Centuries of Sin : Book IV

18

Elizabeth went straight to the kitchen as soon as she was back, but she was looking out of the window overlooking the forest while the water boiled to make coffee, and she noticed when Sawyer emerged. 

He didn't come back to their house, but she didn't go to see where she was; she just made a drink for herself, and at the last minute she decided to make one for Klara. 

"Black with no sugar," she passed the cup over with a smile, "which to humans is generally known as 'are you actually a psychopath?', but at least it's easy to remember."

Klara raised her eyebrow as she took the cup, and sipped the scolding hour drink before setting it down. 

"This happens to be exactly how your father drank his coffee, so if it makes me a psychopath that is evidently something that runs in our family."

"I wish I knew more things like that. I was so angry when my mom told me about him, but she made it seem like he was just a one night stand and from everything you've said, and the picture I have of them together, that is clearly not true."

"You have a picture of him?" 

Elizabeth opened a drawer in a side table and rifled through a stack of paperwork before producing the Polaroid and passing it to Klara. 

"I assume it's him. It took us long enough to figure out who the hell my father even was, if we were wrong…"

"...it's him," Klara sounded surprised. She held the picture a little closer for a while before passing it back to Elizabeth. “It's a cute picture."

Elizabeth smiled, and put the picture back in the drawer with the paperwork she had considered important when they left everything else behind in her old house. 

“I thought so. I didn’t expect it to make me feel anything… I didn’t think I would ever see him, and I had spent months assuming he was just some asshole who took advantage of my mom and abandoned her when he found out about me.”

“He cared about her; I wish he had a chance to get to know you. I think he would have been proud to have a daughter like you.”

Elizabeth laughed coolly and sat down next to Klara.

“I don’t think so. He had a chance, and he didn’t take it.”

“I don't think things were as simple as you think they were. You’re used to people who can do whatever they want without having to face the consequences and that isn’t the way things are for most people. If it was as simple as admitting he had a daughter and welcoming you into our pack he would have done it - that wasn’t an option.”

“I still think he could have given us more help than he did. I don’t know anything about myself and it’s been difficult to adjust to this when I don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t. If he had just given her more information about what stuff I was likely to inherit from him my life would have been a lot simpler and I would not have found the past couple of years so difficult.”

Klara didn’t say anything, and Elizabeth worried that she had offended her somehow until she picked up the coffee again and drank the entire thing in one go.

It looked like she was downing a cup of liquor for courage before admitting something.

“He was far from perfect, Elizabeth. Maybe he could have done more to help, or made an effort to find out who you were and what you were like.”

“He didn’t even care whether I was a girl or a boy. My mom offered to send him a picture and some information like that and he told her he didn’t want to know.”

“And you assumed that was because he didn’t care or considered you unworthy of his attention. Have you ever considered that it was difficult for him to give you up? I told you he made my life hell for years - I really do think it was because I reminded him that he didn’t have a chance to raise you, and I wish he had seen me as a second chance or something positive rather than just being his brother’s kid. He probably didn’t want to know anything about you because it would have made it more real. If he saw a picture of you he would spend the rest of his life wondering how you had changed. If you had been a boy he would have been hurt because he never had a son of his own to take over and it would have been a really cruel irony if he actually did have a son that nobody could ever know about. I don’t think he was disinterested or angry about you - I think he struggled with what he lost and he didn’t need anything to make it more difficult.”

“He could still have given my mother some practical information to give me in the event I ended up inheriting things from him. That wouldn’t have been emotionally draining or difficult to do, and he didn’t have to make any effort whatsoever to make sure I wasn’t completely f****d when I transformed for the first time. I felt completely alone.”

“But you weren’t,” Klara snapped. 

Elizabeth drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“I’m sorry. That was a really poor choice of words. I didn’t mean it like that and I know what you went through must have been difficult, but I never forgave my mom and that meant I had nobody.”

“Nobody but the man who will do anything to make you happy? You aren't the only person with no family left; I dont have anybody left, either.”

“Didn’t… you didn’t have anybody left, but you do now. And so do I.”

“I suppose that’s why you’ve been so nice to me? Because I’m all you have.”

“I’m just trying to be a better person - in the past I would have blamed you for everything I went through rather than being reasonable and seeing that you had nothing to do with it. I was hurt when you told me my father raised you - I would have hated you for it, once. Now I can see it wasn’t your fault. And I didn’t completely dismiss everything you just said about why he didn’t want to know anything about me. A year ago I would just have told you that you were wrong and that he was a bad person.”

