Centuries of Sin : Book IV

39

Elizabeth watched Sawyer dress, then hurry down the stairs without saying goodbye to her.

She knew exactly where he was going - she didn't need to ask; he was going to his sister's house, the same as he had done every morning for long enough that the weather was no longer warm when he left the house.

She sighed before throwing the covers off and dragging herself to the shower alone; he had asked her if she wanted to go with him at first, but after a couple of weeks he stopped asking and she spent her days in the house on her own unless Klara showed up, which was usually because she wanted Elizabeth to go to the store with her.

She didn't really want to answer the door when Klara came over a couple of hours after Sawyer had gone, but she felt like she hadn't spoken to anybody in days so she grabbed her keys and left the house without bothering to let Klara ask if she was free to drive to the store.

Klara had to run to catch up with her, but she didn't ask why Elizabeth was being so standoffish and she sat in silence as Elizabeth drove.

"Don't take too long," Elizabeth glanced at Klara without expressing any real emotion and the young woman wrung her hands awkwardly because she had actually gone to talk to Elizabeth about something and she didn't realize Elizabeth had driven her to the store because she assumed that was the only reason she would visit.

"Of course..." she left the car and walked nervously towards the store despite the fact she hated being around humans on her own.

She hurried around the store dropping things she didn't really need into a basket and attempting to use the self check-out in a futile attempt at avoiding human interaction.

She tried to compose herself before she walked back to the car, and she felt like an inconvenience when Elizabeth exhaled in a weary disapproval at the single bag of groceries she thought she had been dragged out for Klara to pick up.

"Is that it?"

"Yes...I mean...no, not really, but..."

"...just go back. I would rathe not make another trip out here tomorrow because you didn't buy everything you wanted today."

Klara's cheeks flushed and she stared down at her hands.

"That's not what I wanted; I actually wanted to talk to you."

"You did? Do you think I'm privy to insider information or something?"

"Not exactly..." Klara mumbled, and Elizabeth looked at her again, finally realizing her cousin was feeling awkward about this.

"Go on then... we've got a long drive back, you might as well ask me whatever it is you think I'm such an expert on."

"There's a guy..."

Elizabeth covered the laugh that she had failed to suppress as a cough.

"You realize Francesca would literally kill Jonas if he slept with someone else, don't you? And even if she wouldn't he'd tell you he's too old to mess around with another woman."

"It's not him... I just hadn't seen a guy like that before and I didn't know what to do and..."

"...you don't know what to do now, either?"

Klara groaned, and covered her face with her hands; she didn't really want to talk about this, but Elizabeth was the only person she was even close to comfortable asking something personal.

"No, I don't know what to do. Please don't make fun of me for this."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to figure out how serious you are about this guy - do you know whether he likes you?"

"I really like him, and I think he feels the same... I just don't know how to handle this."

Elizabeth sighed, and considered how to answer her. She didn't really know what would be meaningful advice for a woman who had lived alone for ten years and acted like a child around grown men.

"Have you tried talking to him about it? You may not know how to navigate relationships but if he likes you that's probably the right place to start. I'm not exactly the best person to ask about things like this - I know less about the way that stuff works in this world than you do, I assure you. I didn't exactly start off any of my relationships under romantic circumstances."

"What if I'm not interested in a relationship with him? We don't exactly connect on that level but we do in other ways; at least, I think we do."

"There is no possible way for me to answer this that won't make it impossible for you to look me in the eye ever again... and it's weird when you're the only relative I have left."

"Elizabeth, please..." she sounded desperate enough that Elizabeth felt guilty and she tried to think of something to say.

"What exactly are you asking me, Klara?"

"I don't know... I guess...the mechanics won't be so awkward in the end, but I don't know how to get to that point and I don't know what I'm supposed to do afterwards..."

"Please never use the word 'mechanics' again; it sounds clinical and I know what you're saying but I would strongly advise you not to say anything about 'mechanics' to a guy you're trying to seduce unless you want the him to think you're some sort of android."

"This is exactly why I needed to talk to someone. I just... I don't know what to do. What if I say the wrong thing and he thinks I'm really weird?"

Elizabeth felt guilty for making fun of her cousin, and she wished she had something more insightful to say to her.

"Either he likes you, and he knows you're a little odd because of the way you were living, or he's only interested in sleeping with you - in which case he really won't care. I don't really know what else to say; Sawyer would probably be better to talk to about this kind of thing than I am."

Klara sighed, and her shoulders slumped.

"I think I would prefer the ground to swallow me up."

Elizabeth didn't know what to say to that, so she remained silent until they got back, and they got out of the car without saying anything about the conversation.

She hung back at the car, pretending there was something important she needed to do, and walked slowly back home.

She felt awkward walking past the people she should really have known by now, but they were staring at her and she knew they were gossiping about why Sawyer was spending so much time with his sister while Elizabeth was seemingly refusing to go there herself.

She ignored them, and tried to decide whether she should talk to Sawyer about it or not when he was probably already aware people were asking questions about why nobody had seen the baby yet.

"Where the hell have you been?" Sawyer seemed annoyed at Elizabeth, but his expression softened when he saw that she seemed bothered by something. "I'm sorry... I was just worried that you might be hurt or something."

"I took Klara to the store, and...you know people are talking, don't you? I didn't really know what to do when I came back here; I can't get to know anyone when they only care about one thing."

"I promise they're not bothered by what we're doing, Elizabeth... it's not the same here as it was before."

"I know that...they're not talking about us, they're talking about Saga."

Sawyer turned away from Elizabeth and went to sit on the couch.

He stared at the wall ahead of him, and she wondered whether he had really been that naive or if he had just been in denial about the way people had been talking for the past couple of weeks.

"It's not like the others are oblivious, Elizabeth."

She nodded - she knew he didn't mean the other pack members when he said 'the others' and she wondered whether Sawyer had been talking to Jonas and Francesca with Selene there.

"Are they going to do anything about it? Because right now everyone thinks there's something seriously wrong with that girl and the way Francesca acts whenever anyone approaches her isn't exactly helping."

"They aren't ready, Elizabeth. This is going to have enormous repercussions and they're worried that they will put Saga in danger if they don't do the right thing."

"Are they waiting to ask her what she wants to do?" Elizabeth folded her arms and her tone was sarcastic enough that Sawyer couldn't avoid acknowledging it.

"It's not for me to judge how they handle this, and it's not for you to judge, either. If they think it's safer for everyone to think there's something wrong with her, that's up to them; I'm sure you would be angry at them if..."

"...I don't think I want this conversation right now."

"Because I said 'if'?" Sawyer made pointed eye contact with Elizabeth and ignored the fact it was clearly making her uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much... I know I should be making more of an effort to spend time with you when you don't have much to do around here; I should be making more of an effort in general."

"Well...I guess I should be making more of an effort, too. I was the one refusing to go there with you and I know it's important to you for me to spend more time with them. It just makes me insecure when I'm there with you - the rest of you are a family and I'm just there. I never know what to do, or what to say, and it makes me question whether I'm good enough for you."