Until the Final I Do

Chapter Six

SPENCER

I saw the curtain move and a face appeared. Messy black hair was thrown everywhere on a pale face. I assumed that was Liam or in other words Brooklyn's fiancé.  I felt repulsed as I used that word.

A day will never go by that I wouldn't regret leaving. There will always be that perfect image in my head. Brooklyn and I with our son and daughter or whatever we were lucky to have. I want Brooklyn and need her dearly. Some messed up s**t has happened throughout my lifetime that can mess up a person and she erased that from my memory.

When I was fourteen my real mother abused me. I wouldn't even call her my real mother because my mom is in New York right now. After the police got involved I was put up for adoption. That's when Duane and Michelle adopted me. At first, it was weird to be out of that situation. Coming home and being a human punching bag was a routine so, I was a bit reclusive at first. I never came out of my room. My food was delivered to my door and the only time I left was to go to school.

By the time I turned fifteen I was a lot more open about my past. I was seeing a therapist about my childhood and was in a better place. Mentally and physically.

I lost a lot of weight and got good grades. I was overweight due to depression and took eating as an escape. It was easy to turn to food instead of people. I relied on it like I would a mother.  So, once I hit the gym and lost all that extra weight I was in a much better state of mind. Exercising was now my escape and I wasn't going to any golden arches to order a cheeseburger.

Then, Brooklyn came into my life. I met her at a coffee shop and she blew the first impression out of the water. I remember that day like it was yesterday. She had her nose in a book and a notebook off to the side. Her dark brown hair was pulled up into a neat bun. She had napkins in a pile beside her.

Brooklyn was perfect in my eyes so, I chased her. But it always seemed like I was always going one step forward and then three steps back. I didn't think she liked me very much, so I stopped. I, of course, got the urge to go talk to her, but it seemed to work in my favor when she would talk to me first. I didn't have to chase her like a lost puppy anymore. That was the first time I have ever got close to a girl.

As a teenager my mindset was about school and finishing college so, I wasn't the type of guy to go around to different girls and leave them the next morning. I never had s*x with any of the girls in high school. Of course, girls would throw themselves at me, but I was used to turning them down. They just never seem to learn it isn't attractive to be a walking STD carrier.

Once Brooklyn and I started to date, I found myself giving into her. I would talk to her about my childhood and tell her about Claire, my birthmother. She seemed to understand me so well and I felt as if I could talk to her for hours. Brooklyn is a very trustworthy girl. She never seemed to be the party or drinking type and I liked that about her. I didn't have to worry about her getting drunk and end up kidnapped or even worse. Still, when it came to her I was of course protective. I never had a girl before and I didn't know what that possessive feeling was like. Brooklyn brought it out in me. She was quite popular in college and with that reputation came other male friends, but she was good about being with other guys. She would always have me by her side if she was going out with a group of friends.

Whenever our final years came I knew I wanted to start a life with her. Before I had the unexpected move I was going to the purpose and ask her to move in with me. She was my first everything and I wanted her to be my last.

That's when my mother called saying my father collapsed and asked if I could fly to New York to help out and take over things while my dad was out. I agreed because I owed them that. They did so much for me like take me out of that horrible situation and give me life. I had so much childhood that I could never get back, but when they adopted me it seemed like all the cold nights, excruciating pain, and not being loved went away.

It was hard not to come back and see Brooklyn every day. I wanted to, but meetings took up my time.

About a month later I tried to get ahold of her friends. They all said the same thing, "I think she is dating this other guy." My heart shattered into a million pieces. When my mother heard she said I should go back, but I didn't know the point of doing that. Brooklyn was forever gone.

The light hum of my ring tone sent me out of my thoughts. Since I was at a red light I looked at the caller ID. It read ‘mother'.

"Hey mom," I say. My voice was rough. I could even hear it and I knew she would catch onto it.

"Hey, honey. Is there something wrong?" Her light voice became a worried tone.

Everything is awful.

"Everything is great. Did you need something?" I ask.

"Yes. Your father is now out of the hospital. The doctors said the X-rays seemed to have misunderstood and there was no tumor at all, but we have no clue why the seizures are still happening. I will be able to make that meeting in a few days so, you won't have too. I expect lunch though." She laughs into the phone.

Out of nowhere, there is a loud honk of a horn. I didn't even realize the light had turned green.

"Honey, you know how I feel about you on the phone while you are driving. I'll let you go," she says with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Okay. I love you and tell dad I said hi." I smile even though she couldn't see me and end the call.

The bad thoughts that happened not even five minutes ago were now completely gone. Just the thought of my dad out and healthy washed them away. He is safe. He is going to survive.  A tear of joy now runs down my cheek. I am on cloud nine. But what will I do now?

Should I stay here or should I go back home? I left once and it did me no good. Maybe I should just stop running away from my problems.

Another sound of my ringtone took my attention. I thought it would be my mom again, but the name ‘Grayson' appeared instead.

I silently heard my mom yelling at me for being on the phone while I was on the road so, I quickly pulled into a grocery store parking lot before I answered.

"Hey. Long time no talk!" Grayson yells.

Grayson is one of my oldest friends. He never knew me in high school since I lived in South Carolina, but he did go to college with me. Imagine being that scared freshman not knowing where you should be going and you are practically calling to be beaten up. Gladly, that didn't happen since I have a sophomore friend. Grayson was just a year above me. He was your average jock and unlike me, he did sleep around quite a bit. Besides that, he was a pretty good friend. He also gave me advice on how to get Brooklyn's attention. I learned never to take that advice since he never even had a real girlfriend.

"Hey man. What have you been up to?" I ask.

"You know here and there. I was wondering if you wanted to catch up. Maybe go night surfing or something? Come on it will be fun," he cajoles.

"I mean I have nothing better to do," I shrug.

"Great meet me at our surf spot at nine," he laughs through the phone.

"See you there," I chuckle, hanging up.

The drive was short since I was only ten minutes away. Once I stepped out of the car a cold breeze of air swept through my hair and fanned my face. I saw a silhouette in the distance and started to walk towards it. Once I am closer I see my familiar brown haired best friend. His face was outlined with light stubble and he already had his wet suit on.

I was ready to go surfing for the first time in a year. I can't imagine the feeling of the waves crashing over me and the annoying saltiness that will sometimes get into your nose. There was a burning sensation to be in the water again and when I finally had my board I didn't hesitate to run into the crashing waves.

***

We were now out of the water catching up. A lot of things happened over the past year. Grayson now has a girlfriend- which I applaud him on- and he has an internship with a production company that is starting in the summer. Grayson plans on moving to Hollywood to peruse productions and become a director.

It's nice knowing that he knows what he wants to do with his life. My life right now is a mixed up puzzle and I'm struggling. I don't know what I want to do or be. I'm twenty-five now. I should already have had this done and planned.

"Yeah, the girl I met is something. She's cool. I never really did the girlfriend thing, but I gave Tori a shot and I think it's working." He shrugs.

Wait? As in Tori, Brooklyn's best friend? Nonsense there must be a thousand Toris.

"Enough about me how are things with you and Brooklyn? I heard around town she's engaged. Did you put a ring on it?" Grayson says with a smirk.

"No. She's engaged to a guy named Liam," I say, my voice full of disappointment.

"Oh, Sorry. I just assumed since you guys were practically having s*x with your eyes you would be engaged by now," he states.

"It's getting late," I yawn, motioning towards the moonlight that was casting on us. "I should get going."

"Bye." I hear as I walk away with nothing but my disappointed thoughts booming through my head.