The Rock Star Wants A Wife

Part 6

SIX

"There. Done." Xan switched off her computer, stood and stretched. She'd caught glimpses of the film crew and the two bachelors through her window over the course of the afternoon, but she'd been good and stayed at her desk, doing her job. Now, it was knock-off time. It would be the most natural thing in the world to stroll past while they were filming, and casually ask about their progress.

She picked up her phone and dialled the extension for IT. Before Seb could finish his greeting, she cut him off. "Where are they?"

"Clustered around North Beach, near the treeline," he replied promptly.

Xan smothered a laugh. Trust the nosy IT boys to know their every movement. The show's bubbly hostess seemed to have a talent for making men melt. Except for Jay, oddly. There must be a history there, she decided. "Thanks," she said to Seb, then ended the call.

She enjoyed the short walk to the beach, shucking off her shoes so she could feel the sand between her toes. She wasn't surprised to find the farmers and their film crew precisely where Seb had said, but she was surprised to see Jay there. Paige divided her attention between the farmers and Jay, though Jay didn't seem to notice her admiring glances. The farmers appeared too awed by Jay to do more than stammer out responses to Paige's questions, which made the woman snap in irritation.

Filming was not going well, Xan decided.

"I'm looking for a girl who can cook and clean and isn't afraid of cows. She doesn't have to be a beauty queen, but she should be fit, you know, like me." The farmer flexed his biceps.

The other farmer nodded thoughtfully, looking like he approved.

Xan choked back laughter.

Paige looked like she was going to explode.

"Nah, mate, no girl will go for that. You gotta romance it up a bit," Jay said.

They all stared.

"Say how pretty your farm is, or how awesome it is to have...however many head of cattle you have. But how it gets lonely, so you work out a lot and get pretty active, so you'd love to have someone to share it with. Love and laughter over a delicious meal at the end of a hard day's work. Help picking the names of this year's new calves. You're looking for a partner, a soulmate, to share stuff with. Some mushy s**t like that." Jay shrugged.

More nods of approval, from both blokes this time.

"How would you do it, then?" ventured the one who hadn't spoken yet. "If you wanted a wife."

Xan expected Jay to laugh off the suggestion, but he surprised her, again. Maybe it was how intently Paige stared at him as she signalled for the cameraman to start filming.

"Mr Felix, what are you looking for in a wife?" Paige asked.

"I've met a lot of ladies, lovely ladies, in my career. All of them beautiful and talented in their own way. But you know what? I never met the One."

"What's so special about the One?" Paige prompted.

"The One...she'd capture my heart. Every touch or smile would strike me like a bolt of lightning. We'd share everything and we'd be equal in everything. For every time I save her, she'll save me right back. She'd be the melody to my bass line. She'll inspire love songs so beautiful I could seduce the whole world, but there's only one woman in the world I want. The one woman who will help me write my first true love song – one to last a lifetime."

Even Xan found herself sighing at Jay's words. The farmers still looked awed, but now they also looked...inspired.

One of them traded places with Jay. He cleared his throat. "When I stand on the highest point on my farm, all the land I can see is mine, because I have one of the biggest cattle stations in the country. You'd think with all that, I'd be satisfied, but it's a lonely life. No one to share it with when the sun sinks into the desert, or when the dawn lights up the eastern ranges just right..."

Now it was Jay's turn to nod, but Paige's smile said she approved, too.

The rest of the filming went quite quickly after that, with Paige declaring a wrap just over an hour later. The blokes seemed to have bonded over the experience, and were now offering to shout each other and Jay beers in the pub afterwards.

After hearing spiels about how miserably lonely it was in the Kimberley for a single bloke, Xan decided she'd like to alleviate a little loneliness of her own, and offered to join Paige for a drink in the Jungle, too. So they took a table in one corner while the blokes claimed one by the bar, and Xan sipped her way through a ginger beer as she and Paige made small talk about the show.

Paige couldn't say much, of course, but she was happy to explain some of the basics. The interviews they'd done today would be edited down to under five minutes, before they were uploaded to the network's website. Then they'd open the call for potential brides. In the past, they'd sometimes gotten thousands of applications, and the studio staff would narrow it down to the ladies who ticked all the boxes on the bachelors' sometimes extensive lists. One bloke had only liked redheads. One particularly short bloke had insisted anyone taller than his shoulder need not apply. One of them had owned an oyster farm, so the girls all had to like seafood and not be allergic.

Once they had a shortlist for each of the bachelors, they gave the lists to the men. Each bloke got his own list, and he had to narrow it down to twenty women he'd like to meet, though only eight would make it onto the show. Officially, that was because sometimes the girls couldn't get the time off work, or they had other commitments that meant they couldn't make the filming dates, or the farmstay.

"Farmstay?" Xan asked.

The bachelors interviewed all eight girls and got to pick four favourites, Paige explained, who would be invited to stay on the bloke's farm for a couple of weeks. A film crew would go out to each farm with the girls, to record pretty much everything. Every kiss, every alone moment, which the crew sometimes had to arrange, planning dates for the couple either on the farm or at a nearby town. The bachelor would send two of the girls home within the first week, but the remaining two would stay for the duration, and meet up with some of his family and friends, before he had to make his final decision.

"And they're expected to get married? Just like that?" Xan said, trying to hide her incredulity.

Paige laughed. "It's encouraged, and the studio offers them a pretty sweet bonus if they propose on the show, and then invite the host and camera crew to the wedding, so we can broadcast it between seasons, but it doesn't happen very often. The weddings do get a lot of viewers, though, and you see it in the boost in the next season's numbers. We actually have a pretty high success rate – a lot of the couples stay together long after the show. Some of them do get married, and some even have kids."

Xan glanced at the two farmers. "Do you think they will...?

Paige donned her professional smile, the same sort Xan wore when she was being deliberately vague. "You never know for sure until you see them with the girls. It's all about chemistry."

Jay slapped his hands on their table, startling Xan. "It sure is, but I already told you, they won't. They have all the chemistry they need right at that table. Fresh beers, too. I figured I didn't want to feel like the third wheel over there, so I said my goodnights, and now I'll say the same to you ladies. It is time for me to watch...the Simpsons." He strode out of the pub.

"I'm sure that's some sort of euphemism for adult films," Xan said, watching him go.

"I doubt it," Paige replied. "If he wanted to watch Martian Buttsex 69, Jay would probably say so, just to see our expressions. And, like me, he is a big fan of the Simpsons." She rose and excused herself, pleading an early start the next day.

Xan headed home soon after, intrigued by Paige's easy explanation about TV matchmaking and trying not to wonder why there was more than one film about...what was it? Martian butt s*x? Urgh. No, she would NOT search the internet to find out more about it. It'd be faster to ask the IT guys, anyway. And she wouldn't have to see pictures.