NOT Corrupting The Good Girl

Chapter Five: Crushed

I frowned to myself as I wondered what to type in the message. I bit my bottom lip, crossing my legs as I sat down criss-cross applesauce. What could I say? What should I say? I hadn’t texted him back since yesterday… he was the last one who had texted me, after all.

I took a deep breath, before finally typing in ‘Hey’ and sending it. I quickly swiped home, leaving the phone on the bed in front of me and trying to regain control of my beating heart.

“Sooo as I was sayinggg-” Chloe sang as she walked into the room, having just come back from the restroom. I looked up, trying to ignore the small sound of my phone chime. Trying to ignore the want of seeing whether or not it was Justin that texted you back.

“His name is Liam. He is really cute, with blonde hair, and very nice- he even leant me his notes to take home! Isn’t that so sweet?” She gushed on, her brown frizzy and curly hair held back by a headband.

“Yeah, totally.” I said, my mind set on completely other things.

Chloe narrowed her eyes at me, her lips pursing. I was about to say I was just distracted when my phone ringed again and I glanced down with a swallow. She caught where my eye went, grabbing my phone.

I protested, “Chloe-“

She typed in my password. I scoffed, trying to get my phone back from her. She moved away, and I scoffed as I got off her bed. “Chloe!-“

“Ooooh, who’s Justin?” She sang out, waving the instragam chat out to me.

justmiller420: hey cutie :p

My cheeks flustered, “Jus-Justin is just a friend-“

“Just a friend? He called you CUTIE!” Chloe shrieked, a large smile spreading on her face.

I shook my head, reaching forward for my phone, and frowning when she moved it out of my reach. “Chloe, seriously-“

She turned around, typing. My eyes widened. “Chloe, what are you doing?!”

Both of us wrestled, my hands grasping for my phone out of her grip. I finally got it away, scolding her with a small glare which caused her to only smirk in triumph. My eyes widened as I saw the text that she sent:

EM: I bet your shirt is made of boyfriend material ;p

My body immediately flustered. Chloe giggled at my reaction, “Hah! You like him!”

“I do not! Like I said, he’s just a friend.” I objected, closing my phone and trying to ignore the fact she just flirted with Justin through me- which means he thought I was flirting back! What the-

“Okay, okay.” Chloe gave up on teasing me, making me sigh in relief as I went to unsend the message before he could see it. But then she spoke, making me forget to unsend the message. “How did you meet him anyways? What’s he look like?”

“Uhhh…” I stammered, before coming up with an excuse. “He’s Mona's friend.”

“Ohhhh. Let’s look at his profile!” Chloe said. I frowned to myself, suddenly aware that I had never really been on his profile. But…

She swiped the phone away, dragging me over to her bed and scooting closer as she tapped on his profile.

Justin Miller only had three posts. The first one dated back to six months ago. He leaned back against his car, sunglasses blocking his eyes as his pouty lips seemed to scowl. His muscular and toned body was decorated in a black long sleeve, his arms crossed as he seemed to glare at the camera. He wore black ripped jeans, the camera cutting off around his knees, his hair curled on his forehead in a very ‘Clark Kent’ type of way. The caption only read ‘nothing beats a good drive.’

Chloe gasped, looking at me in shock, “Emery! He’s totally hot!”

I pensively bit down on my lip, my eyes glancing from her and to the posts she scrolled through.

The second post dated back about three months ago. It was him sitting down on the edge of a sidewalk, the background unfocused as he held a lollipop in his mouth. He wore a dark blue turtleneck, his eyes trained elsewhere as his brown eyes seemed more like a caramel. The caption only had a lollipop emoji.

The next post was just him on the top of a slide. He wore black joggers, white and drawn on vans on his feet as he pointed two middle fingers to the camera, a tongue out of his mouth as he winked at the potential audience.

I huffed, taking away my phone and clicking it off. “So who’s the boy you like?”

“Oh, come on! I’m always talking about who I like! Tell me more about Justin-“

“He’s just some frat boy who plays football at Mona's college. He’s not Christian, and that’s all I know about him.” I said, lying completely. I knew so much more. I could write an essay from what I learned about him just the other day. I didn’t want her to even think about me liking Justin anymore.

