Aldous
I stop myself before the doors, my breathing is hard and I must look like a wild man in my desperation to see my heart again. Breathing deep I calm my racing heart and close my eyes, she needs me to be strong and calm. My torment has to take a back set before I scare her even more.
Once I am comfortable I have regained an acceptable composure I carefully turn the handle and call out “It’s only me” as I open the doors. Thinking that any surprises will only unsettle her just now.
My mother is sitting on the sofa reading as I look in but Eleanor is not with her, noticing my panicked reaction my mother raises her finger to her lips in a quiet motion and nods her head in the direction of my bed.
As quietly as I can I walk over and look at her. In my absence it looks like my mothe
