Chapter 9
2751 Words
James Lavezzo
Thursday 1/29/2022 9:43 AM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Miss Fenn,
Please see the attached editable PDF enclosed and sign at your earliest convenience. It’s just an electronic signature that states you have watched the training videos on your first day at CBC. State law requires that you do so within 30 days of starting employment at any company, and I will need to send that to the state as soon as possible. I thought I had sent it to you, but it appears it was sent back to me and to my spam folder because your email wasn’t set up as of yet when I had forwarded it to you.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Thursday 1/28/2022 10:01 AM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
Mr. Lavezzo,
Thank you for the reminder. I didn’t even realize I had yet to sign off on the videos. These are yearly, or simply a one-off? Asking for future caffeine preparation.
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
James Lavezzo
Thursday 1/29/2022 10:52 AM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Miss Fenn,
Since you are an office worker and not expected to be in the field with the contractors and other staff like myself or Mr. Bennett, the safety video was only upon initial hire as per required by the state. If you were to be promoted, it would be taken under consideration if you needed to be reacquainted with the video.
Unfortunately, the other videos are a yearly occurrence and sometimes more often if the need arises. We’ve only had to show the cyber security video a few extra times a couple of years ago when there was a huge phishing scam going around. The servers at the time were being upgraded and there were several attacks on clerks in your position. No one bit, but we decided after that we would require its perusal once again. Since then, we’ve been golden, and you seem too smart to fall for most scams. Not to fatten your ego, but you’re probably one of the more promising new clerks we’ve seen in years.
Oh, and by the way, there is another form I forgot, but that one can wait. It’s just paperwork on photography inside the building, nothing too terribly horrible. We don’t allow photographs from the press inside unless they sign papers allowing it. It’s a private business, so we retain the rights to any photographs of workspaces and employees. We simply ask you to agree or disagree with being photographed. I’ll send it along promptly.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Thursday 1/28/2022 11:12 AM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
Mr. Lavezzo,
Thank you again, but please call me Auden when it’s just you and I, even in email. Seeing Miss Fenn written down is strange for me. My last employers were very laidback, and we even had little nicknames. Since my name is so close to Audrey Hepburn’s, they used to call me Ann, her namesake from Roman Holiday, one of her most famous films.
I know that was a little random, but it is what it is.
I’ll be waiting for the paperwork patiently, though I will need to spend some time in the filing rooms on floor 3. If it’s important enough, I can send you my cell number. I keep it silenced, but I’ll feel the vibration.
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
James Lavezzo
Thursday 1/29/2022 12:24 PM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Audrey,
I don’t want to know where you keep your vibrator.
I know you can’t see it, but I’m smirking at you.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Thursday 1/28/2022 12:36 PM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
Jim!
You can’t see it, but I’m cringing on your behalf. Hard.
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
James Lavezzo
Thursday 1/29/2022 12:41 PM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Hard? *smirks even harder* Well, Auden—or should I call you Ann now? I can be a bit of a jackass, but if you want to make this a more relaxed thread of communication between us. I’m all for that. I’ll confine it to saucy repartee until you’re ready for the subtle thirst that is my go-to and strength. I’ll let you mull that over for a minute before you need to cool yourself off at the nearest water fountain.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Thursday 1/28/2022 1:51 PM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
Holy smokes! You better be damned glad I read that after I went down to the second floor! I would have dropped the files I was carrying, you twit!
You can’t see it, but I’m giving you a dirty look. Now let me get back to work so I can sign your forms before I leave.
And quit distracting me!
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Tuesday 2/2/2022 1:11 PM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
Jim, just emailing you to ask a question. The bank I use doesn’t have any branches within 20 miles, so I need a suggestion, and Aunt Mary is useless. She’s been using the same county bank for a million years, and even that’s too far for my taste.
