Because of Us (My Best Friends Brother)

SIXTEEN | Ethan.

POV | Ethan

My fingers thumped against the steering wheel in beat with music as I drove back to the old shop where my old man worked, I came from a family of mechanics, proud mechanics who loved grease and old cars. The shop had been open since before I was born, my pop passed it down to my old man like his dad before, and being the only born son in the family guess who's next in line.

Don't get me wrong, I loved working in the shop, I could practically take apart and rebuild a car by the time I was fifteen. I just felt like there was more to life than lying under an old hunk of steel, so I left.

The second graduation came, I got on a plane and flew around the world. I didn't care where I went, as long as it wasnt home. I guess I'd already submitted to the idea that one day the shop would be mine, so my determination to explore the world took over. Get out and live before I'm stuck, the words that have forever echoed in my mind.

Soon the rusty sign came into view 'Rob's Auto Engineering’ Rob standing for the family last name, Robinson.

Jumping out of my car I bypassed the shop front, walking directly round back and into the open garage space. The familiar clinking of tools and smell of oiled up steel filled my nose. My dad lay under a car, smeared in grease as he fixed a part to the underside of the vehicle. My steps caught his attention, making him stop and slide out.

“My boy!” He boasted, pushing himself up off the creeper, only to struggle with a groan.

“Hey old man, take it easy” I rushed to his side, gripping his hand in mine, pulling him up from the ground. If there was one thing that ruined the appeal of this shop, it was watching the toll it had taken on my dad. His body started failing him a few years back, the worst was when he fell and slipped a disc in his back. I spent my entire holidays at the shop, ripping apart and building engines. Replacing tyres, oil changes, the lot.

The moment he could walk again, he continued to work. Doctors warned him of the risks but he refused to listen, pushing through only making it worse.

No matter what me or my family tried, he would smile, enduring the pain to make ends meet. Though we begged, the old man wouldn’t give up. Saying the moment he did, his body would give out. But I knew he was dragging it out as long as he could before he would hand the shop to me. He could see it in my eyes, I wanted to venture, explore, not this. He didn’t want to admit it, so he continued to work himself into the ground.

Helping him up onto a stool I ran into the office, pulling a cold bottle from the fridge, jogging back to his side as I opened the cap. He accepted the water with a smile, chugging it down as he pulled a blackened cloth from his pocket, wiping the sweat from his face.

“Probably gonna find me under one of those cars these days” he joked, taking another sip.

“Why don’t you take a few weeks off, I can look after the place” I offered, crouching on the ground to see what was left to do on the old rust bucket still slightly lifted off the ground. Why someone would want this car fixed would forever be a mystery to me.

“What about that girl you’ve been seeing an awful lot, what was her name again?” He questioned, groaning as he adjusted himself on the seat.

“Belle? She’s fine, Landon’s back now so I’ll have a lot more free time” I shrugged before flipping back onto the creeper, sliding myself under the car to tighten the last few bolts.

I could hear dad's breathing from under the car, it was getting weaker by the day. At the least he needed a break to clear his lungs and rest his bones. For the past few weeks I’d been gone early every morning and late every night, I’d barely been around to help dad in the shop or mum and my sisters at home. We never had a hard life, always a roof over our heads and food on the table, but mum and dad had us late in life. Their bodies were catching up to them, so me and my sisters tried to support them in every way we could.

And I wasn’t lying, with Landon winning his contract I really would have the time. Part of me hated it, but I knew it was coming. It was always a part of the plan. I was grateful that Belle and I had gotten close again, but I feared I’d ruined it by overstaying my welcome. I could just picture the angry look on Belle's face for even thinking such a thing, Landon laughing at me over her shoulder. The image brings a smile to my face.

Tightening the last nut, I pushed myself out from under the car. Wiping my grease covered hands along my jeans before letting the car down. I glanced around the shop seeing scrap metal and parts sprawled across the floor in piles, it was due for a clean out.

The heavy breathing behind me continued, followed by a strained cough, dad curling over the bench as he fisted his hand against his mouth. I sighed walking over to him “C’mon old man, let’s get you home, I’ll close up shop”

He waved me off, pushing up from the stool, water in hand as he collected his wallet, phone and keys. I ran around shutting the roller doors and turning off lights before turning on the alarm. Following the old geezer and essentially forcing him into my car for the drive home.

“I could’ve driven you know, I’m not dead yet” he joked again, coughing following his laughter, him choking it back with a smile.

“You would be if you drive while you’re literally gasping on the thing keeping you alive” he rolled his eyes, giving my arm a light punch.

Pulling up the drive I put the car in park, before I could offer any help dad jumped out. I shook my head, pulling the keys from the ignition. He was a stubborn old man, but he was a good husband and an even better father. Him only proving my point as he found mum in the kitchen, pulling her into an embrace from behind, kissing her cheek as she prepped dinner.