“Hmm.” Chloe said, before continuing to ramble on about another subject.

It was six PM. I laid in my bed, wearing a crop top tee and cut sweatpants that were more like shorts now, staring at the message Justin had sent to me just hours before.

justmiller420: I bet yours is made of girlfriend material ;D

I shook my head, hating the way it swirled in my chest. It was making me feel like I almost couldn’t breathe… I felt like my heart was beating a little too strongly in my chest.

Finally, I started to type back.

EM: Sorry about the previous text, it was my fri|

I hesitated, biting down on my lip as I quickly deleted the message. Then I started typing again.

EM: Wyd? [what you doing]

Changing the topic was a better option, right? At least, that’s what I told myself. The truth was that I didn’t want to make him feel bad.

justmiller420: at a party, but its kinda lame

justmiller420: hbu? [how ‘bout u]

EM: I’m just at home, relaxing. Thinking of getting something to eat.

I sighed in defeat, plagued by the thought he had genuinely perceived that I had been flirting with him. I caved, texting him the explanation.

EM: About earlier, it was my friend by the way. She was just joking around. Sorry if you thought I was flirting…

I groaned as I sent it, immediately burying my face in my hands. It was mortifying- everything was just mortifying.

My phone pang. I quickly grasped it, going to check my DMs.

justmiller420: i knew it didn’t sound like u lol [laugh out loud]

justmiller420: tbh i don’t think that’s how u flirt anyways

EM: wym [what you mean]

justmiller420: i mean, u seem like the kinda person who would compliment my character or something for flirting

EM: lol I don’t think I’ve ever flirted in my life. I don’t even think I know how to.

justmiller420: well u can always practice on me if you want

I scoffed to myself before quickly replying back snarkily.

EM: You wish

justmiller420: oh i dream of it

justmiller420: u still hungry? what do u like to eat??

EM: I like to eat a lot of different things- sushi, pasta, pho, ramen, pollo loco, taocs… idk what I’m in the mood for tbh and we don’t have all those things just lying around. I’ll probably just make myself a sandwich.

My brother texted me, telling me he was going to be an hour more since he was out with his friends. I gave him a thumbs up in reply, going to lock the doors around the house and going back to my room. I glanced at my notifications, ignoring the slight disappointment from seeing Justin hadn’t texted me back yet. I sighed, looking down at the art supplies and sitting on the floor as I started to draw.

I didn’t even notice how much time had passed by- I ended up sketching a lot. I also check my phone, heard music... It wasn’t until I heard the doorbell that I jumped with fright, checking my phone and seeing it was already ten PM. There wasn’t any texts from Justin, Nate…

I was a little scared. Paranoid, maybe, of who would show up at ten at night. I grasped my phone, calling Mona.

She answered, “Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Heyyy.” She said.

“Stay on the line with me?”

“Uhh, sure. What’s wrong?”

“There’s someone at the door and I’m home alone.”

“At this time? And it’s not me? s**t… Get a knife, bro.”

My heart beat steadily against my chest as I approached the front door. “I’m not going to get a knife-“

“Emery! Get a knife!”

“Fine, fine.” My nerves got the best of me. I went in the kitchen for a second, grabbing the biggest knife I saw before I finally took a deep breath and opened the door quickly.

I raised a brow as Justin, clad in joggers and a black crewneck, as he held what seemed to be a bag of food. Justin’s lips were spread in a smirk, a brow raised as he looked down at me.

“Emery?”

“I gotta call you back.” I hung up on Mona without a second thought, looking at Justin with furrowed brows. “What are you-“

“I'm sorry for showing up out of the blue. I just thought I'd bring you food.” He held it out to me suddenly, and I pocketed my phone as I took the bag from him. He chuckled suddenly, making me frown. “What’s with the knife?”

“Oh. Well, it’s night. And I wasn’t sure if-“

“If I was a serial killer?”

“Well, yeah.” I dumbly stated, moving away from the door to put the knife and food on the counter. I returned to the doorway, smiling at Justin. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Anytime.” Justin smiled, going to turn away. Before I could stop myself, I blurted it out.

