Before Heaven

Chapter 6

V

Next day. Riveting. Nothing else had happened excepting another assembly on Paradise and another close shave with Billy. There was a nightmarish reveal about Billy, too; the rumors were true. The Association had made it clear America's legal system wouldn't be able to touch Billy so long as he was a part of the project, and Billy had taken that to gleefully confess. He was a murderer. Three times over, of the homeless, way back in New Jersey. He seemed convinced it'd been a good thing, as well; his description on the circumstance that had prompted him to kill each varied. Some of them were apparently rapists. Other apparently carried the Black Plague – a mere footnote in this day and age compared to the Phantom. One had apparently been the long-lost son of Adolf Hitler, to which Billy retracted his claim a day later and claimed he was somehow Hitler himself. The most common excuse, however, was that they were all just "sub-human filth" that leeched off the good working folk like him (despite the fact he was unemployed when he'd registered, kicked out of a Wendy's for being too threatening towards the customers and forced to live off the funds of his partner in New Jersey). Whatever it was, Billy was firmly convinced that the people he'd murdered had done something innately wrong. In his polluted mind, that reassurance was enough to justify the murderers. I suspected he didn't have a conscience. We all did. Apparently Billy had found someone to kiss his ass, after all – or, rather, someone to help him make others kiss his ass. Her name was Leliah Shaye – #73 – someone who'd registered from up in bloody Romania. She apparently wasn't Romanian, though; the closest Red Clover could gloss by analyzing her records was that her mother was apparently a merchant in Persia. She had the look of every slimy, wicked, conniving creature conceived by man, more a villainous cartoon than a human being, her verdant green eyes almost reptilian as they shot from valuable to valuable, likely considering to herself how much they could be worth on the open Romanian market. We were already getting three-hundred million – why would she want any more? Her skin, tan, seemed like it would be free of imperfections if it weren't for various minute bruises and scars in them, probably from various other ill-fated expenditures, her black hair covered in some weird glistening film that further convinced me she was a salamander posing as a human being. I half-expected her tongue to be forked and little plumes of diabolical smoke to ebb out of her nostrils as she sat glaring atop a pile of gold and jewels. It was a face only the mother of Grendel could really appreciate. She retained that she appreciated a man who was honest, shameless, and shallow; that's probably how she and Billy had found each other. There was a luster in Billy otherwise numb blue eyes whenever he looked at her; truly, it was a match made in the fiery depths. Good Lord, did I not need any more cause to stay away from Billy. Regardless, at 9:20 PM, I decided it would be an opportune time to visit Jenny.

Once again, the change rooms were empty and stunk of mold and rot. I sincerely considered putting in a report for that putrid-ass toilet. Chances were someone already had and the Red Clover staff was too lazy or unwilling to fix it. If it was the latter? I didn't blame them. I just plugged my nose this time and changed as hastily as I could, bolting out the door and into the shower room. The shower alleviated my stress and I considered going into the sauna. Maybe if I had someone to talk to. Alice, maybe? I didn't really think I was entirely comfortable hanging out with anyone in the nude, though; my prior experience with saunas told me bathing suits, even something as simple as swimming trunks, were better left out so the steam could get nice and groovy with your skin.

I let the shower soak into my back and turned it on for an extra minute after it stopped to savor the hot water. I intended on going into the cold pool, first, maybe get some exercise and chat with Jenny and Alice in there first before doing anything else.

I walked out to the swimming pool. It was 9:34; late enough that nobody else would probably want to use it but early enough that me, Jenny and Alice still had a fair amount of time to get whatever we needed to get off our chests. The pool was occupied by Jenny, who was once again floating on her back. Her head turned to me and she lifted her arm out of the water for a second to wave before splashing it back down and resuming her sleepy drift on the water. Alice was in the hot-tub, their glasses once again on and once again steaming up, this time from what I assumed was the hot tub's water. They saw me immediately regardless, straightened themselves, and walked out of the hot tub to greet me instead of waiting for me to enter the water.

"Hi," Alice said, strolling up to me. "You made it."

"I guess I did," I said. I admittedly was no closer to making up my mind about the escape than I was a while ago. To my relief, Jenny seemed content to relax for the time being instead of calling out to me about it as I was expecting. "How long you been here?"

