The Rock Star Wants A Wife

Part 8

EIGHT

Paige staggered into Xan's office and slumped into her client chair without saying a word. Her stricken expression said plenty, though.

Xan set down her pen. The quotes for the new glass-bottomed boat for the lagoon could wait. "Who died?" she asked lightly.

Paige glared.

Xan felt a chill of dread that she'd have a corpse to deal with.

"I've lost two farmers," Paige bit out through gritted teeth.

Xan reached for her phone. "I'll call IT. They can find anyone on the island in less than a minute."

Paige laughed harshly. "Oh, I know where they are. In one of your hotel rooms, locked in behind a DO NOT DISTURB sign."

"I can override any door lock in the resort, if necessary," Xan offered.

"After all you said about guest privacy, and how important it is to the resort, you'd force open a guest's door?" Paige mocked.

Xan shook her head, wishing the other woman would stop talking in riddles. "Okay, none of this makes any sense. Please tell me what's happened, what course of action you'd like to take, and how my staff and I can help." She thought her voice did a pretty good job at hiding her irritation.

Paige gave a mirthless smile. "Well, it looks like after yesterday's filming, our two farmers got to drinking in your pub. Once the beer had been flowing freely for a few hours, they became the best of mates. Good enough mates to share a few secrets. Turns out they were hiding the same secret, and when one of them spilled the beans..."

"Congratulations!" Jay burst into Xan's office, beaming. "I bet you never expected your matchmaking to pay off so quickly. C'mon, that has to be a record for the show."

Xan rubbed her temples. If anything, Jay made even less sense than Paige.

"Where are they now?" Paige demanded.

Jay pulled up a chair for himself. "They saw me taking my morning swim in the lagoon, and decided they wanted one, too. I told them about my favourite hidden beach, and I bet they're getting all romantic right there now."

"With who?" Xan asked. "You haven't even asked their prospective brides to apply yet. You can't tell me both of those blokes have suddenly turned into Don Juans overnight and both seduced women they've just met? The only women in the pub last night were us!"

Jay just shook his head, while Paige's expression grew more thunderous.

"Ah, c'mon, Paige. Don't be so pissed off. I told you yesterday they were gay. You didn't believe me then, but you can't deny it now. They're out of the closet and thrilled to have found a kindred spirit. It'd be an awesome line to take with the show. Call it Farmer Bags A Partner instead and turn it into the first gay dating show in Australia. You could always throw in the occasional straight guy, too, just to mix things up a bit. I'm sure you'll have plenty of takers. I mean, yesterday, for a minute there, even I considered – "

"I called the studio this morning," Paige interrupted. "They said they won't champion gay marriage in Australia in the current climate. Their ratings would plummet. And if I can't find two replacement farmers who like women, they'll cancel the show entirely."

It was Xan's turn to drop into despair. "What? No! I've cancelled dozens of day trips to fit with your filming schedule. All the tourism operators in town are sponsoring this thing. You can't cancel the show!"

"We had trouble enough finding these two blokes. No one wants to go on a reality dating show any more. The drama we put the blokes through on camera, the pressure they're under to find love and make a decision in that short time...these are guys who struggle to ask a girl out on a date, they're so shy and awkward. With budget cuts, we can't afford another country-wide call for bachelors. My budget's effectively zero for the search."

"What if you were willing to negotiate a bit with the blokes? Dial down the drama a bit and let them see some of the raw footage before it goes to air, so they have a better idea of what the girls are like, and what your viewers will see?" Jay suggested.

"Not a hope in hell. The network executives will never buy it. No one has that kind of pull with them." Paige shook her head violently.

"Bet I could swing it," Jay said.

"You'd still need to find farmers – " Paige began.

"Nah, I was thinking me."

Xan and Paige stared at him.

Paige recovered first. "You want to pretend to be a farmer and make me find you a suitable wife? Even for you, that's crazy. We'd be overwhelmed with applications. Half the female population – not just the ones under thirty – would apply. We'd probably get thousands of international applications, too. It'd take months just to narrow it down. And everyone knows you'll never settle down. You're the ultimate tomcat, which is why girls love you so much."

"So don't tell them who I am. Say I'm a mystery man, some sort of celebrity, but don't say who. Hide my identity from the girls until they arrive here for the meet and greet. Sure, you'll get fewer applicants, but I bet you still get quite a selection. And ones who aren't pulled in by my name, either, so maybe, if I'm really lucky, you might find me a bride."

