Thorns Of The Past.

Gabriel's Rough Side.

When he allows you to see his rough side, this means he tries to hide his pain... His hurt side.

~about half an hour later, Blue River Pack~

Becky’s pov

“The next, Bianca!” Gabriel orders roaring and leaves from his tight hold the young man around his 20’s.

The man’s body falls on the ground lifeless, as Gabriel has already killed him like the two first men and Gabriel turns to Bianca, who is standing next to me with a terrified expression on her pale face.

I can’t believe what is happening these last ten minutes, I just can’t!

Everything happened way too quickly and I was already too dizzy and overwhelmed to realize how Gabriel exploded and ordered the Betas and Joel, the Gamma to gather immediately the entire pack next to the lake.

And do you want to know what exactly happened when Gabriel made sure all of them (except from my parents, brother and Ryker) were present?

He left the hospital after he had ordered Max, the soon to be Beta to stay with Hayley until he returns, told us to follow him and brought us here.

I have never seen anyone so angry, well, no, I have! Gabriel, but he was too young back then, it was the second day after we had realized we were mates and we were for a walk, when we saw an old man of the pack slapping a young boy.

That day I saw a different Gabriel, a real, strong Alpha and he is the same man I see right now.

Back then he beaten the s**t out of that man for daring to slap the boy and now he does the same and even worse, he has killed three fighters and hasn’t stopped yet.

He never approved any kind of abuse, he has never raised his hand on anyone, he is not violent and he had understood nothing about what was happening to Hayley. If he had, he would stop that, he would kill them all, but he just found out and his beast needs blood to dispense justice.

I don’t blame him for that, he is absolutely right!

I blame me for believing he knew and didn’t care or pretended he didn’t know. I curse myself for allowing my anger to blur my vision and make me accuse him for something he never did and will not do. I am still hurt, angry, disgusted and broken from what he did to me and I am nothing except negative with him and everything it has to do with him. I am not fair anymore, I behave like a silly, weak woman and I hate myself for this.

I know Gabriel didn’t treat me wrong and I know I’m showing too much understanding with the way I say it, it’s that I don’t want to say heavier words, but I know a very big part of who Gabriel truly was, is and will always be.

He is not cruel, heartless, harsh, arrogant or selfish man. He loves his pack, his people, he can die for them, ha has given them his life, he always supported and defended the weak ones and today he proves it again in front of everyone.

I was wrong about him, he really loves Hayley, I have never seen him so scared and broken, not even when we met again for the very first time and he saw Ryker and Claire. I am sure my dad told me the truth about Gabriel’s previous relationship with Hayley, because he would never lie to me, but I have no doubt things between them have changed since back then. It is a short period of time, but the way I saw him before and see him right now confirms Gabriel loves Hayley very much.

Damn, how could I accuse him for covering Hayley’s abusers or for not stopping them?

Why did I open my mouth before?

I know he understood I knew something and I thought he was aware of what was Hayley passing through and I am ashamed, I hurt him very much for no reason, I…

SHIT!

Even my wolf has stiffened backwards and stays completely silent all these intense and slow minutes. She doesn’t know how to behave in order to help me, she feels stupid.

“BIANCA!” Gabriel roars to bring us all back to reality and my niece takes a step closer to me, raises her shaky hand and points another young man at the front line of the crowd.

“Maoz…” Kaitlyn whispers from my left and a loud, angry growl escapes from Gabriel’s throat.

“He is the one who started it, Alpha, it’s him!” Nia, the next Gamma states from the first line too, although Gabriel hasn’t allowed her to speak and the young man with messy black hair and muscular body lowers his head in submission in milliseconds.

I hold my breath while I give a quick look at everyone in front of me and my heart tightens from anger and not mercy or any sign of sympathy. They don’t deserve it, Gabriel was right when he began killing one by one the men Bianca was telling him and I know him well enough to be certain he won’t leave anyone from the pack unpunished for their silence.