"Only about ten minutes, no more," Alice said. "I'm nice and relaxed."

I grinned. "That's good to know. Jenny's looking content," I remarked.

"f**k yeah I am," Jenny said, suddenly. Alice took a look at Jenny floating about like a piece of wood in the water, yawned, and started back off into the hot tub. I followed suit, submerged myself into sweet, bubbling, liquid heaven, and allowed the day's troubles to come out as a relieved, five-second sigh which vanished with the steam. With everything in consideration, I was content, and I looked at Alice with a pleasured smile on my face.

"Any progress on this brave plan?" I asked.

Alice shrugged. "Well, most of that's being left to Jenny. She's still hoping you'll come along. You made up your mind yet?"

I shook my head. I'd given it a lot of thought over the day. I still hadn't made up my mind. "Nope. Maybe today's talk will change that."

Alice made a gesture with their head, then allowed themselves to sink back deeper into the water. "Hopefully. I trust you'll come to make the decision that's best for you."

I nodded. I considered things for a second, looked over at Jenny, who was still basking in the pool like a sunbathing seal, and decided to initiate a more casual conversation with Alice.

"How come you're wearing glasses instead of contacts, here?" I asked. "Don't you hate those things?"

Alice rubbed a bit of steam off their specs and dipped their finger back into the hot tub. "Uh-huh. I'll rent some goggles soon. Gotta wear these for safety reasons. If I lose a contact in the pool, I'm never getting it back – at least these you can fish out."

I laughed. "No kidding. Was it any hard griping with them in the open?"

Alice seemed to consider that question with more depth that they needed to. They sat themselves up straighter and looked me in the eyes.

"Sort of," Alice said, "but... that's just one of many things you learn to temper when you're living out on your own. Every day's a new challenge."

I frowned. I still didn't know how they were able to survive on their own through such a young age. "...It's not too hard out there for you?"

Alice grinned. "No, Jackson. It's challenging. The winters are frigid and the summers are harsh, but it's all worth it for freedom." They swam over to me, put a hand on my shoulder, and whispered in my ear, frighteningly close to me now. "I love being out on my own. I love judging what I want instead of having someone judge it for me. Everything I do and want falls to my decision. It's wonderful, Jackson, even in spite of how tough it is."

Alice refocused themselves so we were face-to-face, our damp noses just about touching. They lowered their head slightly, enough that I could see their eyes slit in a devious manner behind their fogged spectacles, eyeing me down to the soul. They were analyzing me, dissecting me from little more than a few words and an expression. My heart was throbbing; maybe it was because I just wasn't used to this level of physical contact, but Alice was almost hypnotic.

"Your parents are chains, Jackson. You've been living your life under the governance of decisions, their influence, their say. You're tired of that. You want nothing more than to be free – or, at least, to live a normal life. I'm correct, there?"

I hastily nodded, not sure of what to say.

"You'll be gifted three-hundred million," Alice said in an observational tone, as though they were narrating a wildlife documentary, "and your parents will likely take most of that. Jackson. If you decide you won't try and escape with Jenny, don't let this opportunity fail. Your parents set you up to a system against your will, but it's not too late to sever those chains, take the money, and do what you want."

I shivered a bit, barely in control of my own words by now. "A-And what do I want?"

Alice's grin peeled into a full, toothy smile. They came as close as they ever came to me, close enough until I swear she was attempting to push her physical form into mine, and whispered in my ear a word that resonated through my consciousness and briefly made me doubt if Alice was even human.

"Freedom."

The door suddenly opened. Alice swam back from me, I could hear Jenny groan and adjust herself to see who it was, and we all looked up to the door.

#48, I recognized right off the bat. Her name was Maxine Thompson, but she was partial to Maxy. She had lush, dampened black hair, a face that spoke of nothing more than perpetual contentedness with everything and everyone, and a soft face. She was in a black-and-purple two-piece, although her wear covered quite a bit more skin than Jenny's; she wore tight water shorts, about as long as my own trunks, and her top was more a waterproof crop-top. She seemed pleased with herself. Maxine, from what I'd seen, was one of the few applicants who was neither a seedy, suspicious stranger, an eccentric, or a greedy asshole. They were an acting student from Wrexham, Wales and she was passionately devoted to the medium of acting. Anything that had to do with it – theater, film, even just shitty clown jobs for a birthday party – was her cup of tea. She was also big on the m*******a scene, apparently. Alice had convinced me to sneak a peek at some of her documents in her room.