They truly loved one another, no matter what struggle came their way, they always found their way back to each other. I admired them, their love, their strength. I wanted what they had. I’d dated in the past, as nice as those girls were, something was always missing. Then I met Belle.

I was consumed by her presence, her smile, her laugh. Something about her made me feel nervous, but in a good way. Like something exciting was going to happen. The more time I spent with her, the more I fell. She was the first girl I could hold a conversation with, no matter how meaningless the topic was it always flowed. Never an awkward moment, when we were together, it was like a puzzle piece sliding perfectly into place.

I immediately went for it, asking her on a date. It was the first time I was rejected, it was also the first time I felt the urge to not take no for an answer. I respected her decision but I promised her that I wouldn’t be giving up anytime soon. Years of endless flirting and an amazing friendship, Belle finally kissed me.

She was going through so much, part of me knew it was her just being weak, vulnerable and in need of intimacy. But that nervous feeling finally turned into excitement the moment I felt her lips on mine. Every second I’d watched her, wanting more, finally confirmed as I kissed her back. The taste of her finally on my lips, my hands finally on her skin, the feeling of euphoria from finally having the girl I wanted all along.

But it was also short lived. Belle, in my definition, was perfect. She was everything I’d wanted... she still was. Something just didn’t feel right, the euphoric feeling finished as quickly as it had come. I knew then that I loved Belle, but not like my dad loved my mum. I had made peace with the decision. Knowing that she had someone else who loved her the right way, someone who would take care of her indefinitely.

But then the night of graduation came, and all those nervous feelings I thought were gone, came rushing back. The thing I thought I had all figured out, slowly came undone. After a year of clearing my mind, seeing the love my parents had for one another, only reminded me of the battle I’d been fighting in my head. The battle that as of late, had become a daily struggle.

“Ethan! Can you please help me” I heard the groan of my youngest sister, Elyse. I stepped further into the kitchen, bending to her level as she handed me her phone. A game of scrabble lit up the screen, the opponents name reading ‘Isla’ my other younger sister.

“That’s cheating Elyse!” Isla chimes in, following after her with heavy steps “You can’t keep asking for help”

“But your words are too big, I can’t do that” Elyse whined. I chuckled watching the two bicker while I slid the yellow tiles into place on her screen. Adding ‘wax’ to the already built word ‘work’ the word adding 24 points so Elyse’s total score. She squealed as Isla groaned. “Now I’m losing!”

“Thanks Ethan!” Elyse took back her phone, running into the lounge as Isla followed, rolling her eyes and squinting at me as if I’d betrayed her. Mum chuckled as dad kissed her cheek, heading down the hall towards the bathroom to wash all the grease off him before dinner. I took the opportunity to swoop in next to mum, giving her a hug, pinching a crispy baked potato. Mum's speciality.

“If you want to touch the food would you mind making the salad” she laughed as I devoured the potato whole. Reaching for the lettuce I began ripping it apart, washing it under the sink water before drying it in some paper towel.

“How’s Belle going honey?” The awkward discussion trying to explain I was going to a girl's house to essentially babysit her on her boyfriend's orders, wasn’t an easy one to have. But mum seemed to accept the idea. She knew Belle and I were close friends, so I guess it didn’t seem too odd of a thing for me to be doing.

“She’s good, happy” I smiled, unwrapping the lettuce as I reached for the knife to give it a rough chop. Mum squinted her eyes at me “I thought you two sorted your feelings out a while back?”

I stopped chopping looking at her dumbfounded “We did? What makes you say that?”

She crossed her arms, raising her brows, looking me in the eyes with a shake of her head. She could see right through me, the confusion that had swam in my thoughts practically written across my forehead. I sighed, placing the knife on the bench as I started chucking the lettuce in a bowl. “We’re fine mum, really. I wasn’t lying when I told you we sorted out our feelings, I still feel the same…”

“But?” She pushed.

I shrugged leaning forward against the counter “I guess it feels different now, Belle is one thing, but Landon is another”

“Oh, so you’re experimenting” she squeaked out with wide eyes and an even bigger smile.

“No! God no, I’m not experimenting, we're just…” I paused, I really had no clue what we were doing. All I knew was that I enjoyed it, more than I felt I should.

“Well, maybe you should be” mum offered, handing me a punnet of cherry tomatoes. I opened my mouth only to close it, realising I had nothing to say. My mind that had been reeling for answers, may have finally just found one, or something close to one.

Rinsing the tomatoes, I dried them and threw them in amongst the leaves. Tossing through a few extra things before helping mum set the table. As I sat amongst the chaos that was my family, I smiled. Maybe there was a reason all the girls before weren’t enough for me. Maybe, there was something stopping my perfect girl from being the one thing I truly wanted all this time.