BAD Boy

Jacqueline I've had it with this s**t. No more doormat, no more Ms. Goody Two Shoes. I picked up my phone from the mattress beside me. Only one person I know who will understand how I'm feeling without judging me. Without bringing up my past like a mallet to beat me over the head. One little slip in judgment when I was eighteen years old and I have to live like a nun forever. Well f**k that the habit's coming off. I'm lonely, horny and pissed the f**k off. No almost twenty two year old is supposed to feel like this. I'm not a bad person. I mean I have done some f****d up things in my life but who haven't? So why does that one little mishap get to rule the rest of my life? Meanwhile Jake Summers gets to go on with life as usual. So what I lost my cherry in the backseat of his mustang on the football field? Big deal. And so what if deputy Smalls caught us and made a big stink about it? So what if mommy and daddy had to hear about it along with half the town? Who then felt it necessary to spread it to the other half. That was four long years ago and I've decided that I've been punished enough. Didn't I have to give up my scholarship and go to the local community college because momma and daddy forbid me to leave? Apparently getting your cherry popped by the town's bad boy in the backseat of his souped up ride was a taint on your character for the rest of your life. Not only that it was the gateway to hell to hear them tell it. The only good thing about that whole deal was that I was able to finish my four-year degree in three. That'll happen when you've been cut off from the rest of the free world for three damn years. Jake Summers! I still blush just thinking about him. He'd tried to contact me after that night but daddy had made threats, and since the sheriff was a good buddy of his, (more like daddy owned him) poor Jake had given up. But not without trying behind the scenes at least a couple more times. He had left town a few days later, hadn't seen or heard from him in three years. His sister Mindy had kept in touch but we had to keep our friendship hidden. Daddy didn't want any reminders of my shame as he calls it. Now Mindy has been badgering me about going out with her. She knows I'm not allowed but it doesn't stop her from trying every so often. I like hanging out with Mindy, it makes me feel closer to her brother somehow though she never talks about him anymore. In the beginning she'd brought him up every other second but when she realized how much it hurt me she'd stopped. I miss hearing about him but it was just too painful. He was the only boy I'd ever loved. Well boy might be a bit of a stretch. He was twenty-three when I was eighteen. Rumor had it that he was smart but he was drawn to the dark side, fast cars and motorcycles. When we met he'd just been home from college. It was hard to believe he'd actually been, he just didn't fit the profile. Leathers and tats did not spell alumnus if you know what I mean. But talking to him made me realize just how much you should never judge a book by its cover. Jake was insightful and knowledgeable about a lot of things. Too bad that wasn't enough for daddy when the s**t hit the fan. All he saw was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who wasn't even good enough to walk in his little girl's shadow. He'd run him off, the only man I'd ever felt for and in the last three years proceeded to parade the sorriest bunch of assholes this side of the Mississippi before me every chance he got. I fixed him though, fixed him good. Every one of them went away knowing about my sin. I might embellish the truth a bit, saying that the incident had made the newspapers. And since most of them were mama's boys out to please they ran like a scalded cat. Daddy had fits but what could he do? He finally took note and stopped bringing them around about six months ago. I don't know what's gotten into me. For all intents and purposes I've been cool with my lot. But now school was over. I can go out and make my own way. I'm no longer dependent on my parents to take care of me and by rights I'm a grown woman. I want out. I refuse to spend another night reliving the heat and passion of my one encounter. When my kitty gets wet the next time I want there to be something more than memories to get me through. I wish I knew where Jake was right now. Maybe I'll ask Mindy, maybe he would still be single and have been pining away for me the same way I've been yearning for him. Yeah right. No one that looks like that can stay single for that long. Who am I kidding? My heart hurt just a little at the thought of it. But what did I expect? Jake had been a man when we met. A man who packed a punch even then, I could only imagine how much he'd improved with age, and experience. Thoughts of my Jake with anyone else could usually send me into a melancholic haze for days on end. Those are the days I hated daddy most. I've cried enough tears over Jake Summers to flood the Mississippi and I'm sure before my life is done I'd cry even more. Because if there's one thing I know, there'll never be another like him for me. I hadn't known him when he lived in the area before and was the school quarterback. He was five years ahead of me in school after all, and besides I never got to hang with the cool kids. That summer when he'd been home for the last time I'd been tutoring his sister Mindy who is just a few months younger than I am. I'd taken one look at him that day when he came into her room where we'd been studying, and lost my heart. Daddy had no idea who it was I was tutoring of course, or where it was. He would've had ten fits if he'd ever known. For him the pride that his beloved daughter had been chosen as a tutor her senior year was enough. And I guess he thought the school held to the same ideals as him and put like with like as he calls it. In that token he would never have expected them to pair his unblemished lily-white angel with someone of a lesser pedigree. As I've grown and matured I've come to realize that daddy is a heel. I watched the lone mosquito flit around above my head and I tried to drum up the courage to make the call. If I did this there was no going back. I have never in my life defied daddy in anything. There's no doubt that he would hear about it if I went out on the town with the sister of the man he blames for my fall from grace. There was a war going on inside me. I could taste freedom on the tip of my tongue, but fear held me back. I don't have the first clue about being on my own. I've never had to fend for myself before. As the only child and daughter of Gary and Sandy Willoughby I have been pampered all my life. Daddy expects me to toe the line until the grave, which means following his every dictation. Something I've done with the exception of that one night. That one fateful night that was the beginning and the end. He'd been so gentle, so kind. Nothing at all like the bad boy who spoke rough and gave me looks hot enough to destroy my panties in ten seconds flat. I must admit looking back I'd followed him around like a puppy all summer. That first night watching him with his sister, the playful way they interacted with each other. Something sweet had unfurled inside me. I'd wanted that with him, wanted the attention. Only when he'd turned his attention to me the intense heat in his gaze had been anything but brotherly. And when he smiled at me for the first time and his dimples were on full display, I knew he was going to be the father of my babies. My ovaries had spoken.