The Moon's Curse

Chapter 5 - Aunt Mora

SWINDON, MARCH 12th, 1872

Life can be a curious thing. One moment, you are soaring on the wings of your happiness, feeling foolishly invincible, as if nothing could ever tear you down. But in the next moment, your wings start to fall apart because you get too close to the sun, and you start to fall. And the landing can be even more painful than one could possibly imagine.

This is what happens to me when Felicity and I reach the house. For the whole way from the hut, we laugh and talk about how I have Ezra wrapped around my little finger. We are so enthusiastic and cheerful, excited about how our little plan is working, that seeing a carriage outside the house feels like a kick to the shin.

We both stop as we turn the corner, our smiles fading instantly. We share a worried look, realizing the worst has happened. My aunt came back from her business journey much earlier than we have expected. She left a day before my birthday, which was only a week ago. She said she would be gone for two.

I hold my head, shaking it violently. Felicity grabs me by my wrists and sends me a serious, stern look. “Oi, stop. Your head is going to roll off your shoulders,” she tells me gently, but worriedly. I force myself to do as she says, taking deep breaths. But the corset I am wearing is making it harder to get some air and, all of a sudden, I find my knees getting weak.

Felicity grabs me and drags me back behind the corner of the house. We stop in a spot where no one can see us through any of the windows. She holds me steady, so I am able to catch some breath and stop being so nervous.

“It is alright. It will all be just fine. I know this is a surprise, but we will manage,” she tries to assure me. How does she expect me to believe her, when she sounds so unsure of her own words? I close my eyes, trying not to panic. Losing my conscience is the last thing I can afford in a moment like this. Someone might come by.

I let out a long breath, shaking my head again. “How do you know that? She is back a week too soon. Do you have any idea what could happen in a week?” She doesn’t reply, but her silence tells me more than a thousand words. I answer my question myself. “That’s right, in one week, I would get my fun with Ezra, then forget about him like I never even met him,” I whisper-yell. I am still being careful with my tone because I don’t want to risk anyone overhearing our conversation.

Felicity breathes out sharply, staring at me with a frown on her face. I know she doesn’t like anything about this situation, especially not what I just said. “We can still pull this off, do you hear me? Just act normal around her. I know you can do it,” she whispers back, looking around as if we aren’t alone, before continuing. “We are going in now. It’s a good thing we chose to enter through the front door. Imagine if your aunt saw you in the kitchen.”

“I probably wouldn’t be given supper for a week,” I guess in a dark tone, my eyebrows furrowed. Felicity gifts me with a compassionate smile, before taking the basket out of my hands. She nods to herself as another plan starts forming inside her head. I can tell she is working on one by the look on her face.

“Alright, here is what we are going to do. I will enter through the back door, and you will go through the vestibule. Wherever she is, it is best if she sees you entering through the front door, like the Second Lady of the house is supposed to.” I nod to myself, feeling much better now that we have worked one thing out. But there is still something bothering me.

“What do I tell her, if she asks where I have been?” I want to know, biting my lower lip nervously. Felicity thinks for a short moment, snapping her fingers as she gets an idea. Her brown eyes brighten up and she smiles victoriously.

“Just say that you were in the stables or taking a walk by the forest … No, stick with the walk, you don’t reek of horses,” she suggests, and I nod. She then finally lets go of me, knowing that I won’t panic and stop breathing again. “Good luck,” she adds in a serious tone, making me sigh.

We part ways, Felicity going behind the house, while I go to the front and enter it through the front door. The moment I pass the flower room, I notice a familiar figure inside it. I try to walk past it, pretending that I didn’t see my aunt in there, when I hear my name being called. I stop in my tracks, trying to convince myself that I am only imagining things.

“Sophie,” I hear my aunt’s voice, this time a bit more sternly. I turn around, peeking into the flower room. She is still standing by one of the tables with her back turned towards me. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. I can’t believe she didn’t even bother to look at me!

“A-Aunt Mora?” I stutter, cautiously walking up the few stairs that lead into the room. She turns around with a stern expression on her face, her gray eyes glistening at sight of me. She places her hands on her hips, shaking her head elegantly.

“Are we now avoiding our aunts, young lady?” she scolds me, almost leaving my mouth hanging open. But I mind my manners just at the right moment, quickly shaking my head in response.

“Of course not, Aunt Mora. I just didn’t see you in here. I meant to look for you in the Billiard or Drawing room,” I explain, lying through my teeth. She watches me with her dark eyebrows furrowed for a few moments, before opening her arms and inviting me into her embrace with an inviting expression on her face.

I walk towards her hesitantly, putting my arms around her like a good niece. “It’s alright child. I know you wouldn’t just stride past the room if you saw me in it,” she says, stroking my hair with her long, thin fingers. “Happy birthday, by the way. I hope you spent it well even without my company,” she then adds, suddenly releasing me from my embrace and hastily turning back to her flowers.

I am a bit surprised by the sudden change, but I am used to those by now. She always does things her own way. I guess we are a bit similar in that. “Yes, it was alright, quite pleasant. Mrs. Spinster had the kitchen maids bake some delicious pastries. I even got a bouquet of daffodils from her,” I explain enthusiastically, but she seems as if she isn’t even listening to me anymore. I try not to be too disappointed, so I decide to let it go by asking about her journey. I am desperate to find out why she came back a week earlier than she said she would.

“How was business? Did everything go according to plan?” I ask, curiosity evident in my voice. I notice how her shoulders stiffen, but she doesn’t turn around when she relaxes them either. She keeps tending to the flowers while speaking.

“Yes, it did,” she simply says. I try not to be too frustrated, but it proves to be quite difficult. She never tells me anything about her business, no matter how much I am bugging her. I am tempted to pressure her until she reveals the reason behind her early return, but I know it isn’t a very wise idea. She suddenly turns around and looks up and down my clothes sternly. “Why are you dressed this way?”