Item Request #1

Copy of Mrs. Doubtfire (that Robin Williams film)

Decision: Granted

Item Request #2

Marijuana-infused edibles – cookies

Decision: Denied

Item Request #3

Marijuana-infused edibles – brownies

Decision: Denied

Item Request #4

Marijuana-infused edibles – caerphilly cheese(?)

Decision: Denied (Addendum from Dr. Grave: Please stop sending in these requests, Maxine. We've enough trouble keeping Ash sated as is.)

Needless to say, a good laugh. She'd submitted another one, apparently, and she was still patiently waiting.

I could see Jenny visibly sigh as Maxine walked in, humming the tune to Star Trek under her breath. Evidently, she wasn't happy she'd been cheated out of some alone time. Why was Maxine even here.

"Evening," she suddenly said, giving me and Alice a wave as she suddenly strode into the hot tub. "Fine night for a swim."

I was confused. Jenny was swimming laps, now, apparently incensed and eager to ignore Maxine. I looked at Maxine with a weird look. "...Yeah."

Maxine gave me a knowing look, suddenly, with a smirk on her face that took me off-guard. "Jackson Winters. Son of Hilson and Betty Winters, the Ice Couple. Press treats you like crap, kid."

I scoffed. "Tell me about it."

"No worries, man," Maxine said, laying back. "I'm not a fan of your parents either. They're producers, too. Allowed a few good movies to happen. Allowed a few really bad ones, too. Their decisions kept Happy Madison afloat – God, I hope Adam Sandler's rolling in his grave."

I realized Maxine probably knew more about Mom and Dad's occupation than I did. Of course, I didn't care and didn't really understand what they did anyways; all I had to do was stand around and look marketable, after all.

"Not easy when everyone pays attention to you, Maxy," I said. "Mom and Dad might contest that. I say ignore them."

"Happily," Maxine said. "I don't envy you, Jack-be-nimble. I can say I take pity on your situation."

I smiled. "...Thanks. Nobody ever really realizes it's a pain living like this."

"At least you're not a child actor," Maxine remarked. Should have seen how Jake Lloyd went after his stint in the Star Wars prequels. Nasty stuff."

"No kidding," I said. "It's nice. Being privileged, and all? Not so much when nobody cares about you as an individual and your parents use you as a marketing device. Their own son."

I could suddenly hear Jenny breach out of the pool, dripping with water, and storm to the door. Alice, who'd been quietly listening to me and Maxine's conversation when she'd waltzed in, leaned over the hot tub's side and looked over to Jenny, concerned.

"Where are you going, Jen?" they asked. "Aren't we going to talk?"

"There's f*****g time later," Jenny said, averting eye contact with Maxine and balling her fist in and out in what appeared to be a sign of major anxiety. She briefly looked at me in the eye and stopped doing so when Maxine looked at her in justifiable curiosity. "J-Jackson, meet me in my room when you're f*****g done here."

With that, Jenny suddenly stormed out. Apparently she really was nervous around other people.

"Huh," Maxine said, seating herself back in the pool as if the ordeal hadn't happened. "That was the rare Jenny, huh? Sort of an anti-climax. Like the end of The Langoliers."

I sighed. "She's just... Me and Alice here have been having some talks. It's a private matter and I don't think she's comfortable."

Maxine shrugged. "Don't mind me, then. Don't want to intrude on the affairs of the young, after all."

Maxine snickered and I yawned. To be fair, I didn't really feel like getting out of the hot tub without a good long swim, first. It seemed a waste to get into the pool without spending any time, and it was only 9:48. There was a good deal of time left.

"Eh," I grunted after a bit of consideration. "Think I'll stay here a bit longer. I'm warm enough, so I think I'll swim laps. Want to join, Alice?"

Alice laughed. "Think I'm content to stay in here. Can't swim for the life of me, anyways."

"Take some swimming lessons," I said, getting out of the hot tub. I paused. "Or just sneak into a pool sometime. There are pools in Quebec, right? Or did the Canadian frost freeze it all?"

We shared an uproarious laugh. Maxine watched the affair with a degree of amusement hinted on her roguish features.

