Chapter 4: Contract
1523 Words
For a long moment, I couldn't even speak. I couldn't even think. My mind was just a jumbled up mess of everything that was going on.
How was this possible? How had I managed to get pulled into this?
'You weren't pulled into anything,' my thoughts reminded me. 'You chose this all on your own.'
It was the truth. I had gone looking for Jacob Greyson. I had gone to the fertility clinic myself. I had followed him there based on the information that Aude had given me. I had caused all of this all on my own.
“Aude," I said, trying to get her to slow down.
Maybe I was just trying to get myself to calm down, though. I wasn't entirely sure. I just knew that what she was talking about wasn't going to happen, it couldn't.
I knew why I had gone to the clinic to try and get the interview. I needed to bring Jacob Greyson down. But the very reason that I had to do that, prevented me from being able to carry through with my entire plan.
There was just no way that I could carry a baby for that monster.
I wasn't pregnant yet, I reminded myself. I felt my heart beating faster than it ever had before, and I knew that I had to get myself to calm down. Nothing had happened yet, and there was no use in going on like anything had.
If I panicked, I wouldn't be able to find a solution to the problem. I knew that I had to be calm.
“Aude," I said again, and I felt like I had a better control of my voice, I thought that I sounded calmer and firmer. “I don't want to do this."
But as the words came out, I realized that I really didn't have that much control over my voice like I thought I did.
I realized how I sounded, how petulant and how immature. Not in my voice, that I had a good enough control of that it didn't sound too bad. But in my words. I had signed a contract, I had gone to the clinic on my own. No one had forced or coerced me. No one else had even known about it.
And now here I was, trying to back out of something that I had already agreed to do. There was just no way that it was the right thing to do. I had signed a contract of my own free will. For my own personal reasons, of course, but I had signed one nonetheless.
But the truth was that I hadn't gone there to be Jacob Greyson's surrogate. I hadn't gone to him to offer my services. I had harboured some ulterior motives for what I had done. And though I couldn't exactly explain that to anyone, I wasn't going to just give in and do what I had said I was going to do.
Because it had never been my intention. I was never going to carry this man's child.
And though no one knew my intentions, I didn't think that it would help explaining it at this point. I knew Aude would think terribly of me no matter what I said. It wouldn't matter if I told her the truth behind my intentions or not. So I decided I would rather just stick with saying what I had been.
I had changed my mind. I didn't want to do this anymore.
“What on earth are you going on about?" Aude asked, her voice clearly incredulous. “Do you have any idea how many women in the world would kill to be in your place right now?"
That was perfect. Then any one of them could call the devil's spawn then.
“Then it shouldn't be too hard to find a replacement," I told her hopefully and firmly. “But I can't go through with this, I just can't."
There must have been something in my voice that sounded a little off, because Aude was quiet and she didn't press the issue any further.
“I think that you should seriously consider your options here before you do anything drastic," Aude said simply. “Just take tonight to think about it. Don't do anything else, don't think about anything else. Just think about what you agreed to do."
I wanted to tell her that I had already made up my mind, and that no amount of dwelling was going to change what I had decided. But I also knew that wasn't the best thing to do.
Aude was my friend and she was just looking out for me. I knew that the best thing to do would at least let her think that I was being sensible in all of this. I knew that I had to look at everything from her perspective, and from her perspective, I looked a little chaotic.
If I was being very honest, I looked a little chaotic from my own perspective, too. But I at least had a plan that I knew that I was following. And this was definitely not a part of the plan.
“Alright," I promised her anyway. “I will at least think about it."
And I did think about it.
I thought of backing out. And I thought of how I was going to do it. I'd spent the whole night thinking about it. The first thing I was going to do in the morning was call the fertility clinic and apologise, and say that I was sorry but I just wasn't ready, I'd been expecting it later, and this was all so sudden, etc. I would never be able to get off work in time, it was only something that I had been thinking about. I would say whatever I had to say.
I would make whatever excuse I could, but I just refused to go through with it.
I couldn't carry Jacob Greyson's baby.
The thought of a part of him growing inside of me, after what he'd done to my sister. I couldn't and I absolutely wouldn't. I knew the repercussions of it, though. I knew that I couldn't just tell him that I wouldn't help him and expect it to be something that he was just alright with.
There would be consequences to refusing Jacob Greyson.
I would never get an interview with him after this. He would never even look at me again. I knew that was what was at stake here. And as much as I wanted justice, and to expose him for who he was, I couldn't do this. I just couldn't go through with carrying a part of him inside me.
As much as I wanted to bring him down, I couldn't do it this way.
It was nearly ten in the evening when I glanced at the clock. I normally stayed up late anyway, working on whatever article I had to work on for that day. I was a reporter, I always had deadlines.
But tonight felt strange. It felt like I was up later than I should be. And I was about to close my laptop and head to bed when my phone rang. I didn't know the number, but that never stopped me from answering a call. I was a reporter, anyone could be calling with a hot tip or a lead on a story. I always answered, no matter what.
“Hello?" I said into my phone.
“Hello, is this Mila Smith?" the voice on the other end asked, it was smooth and soft. And for some reason, I felt like I knew the person on the other end of the line, and that I just couldn't place him.
“Yes, this is she," I answered.
I was used to that question already. People always confirmed that it was me before they told me what they had to say. Though I was always so confused why. They had no proof that it really would be me on the other end of the line, so why bother with the question in the first place.
“Who am I speaking to?" I asked before the person had a chance to continue speaking.
It was just a standard question I asked, more often than not, so many people refused to tell me who they were. If they were giving me some information, they were always afraid of blowback.
It was why I hadn't had a chance to pin down Jacob Greyson just yet. Everyone was always terrified what he might do to them, even though no one said it. That was why even though I knew that he must have so many crimes against his name, there was almost no evidence against him.
Powerful people were just like that, they inspired people to be silent out of fear without having done anything at all.
So I didn't really expect the person on the other end to answer the question, people almost never did.
But the person surprised me.
“Oh," he answered. “This is Jacob Greyson."
- Writer
