He Will Be Mine (New Horizon Book 1)

The Party: Aly

Meredith decides after a few minutes of dancing that she wants to go downstairs and play games. I follow her at first, but after taking one look at how crowded it is down there and how many people we would have to push past on the stairs, I tap out.

“I think I’m going to go outside and get some air,” I tell her.

She looks concerned, but I manage to convince her that I can take care of myself and she lets me go.

I see Matt out there standing around by himself. Even though we had that awkward moment earlier, I decide to head over to him. Maybe this is a chance to recover from it. It was so nice sitting and talking to him, touching him. I don’t know why I had to go and make it weird.

He sees me coming and smiles, holding out his hand to me. That surprises me, but I happily take it.

“I was just curious if we were still hand-holding friends, or if that messes with your head too much,” he says, looking down at me with an expression that almost seems tender and inviting. He doesn’t seem bitter or put off or anything. He seems concerned.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” I apologize. “I don’t even know how to explain to you what happened there. I just got this feeling like you were the wrong person to be talking to about all that.”

“Why?” he asks innocently.

Ugh, how to explain without telling him that he’s my mate that he is the whole reason I get mixed up, emotional, and confused and that Tyler was just meant to be a distraction and maybe a little bit a pawn in my scheme, but now he has feelings, and maybe I have feelings, and then there’s always Jessica too.

A couple of the guys near us have been throwing something back and forth. It doesn’t look like a football, but they’re using it like a football. It’s maybe a … shoe? Whatever it is comes flying straight at us, and Matt pulls me aside just in time for the shoe-ball to skim past me instead of hitting me in the head. The other guys apologize, laughing, and then go back to their game.

“Follow me,” Matt says, and pulls me with him to the edge of the house. We walk a few paces around the corner to a spot that is quieter and with no one right near us.

“Tell me why,” he turns to me and demands gently. “I need to understand.”

He is still holding my hand. I love the feel of his hand over mine and for that one reason, I hope this night never ends and Jessica never comes back and wrecks everything.

I reach out and grab his other hand, and to my surprise and delight, he lets me. He brings both sets of our joined hands up and holds them on either side of my face, leaning into me. I have no idea what is happening right now, but I love it. I keep forgetting his question because I am so distracted by the tingly jolts of electricity coursing throughout my entire body right now.

As though he can tell he isn’t going to get an answer out of me unless he can somehow demand my attention, he brings his face down to my level and looks me directly in the eyes. Now I am distracted by how close his lips are. With one small maneuver, I could kiss him.

As I am staring at those lips, they say again, “Tell me why you can’t talk to me about how you feel. Why am I the wrong person? Is it Jessica?”

I release a sigh from deep within my soul. It feels like he already knows the answer to that, at least partially, and that must be why he wants me to tell him.

I pull back from him so I can look him in the face properly, and then I let loose.

“Because, Matt, you’re the guy. You’re the guy I’ve been telling my dad about for five years. I know it will make zero sense to you, but I saw you that day your family drove by me. I felt you. I didn’t even know you, but I wanted you. I swore to my dad that if you ever came back, I would get with you. And then I finally, finally get to meet you, and you’re engaged. It breaks my damn heart, and I don’t know why I decided to torture myself by going on that camping trip, but I did. I told my dad I was going to claim my guy, even though I knew I couldn't, and he was surprised when we got back and it wasn't you I was with. It was Tyler, and he was so sweet to me and so attentive, and now I’m completely confused. I can’t have the guy I want, and I don’t want the guy I can have. Or maybe I do. I just don’t know. And now that I’ve told you all this, you’re never going to speak to me again because you’re with Jessica, and that’s that. And that’s why you’re not the person I should be talking to right now.”

I take a breath to try to calm myself and attempt to pull away from him, but he holds tight to my hands and just stares at me for a moment. It starts to get a bit uncomfortable because I have no idea what’s going through his head.

Before I know what’s happening, he leans down to kiss me. It’s soft and sweet, and catches me completely off guard, but once I recover I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on as though he will float away from me if I let go. Just as the kiss starts to turn passionate, he pulls away suddenly, breathless.

“I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that," he tells me sheepishly, blushing. "I guess I just had to know what that felt like.”

“And?” I prompt, hoping it felt as incredible for him as it did for me.

“I’ve never had a kiss like that,” he admits, and then he gets that nervous, uncomfortable expression.

Yeah, I knew this was coming. It was too soon to confess anything to him. I already know this is going to be a setback.

“Aly, I am with Jessica. I struggle a little bit because the weird thing is, when I first saw you, I felt like that too. I already told you I tried to convince my dad to turn around. But I think it’s just a crush. My feelings for you make no sense. I don’t even know you."

He exhales in frustration and then adds more softly, "I’d like to, though. I do want to be friends with you.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and squeak out a response. “I want to be your friend, too.”

“I’m glad," he nods. "But we have to stop whatever this weird attraction is between us. We have more important things we need to be focusing on, like school, and for me, my relationship. I love her, Aly. I need you to understand that. I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re not the girl for me.”

I exhale forcefully, feeling like he punched me in the gut. I don’t know whether to take that as a rejection, or just his ignorance talking because he’s still in denial about what he feels and hasn’t figured it all out yet.

“One thing I will say, though, is I’m glad we had this talk,” he continues. “This all needed to be said so we can clear the air and know where we stand.”

I am not glad we had this talk. I was trying to avoid this talk. It’s too soon.

“Me too,” I lie. “So now maybe it doesn’t always have to be awkward.”

“Exactly,” he agrees.

Then he surprises me by taking my hands again. “We can still be hand-holding friends,” he says kind of shyly.

It makes me giggle, more from the euphoric sensations than what he said, but he seems to interpret it as though I’m being playful. I decide I’m okay with that. It makes this less awkward.

“Just for tonight, though,” I specify. “Jessica would flip if she saw it.”

He laughs awkwardly and pulls away. I knew reminding him of her would break our moment, but it had to be done. He’s not ready yet and being close to him like this is killing me.

Then we hear Tyler call out to us. “Hey guys! The party is over this way.”