Blueprint for Romance

Chapter 3

Dylan Lake pushed a hand through her tangled blond curls as she observed herself in the bathroom mirror. Fatigue danced around her brown eyes and a spattering of freckles stood out across her nose. Disgusted at the image reflected, she dipped both hands in the sink and splashed cold water on her face. It was days like these she felt older than her thirty-five years.

Emma, her seven-year-old daughter, didn’t always have bad nights, but when they hit, it left them both drained and exhausted. Emma had woken her up around two a.m. and hadn’t fallen asleep until six. Now at nine o’clock, Dylan felt the brief five hours of sleep she’d gotten.

When Emma was two years old, she and her dad were in a car accident that left Ian dead and Emma pinned against the side of the car. Because Emma sustained so much damage, the doctors amputated her right leg above the knee. Losing first her husband, then learning Emma’s life had hung in the balance were the most excruciating experiences of Dylan’s life. The healing process had taken years, but Dylan and Emma had made it through and now both were on the right path.

A happy child, Emma loved to draw and paint, along with coming up with new creations for her numerous dollhouses. Her collection of miniature items took up half of her room, but Dylan wouldn’t have it any other way. Seeing the joy on Emma’s face was well worth the pain of occasionally stepping on one of the miniature pieces. Lately, Emma had taken to buying Lego figures and decorating her dollhouses with them. Money was tight, but Dylan did her best to make sure Emma had most of the things she wanted.

After Ian’s death, it became hard, especially finding out he had quit the payments on their health insurance a few months prior to the accident. Five days into Emma’s hospital stay, she was moved to a children’s hospital where her medical bills would be paid, but that still left the bill for five days prior for Dylan to cover. It had come as a shock when she received the bill for almost a hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

She could have let the bills go into a collection agency but that wasn’t how she was raised, so the fifty thousand received from Ian’s life insurance and the ten thousand from the sale of their house went directly to pay for Emma’s bills. Monthly payments were arranged for the remaining amount. Despite his tight budget, her dad had contributed a hundred dollars a month to help pay it off and for that, she would always be grateful. But she wasn’t sure how much longer she could do it. Bankruptcy held an option, but she wasn’t ready to throw in the towel, no matter how many work hours were required to pay off the balance.

Six months after Ian was buried, Dylan and Emma moved in with her mom to make ends meet. A selling point had also been that Emma’s rehabilitation center was only forty minutes away from her mom’s house. It became a turning point in her life when realizing at thirty-one she couldn’t do it on her own. It was a hard pill to swallow but she would do anything for her daughter, including moving in with her mom.

Emma was happy, and Dylan enjoyed getting the chance to know her mom all over again, even if money was tight. She was proud but, like anyone struggling to pay their bills and put food on the table, she’d broken down and signed up for assistance. It didn’t bother her as much as it used to when someone would make a snide comment when she would use her food card to buy ice cream sandwiches for her daughter as a snack. Emma went to hell and back and Dylan didn’t care what a stranger thought of her. Until someone walked in her shoes, they could keep their pointless opinions to themselves.

Ian’s death happened five years ago, but sometimes a memory would hit of that tragic time, making it seem almost like yesterday, and she’d be stuck replaying moments in their life together. From joy to pain, then all over again. It was a process she was still learning to deal with. Even though she had dealt with his death and was ready to move on, it would always feel like a tiny part of her was missing. Especially while in bed at night when she would reach for him, only to feel an empty space beside her. She didn’t wish, even for her worst enemy, to lose their spouse. The pain was piercing.

At times, remembering the notification from the police officer of the accident would slam into her and she’d break down all over again. There were moments she cursed Ian for letting the insurance go, but he had provided for them and had loved her and Emma. She would never get the chance to ask him why but knew he would have never wanted her to struggle. He loved them, but at times it all seemed for naught. She had trusted him to provide health insurance, but in the end, even if he hadn’t meant it, her trust in him fractured. Thank God, he’d kept his life insurance up to date.

They had known each other in high school, but lost touch while they were both in college on opposite sides of the country. After Dylan graduated, she had met up with Ian again in their home town and rekindled their relationship. It had felt natural from there to get married and have a child.

She’d dated off and on during college but no one she wanted to make a life with. There was one woman, but that ended abruptly when she opted to intern overseas. After coming out as bisexual in high school, her parents never treated her any differently and she would always be grateful for their open acceptance of her.