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
James Lavezzo
Tuesday 2/2/2022 2:26 PM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Well, to be perfectly honest, f**k the banks around here. I always go with credit unions. Lower interest rates on credit cards and loans, and they’re nonprofits so they have lower overhead than banks, which saves you money in the long run. Banks owe you no loyalty. f**k ‘em.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Tuesday 2/2/2022 2:45 PM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
Whoa. You okay? Such hostility against the banking industry…
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
James Lavezzo
Tuesday 2/2/2022 3:02 PM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Nah, I’m good. Just frustrated with my computer. I think there’s something wrong with it. I restarted it about five or so times and it’s still slow. Cleaned up the disk, but I think I’m going to bring it down to IT and see what they have to say about it.
Hope they don’t look at my history. Porn everywhere. That s**t sticks with you around here.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Tuesday 2/2/2022 3:05 PM
To: James Lavezzo
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
WHAT?
I’m coming up. I’m pretty decent with computers, old man.
And stop watching porn during work hours.
Auden Fenn
Clerk II
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5510
James Lavezzo
Tuesday 2/2/2022 3:010 PM
j.lavezzo@cbc.com
To: Auden Fenn
a.fenn@cbc.com
Jeez. I was only kidding.
Jim Lavezzo
Personal Assistant
CB Construction
Office: 831-545-5556
Auden didn’t get that last message because she was already on her way to the 5th floor to check out Jim’s computer. She didn’t know if he was serious about the porn, but it was Jim. He was a consummate flirt, so anything was possible.
Racing up the steps instead of waiting for the elevator, her heels clicked loudly in the echoing stairwell as she muttered at his stupidity under her breath. When she pushed through the door to the fifth floor and turned sharply to the right, she almost ran into a senior clerk and proceeded to apologize for her clumsiness. The other clerk nodded their head but looked visibly annoyed. Auden winced as she passed by and hoped they didn’t come into contact too much in the future. And hopefully the next time they met, the senior clerk would have forgotten about this.
Jim was coming out of his office looking agitated. He saw Auden coming up with a frown on her face before stopping dead in front of him and crossing her arms. “Tell me you were kidding about the porn. Please.”
He hushed her, his hands held up as he tried to get Auden to lower her voice. “Quiet. I was only f*****g kidding. Geez. You must be fun at parties.”
Her nostrils flared. “I’m a goddamn hoot at parties. Let’s go into your office so I’m not making a scene when I open your browser to some s*x worker’s well-used v****a in my face and scream in terror. The walls are pretty thick in there, right?”
“Jesus,” Jim muttered under his breath before he was following her into his office and closing the door. It was immediately quiet, though there was a slight muttering through the eastern wall where another office was located. “Let’s keep it down a bit. No screaming. Clay is in a meeting with a new client.” He pointed to the adjoining wall.
She nodded and went over to his desk to sit down in front of his laptop. The chair was too high and she fixed it to her liking without bothering to ask him for permission. She was irritated with him, and it showed. Whether or not it was because she could possibly open the screen to a shot of p***y, no one but Auden knew.
“Okay, so what is it doing besides running slow?”
Jim shrugged his shoulders and raised his hands. “No idea. It’s fine if I don’t touch it for a while, but the longer I use it, the slower it goes until it’s pointless to even try to use it. It would be quicker looking up books in the Dewey decimal system, to be frank.”
“Alright then.” She bore a serious look and tilted her head before frowning. “You did a disc cleanup. How’d that work out?”
He looked at her, deadpan. “You’re here, aren’t ya?”
“Right,” she muttered. “Next question. Have you checked to see what tasks you’re running?”
“Tasks?” Jim looked confused. “What?”
“The applications that run automatically when you start up, along with things like your browser or anything that’s going on in the background. Look.” She pressed control, alt and delete and watched the screen turn blue. Pressing the down button a few times, she hit enter, and a popup appeared. There were only a few tasks shown, including the VPN and his browser, but nothing that would have slowed his speed. “Okay. Nothing there. Cookies?” She looked up at him.
“No thanks. I had a late lunch and I’m trying to cut down on carbs.”
Auden bit back the urge to roll her eyes. “How is it you have a laptop and have worked at CBC this long and don’t know what cookies are? They are literally used for every website out there.” She looked up at him. “Don’t you ever see those ‘accept cookies’ popups they have on every other page you visit?”