“Do you want to come inside?”

He turned back, his eyes lighting up as he looked at me. “I’d love to. I actually bought my own food too—it’s in the car. I’ll go get it and join you.”

“Okay.” I said, waiting by the doorway as I watched him go to his car and grab a bag of takeout. I moved aside, letting him enter the house and closing the door behind him. “What did you get me?”

“Open and see.” He teased as he made his way over to the dining table. I grabbed my takeout bag, following him over to the table and opening the white plastic bag. I looked at the contents with surprise.

“How did you know what kind of pasta I liked?” I asked, taking the foil plate out of the bag. It was fettucine Alfredo with chicken. It came along with a fork and knife, and a couple of breadsticks.

“I guessed.” I gave him a deadpanned stare. His smirk only widened. “A magician never reveals its secrets.”

“Okay, magician. Would you like a drink for our meal?” I taunted, going over to the fridge. “We have Diet Coke and Ginger Ale-“

“Ginger Ale is the best.” He said. I glanced at him with a smile.

“It’s my favorite too.”

I grabbed the two ginger ale soda cans, going over and handing him one. Our eyes met, the tension in my body increasing. My breath hitched as he reached out, our fingers brushing. I quickly pulled away, avoiding his eyes as my cheeks intensely flustered.

“So, uh, what compelled you to get me food?” I asked, sitting down opposite of Justin as he himself opened his own bag of food. I took note that he ordered himself chow-mein with shrimp and broccoli as he took the lid off the container.

“Because you’re my friend, remember?” Justin asked, his smile becoming a grin as he breathed in the scent of his food with happiness. I couldn’t help but smile at his childlike reaction, his eyes looking back up at me with delight in his eyes.

“Yeah.” I whispered, opening the can of ginger ale and taking a sip before going to eat the pasta he gave me. “Mm, this is really good.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He chuckled.

I glanced at him, before looking back down at the food as I ate.

“So what did you do today?”

I looked up at him with surprise. I mean, I feel stupid for feeling surprised, but it isn’t exactly the most ‘out there’ question.

“Well, I went over to my friend’s house-“

“The one that texted me that flirty joke.” Justin said, leaning back as he went to take another sip of his drink.

“Yeah, yeah.” I chuckled, nodding. “That’s the one. Er, well, I also studied and did some homework…”

“Hmm. You’re so responsible.” He said in amusement.

“Well, yeah. You have homework too, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but I don’t actually study.” Justin said, a smirk on his lips. “I just do enough to pass.”

“Huh. Don’t athletes have, like, a grade minimum, or something?”

“Yeah. Mona usually helps me out sometimes, and we also have our own little study group. But we end up just messing around.” Justin laughed.

“What do you mean?” I asked, curiosity peaking my interest.

“Well, we usually smoke or drink, whatever we feel in the mood for. Maybe just eat a bunch of munchies.” Justin shrugged.

“So you do that regularly?” I asked.

He looked at me, his eyes slightly narrowed. “When I feel like it.”

“Oh.” I felt a little disappointed. It almost made me dislike him…

“What? Does it turn you off?” He asked.

“I- Wha-what?” I stammered. Turn me off? I felt myself fluster up.

“Does me smoking and drinking turn you off?”

“Uhhh, I wasn’t turned on in the first place-“

“No, no. I mean, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?” I was extremely confused.

“I meant it like… do you still wanna be my friend? Or does it make you not like me anymore?”

“Well, it’s not like I would do it.” I said, looking away before looking back at him. “But it doesn’t make us any less of friends, if that’s what you mean. I mean, I’m really close with Mona too.”

“So you would say we’re close?”

I tensed. I shrugged.

Justin laughed, “Crazy how that works, doesn’t it?”

I took another bite of my meal, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. My body felt on fire, felt like I wanted to stare into his eyes yet avoid them all at the same time. “How what works?”

“Friendship. Relationships. Out of all the people I thought I’d enjoy my time with, a girl like you wasn’t exactly on the list.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” I chuckled dryly, trying not to let the fact the comment hurt show through my expression.

