PS: Don't Love Me

Chapter 1

YANA

"Let me guess, because you're stupid, you agreed to do the dare. Am I correct?" I nodded. But I am not stupid. I just don't want them to make fun of me if I'll back-out of that goddamn dare.

"I can do it. I'm pretty sure that I can." then I gave her my most determined look. I want her to know that everything's gonna be okay.

"Why are we speaking English? I thought that napag-usapan natin na if tayo lang namang dalawa yung magkausap, we'll converse in Filipino." I rolled my eyes after she said that. Duh. Sino ba yung nagstart na mag-english? Hindi naman ako. I even told her the whole 'dare story' in Filipino.

"Ate Yumi, it was you who started talking in English. Pero yeah, I agreed and I know na kakayanin ko naman yon. Isa pa, I'll be having a new car once matapos ko yung dare nila." excited na sinabi ko sa kanya. Hello Lamborg Baby! And next month na yon, Yay!

"Alam natin na that's not gonna be easy. Like what you've said, si Sofia Ilustre yon. At pag nagkataon, yung president ng Pilipinas mismo yung mang-ha-hunting sa'yo if ever i-swipe mo yung v-card nung anak nya at lokohin lang din sa huli." I think mali yata yung pagkakarinig ko. Did she just say na si Sofia Ilustre is a presidential daughter? She's kidding, right?

"What did you say?" I asked her. Kailangan kong i-confirm diba?

"Sabi ko, ready ka na na bang lokohin at paasahin yung anak ng Presidente ng Pilipinas?" she rephrased it pero same lang din yung meaning.

Is this some kind of a Jerry Springer sh*t? Bakit hindi ko alam? Bakit kasi hindi naman anak ng presidente kung magkikilos si Sofia. Hindi halata sa pormahan nya. If she's not smart and president of one the clubs, siguro nasa loser side yung babaeng yon.

But she's really pretty. And simple. So not my type. I'm into blondes and hot cheerleaders.

"Huy, ano na? Saan na napunta yang isip mo? Sa loob ng pants ni Sofia Ilustre?" I gave her a look of disgust dahil sa sinabi nya. Yun talaga yung naisip nya? Gross.

"You and your perverted mind." naiiling na sabi ko sa kanya.

"At least sa akin, isip lang yung perverted. Eh ikaw? Ikaw mismo yung pervert. Wag kang pa-virgin. Ilan na bang babae yung naikama mo dahil sa pagtanggap mo sa 'dares' ng mga kaibigan mo?" I automatically winced nang marinig ko yung sinabi nya. Hindi naman porke marami na akong 'naikama' eh ibig sabihin non na hindi na ako virgin. Hindi ba pwedeng ako lang yung kumikilos and sila lang yung nakakaranas na madala sa langit?

"Let's not talk about that. Balikan natin si Ilustre. Are you sure na anak sya ni President Ilustre? Baka naman magkaapelyido lang?" hindi naman masamang magtry diba? Malay naman natin hindi naman talaga sila related, right?

"Yes, my dear. Sya yung pangalawang anak ni President Ilustre. Grabe, manliligaw ka pero hindi mo alam yung family background nya. Dyan pa lang, basted ka na." duh! Malay ko ba diba? Never pa naman ako 'nanligaw' ng totoo and yung mga 'niligawan' ko naman, isang kindat ko lang, bumibigay na agad. Hindi ko na kailangang i-check yung family background nila dahil saglit lang naman sila dadaan sa buhay ko. Para saan pa yon, diba?

"As if. Ako, mababasted? Can you recall an incident na nabasted ang isang Alyana Louise Lopez?" and I gave her a proud smile dahil sure ako na never pang nangyari yon.

"Mangyayari pa lang. Eto ha, sa pagkakakilala ko kay Sofi, hindi sya basta-basta naniniwala sa mga nanliligaw sa kanya. Sa dami ng nakapilang admirers and suitors nya, mapababae or lalaki ha, wala syang sinagot ni isa man. So sinasabi ko sa'yo na hindi magiging madali yang gagawin mo. At natatakot na ako na sa bandang huli, ikaw yung masaktan." nag-aalalang sabi nya sa akin.

Ngumiti naman ako kay Ate Yumi. Nagpapasalamat ako na kahit iniwan na ako ng parents ko, nandito sya para sa akin. Kung wala siguro sa buhay ko 'tong pinsan ko na 'to, siguro hindi ko na rin kinaya yung gulo ng buhay ko.

"I'll be okay, Ate. Trust me. At hindi ako masasaktan dahil yung mga taong naiinlove at nagmamahal lang naman yung nasasaktan. At bilang isang Yana Lopez, hindi ako nakakaramdam ng ganyan. So my heart's safe, I promise." pag-a-assure ko sa kanya.

"Sa ngayon, oo, hindi ka pa nagmamahal pero papa'no kung mangyari yung ayaw mong mangyari? Tandaan mo, ang love, nambibigla yan. Minsan, dumadating sya sa panahon na hindi mo inaasahan at sa taong hindi mo inaakalang mamahalin mo." sabi pa nya kaya natawa naman ako.

"Hindi yan dadating sa akin, Ate. Never. At lalong-lalo naman na hindi ko yan mararamdaman para dun sa Sofia Ilustre na yon." sabi ko pa.

I heard her sigh bago tuluyang tumango sa akin.

"Fine. Sabi mo eh. Pero eto, may tanong lang ako. What if matalo ka sa dare na yan. Sabihin na natin na nainlove ka sa kanya at umayaw ka bigla, ready ka na bang harapin yung pamilya ng daddy mo?" she softly asked and I just looked at her blankly.