He brushed it off. “I guess. I don’t know. I just click accept on half that crap. If it was dangerous, the system would pick it up and automatically close the window and isolate whatever fuckery was going on. Seen it happen with one of the newbs about 7 years back when I was new at this job.”
“Mmm, and do you know that every day, a new virus is born on these whacky things we call laptops and personal computers? We can’t be all caught up all the time on every new virus. Things can slip through the cracks even at the government level.”
“Well, true. Do you think this is a virus that’s slowing it down?”
“Maybe, maybe not. I do notice one thing as I’m clearing your browser history. Your laptop is way too hot. How old is this clunker? Does Methuselah know you stole his Dell?”
He snorted. “You’re a regular Anndrew Dice Clay, you know that?”
“Oh, I’m a laugh riot. Yelp gave me a 4/5 stars review at my last standup comedy routine at ‘Laff Trak’.”
There was a startled pause. “They did?”
“Dear, sweet, merciful…no. They did not. That was me being funny again. Do you get Dad jokes better? I can call up a few rest homes and have you in stitches by nightfall.”
“No, but I’ll listen to a dirty limerick if you have one.”
“I’m all limericked out—hey, what the f**k?”
Something had fallen onto the floor, and by the sound of it, it was metallic and small. Auden leaned forward and picked it up, realizing it was a small screw, one tiny enough to fit nicely into a…
Looking up at Jim with suspicion, she turned off the laptop manually and flipped it over. Indeed there was one screw missing, and she was able to pull back a corner of the backing without bending it. “You got a small screwdriver?”
“Miss Fenn, is that a come-on?”
“Yes. And then I’m going to use it to give you a piercing. You’d look good with a nice chandelier belly button ring.”
“Uhm, okay. Give me a second.”
He rummaged around in a drawer and pulled out a small set of screwdrivers. Why he had them in there, she could only imagine, but they looked unused.
“Thank you.” She started to unfasten the rest of the back panel while Jim nervously babbled on.
“So, I, uhm, was thinking about something for a while now. Wanted to know what you thought or if you would be interested.”
She sounded preoccupied, but she was concentrating too hard on unscrewing the back of the laptop. “Oh? What’s that?”
“I think it would be a good idea if you and I went on a date together.”
She dropped her screwdriver, the sharp end barely missing her foot before looking up at him, wide-eyed. “Wait, what?”
“You liked our kiss, and don’t tell me you didn’t. Me? I liked it enough to want more of them too. You made sounds that were pleasurable, and you kissed me back. Auden, you sank into that kiss.”
“Well, that doesn’t mean anything! I could have just liked the kiss. Kisses are nice.”
“Kisses are nice…” Jim scoffed. “Kisses are either wanted or not wanted. You could have stopped me, so you wanted it to continue. Don’t you remember that I was the one to pull back first? Did that little nugget seem to slip your mind?”
Making a sound almost akin to a growl, she struggled and got the back piece off before realizing what was wrong this whole time. “No. Jim, did you know that your cooling fan is unplugged in here?”
“It is? Well, I’ll be… I wonder how that happened.” He leaned in close and inspected it. “I’ll be fuckered. Can you fix it?”
“Sure. See?” She simply grabbed the piece and plugged it in, though the laptop was turned off and they would need to turn it on again to see if it would click on and start running. She did just that as Jim continued to talk again.
“So how about the date? Make it a dare. I bet you can’t get through a whole date with me without wanting to kiss me again. How ‘bout it?”
“Ugh, you’re impossible, you know that, right?”
Jim smiled and watched the laptop flicker on. Auden checked the panel and watched the fan whir to life. “How ‘bout it, kitten? Ready to—”
“Fine, fine, I’ll go on a date. Just please stop talking and tell me how you happened to—wait!”
Jim groaned and realized his error. When Auden had shut off the laptop manually, his browser had still been open, a few tabs still in use. When she turned the laptop back on and clicked ‘restore session’ on the same browser, everything came up. That included the YouTube tutorial on how to change out one fan with another.
Her eyebrows rose at him in a worrying way before he was smiling nervously at her. “How about Friday night? I’ll pick you up at 7?”
- Writer