I see fear, agony, pain and worry in everyone’s eyes and I narrow my eyes pleased. I turn to Kaitlyn whose eyes are almost black from anger for the pack and pride for Gabriel and then I look at Ruth and Jack, hers and Gabriel’s parents, the previous, strong Alphas. Both of them are outraged, but they know only Gabriel talks now and this is why they do not interfere. After them, I turn to the Betas, Declan and Jenna with Joel, the current Gamma. Their expressions reveal anger for the pack and disappointment they had suspected nothing and the more I look at Joel, the more sympathy I feel for him, because his daughter, Nia knew everything and never told him or even Gabriel. In the end I turn to Kourtney, my brother’s mate and my sister in law and my niece, Bianca, who is standing on my right with tears falling from her eyes and her breath cut.

She is hurt, she feels pressured and it is difficult for her to name those who are responsible for what happened to Hayley, but it is necessary, she must talk and I’m proud she is so brave and hasn’t stepped back. She wants to help Hayley and cooperates with Gabriel, she told him the truth. She had to talk to him three years ago, or my parents and brother had to take that role, they are older than her, they had to inform Gabriel and there is no way I show them understanding about it. I had told them the day they came to meet me and the kids at Evan’s pack and explained to me everything about Gabriel and what was happening to Hayley that they were wrong for keeping such a secret from him, or Ruth and Jack.

“Maoz, in front of me!” Gabriel screams wildly and louder than any other time and I snap my head to him again, but I unfortunately face his back and only.

It breaks my heart to see him so hurt and furious. I feel how much he is suffering, how disappointed he is and I can’t stop myself from feeling sorry. I wish I could help him, ease his pain or take even a small part of it away, but I know I can’t and even if I could, Gabriel would never agree, because of what I thought about him.

I f****d up everything even more…

I feel Kaitlyn talking my cold hand in hers and giving it a squeeze like she knows what I think and feel and I decide not to look at her. I prefer to keep my eyes locked on Maoz, who is now taking two small, timid steps and stops a meter from Gabriel.

The crowd is standing terrified right behind him, Gabriel is facing them from the beginning, and the others and I are behind him facing his board back.

I close my eyes the next second from the loud noise of the strong punch of Gabriel’s to Maoz and my skin shudders from fear. My heart has already stopped beating, my legs are shaking and my stomach is a mess, I want to vomit.

When I open my eyes timidly, my gaze falls almost immediately on Maoz, who is lying on the ground with his noise bleeding. Some constant loud cries leave from his lips and break the deadly silence and the slight breeze takes his blood’s scent and brings it to my nose.

I make the huge mistake to find back my lost breath and fill my lungs with the intense, displeasing scent and I grit my teeth to prevent myself from throwing up right here and now.

I have to be strong for Lyn, Ruth and Jack, my niece and Kourtney, but most importantly for Gabriel and Hayley. They need me and I guess I need to stand next to them and help.

I already adore Hayley, I would dare to say I fell in love with her honest, mesmerizing and full of purity eyes and the only thing I didn’t see in them or in the way she was looking at me or generally behaving was Michelle.

He has taken nothing from Michelle and she can’t be judged or treated because she just happened to come in this world from her. It wasn’t her choice, she has already been through a lot, but she is kind, I feel it, I see it, I know it and Ryker…

I don’t want to believe he was ready to kill her, although I saw it!

How could he do this to her?

She is his mate, his only other half! He can’t live without her. He has seen me, he can’t want the same thing for him or even Hayley! I was treated like a trash for no reason and he hates Gabriel for that, so he can’t do to Hayley what his father did to me, it isn’t fair!

I was aware of his hatred for Michelle and Gabriel, the burning anger in his heart, but he mustn’t allow it to destroy his future with his true mate.

His general behavior these last weeks was troubling me and I wanted to be patient and show understanding, but today things got worse and I don’t excuse him, I will never excuse him for his outburst in front of the poor girl, he could have killed her.