After Ian died, it felt like her life had slowed to a crawl, especially while spending so much time in the hospital with Emma. The doctors had given her a fifty percent chance of making it and although Dylan wasn’t religious, she had prayed to every deity she could think of to save her baby’s life. During that time, the weight gain came. She didn’t necessarily hate her body, but on some days, she wished to lose the extra weight. Going from a size six to twelve proved eye opening and as much as she tried to discipline her eating habits, the extra pounds stayed. It had taken a lot of time for her to accept herself, but it was a wonderful place to be.

Dylan applied the final touches of make-up and fixed her hair. Her reflection in the mirror looked like she hadn’t slept, but, at least now, she looked presentable. With a final look in the mirror, satisfied with what she saw, she joined her mom in the kitchen.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Iris Dunmore was a formidable woman at sixty-three, and Dylan’s rock. Looking at her now, Dylan swallowed the lump in her throat. If it hadn’t been for her mom, she didn’t know if she would have survived. Those first few months after Ian’s death were the hardest of her life. And if it hadn’t been for Emma, Dylan wasn’t sure what her outcome would have been. For the first year after Ian’s death, Dylan kept a bottle of pain killers, that were Ian’s from knee surgery, in the drawer by the bed, but with the help of her mother and a therapist, she was able to work through her grief in a healthy way. Never would she have left her daughter, but it scared her that death was an option once considered.

“Sweetheart, I know that look.” Iris waved her hand in the air. “Stop before you ruin your make-up. Sit. I’ll get you a cup of coffee.”

Dylan bypassed her mom’s outstretched arm and pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too.” Iris patted her back. Once Dylan sat with a cup of coffee, Iris went on. “How’s Emma this morning?”

“Asleep. Finally.” Dylan took a sip of her coffee, closing her eyes as the caramel tones danced on her tongue. “It was a long night.”

“By the time I’d gotten out of bed when she screamed, you were already with her. What was it this time?”

“Another nightmare.”

“Should we up her sessions with Dr. Kline?”

“No. Dr. Kline said the nightmares would come and go. She already sees her once every two weeks.” Dylan hated that her baby still suffered from the accident. On bad nights, Emma would wake up screaming and when realizing her right leg was gone, she would have a panic attack. Dylan wished she could take her child’s pain away. She would give anything in the world for that to happen, but knew it was a wasted wish. If sitting up with Emma half the night was what she had to do, the lack of sleep was a small price to pay for Emma’s pain and peace of mind.

Iris nodded and placed a bowl of fruit salad, granola, and yogurt on the table. “Are you still going to be able to help your cousin at her restaurant today?”

With her spoon halfway to her mouth, Dylan groaned. “Yes, we can use the extra money.” She popped the spoon in her mouth and hummed as the spice of the granola danced on her tongue. Working on her day off wasn’t ideal, but the money, along with the tips, would be worth it.

“You could always use extra money in the bank.” Iris took the seat across from her.

“I know.” Macy, older than Dylan by three years, owned the Burger Café, a restaurant in the next town over. Not that Dylan didn’t want to help, but it was difficult to get the smell of grease out of her clothes after a workday at the restaurant. When she’d first moved to town, she’d readily taken the job Macy had offered, but soon realized it wasn’t for her. “She said eleven, right?”

“She did.” Iris patted her hand then took a sip of coffee and sighed. “Emma and I will be fine. She plans to work on a new drawing anyway.”

Dylan nodded. “It’s all she talked about yesterday.”

“It was.” Iris held her coffee cup between her hands.

“All right.” Dylan stood, stretched, then deposited her empty cup and bowl in the sink. “I’ll see you later.”

Dylan worked five days a week at The Town Square, a local hotel, in downtown Garriety as a housekeeper. It wasn’t much but, as of right now, it at least paid the bills, and, most days, it afforded her the time to be there when Emma got home from school. She’d also gained a friend in her co-worker, Haley. They’d quickly hit it off after Dylan was hired and they tried to get together at least a couple of times a month outside of work. Dylan’s dream was to become a florist one day and run her own shop, but as of right now, that’s all it was, a dream. She didn’t have the extra time to spend on silly notions with bills to pay and a disabled child to take care of.