"I- I- I don't know. And I am not sure kung matatanggap ba nila na may anak sa labas si daddy. Pero I know na it'll never happen. Because I'm gonna finish this freaking dare. Dahil obviously, hindi naman mangyayari yung kinakatakutan mo dahil wala pang nakakapagpatibok ng sutil na puso ni Yana Lopez." I told her while smirking kaya napangiti na lang sya habang pailing-iling na tinalikuran ako.

See? I always win. Kahit sa debate, hindi pa ako natatalo.

***

DAY 1

So, first things first. According to google, the step do to in trying to woo a girl like Sofia Ilustre is to know her favorites. I have to give her some of her favorite things, as in everyday.

That's why I'm currently waiting for her to arrive here sa may locker nya na may hawak na isang stem ng tulip. Favorite flower nya. Kung alam lang nya na hindi naman talaga ako maagang gumigising pero dahil I have to do this, sinakripisyo ko yung oras namin together ng kama ko.

I automatically smiled nung nakita kong naglalakad sya papalapit sa akin, I mean, sa may locker pala nya. Nagpaka-feeling ako don.

And as expected, she gave me a questioning look nung nakita nyang nakatayo ako sa tapat mismo ng locker nya.

"What do you want?" she asked while opening her locker. Ni hindi man lang tumingin sa akin nung nagtanong sya. Hindi 'to marunong ng eye-contact.

"Look at me." I told her kaya nakuha ko yung atensyon nya at nakataas ang kilay na tiningnan ako.

"What did you say?" she asked habang mas tumaas pa yung kilay nya. Sh*t, iba ba yung dating ng pagkasabi ko?

Pero eto na eh. Wala nang urungan 'to.

"Look at me while I'm talking to you." I told her. She just rolled her eyes and bumalik sa pagkuha ng gamit sa locker nya.

After nyang makuha yung gamit nya, tumingin sya sa akin ng derecho and napaatras ako bigla dahil may naramdaman ako na hindi ko pa nararamdaman sa whole existence ko dito sa mundo.

What the hell was that?

"So, tell me, what do you want?" and there's that intense stare na naman.

This is freaking me out. Bakit hindi ako makapagsalita? What the hell is happening to me?

"I- I--"

"What?" Ngumiti lang naman ako sa kanya kaya umiling na lang sya. "Know what, I have to be in class,so if you have nothing to say, can I go now?" bored na tanong pa nya kaya wala na lang akong nagawa kundi iabot sa kanya yung bulaklak and after nyang tanggapin, I ran immediately para hindi makita yung reaksyon nya. Ni hindi man lang ako lumingon sa kanya kahit narinig kong nagsalita sya.

And when I was sure na the coast is clear, hinihingal akong tumigil sa pagtakbo. Inis na iniuntog ko naman yung ulo ko sa pader dahil sa kahihiyan na inabot ko kanina.

Yung babaeng kausap kanina ni Sofia Ilustre, that's not Alyana Lopez. That's a freaking stupid girl.

And kapag sinuswerte ka nga naman, I realized na yung first subject ko pala is yung kaisa-isang subject na magkakaklase kaming dalawa ni Ilustre. What the f*ck diba? Tingin nyo ba may mukha pa akong maihaharap sa kanya matapos yung nangyari kanina?

Ang hindi ko maintindihan is kung ano yung naramdaman ko kanina? That's the reason kung bakit nagmukhang tanga ako. At hindi ko alam kung ano yon.

It's so frustrating! After nung pinaghirapan kong i-memorize na mga cheesy and pick-up lines, matatameme lang ako sa harap nya? This si so f*cked up!

Instead na dumerecho ako sa klase ko, naramdaman ko na lang na dinadala ako ng mga paa ko sa may football field.

Nakahalumbabang nanood na lang ako ng practice ng cheerleaders. At least dito, makakakita ako ng mga katawan na magpapaalis ng kung anong naramdaman ko kanina nung tiningnan ako ni Sofia Ilustre.

"This isn't the Philosophy class, right?" is this for real? Balewala yung pagtakbo ko kanina? What is she doing here? Diba dapat nasa klase na sya?

"What are you doing here?" I asked her while still looking sa field.

"Look at me." psh! Gaya-gaya.

Para matapos na, tumingin na lang ako sa kanya and kinontrol kung ano man yung feeling na nararamdaman ko na naman sa ngayon. Why does she have to look at me like that?

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in that Philo class right now?" I asked her.

"I should be asking you the same question. Why are you here?" she asked me and I just shrugged.

"I just don't feel like listening to Ms. Evans." I answered her and then looked again to the cheerleaders. Gods, I really love the person who invented that skirts.

"But you're in the mood to drool at some cheerleader's ass?" she playfully asked me.

I sighed and asked looked at her again.

"Are you going to mock me or we'll just address the elephant in the room?" I asked her.

She nodded and took a seat beside me.

"Fine. Why did you run after you gave the flower?" I shook my head. Hindi ko naman talaga alam eh. Hindi naman kasi yun yung plano ko.

"What's with the flower?" she asked again.

"I-I--I like you." I told her while looking in her eyes. And why does it feel so right? Why does it feel na yun talaga yung nararamdaman ko eh I'm just doing this lang naman because of a dare.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Then she gave me that intense look again and after that, I was surprised when she stood up and nagmamadaling tumalikod at naglakad palayo sa akin.

And tulad ko kanina, she didn't even try to look back.

Okay, that was weird. Mas weird pa sa naramdaman ko kanina. But the good thing is, she didn't give the flower back so I'll take it as a good sign.

I smirked while looking at the cheerleaders again. This is gonna be easy.

At, nagsisimula pa lang ako nyan ha! Papa'no na lang kapag tinodo ko na? Hah! Take that, Steve!