FALLEN PROMISE

CHAPTER 18 “NOSTALGIA 2”

“I’m not the right man for you, Victoria,” Nestor said, casting a sorrowful glance at her afterward.

“No! That’s not true!” she firmly responded while desperately trying to calm Lucas, who had begun crying even louder.

Nestor zipped his bag closed and slung it over his shoulder. “Take care of yourself, Victoria. I know Lucas will grow up to be a good person. As I told you, I’m glad he came into your life. I pray you’ll be fine,” he said before leaving her.

Victoria’s sobbing intensified. As she held the baby close, it seemed he could sense and share the deep pain that felt like it was slowly killing her heart.

“He left us, Lucas. Your father left us,” she said, wiping the tears from the baby’s small cheeks before hugging him tightly again.

The pain she felt was overwhelming. She felt as if she were dying at that moment. She could feel a sharp blade slicing her heart into tiny pieces.

The tears streaming down her cheeks were unstoppable. She looked at the handsome baby, who had now stopped crying. A warm feeling washed over her heart.

“He’s right,” she said, finding a beautiful reason to smile despite the pain. “I have you, my child,” Victoria added.

In many instances, if Lucas weren’t in her life, she might not have endured the sadness. Despite the inhumane sorrow she was experiencing, she needed to be strong. For her and her child’s sake.

The news of Nestor leaving her quickly spread throughout Eldoria. Because Victoria was known for being helpful and kind, she wasn’t entirely alone. Her friends and neighbors didn’t abandon her, especially Sinang and Dolor.

Victoria was busy at the stove, stirring the toasted rice in the pan that she was turning into coffee. The scent filled the air, bringing back a flood of memories from her childhood. She looked over her shoulder and saw her mother, Loleng, holding Lucas in her arms.

“What a handsome child,” Loleng commented, her voice filled with admiration.

Victoria felt an unspeakable longing for her mother that suddenly sprang up in her heart. The truth was, she had a feeling that longing had been there for a long time. It was only now that she became aware of it. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say that it was only now that everything became clear to her. The reason for all her rebellion, the reason why she had left her mother, was no longer in her life.

“It smells good,” Loleng remarked, catching the scent of the toasted rice Victoria was cooking. She was making coffee. “You still love this coffee,” her mother said with a smile, looking at her.

Victoria just nodded at her mother’s comment. In her heart, there was an undeniable longing for her mother, which now intensified even more.

“Let me take Lucas, Nay. Have some coffee first.”

After making coffee for both of them, Victoria saw that Lucas had fallen asleep in his grandmother’s arms. Victoria smiled at the sight. Loleng handed her the baby, whom she gently laid on the bamboo floor covered with a mat.

“Thank you for visiting,” Victoria began.

They sat across from each other, sipping coffee. They used to do this often, back when she hadn’t lost her way.

A kind smile broke across her mother’s lips.

“Come home, daughter,” Loleng said instead, taking her hand and gently squeezing it afterward.

It was only then that Victoria fully understood everything. And before she could voice what she wanted to say, Loleng spoke first.

“I know everything, daughter. Even though you left me and turned your back on me for a long time, I never forgot you. You were never out of my mind and heart. So I know everything that’s happening to you, and Nestor—” her voice filled with anger at the mention of his name.

“You never liked him, even before,” Victoria said sadly.

“Because I had a reason not to like him for you,” her mother said, looking at her meaningfully.

“Does that mean you know the reason he left me?” she asked her mother.

Loleng hesitated. “I don’t want it to come from me, daughter,” she said.

Victoria’s heart pounded wildly. If this is what her mother was saying, she was sure she would learn the reason for all this.

“What is the reason he left me, Nay?” Victoria asked.

Loleng lifted her mug and took a sip of coffee. Then, with sad eyes, she looked at her daughter.

“It’s not ‘what,’ hija. It’s ‘who,’” she said bluntly.

Victoria stood up. “N-Nestor has someone else? Who? Tell me, mother, who is his woman?” she asked hysterically.

“Calm down, Victoria. It’s not good to be like this over that man. Besides, you might wake your child with your noise,” Loleng admonished her in her usual calm voice.

Victoria, feeling ashamed, sat back down. Her mother was right. It wasn’t good to be hysterical over a man. And when her mother spoke this way, she knew she wouldn’t like what she would hear. She braced herself for what her mother might say.

She prepared herself for the feelings she might experience from whatever her mother might reveal. She was sure it would hurt. But she had no choice. If it was the truth. After all, Nestor had already left her.

“I’ve been watching over you, hija. Since you left me and decided to go with that man. Maybe I said things that were harsh. I cursed you that you would never have a child. But believe it or not, I took it all back. That’s why Lucas came into your life, right?” her mother told her.

Loleng’s tone was calm. That’s probably why everything she said pierced Victoria’s heart. Besides the fact that her mother was looking at her while speaking, it was one of the reasons she felt the sincerity in every word.

“I never liked him for you, daughter. Did you know that when a love hurts the hearts and feelings of your loved ones, there’s a possibility it’s not right?” her mother added.

“F-Forgive me, mother,” Victoria said.

Loleng just smiled. Then she gently wiped away her daughter’s tears. Victoria continued to cry silently. Preparing herself for the inhumane and traumatic pain and truth she might feel.

“You need to be brave for all of this, Victoria. For Lucas.”

“H-He doesn’t like Lucas, mother,” Victoria said, sobbing.

Loleng sighed. “I know everything, daughter. I want to tell you all of this. But I think it’s better if you discover it yourself. And that’s why I’m here. That’s why I came,” her mother explained.

“W-What do you mean?” Victoria asked in confusion.

It was only now that everything seemed to sink in. And now, it wasn’t just hurt she was feeling. Anger was also rising.

“I know where Nestor is now. Listen…”