His Sinful Duty [SPG]

(20) First Heartbreak

ELEAZAR SERGIO'S POV

"Young lord!"

Mabilis akong tumakbo atsaka tinakasan ang babaeng inutusang samahan at bantayan ako. I just can't believe my grandfather to order such command.

Ano ako, bata? Bakit kailangan ko pa ng yaya kahit na trese anyos na ako?

That's absurd.

Natigilan ako sa pagtakbo nang mahagip ng aking mga mata nag isang pamilyar na babae na nasa may di kalayuan.

I knew it, as expected. She's here again.

"Ana!" Lumingon ito sa aking direksyon dahilan upang magtama ang paningin naming dalawa.

I stare at her face for a while as I watch how her long hair swayed by the wind. The lady standing at the center of the pavilion is now looking at me with a flower in her hand.

"Elie?" She called, almost squinting her eyes.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito, Elie?" Tanong niya sa akin nang tuluyan na akong nakalapit.

"My grandfather brought me with him again. Ikaw, kasama mo rin ba ang mama mo?" She smiled at me and then nodded as a response. Pagkatapos non ay hindi ko na alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.

In the first place, I have no idea why I suddenly look for her.

Ni hindi ko nga alam kung bakit palihim kong hiniling na sana makita ko siya ngayon.

"Ikatlong pagkikita na natin 'to hindi ba?"

"Oo."

"Sa tingin mo may dahilan kung bakit tayo palaging pinagtatagpo?" Nakangiti nitong saad dahilan upang matigilan ako saglit.

My 13 year old heart suddenly skipped a beat.

Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong nahiya kaya mabilis akong nag-iwas ng tingin sabay hawak sa aking batok.

"I... I don't know, do you?" sabi ko atsaka palihim na napalunok.

My hands are sweating. What the hell?

"Haha, oo." Her little giggles made me look at her who is now looking at the flowers right in front of us.

Walang ibang tao ang naririto ngayon, kami lang. Ang mga tao ay nasa loob dahil sa party na nagaganap. And as usual, most of the people inside the party are adults and elderlies.

Wala masyadong mga batang kaedad namin ni Ana.

On our second encounter, it was a charity event. Both of us are wearing our casual clothes. And that second encounter was the best for me which made me want to see her more often.

Mula non, hinangad ko na sa tuwing sasama ako kay lolo, ay makikita ko siya.

At dahil din sa kanya kaya hindi na ako nagreklamo pa na isama sa mga ganitong klaseng party.

All was just for seeing her again.

"At ano 'yon?" Tanong ko sa kanya, hindi pinapahalata ang pananabik sa aking boses na sumagot kaagad ito.

Ana look at me and then flashed her ethereal smile that is out of this world.

It was too pretty.

"Kaibigan." She answered and my hope suddenly shatters. "Para mas maging close tayong dalawa at maging magkaibigan." She answered it innocently.

Hindi ako nakasagot at piniling mag-iwas ng tingin atsaka pinagmasdan ang mga bulaklak sa aming harapan.

Friends? I don't want to be friends with you, Ana. I want more of it.

Kasalanan ba na umasa ako nang higit pa don?

"Ana."

"Ano 'yon?" Kaagad niyang tugon matapos niya akong harapin.

"My birthday will be this Saturday; can I invite you?" I asked, hoping for a yes from her.

"Talaga?! Birthday mo na?"

"Yes, I'll be turning 14." Her smile at me grew even bigger.

"Sige, pupunta ako," aniya dahilan upang sumigla kaagad ako.

"You promised?"

"Oo naman!"

I spend the rest of the party with Ana. Hindi ako sumama sa lolo ko, I kept on following her and realized how the tables are turned.

Nong una naming pagkikita, siya ang palaging nakabuntot sa akin. She kept on following me around, sticking her nose to my business and doesn't stay away at least more than a foot.

Pero ngayon...

Ako na ang gumagawa non lahat.

Kausap ni Ana ang kaibigan ng mama niya habang ako naman ay nanatiling nakatayo sa kanyang likuran. I'm tall, so I'm sticking out behind her, making her mother's friend look at me from time to time.

"Kaibigan mo, Eve?" Aniya, tuluyan na akong tinaponan ng pansin.

"Opo, si Elie. Elie, si tita Marga, kaibigan ni mama." Pagpapakilala ni Ana sa akin.

"Hello, Elie, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you rin po."