I got out at 10:11 PM after fooling around for a bit in the pool and I was swift to change my clothes. Alice followed suit and Maxine left herself into the pool, bidding us a calm farewell. I guess I could understand Jenny wanting to leave. I just inwardly hoped to myself she wouldn't be pissed over me being late (or simply the fact Maxine had disrupted our conversation in the pool before it had even happened). After drying off and changing into my normal clothes – I figured I'd just get into my nightclothes after I got back to my own room – Alice met me in the hall outside the pool, their glasses still on and their snow-white hair still damp.

"That was unfortunate," I said, not really sure on how to comment on the Maxine situation.

Alice shrugged. "Hey. Can't be helped, Jackson. Just can't be helped. Jen's waiting for you."

I sighed, hesitant for reasons I couldn't place. "You want to come with? They could use the extra support. I'm s**t with people's feelings and she seems... stressed."

Alice gave me a reassuring tap on the shoulder. "You'll be alright. She said only you, so don't mind me. I'll just be in my room if you need me."

I nodded. Alice's room was just down the hall from Jenny's room anyways. "Alright. See you later?"

"See you later."

Alice and I parted ways. The night wasn't over, though; my path to Jenny's room was brisk. I briefly caught eye of one of the applicants – wasn't sure who exactly – talking with a member of the bodysuit-clad security, but I didn't stop to tune into the conversation and they didn't notice me. My path to Jenny's room was otherwise undisturbed and I gave her door – shut, as typical – a little rap. There was a shuffling from inside as the door cracked open slightly and Jenny's brown eye peered suspiciously at me from the darkness. I figured that was probably how she greeted everyone. To my surprise, she seemed a little calmed down.

"You're late as balls, man," she said. I couldn't tell if her tone there was genuinely irritated or sarcastic.

I halfheartedly shrugged. "Just wanted to catch up with Alice for a bit. You gonna let me in, or...?"

Jenny seemed to consider the question for a moment. Then she opened the door, urged me in, and closed it as soon as I got inside, probably paranoid someone would take the opportunity to rush in or something. The room's layout was virtually identical to mine; bed and counter by the side, built-in computer and desk, bathroom at the end of the hall, and the like. The desk had two, pale blue pills next to an shitty plastic cup, which itself was empty. That was the applicants' "medication," mandatory stuff we needed to consume for reasons of protecting us against the energies or whatever. It was a flimsy explanation, at best; the whole goal of the simulation was to test Heaven's energies on us, right? Many applicants just hid the pills under their pillow, behind the computer, in the toilet, into the vent. Sometimes, Red Clover caught on and forced us to take them in front of them. Other times, they didn't. Jenny was apparently slacking on the intake.

Jenny sat on her bed, sighing. "Well. That was unfortunate," she said to me after fifteen seconds of silence.

I snickered. "Yeah. Sorry you had to go through that."

Jenny rubbed her face and eyes. "f**k it, y'know?" she said. "I just want to get out of this shithole. You decided on whether the f**k or not you want to get out with me?"

I shook my head. "Not yet," I said, as sincerely as I could.

Surprisingly, Jenny didn't impatiently snap at me. "...That's alright. Take some time to think, because f**k, I will in a few days."

"Why?" I said, confused.

Jenny paused, then looked me in the eyes. "Mom and Dad are flying in finally in a week."

I blinked. "They are?"

"Yeah. They were supposed to announce it tomorrow, but Mrs. Summers let me know ahead of time. Mom won't stay for that long, because she's technically not directly involving in the project, but Dad's gonna be staying. He's directing the f*****g project, so..."

I nodded. Silence grew between us for a bit before I looked at her. "...Does, like, anyone else know he's your dad?"

"Not any of the other applicants. Only the supervisors of the staff know and they're not supposed to say anything. I don't know, maybe five people know I'm immune at this stage in time and the only reason Dad's stopping that from getting loose is that he doesn't want any changes to the program. He doesn't want anyone's hopes raised... in case the f*****g program is a failure or whatever."

I sighed. "...It's a pain in the ass, isn't it? Your own parents controlling every bloody aspect of your life so nothing deviates from what they want?"

"That's exactly why the f**k I relate to you, Jackson," Jenny said. "Honestly... Who the f**k cares how rich and powerful you are? If you've got a kid, look after them. How f*****g hard is that?"

