Victorian Nights: The Arranged Marriage

Ashamed

Three Years Earlier...

“You should be ashamed Vera”

My mother’s expression was that of anger, she didn’t care if I was hurt and didn’t bother to ask, all she cared about was the fact that…

“How can you be a suitable Crown Princess if you can’t even handle this simple task?”

I stare at the broken shards of glass on the floor covered in my blood. My mother wants me to learn the art of balance so she would put thin and light glass cups on my head and tell me to walk around with it. So far I have not been able to do as she asks as I always end up breaking the glasses, each time I get cut and each time I get reprimanded and each time I get punished for not being perfect.

My eyes burned with unshed tears as I felt the pain that came from stepping in glass.

“You are very ungrateful!” she said, she grabbed my chin and raised it up, making sure my eyes were looking into hers.

“Do you know how many people would kill for this opportunity you have right now?” she squeezed my chin harder as she spoke and I felt the tears slip down my cheeks. She seemed angry at the sight of my tears, not worried…not guilty.

I never wanted this opportunity.

I wanted yell it out to her, I wanted to shout it out on every rooftop.

I stayed silent, I cried silently.

“What are those tears for? You entitled b***h!” she let go of my chin and the slapped me, hard.

My ears rang and my head hit the table next to me with a loud bang, my vision became blurry after that…I could hear my mother’s voice faintly but I did not understand a word…it was like she was far away from me and speaking.

Soon my vision went dark and the ringing in my ears stopped.

When I finally woke up I was still on the floor, the same spot I passed out in, the only difference was that the room was empty and my mother was no where to be seen.

This was the room she had created so she could teach me the way she wanted to without the prying eyes of others as she had said.

She said she would treat me to be a perfect princess and a perfect queen.

She wants nothing less than perfection.

I have to be perfect.

I sit up slowly and use my fingers to massage my throbbing head, it ached terribly.

I felt a bit of wetness at the side of my head and when I pulled my hand back to check my finger tips were covered in blood.

Well, that explains the headache.

Still that was not important because my nerves were already all over the place from what I knew would come next. My mother has never taken these kind of incidents lightly, there will have to be a punishment…so that I will never repeat my mistakes.

I take in a shaky breath, the door opens and my mother walks in with Miriam following behind her.

She is carrying a tray, black smoke emerges from the coals in the tray and I could feel my heart pounding a tattoo in my chest.

“It is good that you have woken up” My mother says. I try my best to stand and dust my dress, making sure I look presentable.

My mother walks to me and uses a finger to lift my chin, she turns my head and observes the wound on the side of my head.

She tuts and shakes her head “We’ll have to make sure this doesn’t leave a scar”

Her finger leaves my chin and she signals Miriam to come forward with the burning coals. Miriam drops the coals in front of me after my mother moves away, I stared into the red hotness of the coals and tried to steel my heart for what my mother would make me do next.

“Well, you know what to do Vera” my mother says, sounding impatient and bored.

This is not the first time I have been given this punishment and I know it won’t be the last but still…my heart ached that my mother won’t even feel sorry for the pain she has been putting me through.

I inhaled deeply as I put my first foot on the tray…and then the second.

My feet burned, the searing pain almost made me cry out but I knew that it would only make things worse if I showed any signs of pain.

I felt my skin give way as the hot coals burned through my flesh.

“Who are you?” My mother asks just like she always does when she knows that the pain is getting unbearable.

“I am Vera…Vera Dacre” I said through gritted teeth, my fists were clenched tightly and my sides and I could faintly feel my nails biting into my skin but yet the pain from my feet clouded my senses.

“And?”

I raised my head and looked into my mother’s eyes, hoping to find a bit a pain or maybe remorse for what I was feeling but yet…nothing. She looked at me like I was a student being punished…not like a mother looks at her child whom she loves.

“I am the future Crown Princess and Queen of the Celestials” I said with a sob. My mother’s eyes narrowed but she stayed silent.

She nodded at Miriam and she quickly walks to my side and helps me off the tray. My mother had already turned around and began to leave the room.

As I stared at her retreating back, I didn’t fight the tears that streamed down my face and the sobs that escaped my lips…

Miriam patted my back softly and tried to console me, my feet hurt but what hurt the most is my heart…she never even looked back, she never bothered to turn around despite the fact that she heard me cry.

Miriam had brought the first aid kit and was busy trying to clean and disinfect the burns under my feet.

My mother like this particular punishment because no matter how many time she makes me stand in those hot coals, no one will ever know…no matter how many times it scabs and scars, no one will ever see it.