"Kay gwapong bata...sinong mga magulang mo, Elie?"

"Danica and Sandro Montenegro." I answered and I saw how her facial expression changed.

Unti-unti itong napaderetso ng tayo sa aming harapan ni Ana. The wine glasses she's holding shake a bit which made her cleared her throat and fix her composure.

"D-Do you know Mr. Emiliano Montenegro?"

"Yes, he's my grandfather." Nang sabihin ko iyon, kita na ang gulat sa kanyang mukha bago ito mabilis na umalis matapos kaming bigyan ng isang pilit na ngiti.

My forehead creases as I watch her walk towards a man who I presume her husband.

"Anong nangyari? Ba't biglang umalis si tita?" Tanong ni Ana sa akin dahilan upang mapatingin ako sa kanya ng deretso.

Hindi ako nakasagot kaagad at piniling hawakan ito sa kanyang likuran.

"I don't know... umalis na lang tayo rito. I don't feel like staying inside this place," wika ko kaya kaagad niya akong sinamahan ulit papalabas.

I saw how the woman look back at me together with her husband.

Mabilis naman akong nag-iwas ng tingin atsaka tuluyan ng umalis sa party.

"Elie, ayos ka lang ba?" Tanong nito sa akin matapos umupo sa aking tabi. Ana and I are now sitting on a bench facing the garden where I first saw her earlier.

The woman's face bothered me for a while kaya bigla akong natahimik kasama si Ana.

"Ana, do you know something about my family?" I asked before turning my gaze at her. Pareho na kaming nakatingin sa isa't-isa ngayon.

Medyo natigilan ito bago umiling.

"Hindi. Naghihintay lang naman ako na magkwento ka tungkol don, aniya atsaka ako muling ningitian.

I love how she smiles at me like this.

"Do you... want to know about it?" I asked and she immediately nodded.

"Oo naman, magkwento ka dali. May kapatid ka ba?" A smile formed against my face when I saw how interested she's in. Pero kaagad din ito nawala nang maisip ko na baka mag-iiba din ang kanyang reaksyon pareho nong babae kanina.

But no... Ana is not like that.

I don't want to think bad against her because she's not that type of person.

"I have a sister, a younger one, her name's Elaine." Nagsimula na akong magkwento habang siya naman ay nanatiling nakatingin sa akin at nakikinig.

I love how I have her full attention, so I made sure to talk even more so she won't divert her gaze at me.

I want Ana to keep looking at me.

"And then my grandfather... he's Emiliano Montenegro." I was hesitant to tell her about that, afraid what would be her reaction afterwards.

"He's well... not that really a g-good person." Nautal ako kaya mabilis kong kinagat ang aking ibabang labi sabay hawak sa aking batok.

I do this when I'm nervous or shy. And this time, it's the former.

"Okay." Napakurap ako nang magsalita ito.

"Okay?" I said, repeating her word.

"Okay." She said it once again which made me blink.

Tuluyan ko na itong hinarap sa bench, making my torso twist a little more to the left and leaned my face closer to her.

"He's Emiliano, kilala mo ba siya? He did a lot of-- well, bad things. Hindi siya mabuting tao. He's strict, he's intimidating as hell, he loves to order around coz he's bossy, tsaka hindi siya marunong umunawa sa mga taong walang silbi sa kanya. He's cruel, kaya maraming tao ang natatakot--"

"Was he a good grandfather to you?" Ana suddenly cut me off which made me froze.

Was he a good grandfather? I blinked once again.

"O-Oo."

"How about as a father?"

"Oo."

"Marunong ba siyang umunawa sa'yo? Was he patient enough to you and to your sister? Good enough to make sure he can provide to your family? Dahil kung oo, edi hindi siya masamang tao."

Ana's words made me froze in my seat. The dark place seems to shine brighter this time as I stare at her face, who equipped nothing but pure kindness and beauty.

Her gentle voice brought my world into complete peace.

"Ganito kasi 'yan Elie, he might be cruel to others pero hindi mo ba naisip na baka defense mechanism niya lang 'yon? May mga tao kasi na kailangan maging masama sa mata ng iba para hindi maabuso ang kabutihan na meron siya." She continued, and I made sure my attention is on her.

"Kung ganon, sa tingin mo nagpapanggap lang si lolo?"

"Oo, pwede rin na ganon. We don't really know the answer unless it was coming from him." She smiled at me once again after saying those words.

I can't believe I found a girl like her.