“You know what I mean. Come on, out of all the people that you thought you’d be here sitting with, it wasn’t exactly a college quarterback, now was it? Especially not one that’s in a fraternity, who drinks and smokes-“

“You’re right.” I said with a sigh. I realized what he meant- the hurt faded, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn’t help but smile at Justin as I admired his attractive features. “You’re not exactly the kind of person I envisioned myself being friends with.”

He smiled, his eyes crinkling with amusement. He raised his soda in a mocking form of a toast. “To unlikely friends.”

“To friends.” I said, raising my soda and tapping it against his as I played along. We both took sips of our soda, our eyes never straying from each others. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I couldn’t keep down the blush on my cheeks.

“So your brother isn’t home, right?”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t have invited you in if he was.” I took another bite of my food.

“Oh? That hurts my feelings-“ He scoffed.

“Well, he’d probably beat you up-“

“I don’t think so.” Justin laughed, making me scowl and give him a pointed look. Justin laughed again, “Yeah, let’s change the subject.”

I scoffed to myself, disliking what he insinuated.

“What gym do you go to?” He suddenly asked. My feelings of dislike for the joke he made faded, almost a little too easily. I didn’t like the effect he had on me.

“I go to Planet Fitness. You?”

“I have a membership there too.” Justin said with a smirk, “Wanna work out together tomorrow?”

“Uh, well… what time do you work out?”

“In the mornings. Around 6 in the morning.”

“Oh, that’s really…”

“Early?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled, surprised at the time. “I’m not that much of an early bird.”

“Well, if you change your mind… just let me know. I can always stop by and pick you up.”

“Oh, uh…” I played with my hair, clearing my throat. “I’ll think about it.”

“Cool.” Justin said, eating his food. We were almost done.

My phone pinged- my brother texted to say he was on his way home.

“Your brother?” Justin asked.

I nodded, “Yeah. He’s on his way back.” I looked at the time with a small gasp, “It’s already eleven-thirty?”

“Okay, I probably should go.” He started packing up the rest of his food, putting it in the plastic bag.

“Yeah.” I got up, going over to the door as I walked him out. “Thanks again, for the food. It was nice seeing you.”

“Yeah, it was definitely nice seeing you too.”

My heart fluttered. We both stopped at the door as we looked at each other. My breath caught in my throat, my eyes locked with his in some trance I couldn’t escape. I swallowed, studying every little detail of his face. I somehow murmured aloud, “You’re really pretty.”

Justin immediately smiled, looking down at the floor bashfully before looking back at me. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Heh.” I laughed nervously, tensing as my body flushed for what felt like the thousandth time today. “Um, well then I guess this is goodbye.”

“How about see you later instead?” He leaned in, making my eyes widen as I raised a brow.

“Uh-“ My eyes drifted to his lips as I licked my own in reaction. No, this was wrong… My brows furrowed, scowling in annoyance.

“Oh, sorry.” He took a couple steps away, smiling in amusement as he had seemed to forgotten how I feel about personal space. “I almost forgot. I usually end up being that close with everybody-“

“Even with your guy friends?” I asked, trying to tease him while changing the subject. “That’s-“

“Just my girlfriends.” He winked, making me raise my brows with a scoff.

Even with my scoff, I couldn’t help but smile in reaction to his own smile. I laughed again, “You flirt too much.”

“Well, I've never got any complaints-"

"Well, that was me complaining so..."

He chuckled, shaking his head. I held back a smile, glancing away and shaking my head as well.

"Alright, alright. See you later, then, alligator.” He said, one hand in his front packet as the other held the bag of food.

“In a while, crocodile.” I said in response to the joke, finally opening the door and watching him leave. I sighed wistfully, not wanting to wait too long before I would see him again.

Those feelings were wrong. This crush was irrational, unnecessary, and it wouldn’t benefit me at all. It would only hurt me, especially when knowing I could never really be with him. Even if I wanted to deep down.

I could almost envision it- our union would be very frowned upon by my parents since he wasn’t Christian. I imagined all the bad things that could come from us being together, the potential pressure he might give as a man for physical activity, the urges we would have that could stray me from God, the influence he would have on me considering he partied a lot. All real possibilities… all excuses to make me rationalize away my crush.