She hardly ever hits me on any part of my body apart from my feet. A Crown Princess is supposed to have a flawless body and skin as she always says.

“You should not be discouraged dear” Miriam says as she tends to my feet. I had stopped crying because I had lost all strength.

I flinched every time her finger came or the cotton wool came in contact with my skin.

I looked at her, she was staring back at me with compassion and affection…the same emotion I’ve always wanted to see in my mother’s eyes.

“Once you get married to the prince, things will be better” She says.

I sigh “How can you be so sure Miriam? How can you be so sure that things will be better? I already know that nothing will change whether or not I marry the prince because I am not destined to be happy…” I felt the tears well up in my eyes again.

“I don’t deserve to be happy…” I whisper. Miriam shakes her head and takes a hold of my hand, she squeezes lightly and then oats the back of my palm.

“If you decide to surrender to unhappiness then it will have you Lady Vera…you have to be strong, you have so much to live for…so much to look forward to and soon you will have a husband who will care about you and show you the world” she says, the warmth of her hand warming both my hand and my heart.

Miriam only ever follows my mother’s orders, she never has a say in the matter but still she tells me everyday that things will be better soon. I only ever got motherly love from her, I am grateful for her but at the same time I wish she was not sold to my mother as a slave.

That way she would’ve had a will of her own and be able to make decisions for herself.

“You will be happy because you out of everyone I know deserves it the most Vera”

She pulls me into a hug but soon pulls away in fear that my mother might appear at anytime.

“Why does she hate me so much?” I ask with a shaky voice. This question has been on my mind for so long, why does my own mother hate me?

“Oh dear…” Miriam says, her voice filled with sympathy.

“It isn’t possible for a mother to hate their offspring Lady Vera, it’s just not possible” I wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince me or trying to convince herself on the matter.

“Try to get some rest my lady” Miriam wrapped my feet in bandages after putting cooling herbal salves on the burns. I felt a bit better but my whole body was shaky with exhaustion because of the pain I had to endure.

Miriam helped me to my room and made sure to tuck me in bed before leaving. I would not be able to walk around properly for the next few days but I already knew that first thing in the morning tomorrow my mother will come back for me and I will start training all over again.

As I lay in bed deep in thoughts, I heard voices outside my bedroom door.

I got down from the bed, I hissed as my feet touched the floor but still I made my way to the door.

“She isn’t ready!” the unfamiliar voice gave me goosebumps, the person sounded agitated, frustrated even.

“She is!” another female voice said. “She now knows pain, she now knows suffering, her soul is ready for the harvesting!” they weren’t whispering but having a loud argument. I wondered why no one had come to speak to them…although they were speaking words I didn’t understand.

Harvesting souls?

They were directly outside my door considering how close their voices were.

“She hasn’t suffered enough, can’t you see?!” The other person had yelled out “She isn’t any close to snapping and her eyes are still pure…we shall resurrect our master with the best souls, Joinger!”

I wondered who they were talking about, I also wondered if they were speaking about a novel of some sort…but they both sounded like they knew what they were saying.

“Vera isn’t ripe yet! Once the time comes, I will harvest her soul myself!” The creepy voice said and I felt my blood go cold at his words.

Vera?

Were they talking about me? About my soul?

My heart pounded harder by the second, I reached for the doorknob, wanting to open the door and see just who these two people were.

Just as my hand reached the knob, it twisted and the door was pushed open.

I held my breath as the door opened, my eyes widened as I I saw Miriam in front of me, she was holding a tray…my lunch.

“M…Miriam?”

“What is the matter dear?” Miriam seemed confused at my reaction, the door was still wide open and I looked into the corridor…it was empty, there was no one standing there apart from Miriam.

“Are you okay my lady?” Miriam asks, sounding worried.

“Where are the people that were arguing just now?” I ask her.

Miriam shakes her head “I don’t understand dear, who was arguing?”

My back was covered in cold sweat as she spoke.

“The people arguing in front of my door just now…” I say in a low voice, I look at the door again…no one.

“There was no one in front of your door when I came in my lady” Miriam sounds stressed, she gave me a strange look. She drops the tray on the bedside table and then walks back to me and places her palm on my forehead…it feels cold.

“Oh dear…you’re burning up”

She helps me lay down on the bed and tucks me in again. “You need rest Lady Vera, I will get you some medicine for the fever”

Then she leaves the room. I lay there silently staring at the ceiling.

It isn’t any fever…I know what Iheard, I wasn’t just imagining it. 

Only one thought came to mind…Dark Creatures.