Her words changed my perspective in just an instant. Nang dahil sa kanya, ganon kabilis nagbago ang pananaw ko sa aking lolo.

I used to hate him for being so inconsiderate, cruel, and unkind to others. Minsan na rin akong naging saksi sa mga nagawa niya, pero sa tuwing tatanungin ko ang sarili kong ama kung bakit ganon si lolo, he will always repeat these words:

"Your grandfather is just doing what he thinks is right, Eleazar."

What he thinks is right.

And that is to make sure no one will abuse him for the greater good of our own family.

He's a great person, but only a few can see that. And that 'few' is his very own family. Kami lang. At hindi niya kailangan ng opinyon ng iba dahil hindi naman sila importante sa kanya.

What's important is us. His family-- the Montenegros.

"Thank you, Ana," I said, showing her a warm smile that I hope she finds pleasing.

Nakita ko kung paano ito natigilan pansamantala atsaka ako binigyan ng isang matamis na ngiti. She looked away with a shy on her face.

And when I saw how her cheeks turned rosy, something within me suddenly wanted to do something.

"W-Wala 'yon, minsan na rin sinabi sa akin ni mama ang tungkol sa mga ganyang klaseng tao."

Nanatili akong nakatitig sa kanya habang nagsasalita ito nang hindi man lang ako nililingon.

All of a suddenm I reached my hand towards her cheek and made her face me

"She said to always hear both side of the story, hindi lang yung opinyon ng isa. Tsaka isa pa--"

Hindi niya natapos ang gusto nitong sabihin nang tuluyan kong inilapit ang aking mukha atsaka ito dahan-dahan na hinalikan sa labi.

She froze on her seat when our lips met for the very first time.

Ninamnam ko ang malambot nitong labi ng ilang segundo habang nakapikit. Ana didn't push me away, instead she kept still as I move my lips gently.

Kinakabahan ako dahil ito ang unang beses na ginawa ko 'to.

It's my first kiss. My first kiss that I, myself, initiates.

Is this also your first kiss, Ana?

I kissed her deeper this time, slightly opening my mouth. When I taste her cherry flavored lip, it made me crave for more. Naramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa aking braso habang hinahalikan ko siya.

"Ana..." I whispered brushing my lips against hers and holding her face closer to me.

"... I like you." I continued and kissed her once again.

This time, I felt her mouth opened a little bit and kissed me back. Something within me burst and all of a sudden, my feelings towards her rushed like wild wave on the sea.

Here on this single bench under the night sky, I kissed Ana.

I kissed my first love.

"Eveion?"

Bigla kaming natigilan nang may marinig kaming pamilyar na boses sa may di kalayuan.

"Eveion, nasan ka? Uuwi na tayo, anak!"

Ana pulled away immediately and searched where the voice came from. There was a protest in my eyes when I saw her stood up from the bench.

"S-Si mama, hinahanap na niya ako Elie," aniya habang ang kamay ko ay nanatiling nakahawak sa kanya.

Ana looks down at me and froze when she saw my face.

Hindi ko kailangan ng salamin para malaman kung ano ang hitsura ko. For I know how red I am because of kissing her.

Nang masaksihan niya ang mukha ko, kaagad din itong namula atsaka mabilis na napahawak sa kanya labi.

I smiled a little when she also blushed.

I kissed her and she kissed me back.

This is for sure the best night of my life.

"Eveion! Nasan ka na?" Her mother's voice echoed the place.

"K-Kailangan ko na talagang umalis."

"Wait." I stood up, still holding her hand. Pinisil ko ito atsaka siya tinignan sa mata. Her slightly rosy cheeks made her look more beautiful.

Ni kahit mga bituwin sa langit ay hindi papantay sa kagandahang taglay niya.

She shines more than them tonight.

"My birthday, please be there." I said. "Pupunta ka naman diba?"

"Oo, hindi ko 'yan kakalimutan." I made a downward smile and nodded at her several times like a pup wagging its tail.

"Hihintayin kita," sabi ko habang unti-unting binitawan ang kanyang mga kamay.

Ana is walking towards the voice as he looks back at me with her arms extending at my reach.

"Ana, maghihintay ako," wika ko ulit sa kanya habang pinagmamasdan itong unti-unti ng tumatakbo papalayo sa akin.

"Ana!" I called her name, and she looks back again.

She waved her hand at me and smile.

A smile so precious to me.

"Dadaating ako, Elie! Pangako!"

