her diet, pushing me away.

But in the end, she would surrender. It was written in the stars.

In the end, she would not be able to help herself. She would come to me, ready and willing, wanting me to do what only I could do for her.

And I would do it. Gladly, I would give myself to her.

"Thank you for coming back for me," I said as she placed a jar of wheat germ in the cart. "You won’t be sorry."

"I already am," she said, not looking at me. "I hate myself for this. I hate you, too."

Her words, sharp as they were, did not faze me. I knew what she really meant.

It is impossible for me to describe the state of ecstatic anticipation that engulfed me as I waited for Lynda to have her first taste of me.

That night, as she fixed and ate a salad, I watched from the kitchen counter in her tiny apartment and wished that she were putting ME in her mouth instead of the lettuce. Each time her plump, ruby lips parted, admitting another green forkful, I quivered with excitement in my wrapper, barely able to hold back from crying out for immediate consummation.

It only intensified my arousal that she had not hidden me away as I had expected, but instead had put me right out on the counter. Instead of whiling away the time in a dark cupboard, having to content myself with listening for her voice and movements, I was out in the open, able to see everything, able to be seen...and knowing that she would not have positioned me thus if she did not intend to devour me sooner rather than later.

And yet, I still had to go easy on her. Bruised and vulnerable, she responded well to patience and tenderness; it would be a mistake to exert any but the mildest pressure.

She was a skittish fawn in need of gentle coaxing. Never mind that I was more like a RAGING INFERNO in need of immediate QUENCHING.

As she carried her dirty dishes from the kitchen table to the sink, I caught her eye. Her gaze lingered just long enough to test my resolve to play it cool...but I managed with a mighty effort to keep from blurting out an insistent plea for love.

"How was your dinner?" I said instead.

Lynda snorted as she dropped her plate and silverware into the dishpan. "I’m sick of salad," she said disgustedly. "And tofu and yogurt and water and plankton snacks."

"But you should be proud of yourself," I said. "You’ve set a goal, and you’re sticking to it, even though it isn’t easy."

Lynda sighed. "I’ve really made up my mind this time," she said, filling the dishpan with water from the spigot. "I decided that this is it. Once and for all, I have to get my weight down."

"I believe in you, Lynda," I said. "I know you can do it."

"I wish I felt so confident," said Lynda, adding soap to the dishwater. "It’s just I’ve failed so many times before. I’ve been on lots of diets, and I’ve always ended up quitting."

"That doesn’t mean you won’t succeed this time," I said. "Forget the past. Look at this as a new beginning."

Lynda scrubbed a plate clean and slotted it in the dish drainer alongside the sink. "I want to," she said slowly. "I’m tired of being miserable. I’m sick of being alone."

"Surely you must have people who care about you," I said, enhancing my glow and aroma as I sensed her defenses weaken.

Lynda cleaned her silverware and placed it in the drainer, then headed for the table to get her water glass. "My parents are gone," she said sadly, giving me a look on her way back to the sink. "No brothers or sisters. I have a few friends here and there, but that’s about it."

"I understand," I said. "You want to be in love."

Lynda stopped cleaning the glass and looked over her shoulder at me. "Geez," she said. "I must be pretty transparent if even a snack cake can figure me out."

"Or maybe I’m just a really smart snack cake," I said. "Smart enough to see how much you have to offer, at least."

Lynda turned back to the sink and finished washing the glass. "If you’re so smart," she said, "give me a good reason why I shouldn’t say to hell with my diet and just eat you right now."

FINALLY, I thought. FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY she was READY to PEEL off my wrapper and PULL me INSIDE that magnificent MOUTH all WET and WARM and SOFT and CHEW AND CHEW AND CHEW ME until we two were inextricably mixed together.

Automatically, I brightened my glow and moistened my cake and heightened the shine of my frosting. The moment I had waited for was finally upon me, and my every dream and desire was about to be fulfilled and I KNEW it would be more wonderful than I had ever imagined.

And yet, even as every atom of my being vibrated with the thrill of impending gratification, I forced myself not to cry out in delirious passion. Remembering her shy and fragile condition, I reigned myself in, choosing a more subtle approach that I calculated would be more likely not to frighten her off.

"Well," I said, trying my best to sound like a supportive friend. "I guess the main reason would be that you want to stick to your diet."

"Right about now," she said, drying her hands on a dish towel as she turned to face me, "I don’t much care about my diet."

OH LYNDA, I LOVE YOU, I thought. TAKE ME NOW, I wanted to howl, but instead I said, "But you just told me how important it is to you."

TAKE ME NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!

"I know," said Lynda, "but just looking at you is driving me crazy. All I can think about is how good it would feel to eat you up."