I freeze, realizing that I am wearing the simplest dress that I own. One that I might have even borrowed from Felicity, but my memory starts failing me from my aunt’s penetrating gaze. I could swear my head begins to hurt as she stares at me. I need to make something up quickly, because I truly don’t want to know what scenarios are crossing her mind at the moment.

“It is … I am … Oh, forget it, I don’t want to lie to you,” I stutter aimlessly, shaking my head at my own clumsiness with words. I heave a sigh, trying not to feel too nervous under the pressure of her stern gaze. “I helped the maids carry the food to our field workers,” I finally admit, mumbling the words in hopes she would misunderstand them.

But my aunt doesn’t leave anything to chance. Her bony fingers find my chin, lifting my head so I am forced to stare into her eyes. I don’t think I have ever been this close to her. Her terrifying stare is sending chills down my spine. “I beg your pardon?” she asks ever so politely, but her voice is as cold as the winter breeze reminding one that spring is still a few days away.

I gulp nervously, realizing that I am in desperate need of some air. “I-I helped the maids carry the food to our field workers,” I repeat myself, trying not to let my hands tremble as I speak, but fail miserably.

My aunt lets go of me with disgust written all over her face. She locks me into a silent stare down from which I can’t escape, no matter how badly I want to. My palms are cold and sweaty at the same time. I have never been so scared of my aunt in my entire life.

Suddenly, she places her hands on her hips again, shaking her head with disappointment written all over her face. “I can’t believe you. Haven’t I repeated myself enough during all those years that I kept you under my roof and fed you? Educated you? I made a lady out of you, so you would never have to work as a maid. Yet as soon as I am gone, you go and do the one thing you were never meant to do,” she speaks quietly, but solemnly.

After breathing out a long sigh, she leans her hands on the table as if she were looking for support. She shakes her head at herself, staring at the flowers, but her gaze is empty. I press my lips together, realizing how badly I have hurt her.

“Aunt Mora, I am so sorry-” I begin, but am cut off by her raising her palm at me. She keeps staring into nothingness, slowly lowering her hand back to the table. I keep my mouth shut, knowing that I can only make things worse if I speak up now.

“All I am doing for you … I am trying to give you the best life you could possibly have. I am doing everything in my power to raise you as my brother would have wanted to … To let you become someone respected in this society, not to have people looking at you as if you were dirt on their shoes,” she speaks, making me stiffen. She rarely spoke of my parents, but when she did, it always hit me right in the heart. Oh, if only she knew what I have been trying to do. What would she say then?

I feel my hands starting to tremble again, nervous that she could figure that out as well. She was always good at reading me. Why wouldn’t she be able to tell what is going over my head now? I gulp nervously, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear, while trying to find something to say.

Her eyes suddenly pierce through my head, making me jump in surprise. She then narrows them at me, as if knowing why I am acting this way. Oh, no. She knows. She knows how nervous I am. My worst fear is coming true. What if she also knows … No, she can’t possibly. There is no way.

“What is the matter with you? You are so off. What are you nervous about?” she wants to know, suddenly straightening up and staring down at me. My aunt is a very tall woman, taller than I am, and I am not considered short for a girl either.

I don’t know what to say, so I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind. In a way, it is also part of the truth. “I am worried about my future.”

Taken aback, my aunt stares at me for a long moment, before finally asking: “What exactly about your future are you so worried about? I won’t be dying anytime soon if that is your concern.”

I gasp, shaking my head in disbelief. “Don’t say such things, aunt. You can’t leave me so soon,” I tell her, holding a hand over my chest. “I am … I am talking about myself. In less than a year, I will become of age. I will have to be responsible, I will have to think about finding myself a husband, I … It will be my last call to live the life I want to,” I continue, making things up as I go.

My aunt watches me in confusion for a few moments, before suddenly smiling at me softly. “Oh, Sophie, you need not worry about such things. Nothing is wrong with a girl if she isn’t married before she turns eighteen. Age doesn’t express one’s maturity. You are doing just fine as you are,” she consoles me. I smile back gratefully, happy that she bought my explanation.

“Thank you, Aunt Mora. You always know how to make me feel better,” I tell her.

“Don’t mention it,” she responds, taking my hands into hers and holding them tenderly for a few moments. Then, her face suddenly grows serious. “Now, go find a maid to help you change out of these hideous clothes and find something proper for your status. I can’t have the Second Lady of the house walking around as if we can’t even afford to have dresses sewn. I am the most powerful merchant in England, after all. My niece needs to look the part,” she says, winking at me before letting go of my hands and turning back to her flowers.

Smiling, I leave the Flower room. In a way, I am glad that she came back a bit earlier. I have missed her immensely. The house feels so empty without her. I know she can be stern, but she is still my aunt and I love her more than anything. She is the only family that I have.

A tiny voice inside me laughs, mocking me for keeping secrets from someone that I hold so dearly. It makes terrible guilt appear inside me and I can’t get rid of it even as I find myself in a fancy dress that is more to my aunt’s taste. The maid doesn’t say anything, but I know she can notice how grim I look. I close my eyes for a moment, telling the maid to leave, because I am tired.

As she closes the door behind her, I truly do feel exhausted. Sitting down on my bed, I let out a long sigh. Why has everything become so complicated? If only I wasn’t my aunt’s niece … No. I am asking myself the wrong question. Who called Ezra into my life? And why can’t I get him out of my head?

Groaning, I let myself fall backwards, my head hitting the covers on the bed. I truly need to figure out a way to forget this boy. If I don’t, I am writing myself up for some serious trouble.