Online Love, Offline Hate

Chapter Four: Amy

Amy Exner turned off her Range Rover and opened her door. She was about to step down from the large car when her phone flashed with a notification. A text from her dad.

“Good evening, my sweetheart. I hope you’re fine. I didn’t want to call, perchance you were sleeping. I would like for you to attend a business lunch with me tomorrow. I know I should have informed you earlier but I forgot to. Forgive me. If it’s possible for you, then I’ll send the driver over. Let me know if you’ll be able to attend. I love you. Good night.”

Amy smiled at her phone. Her father was the Chairman of the largest construction company in the country. Her father had started Exner Construction with her mother over thirty years ago. Her father’s charisma, talent with people and business combined with her mother’s efficiency and vast knowledge of the construction industry had created Exner Construction, which she was the heir to.

While her mother stayed out of the public eye due to an illness, her father became the face of the company. He was known as an astute businessman and an indomitable will. But very few people knew him for the cute panda bear he was.

There was no message Amy received from her dad that didn’t have an “I love you” included. Despite the fact that he was incredibly busy, her dad always made time for the family. She never lacked love and time from her father. The fact that she was an only child only increased the attention she received.

Entering the house, she was immediately greeted with the aroma of beef and potatoes wafting out of the kitchen. She walked to the kitchen and saw her mom busy at the stove and winced. She was to make dinner today but had gotten carried away at practice.

Amy looked around the kitchen to see if there was anything she could help with but the table was already set. All that was left was the food.

Testing the waters, she greeted. “Good evening, mom.”

“Welcome, Amy. How was your day?” came the reply. She didn’t seem too angry. In fact, she didn’t seem angry at all. Strange.

“It was fine. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“I’m almost done. Wash up, then come eat.”

“Okaaaaay.” Amy said, leaving the kitchen and escaping to her room. Very strange.

Normally, her mother would have been fuming that Amy arrived late without calling ahead. But instead of anger, Amy met calmness. It seemed very strange.

But as she stood under the spray of the shower, she began thinking maybe it wasn’t that strange after all. She had been miserable due to the match her team lost and while her dad had spoken with and reassured her on several occasions, her mom remained silent.

Amy knew it was not because her mother didn’t care. It was because her mom didn’t show or rather, didn’t know how to show affection through words. The dinner may be her mother’s way of cheering her up.

Jumping out of the shower, she dressed quickly and rushed downstairs. She sat at the table and looked at the plate below her and immediately confirmed her hypothesis.

This was not a normal dinner. Her mother had pulled out all the stops to make this. It looked so beautiful she didn’t even want to eat it. She decided to try her hand at conversation instead.

“Uhmm…Mom, how was your day?”

“It was fine. I worked on some designs today.”

“Really, how did it go?”

“Very nice. I have a broad idea in my mind. I’m just trying to figure out the direction the design should go.”

“That’s good. I’ll take a look at them later.”

Amy’s mother was an architect by profession. In the early days of Exner Construction, she had been the one drawing most of the projects done by the company. When the company took off, she became more of a supervisor and business adviser. This continued until five years ago when her mother suddenly suffered from a stroke.

It came as a shock to everyone in the family as her mother was perfectly healthy and in her early forties at the time. Despite making a full recovery, her mother chose to retire mainly due to consideration of her father. Although she didn’t work professionally anymore, Amy’s mother drew from time to time and her father loved to indulge her by bringing her drawings to life.

 “You want to take a look at my drawings?”

Amy looked at her mom and burst out laughing. Her mother’s eyebrows were basically in her hair. Amy understood perfectly. She had no interest in architecture whatsoever and her mother knew. Her asking to see the drawings were out of guilt of arriving late and not preparing dinner.

Stifling her laughter, Amy asked, “Is that so weird?”

“Yes, it is. It’s very weird. Did a ball hit you in the head at practice? How was practice by the way?”

“It was fine.” Amy said. She picked up her fork and started eating her dinner. It was as delicious as it looked. “Mom, this is wonderful. It’s really good.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Amy’s mother said. She also picked up her utensils and dug in. There was no conversation for a while as the duo focused on their food. It was until over half the dinner was cleared on both their plates that Amy’s mom spoke up again.

“How are the girls?” Volleyball had been a sensitive topic for her daughter ever since their disastrous nationals loss. As a mother, she had been worried about the state of her daughter’s mind. The announcement that Amy would serve as this year’s captain only worried her even more.

And unfortunately for her, Amy’s mom wasn’t the type of person to open up and speak about her feelings. That was her husband. But she didn’t want to use that as an excuse anymore. While she was making dinner, she had gone over the words she wanted to say over and over again. She hoped everything went well.

“They’re fine. Everyone’s motivated and excited for the new year. We’re really hoping we get some skilled recruits.”

“That’s good to hear. You’ll be in charge of conducting tryouts this year, right?”

“Right. I spoke to the team and we’re hoping we’ll be able to hold the tryouts in the second week of school.”

“It’ll be pretty exhausting. Your responsibilities will also increase throughout the year. You’ll need to pace yourself.”

Amy didn’t reply. She had the feeling something was wrong. She had been feeling something was wrong since she arrived home but the feeling just intensified. Her mother was acting strange. From making a show-stopping dinner to making obvious statements, something was wrong.

“Amy… I know you’ve had a hard time lately because of the way your nationals campaign came to an end. It’s been very hard to see you struggle with blaming yourself for the loss and it had also been very relatable.”

Amy watched silently as her mother picked at the food on her plate. She understood how difficult it was for her mother to talk about such issues because it was also difficult for her. They were similar in that way and in many other ways as well.

“When I had my stroke, despite what the doctors, your father, and everyone said, I blamed myself. I felt like I should have noticed the signs, like I should have paid more attention to my health, exercised more, ate healthier and everything else. I blamed myself.”

Seeing Amy open her mouth to protest, her mother held up a hand. “I didn’t say it was right. But I blamed myself. And as you well know, that’s what caused my depression. And that, of course, worsened the whole situation.”

With a sigh, she continued, “Amy, I love you. More than anything in the world. And I might not say it often but you, your happiness, your dreams, your joys, everything that makes you you…they are the most precious things in my world. In your father’s world as well. And like I’ve experienced, trying to be perfect, excessive worry over things that are not in your control; they only rob you and the people around you of joy. I want you to be happy, Amy and seeking perfection does not bring happiness. Loving people and being loved by people is what brings true happiness. So, Amy, live and love and be happy.”

Amy looked at her mom with watery eyes. She had no idea when she started crying but she was crying.

“Mom…I…thank you. Really. Thank you.” Walking over to her mom’s side of the table, she wrapped her arms around the older woman. “Thank you, mum. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll try…I’ll…”

Nothing much was said after that. It was a rare moment for both of them, one they would never forget.