Klara looked at Elizabeth; she wasn’t sure whether that defense was for her benefit or because Elizabeth was trying to convince herself that she wasn’t the same person she had been anymore.

“He wasn’t a great person. You can accept that without being considered unreasonable; things don’t have to be black and white, you know. He could have handled things differently. He could have stayed in contact with your mom somehow so that he knew when you needed help. If he had heard about you and Sawyer I think he would have made an effort to get in touch with you.”

“I have heard that… not about him - just in general. He wouldn’t have been doing it because he valued me, he would just have been trying to take advantage of a tenuous connection to people he could take advantage of. If he tried to talk to me because of the man I love, I would have seen through it and I would not have let him manipulate me. Not that it matters - I didn’t even meet Sawyer properly for years and I didn’t find out the truth right away. I don’t think my mom even wanted to be honest with me when she knew that I was aware of people like you… or us, I guess.”

“You didn’t know?” Klara sounded surprised.

“How could I possibly have guessed that I wasn’t completely human?”

“I’ve seen you transform…”

“That was probably the last thing that I did. I’ve been told I can do a lot compared to some people, but I couldn’t do any of those things when I was younger.”

“Things?” Klara looked intensely at Elizabeth.

It made her feel like she was being interrogated; Klara had a way of asking questions that drew more from Elizabeth than she would ordinarily reveal.

“I think some of it is because of the relationship I have with Sawyer, but some of the things were definitely inherited. Stuff like reading thoughts… I used to have visions as well, but that hasn’t happened in a while. Are those things he could do?”

“Your father? He read thoughts, but that’s not as uncommon as other things. What do you mean by ‘used to’, anyway?”

“It doesn’t happen anymore. It only used to happen when something dangerous was going to happen; maybe it’s because we haven’t been in danger for a while.”

“Perhaps," Klara shrugged. 

She suspected there were things Elizabeth wasn’t revealing, but she didn’t press the issue and Elizabeth took the empty cups back into the kitchen and returned with an unopened bottle of vodka in her hand.

“Do you drink?”

“Not often. It’s not because I am repressed or anything, it just seemed a little sad to drink alone.”

“I don’t think you’re repressed. I just want a drink because today was stressful and Sawyer doesn’t really drink much anymore so I thought I would ask you.”

“Alright,” Klara nodded, and Elizabeth put the bottle down on the table before disappearing to get glasses.

“Could he see things? Not visions, I mean…”

“…I know what you mean. Yes, he was able to see what other people were seeing, but it wasn’t something he found easy to do, and before you ask- he wouldn’t have been able to do that with your mom to spy on you.”

Elizabeth hadn’t been asking because of that; the idea hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“What were they known for? Sawyer told me packs are sometimes known for things - that’s how Francesca was matched with someone from this pack. Was your pack known for anything in particular?”

Klara downed the vodka Elizabeth had poured out for her and swallowed it in one mouthful before replacing the glass on the table the way she had when she drank the coffee earlier.

She hadn't flinched, or cringed, and it made Elizabeth wonder whether she was being entirely honest when she said she didn't drink often.

“Not every pack is that special.”

"So my relatives were unremarkable?" 

"Are you hoping I'll tell you that our ancestors were legendary?" Klara sounded a little irritated and she poured out another shot of vodka for herself without asking. 

"I'm hoping you'll tell me they weren't."

"I wouldn't have ended up alone if we were special; nobody thought I was worth approaching. You can do more than I can, but it's because you got lucky. Why do you care, anyway?" 

"I just want to know where I came from. Sawyer and Francesca had books filled with names and information about their ancestors, and Jonas' father knew enough that… are you blushing?" 

"No," Klara lied as she grabbed the glass and downed the contents without flinching for a second time. 

"You can just admit you have a crush on him. Every time you hear his name you get like that."

"I don't have a crush on anyone."

It wasn't exactly convincing, and she was relieved that Sawyer opened the door before Elizabeth could tease her. 

"Do you want to…" Klara trailed off; she was going to ask if he wanted to join them, but he hadn't even acknowledged them before disappearing upstairs so she turned to Elizabeth instead. "What's his issue?" 

"That really depends on who he was talking to."