The previous week, Dylan had gotten a quarter raise and her hours had changed. From now on she’d work Sunday to Wednesday and Friday. She felt grateful for the change in schedule that would allow her to accompany Emma to her Saturday activities. It would also allow her to find a job that she could work on Thursdays. She wasn’t sure what jobs were available that would let her work only one day a week, but surely, something existed out there.

Haley had also been a catalyst in enrolling Emma in public school. Dylan had worried herself to death when she had investigated private schools for Emma. The cost had almost given her a heart attack. But Haley had even gone as far as creating a Power-Point presentation for enrolling in public school. Dylan was skeptical because of Emma’s disability, but Emma’s excitement over the tour of the school combined with Haley’s presentation and the knowledgeable staff sealed the deal for Dylan. Though Emma had never had a panic attack while attending, Dylan made sure everyone was aware of her issues and the faculty had assured her that Emma’s well-being was their number one priority. Emma had taken to it and quickly made a few friends. Dylan wanted Emma to live the fullest life she could. The panic attacks lessoned over the years, but Dylan knew from experience they could be debilitating.

Dylan leaned against her daughter’s door and watched the rise and fall of her small chest, a well-loved penguin plush that her dad had given her for her first birthday held tightly in the right hand. The same penguin that Dylan had to perform emergency surgery on more than once over the years. Emma didn’t feel sorry for herself, and Dylan wouldn’t either. Emma was the strongest person she knew and took every opportunity to do something fun.

Emma was hooked on horseback riding, and they had an appointment for a riding lesson once every two weeks. If it wasn’t for one of the local charities and the donations they received, Emma wouldn’t have been able to take these classes. Dylan was grateful for everything she and Emma had received since the accident.

The forearm crutches Emma used from time to time were propped against the wall by her bed for easy access. Her wheelchair sat folded up in the corner of her room. Thankfully, with the help of some amazing organizations, Emma received a couple of prosthetic devices. One for everyday use and the other a running prosthetic that Emma wore when she played soccer. It became a life saver for them both to realize that Emma, with the help of technology, could participate with the other children in after school activities. Every few years, the prosthetic devices needed to be upgraded, but Dylan couldn’t worry about that now. When the time came, she’d have all her paperwork in order and prayed that Emma would be allowed the prosthetics she would need.

Dylan had been diligent in teaching Emma how to care for her prosthetic limb. It could be a slow and tedious process, but they were both so thankful for the chance for Emma to live a normal life that they would go through the process together most days. Emma was still too young to take on the task herself, but when they had the extra time, Emma would take over the duty of caring for and washing her prosthetic socks and gel liners.

“You need to go,” Iris said.

“I know.” Dylan wiped a tear away.

Iris kissed her on the cheek. “Drawing this morning, then the Garriety Science Center later.”

“Okay.” Dylan hated for her mom to pay for Emma’s way, but was also grateful. Her pride only stung a little every time Iris paid for something that Dylan should be paying for. Iris had told her more than once that they were in this together and after five years living under the same roof, Dylan started to believe it.

With a final look, Dylan turned and walked away. She hoped when Emma got older, she didn’t resent the hand dealt her. Dylan would do what became necessary to ensure that didn’t happen. No matter the sacrifices she’d had to make over the years. Even if that included dating.

Iris had told her countless times she needed to date more. That it wasn’t good for Emma to be her entire life. Losing Ian had broken her heart, and even though it had healed over time, it still hurt. She’d dated over the years, but no one note-worthy, and no one she wanted to introduce to her daughter. There was one guy, but when he realized he wasn’t the center of Dylan’s world, it quickly fell apart. There weren’t many people that wanted to deal with a handicapped child.

Dylan knew she’d get the same talk from her dad about dating when she saw him the following week when he took Emma fishing. When a teenager, Dylan’s parents divorced, but her dad had always been there for them. Dylan knew if she ever needed anything, he’d be there at a moment’s notice.

She’d yet to meet someone she would be willing to give her heart to. They’d have to be someone special, and at this point in her life, she wouldn’t settle for less than she deserved. They would have to understand that Emma was her life and they would always come in second. She’d learned the hard way life was too short, and she didn’t have time for games. No. She shook her head and backed her car out of the driveway. Love wasn’t in her game plans. At least, not any time soon.