Chapter 10
I slept on the floor at the cabin, since there wasn’t a spare room with a guest bed. There, on the two cotton blankets and an arrangement of pillows, I had nightmares of losing Lock. My father slept in his bedroom and heard my nightly outbursts of wailing and masculine screams. He came to my rescue and woke me from my troubled dreams, shaking me. Usually he talked me back to sleep, cradling me in his arms like a young boy, whispering to me, “Nothing’s going to hurt you. You’re safe here with me. There’s no harm in your world. It was just a bad dream, Nicky…something unreal. All is well now.”
Distracted and on edge, lethargic from my son’s death, lacking a state of complete relaxation, I decided to write Carla a letter regarding our loss, the love I still held dearly for her,