The feelings ebbed away for the minute. But I knew as soon as I saw him again, that they would come rushing to the surface.

I closed the door, locking both the gated screen door and firm wooden door behind it. I went over to the table, packing away the rest of the food that I hadn’t finished yet…

I noticed another phone across from where I had sat to eat and I grabbed it with curiosity. I noticed the screen saver was a picture of Justin and a girl- Turmoil grew in my chest. I took a deep breath. Who was this girl? Why was Justin flirting with me when he had a girlfriend? And I can’t believe Justin had forgotten his phone here?

Gosh darn it. I would see him again, probably tonight. It was already late…

The door jiggled as it unlocked, me recognizing that it was Nate walking into the house. He murmured a ‘hey’ before going straight to his room.

I sighed, waiting in the kitchen for a couple minutes before grabbing Justin’s phone and quietly sneaking to the front porch.

Almost just in time, Justin’s car pulled up in my driveway, getting out of the car and jogging over to me. I smiled, meeting him halfway down the cement walkway to my house. “Hey.”

“Thanks- I wanted to call but I obviously couldn’t-“

“Yeah, no, I totally get it.” I chuckled sheepishly, the cold making me shiver. I hugged myself, tensing up and breathing shakily. He took it from my hand, our fingers brushing and making me inhale sharply. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, heh.” He shakily exhaled with a little bit of a chuckle, “You’re cold, aren’t you?”

“Nothing I can’t deal with. I’m going to go inside anyways-“

“Nah, here.” Justin grasped the edge of his crewneck.

“Well, I don’t- I don’t really-“ I stammered, my nerves going on the fray at the notion he would give me his own clothing off his own back just for me. “It’s not necessary-“

“Oh, please. I noticed you were a little cold inside too.” He did it too quickly for me to continue protesting. His shirt underneath the crewneck rid up, his toned abdomen showing and making my chest tighten. I looked away, swallowing and trying not to dwell on his… body. That would be objectification. But he’s so hot!

Shut up, Emery. He has a girlfriend, maybe. It could be a sister...

Justin moved closer, putting my head through the neck hole of the clothing. I scoffed again, stepping away with a murmur of ‘I got it.’ before putting the rest on. It was baggy, warm and… smelled so much like him. Why did he smell super good? Like cologne but with another natural scent of pine and… I looked up at him with a shy smile.

“Better?” Justin asked, crossing his arms as he himself got a little chilly.

“Definitely.”

Justin nodded, both of us paused as we looked at each other. We were held together by some unnatural force, standing there like idiots as we looked at each other with sheepish smiles on our lips. I blinked, realizing I shouldn’t be out here for too long. I nodded, signaling the end of whatever kind of interaction this was.

“Okay.” I breathed, turning around and walking a couple steps before stopping. I didn’t know why, but something changed in me.

“I’ll see you.” Justin said in a low voice.

I turned, looking as he had just turned towards his car, and walking over quickly to him. “Justin?”

He turned to me, taken a little aback by how I walked towards him. I stopped just in front of him, looking up with hesitation to what I wanted to do but…

I quickly leaned upwards on the tip of my toes before I could think too much about it, planting a soft kiss on his cheek quickly. I stepped away immediately, flushing with embarrassment. Hopefully it wasn’t too evident.

Justin looked at me with an emotion I couldn’t pinpoint. One corner of his lips tilted upwards as he registered what just happened.

I swallowed nervously, giggling despite myself. “Thanks.”

“No. Thank you.” Justin said, his lips widening with a grin, a barely noticeable red tint in his cheeks as he opened the door to his car.

I turned away, quickly walking back into my house. I closed the door really fast, locking it and practically running into my room with a small squeal. I closed the door, getting out my phone and calling Mona.

“Emery? Who was at the door-“

“I need to tell you something right now, and you can never speak a word of it to anyone. Ever, Mona. EVER.” I said, still trying to regain my breath as I felt completely overwhelmed by all these feelings.

“Of course, I’ve probably told you worse than what you could ever say.” She laughed. “Shoot.”

“I think I have a crush on Justin Miller.” I said. She was silent for a minute before speaking.

“Holy shit.” Mona whispered.