26
1351 Words
"We should really go out, Elizabeth," Sawyer smiled and nodded towards the stairs. "I appreciate what you're saying, and I'm happy that you're sure this is what you want, but…"
"...but this still isn't the right time for us?"
"Right."
"What if it's never the right time for us?"
"Elizabeth…" he sighed, and she rubbed her arm awkwardly as she waited for him to carry on. "There might never be a right time for us; we might be told that we have to wait before we settle down, or we could decide that things aren't safe enough here, or that bringing another child into this pack would put the existing members in too much danger…"
Her chest tightened.
She knew that he was being reasonable, but it still stung.
"I'm sorry; I should stop being so impatient."
"Your body is making it difficult to be patient right now."
Elizabeth glared at Sawyer, but he seemed oblivious.
"I'm not incapacitated, and I…"
"...it's difficult for me to be patient, you know. I've wanted this for a very long time. I'm just trying to do the right thing this time."
Elizabeth closed her eyes. "I know."
"So..." Sawyer stepped towards her, and she could feel her cheeks heating up, "the right thing, right now, is for us to go out."
"I'm not convinced that this isn't going to end with us back in bed, anyway."
"I'm sure we'll end up in bed again later, but that isn't the point."
"What is the point then?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrow, and Sawyer laughed dryly.
She sounded almost petulant, but she wasn't being a brat and he thought she deserved an explanation.
"The point is that I want to do this properly; if you're going to make it difficult I will just have to stay with my sister for a couple of days. Aside from the fact I need you to tell me you still want a baby when you're not in Heat - I'm not Alpha anymore: we can't just do whatever we want without thinking of the consequences."
Elizabeth sighed and chewed her lip for a moment.
"I'm going to go out to the forest. If you're willing to listen, I'd be happy to tell you exactly why I'm so sure about this."
"I'd rather wait until you're ready to talk without mounting me."
"Nathan…" she hissed his name, but his eyes were sparkling with amusement.
"I'm kind of serious, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth sighed again, but when she heard the bathroom door close downstairs she took advantage of the fact Klara was gone to slip out of the house.
She was glad that Sawyer followed her, and she transformed herself so that she could run through the trees as he followed her closely.
She wasn't sure whether he would talk to her at all, but she transformed to sit beside a tree and he sat quietly beside her.
"How long have you been thinking about this?"
She shrugged and ran her fingers through the dirt beside her.
"Does it matter?"
"It matters to me," he rested his hand on Elizabeth's knee, and she turned to look at him.
"I guess I've been thinking about it seriously for the past couple of months. Why?"
"What made you change your mind?"
Elizabeth thought for a while, then exhaled dramatically.
"I don't know… it wasn't one thing. I guess seeing you with Robin might have changed my outlook a little, but it's…"
"...since you started to transform again?"
He sounded serious, and she bit her lip as she thought back properly.
"No. I started to think about talking to you about this before that, but there wasn't really any point and… I really don't think it's because I'm in Heat."
"You don't?"
"No, I don't… but I think it's good that you want to be sure."
Sawyer smiled, and rubbed her leg affectionately.
"I hope you know I'm happy about this, Elizabeth. I may not seem it, but…"
"...but I told you I never wanted to have a kid with you and now you can't trust that I really want this."
"Right…"
Elizabeth swallowed nervously and avoided looking at Sawyer.
"You would have run through fire to get to your sister when you heard she was in labor."
"Elizabeth, are you jealous of Francesca? Is that what this is?"
"No; I assure you, I'm not jealous of her. I just meant...you aren't Alpha here, but you need people to care for. That makes you happy, right? And I think it would really make me happy to settle down with you. I know you are happy with Robin and Saga, but I also feel… I don't know… I feel like I want this. Maybe that's because of my hormones, but I don't think it is."
"I don't, either."
Elizabeth's heart rushed and she smiled without looking at him properly.
"You believe me, then?"
"I always did," he laughed, "I still think we need to ask first, but I don't think this is just a response to being in Heat, at least."
"It isn't," she lowered her eyes, and he brushed his fingers against her chin to make sure she looked at him.
"Things are going to be difficult, you know."
"I know; I'm not expecting anything to be easy. I just want to be happy, and I want you to be happy, too."
"I'm just happy to be with you, Elizabeth."
She felt her cheeks grow warm again, and she reached out to stroke his hair.
"You smell like me," she murmured quietly.
He laughed and brushed her hand away from him, "I always smell like you."
She nuzzled against his neck, and he shrugged his shoulders a little so she could lean in closer to him.
"Nobody ever asked you if they could start a family when you were Alpha. Do we really have to ask?"
He tensed slightly, but he couldn't get upset with her for making a simple statement.
"This pack isn't the same as the one I was raised in. There are less people here, we weren't born into this pack, and we aren't even members yet. Asking is the polite thing to do."
"How does it work? Are we supposed to make a formal request in front of everybody? or give them a gift?"
"No," sawyer smiled and pulled Elizabeth a little closer into an embrace, "we don't have to do anything like that."
"That's good; I was nervous that it was going to be one of those things that is a really big deal that I don't understand, and I really don't want to do the wrong thing."
"They're coming over to the house later... Francesca told them I want to talk to them, and..."
"...you told your sister about this?" Elizabeth moved away slightly, and Sawyer nodded nervously.
"Sort of. I wasn't trying to betray your trust, I just needed to say something to somebody. I wasn't counting on her hormones making her a little irrational about things. I didn't say we had definitely decided on this or anything, but she..."
"...she knows you've wanted this for a long time. I guess she didn't want to give me any time to change my mind... I'm not mad, by the way; I get it. And I'm glad she told them we want to ask about this - I think it would have become a really big deal otherwise, and I would have been scared about it."
"So…" he leaned towards her, "you're not scared, and you're not mad at Francesca even though you will take any excuse you can to berate her, and you're not pleading with me to come up with an excuse or tell them we didn't really want to talk to them. This is a serious thing, then?"
"I think it is," she smiled.
"Does this mean we're actually going to get married?" he laughed, even before she could respond, and she shoved his arm playfully.
"You're not thinking about running off again, are you?"
"I wasn't, no," he laughed again, "I just thought that we could..."
"...well, we can't."
- Writer