Xan watched Jay, waiting for him to admit he was joking. He had to be. No one in their right mind would...

"Okay," Paige said. "But I don't think we could run the show with just one bachelor. Even running with two was going to be hard, because we normally have at least six. How on earth will we manage to record enough footage to fill a show about just you?"

Jay grinned. "Oh, but it's not just me. It's all about the girls, because most of your viewers are women. So have more girls. Double the number. I don't know. We got plenty of space here, and you'd originally planned to have two blokes with all their brides-to-be."

Paige tapped her chin. "But what about the farmstay? The girls are supposed to come and stay with you on your farm. We get really good ratings for the first farm episode. Viewers love watching city girls adjust to rural life."

Jay shrugged. "Does it have to be my farm?"

"Well, no, but it's not as realistic if it's not yours. I mean, the girls are supposed to be seeing if they can fit into your lifestyle, isolated out here, and this luxury resort isn't exactly slumming it."

Jay laughed. "My lifestyle, as you call it, isn't as glamorous as you think. But I meant the pearl farm, on the mainland. Yeah, they have luxury accommodation, but they also have a bush camp they run with one of the tour companies in town. It's pretty basic, but it's a step up from the old pearl divers' camp that used to be there."

Paige stared at him incredulously. "You, the rock star, would go camping?"

"Sure. I've been meaning to check it out. If I record a new album next year, I was thinking of setting some of the music videos out there."

Now it was Xan's turn to stare. "You mean you're coming out of retirement?"

Jay shrugged. "It's been a year. I don't think I'm old enough to retire. And I still got a bit of music in me. I just need to talk the girls into getting the band back together, or find someone to replace them, if they won't. I figured I'd wait until after Angel's wedding, and hit them up then. I was talking to my agent this week, and some of the offers she's had since this whole press storm with that mining billionaire are...pretty f*****g awesome. I figure a season of reality TV might up the offers enough to buy me another island."

He wasn't joking, Xan realised. It made no sense, but that was Jay all over.

"So I'll run it by the studio, and if they accept, I'll speak to the sponsors, to see if they're willing to offer a bit more for the dates and such. I mean, we kept everything pretty low-key for the farmers, but a rock star would get the VIP treatment, all the way," Paige said eagerly. "We might have to change the name a bit, though, seeing as you're not really a farmer."

"Got that right. I wouldn't know what to do with a sheep, let alone a whole flock. How about Rock Star Wants A Wife?

Paige nodded. "I'll get right onto it. We could even use that video you recorded yesterday..."

Jay laughed. "So you did record it! I wondered." He leaned forward. "I'll have some conditions, though. Seeing as I'm saving your show and all."

Paige bit her lip, waving at him to keep talking.

"You're not putting me through the same s**t you do to the normal blokes. I want access to all the footage, including your private interviews with the girls. I want to see everything before it goes to air, even if it isn't going to air."

Paige shook her head. "The studio will never go for that. If you know what's going on, there won't be any drama. And with more girls, and only one of you, we'll need way more filler to make the show. Instead of just two weeks, we'll have to stretch it out to four. You won't have time to watch everything. And we'll be sending it back to the studio for editing, not doing it here. I can't – "

"Sure you can. Set up a temporary studio here. I'm sure the IT guys would love to hook you up with whatever equipment you need. I'll use it for music videos later, so it's no big deal to me. But I won't do it if I can't see the video. You can air whatever you like, as long as it meets with Xan's privacy guidelines for the resort...oh, wait. If we do most of the filming at Shenton Camp, we won't have to worry about that, will we? Right. I'll have access to all the video you take during the four weeks, so I can make my decision with as much background on the girls as I need."

"But the show needs drama," Paige insisted. "You won't – "

"What if I promise to propose in the final episode?" Jay demanded.

Paige seemed lost for words.

"All the drama you want. You can set up the girls' stories any way you like for the show. I'm not asking to be able to veto s**t, or even try to censor it. I'm only asking to see the raw stuff, so I can make a decision on who I ask to marry me." From the triumph in Jay's eyes, he knew he had her.

"I'll have to ask the studio..." Paige said, looking doubtful.

Jay jumped to his feet. "When they agree, give Xan the schedule. This'll be fun!"