Her words made me the happiest that night. Dahil nong umuwi ako, baon-baon ko parin ang ngiti sa aking labi hanggang sa aking pagtulog.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

I looked at the people that surrounds me today. Kita ko ang mga magulang ko sa gilid na masayang nakatingin sa akin at ang kapatid ko na si Elaine.

My gaze shifted away from him and searched for someone else.

Pero kahit na iikot ko ang aking leeg sa buong paligid, hindi ko siya mahagilap.

"Elie, your candle." Someone whispered beside me which made me look at her.

I didn't invite much, tanging mga kaklase ko lang.

Kita ko kung paano napatitig sa akin ang mga tao nang hindi ko parin binoblow ang kandila. My eyebrows furrowed before looking down at the cake and blow it instantly.

The crowd cheers and instantly grabbed their own slice of the cake.

Kaagad akong umalis at hinayaan sila sa gusto nila. I walked away from the crowd and went at our front yard. Nanatili akong nakatayo sa labas ng gate at muling naghintay.

"Elie?" It was my mom, she's here again.

"Nak, bakit umalis ka sa party mo? Your friends might be looking for you right now."

"They're not my friends, mom. Mga kaklase ko lang sila."

"Elie..." I looked away and decided to fix my gaze on the other side of the road where the cars will be coming from.

Naramdaman ko ang paghawak ni mom sa magkabila kong balikat atsaka muling nagsalita.

"... it's your birthday. 14 ka na. Are you not happy?" Hindi ko ito sinagot.

Hindi na nagpumilit pa si mom na kausapin ako nang dumating si dad. He called my mom and told her to just let me be.

So, I was left outside our home alone.

"Bye Elie! Happy Birthday ulit!"

"Salamat sa pag-imbita, Elie."

"Bye Elie!"

Isa-isa nang nagsialisan ang mga kaklase ko nang sumapit na ang gabi. I never look at them as they wave their goodbyes and got fetched by their chaperones.

May narinig pa akong ilang bulong-bulongan. I can see at the peripheral view of my eye that they are looking at me.

Mga magulang ko na lang ang nagpasalamat sa kanila.

"Kuya, are you okay?" Elaine suddenly popped out of nowhere and tug my shirt.

Hindi ko rin siya sinagot at nanatiling nakayuko sa aking kinatatayuan dito sa labas ng gate namin.

"Mom, is kuya mad at me? He's not answering me."

"Elaine, no, kuya is not mad at you. He's just... he's just waiting for someone, okay?"

"Sino po?"

Hindi ko na muling narinig ang boses ng kapatid ko nang kargahin siya ni mom atsaka sila pumasok sa bahay. Now, that leaves me and my father outside the house.

"Eleazar."

"I'm fine dad." He stopped for a while before placing his hand against my shoulder.

"Why won't you get inside, son?"

"Dito lang ako."

"Elie."

"I said, I'm fine, dad." Medyo may diin kong pagkasabi dahilan upang tumigil na ito. He tapped my shoulders before finally leaving.

Nang maiwan na ako dito sa labas, tuluyan kong naramdaman ang pagpatak ng aking luha mula sa aking mga mata.

I sniffed and wiped my tears away, but it just kept on falling for more.

"Dadaating ako, Elie! Pangako!"

"You promised. You promised me, Ana." Bulong ko sa aking sarili habang pilit na pinupunasan ang aking mga luha.

Hindi siya dumating. I waited since morning for her presence pero wala... walang Ana ang dumating. Wala akong ibang hinangad na makita ngayong araw kundi siya lang.

I don't care about the others except for my family; I only want her.

Pero yung nag-iisang taong gusto kong makasama ngayong araw ay siya pa ang wala.

Mahigpit kong naikuyom ang aking kamao na may laman na bracelet na pagmamay-ari niya.

I felt betrayed.

So since then, I never celebrated my birthday like that. That was the most painful night of my life, dahil hindi ko inaasahan na hindi ko na pala siya makikita ulit.

Kung alam ko lang na 'yon ang magiging huling pagkikita naming dalawa, edi sana hindi na ako umasa pa.

Dumaan ang mga araw, linggo, hanggang sa naging taon... pero ni anino niya ay hindi ko nakita.

I stopped going on parties with my grandfather as well. And for the very first time, I went against him. The sudden disappearance of Ana in my life made a huge contribution of my sudden changes.

The bracelet was still here, but the owner is already gone.

Ana never came back since then.