Jenny sighed and turned back to the counter. I watched her step off the bed, considering something to herself, before she walked to the counter and picked something out of the shadows. I quickly realized it was a picture, placed within a dusty wooden picture frame.

I quickly realized it was a picture of Jenny with her family.

It must've been taken years and years ago; Jenny looked no older than seven, her face bright, young, and cheerful, teeth missing in her gaping smile. Tara and Charles Waits had their ebullient child between two firm, parental hands. I'd seen pictures of both Charles and Tara before – part of the program, after all. As important figures in one of the most powerful organizations in the world, it was sort of hard not to know who they were. But the pictures I'd seen them in were washed in a muted gray, Tara and Charles' posture rigid and professional and their stoic faces drained of any real emotion. It was a business photograph, obviously. Looking at the people in the photograph – Charles and Tara both with massive smiles on their faces, as if nothing was wrong with the world – was like looking at two different people entirely. Everyone had a casual life, after all.

I smiled a bit as Jenny looked at the picture. "...You're cute in that picture, you know," I said with a light tone.

Jenny's hand caught me in the back of the head and I yelped, backing off and rubbing my head. Jenny awkwardly laughed, then looked down at the photo. "I've got good memories of our life, man. They do love me. Mom's never around but Dad always does his best to make some room for me. He showed me across the office. Right in the Association's headquarters in New York, a few years ago."

I blinked. "You've been in the Association's headquarters? No way."

"He showed me right the f**k off like I was just the greatest f*****g thing to ever walk on the face of the earth. Apparently, nobody had seen him act so... sweetly, before. He's always apparently just this gruff-ass white-collar, but he was a jar of f*****g honey when he showed me off."

I sighed, quietly, as Jenny continued staring at the picture. "I wish I could relate, Jen... Mom and Dad show me off too. But not as their kid. Just... Just a goddamned marketing tool. I'm more... an object to them. Something valuable I bet they can replace in a pinch."

"...I'm f*****g sorry about that, man," Jenny said, her voice genuinely pitiful for once. "I really am. I don't know how to feel about my folks at the moment. I think... I think Dad's just desperate."

"To stop the Phantom?" I asked, though I figured the answer was obvious.

Jenny suddenly looked at me with a face that spoke of things beyond just the fight against the Phantom. "...Yeah. I, uh..." She trailed off for a second, then sighed. "Just take a f*****g seat and listen, okay? This... This is some heavy bullshit."

I obediently sat on the chair that came with Jenny's desk. "I'm all ears."

Jenny took a deep breath, then looked back at the photograph. "...I had a brother. Jason. I can't remember him, but he was... real sweet. Sweet as s**t. Dad loved him. When the Phantom broke out, he was one of the first to catch it."

I didn't know what to say.

I could see Jenny's eye vaguely begin to tear up as she looked at the frame. "...Dad couldn't stop it. He wanted to. So bad. But he died, and... neither Mom or Dad took it that well. I was like, three or something when he died. But... you know, it's weird. I feel a connection to him. Just this real, stupid-ass connection to somebody I never knew except as a toddler. But it's just..."

Jenny gave up on words, gave a sobbing sigh, and pushed the frame back into the darkness as she walked over to the bed.

"I don't know," she said, trying to resist sniffing. "I don't want to be here. But maybe... m-maybe Dad had a point. Maybe he just doesn't want anyone to know the loss he and Mom felt and I'm just a selfish f*****g asshole for wanting run away."

Jenny fought back tears on her bed. I approached her. I pitied her – pitied Charles and Tara, in that moment. Some part of me wanted to place a hand on her shoulder, but I figured words could do better.

"...I'm sorry, Jen," I managed. "It sucks I can't say more than that, but... I'm sorry. For you and your family."

Jenny looked up at me, her eyes watering. "Jackson... Please. Talk to your parents, just... just f*****g anything to make them see you as a human f*****g being. I can see the merit, I guess, in Dad using me in this project... If your asshole magnate parents are using you for f*****g fame then they don't deserve a f*****g child. Just... please. Talk to them. And if they don't listen, don't take that f*****g s**t, man."

I quietly nodded. I hated my parents even more in hindsight.

"I... I will, Jenny," not sure if I'd have that courage.

Brief pause. Jenny continued crying.

"Good night."