Imperfectly enough

Away

My body felt numb, inside I felt like everything was shutting down. As I was walking down the street, people kept turning to look at me and those who weren't alone would whisper to each other. I think I looked like a zombie on the outside, just like I felt on the inside. I think I looked like a Bergen when they thought they needed to eat a troll to be happy. My inside felt as dead as run town in a western movie.  The way I feel, I just want to everything to end.

I reached my destination, it felt like I had been walking for months with no water,food and my legs were killing me. I rang the doorbell and waited.

My body was leaning on the wall, on the other side of the door, I could hear the sound of someone's feet approaching the door. I saw the door opening and the moment I saw who opened the door, I broke down and collapsed into her arms.

"Lisa?" Hearing my best friend Kate's voice felt like home. It felt like I could let go finally. I collapsed into her arms as we sat by the door. I let it all out and cried in her arms.

I heard her call out to her long time boyfriend Hayden. I could hear their voices but I couldn't make up what they were saying. I felt myself been lifted as Hayden  whispered 'we gat you Lee' that was what the two of them usually call me. He began walking and after some time, I felt the softness of what I assumed to be a bed. A blanket was put over me. The bed dipped and someone was stroking my hair until I fell asleep.

          …………………

I woke up to someone stroking my hair. When I opened my eyes, I found Kate looking down on me. She smiled at me when she saw I had woken up.

"Lee, I have a hot cup of tea waiting for you as the food is almost ready. I want you to take a nice warm bath and come and join us. Is that okay?"

"Ya" I said and cringed at the sound of my own voice. It sounded hoarse and as though I had a very bad cough.

Once she left the room not before giving me another smile,I sat up and my body protested with each movement I made. I looked around the room I was in, it was the same room I slept in everytime I came over.  I saw my worn-out bag near the dresser, it looked out of place. It was the very same bag my grandmother had used back in the day. I had found it abandoned with some of my grandmother's old belongings. When I had brought it into the house my mother had thrown a fit saying she never wanted to see it if I kept it. It was later I heard my grandmother never liked my mom. She thought mom was not good enough for my dad. She passed on when I was just months old, I hear she loved me. Her name was Melissa and those close to her called her Lee, hence, Kate and Hayden calling me that.

I finally gathered the strength to get up and head to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and as waited for the hot water to start coming out, I began brushing my teeth. I looked at the fragile girl looking back at me and she seemed like a stranger.

"Daddy! Look I'm flying" I said as I giggled as I was been pushed on the swing by grandpa. He was old but always played with me.

"Higher! Grandpa higher!" I shouted. I saw my parents look at me with smiles on their faces as dad waved at me.

That's a memory that haunts me because that was the last time I saw my parents happy together. From that day, they fought always and when dad left, grandpa would come and take me out. We would go for ice cream and play but, it was the only time I felt loved. Once home, mom would hit me and ask questions about dad and if grandpa gave me some money she would take it.

Grandpa couldn't get custody of me because at the time he was already very old and his health wasn't at the best point. I only spent a short period with him before he left me too.

I snapped out of my thoughts and finished brushing my teeth. I reached out to feel the temperature of the water and it was just right. I took off my tower and stepped into the shower. I got the shower gel and squeezed some onto my sponge, the air in the shower was filled with a berry scent as I always loved it's smell. Kate always made sure she had a bottle for whenever I spent the night.  I lathered my body and stepped under the shower to wash it off after making sure my entire body was covered. As I rinsed off another thought entered my mind.

"You ungrateful b*tch! What are you still doing here! Get the hell out of my house and my life!

All I ever wanted was my mother's love and I guess I was a mistake to her.

"Lee?" I heard Kate's voice on the other side of the door.

" I will be out in a minute."

"Okay, food is ready. We are waiting for you. "

"Okay"

I quickly finished taking my shower, when I entered the bedroom, it was empty. I got dressed as fast as I could.

When I reached the dining area, I found they were already sitting waiting for me.

"It's about time Lee! Kate won't let me eat without you and I think I have lost 10 kilos waiting for you" Hayden said in his whining voice.

"Well thank God you lost some kilos cause you got to fat." I answered.

Kate looked at him laughing. "Hey! Take that back! I'm all muscle here, right Kate? He knows all the-"

" Hayden if you finish that sentence I swear you won't see the light of tomorrow morning." Kate warned him and the shut him up as I burst out laughing. He looked like a little boy been scolded. We all knew he was going to say something really dirty and it's a good thing she stopped him. I felt a sharp pain as I was laughing and that stopped me as I winced.

"Lee? Are you okay?"

"Ya, I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Hayden asked.

"Ya. I'm okay you guys."

They exchanged looks that showed they didn't believe what I was saying  but, I chose to ignore.

After our meal, I tried to help out as much as I could. Whenever I tried to lift things, I would wince. And Everytime I tried to hide it, I would look up and see an angry Kate looking at me. I would assure both her and Hayden that I was okay.

We were sitting in the living room watching Grimm. We had been talking about watching the series and kept on saying we needed to watch it together but I never got the time to come and watch with them and I'm glad they waited.

I was laying down on one of the sofas while the two love birds were on the other one. They made the perfect couple and seemed to keep falling in love with each other despite been together for a long time. I have been friends with both since middle school, to say these two used to always fight would be an understatement. No one thought they could be a couple. They started flirting and showing signs of liking each other in high school but it was not until university that they officially started dating. They have been together ever since and moved in together last year. They have been there for me throughout my mother's evilness,they have been patient with me and been my support. They might not know everything but they have been there whenever I was ready to talk.

After an episode ended, I needed to use the bathroom. As I was getting up, I winced again.

" Does anyone need anything?"

Before Hayden could answer, Kate quickly got up and said she would get the refills. As our paths met, she held onto my left hand and swiftly lifted my T-shirt.