One Night

Chapter Seven- An Undeserved Guardian

I had spent two weeks in my downward spiral of self pity. Not a second passed in which I didn't cry while missing Lila to even Luke. I was cruel to them both, even if it had been in different ways, the guilt had remained the same. No amount of alcohol, no concoction of pills, not even an array of strangers in my bed would help me retrieve my daughter; because of this, I instead decided to pick myself up. My chance to make things right with Luke had been dwindling with each second that had passed. With this in my mind, I moved to my door to leave before seeing Nate on the other side. He wore that same idiotic smile as if he had gotten away with murder…

"Well hello beautiful." I cringed at his attempt to be cordial as he pushed his way into my apartment. 

"What the f**k do you want?" I asked without any attempt to hide my animosity towards him. He had only ever seen me lustful or tearful; never this pissed- and it was about time he did. 

"To make arrangements for you to see Lila."

"Whatever it is you want me to do, you can forget it. I won't do anything for you or to you and if you stay in my apartment another second I will scream bloody murder until you leave." Hoping my threat would be enough, I quickly moved to the door before he just looked at me with amusement. Deciding to make good on this threat, I moved to open my mouth before watching him rush me. Setting my arms hard against the wall, he applied enough pressure to make my arms go numb. 

"I have this entire city wrapped around my finger...as well as our situation. You should be a lot nicer to me if you want to see OUR daughter." Disgusted by the idea of sharing a child with this bastard, I spit on him-making him lose his grip. "Why do you have to be such a b***h?!" 

"What are you going to do to me that i haven't already done to myself?!" I screamed at him as he moved across the apartment and to my kitchen, making himself at home by pouring a cup of coffee. 

"That's the thing...I don't have to do anything to you because you have already done it or will do it. You are a never ending cycle of being a f**k up. A hot one, but still a f**k up. But you don't have to make it so hard on yourself." Pulling the coffee to his lips, all I could think about was how I wish there held poison at the bottom of his cup. 

"I wanted to offer you the chance to see Lila...if you stop acting like you have rabies!" He commented while spitting out the coffee and tossing the cup into the sink as it broke into a few pieces. 

"Why? You wouldn't do it unless you get something out of it."

"I have my reasons. Now do you want to see her or not."

I paused. I felt like a rat in a cage that was slowly closing down onto me. But I hadn't seen her in weeks, I would give anything to see her; even change her diaper.  A wicked smirk increased across his face as he led me to his car. 

"Where is she?" I asked before looking back to him, only finding he had ignored me and slid into the car. With the lyrics of slipknot blaring in his car, I winced in thinking what I was about to endure; but if I could see her for a second then it would be worth it. 

We spent twenty minutes with the yelling of his favored band while I removed my thoughts from him and focused on Lila. By the time the music finally ceased, he brought me to a lavish house that I had never seen before. 

"I bought this for us." He spoke before pulling himself from the car. Within seconds, we were at his door and he slid the key inside as I heard the familiar cooing of Lila. Without a second, I rushed to the sound and found her in the arms of his ex-wife. By now, we were well aware of each other.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked as she picked up Lila and moved to Nate's side. They appeared as a twisted divorced duo that seemed to get off on my pain and confusion. 

"Unless you place charges against Luke, this is what Lila will know to be her parents."

"You sick mother-"

"That would be you. The drinker. The drudge."

"The w***e-" his wife chimed in. 

"I still have a right to see her."

"And we're giving you that. But on our terms."

"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with?" I asked as tears formed in my eyes. "Why do you care what happens to Luke?" I paused. "Unless he intimidates you-he must...because you still have that shiner he gave you!" Suddenly I felt my oxygen get cut off as I was forced against the wall via my throat. 

"You are as fragile as I've made you and it takes two seconds to take whatever sad version of a life you've made and turn it into complete chaos. I am giving you a chance to see your daughter and you are just making things complicated." I could feel the vessels behind my eyes begin to tighten as black specks showed in my vision. Seconds away from losing consciousness, he released me onto the ground. 

"Say goodbye to mommy Lila." Nate's ex-wife spoke before pushing me from the house. Tears filled my eyes as I moved from this house. Without any knowledge as to where I was or even a pocket of change to make a call, I was left walking until I reached a familiar location. However, distracted by my thoughts I had ended up at Luke's hotel. 

Without a choice of going anywhere else I gave a light knock upon the door-only to receive silence. Desperate, exhausted, and in tears I began to beg for him to listen to me. 

"Please Luke, I know I messed up and I was an i***t but I really need to talk to you. You were right about everything you said about me. I did give up and although it doesn't make it right, I want to do right by Lila now...and you." I rested my forehead upon the door before hearing keys jingle behind me. 

"Why don't we talk inside?" He asked as I let out a sigh of relief. As he closed the door behind us both, he then noticed some markings on my neck and moved quickly towards me. 

"What happened?!" He interjected before I could answer. "Nate did this...you said he never put his hands on you.."

"Until today he didn't." A tear left my eye as I spoke this fact to him. "I am so sorry about everything. But I need your help."

"Okay." It seemed coming to him in my mess of a state had led to him forgetting the way I had treated him. "You need to calm down though."

"I can't...he is stealing Lila from me. I can't tell you that I'm a good mom and deserve her but I want to try to be. I'm doing the best I know how to…"

"I know…" he tried to console me by placing his hand on mine, and this led to me resting my head on his shoulder. "Just tell me what happened."

And so I did; every dramatic detail and every tear I cried before ending up at his door. I could tell by the time I had finished that he existed with the same amount of anger as if Lila was his own flesh and blood. 

"Okay...there is no way in hell I am letting Lila end up under his guardianship...or you to ever have to be alone with him again."

"What are you going to do?"

"It's actually where I was before you came here…" with these words, he then pulled a key from his pocket and lifted it to my view. 

"I don't-"

"If you want her back, you have to prove you have the best option for her...that apartment you have...it won't show that."

"You bought me...you bought me an apartment?" I sat stunned, unable to fathom what this had meant. 

"Us actually. Whoever takes your case will want stability and so what's better than a happy couple in a nice apartment, with jobs and money and enough love for Lila to grow up on?"

"Why are you doing this? I mean...I was horrible to you and you bought me an apartment and are trying to help me…"

"Because I have my demons too. You went through an entire pregnancy by yourself. And whether I was the father...I was responsible for making you think I could have been. I should have been there until we found out. You shouldn't have had to do that alone."

"But after one night...you have treated me so well and I've…"

"No matter what you said that night, I always knew it was more. I'm not saying love.. just more than a random hook up. It's been a long time since I've felt connected to someone else. And I don't want to lose that." He paused. "But you have to work with me-not against me. I'm not a bad guy-"

"I know. I'm just trying to figure out what I did to deserve you in my life."

"Maybe what you've done isn't as bad as you think...And I hope you don't judge my sins for the same reasons."

I nodded and took him into an embrace. It must have been the first in my life that wasn't marked by s****l tension. Sure, we still desired each other-but right now he knew I needed him in a way more than that, and I could feel he needed me in that same way as well.