I thought my son was a young, mature man, but right now I am afraid I was wrong, Ryker’s heart is not that kind like I wanted to believe, because his anger is in lead and he won’t leave him any time soon.

He is my son, I would give my life for him, I have given everything to raise him and Claire and it kills me to talk like that, but I know my feelings aren’t lying. I am not wrong, my heart warns me about the future and I am devastated to say it won’t be bright, easy, happy or hopeful.

I have to talk to him the sooner, but I don’t think I can or want to. I know my child, he is stubborn, he needs too much time, he won’t soften as easily as we all want to believe and I am worried about Hayley’s reaction once she wakes up. She is going to feel betrayed, hurt and alone, I know the f*****g feeling and I don’t want her to feel what I did.

What are we going to do? This is a hell!

“Declan, take the useless, dirty dog and drag him to the worst dungeon we have! No food, no water, no amenities, nobody talks to me! I will deal with him from now on for the rest of his pathetic life!” Gabriel screams after some seconds, we all jump up from his husky, powerful alpha tone and Declan runs to him, kneels, grabs Maoz from his hair and drags him away.

“Joel and Jenna, take the three dead bodies and throw them in the lake. The fish need food, nobody takes them out to bury them, or else I kill more!” Gabriel orders, not giving us time to calm down and many cries of surprise sound, some of them are mine, Kaitlyn and Ruth’s, but this doesn’t seem to change Gabriel’s decision.

I turn to Alpha Jack, who has a serious and not frustrated expression, because he actually agrees with Gabriel and with an impatient and firm motion from Gabriel, I see Joel and Jenna doing what he says and the entire pack observes them petrified.

I know Gabriel’s punishment sounds rough, especially because the three men are dead, but a part of me understands him. He wants to show them who the real Alpha is and they deserve to face the consequences of their actions. He wouldn’t have taken this decision, if they had informed him earlier or helped Hayley.

He has no reason to show them mercy, when they didn’t show mercy to Hayley!

“Today I feel ashamed and disappointed, but not with you!” Gabriel begins to say with his hands crossed behind his back and his eyes probably locked on the large crowd.

“I feel this way with me, because I just realized I was too generous, kind and soft with all of you. I gave you everything, I bled for you, I put you above anything and anyone and in return I asked only one damn thing!” he continues with pure rage and complaint and I close my eyes that tingle from the first tears.

I wasn’t here all these years, I saw nothing of what he has done for them, but he is not lying. This pack is stronger and larger than ever because of Gabriel, Evan showed me files, my parents and brother talked to me about everything he has been doing all these years and I saw everything with my own eyes before.

He always adored this pack and he had told me many times that his life’s biggest purpose was to keep it safe, strong, united, peaceful and wealthy till the day he would stop being its Alpha.

I understand why he feels like he has failed. He did anything he could for them, but they didn’t appreciate it, they didn’t respect him.

“I asked for your loyalty! I asked from you to follow the basic rules! And what did you do? I am asking you and I’m waiting for an answer! What did you do?” he continues in a louder, harsher and wilder voice tone and I stiffen close to Lyn, who fights not to cry without taking her eyes from Gabriel’s very tall figure.

Nobody replies or dares to look at him. They have their heads bended from embarrassment and this triggers Gabriel’s anger, because he starts shaking and growling.

“You supported and covered serious abuse’s incidents! You all knew, but nobody thought of my rules, my orders, what I’ve said! Who are you to lay your hands on any other member of the pack? Who are you to decide what is fair and what is not? Who are you to do things I have never done to any of you? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?” he roars, while his wolf tries to take control over him, because I feel his powerful presence, but Gabriel manages to keep him under control.

“Today I learned everything and I will learn even more. Each and every one of you is going to tell me with details what he has seen related to the abuse Hayley had been enduring, otherwise you are free to leave my pack, but you will never come back again!” he says next and almost everyone nods in hurry with few mimicking the firsts who nodded after some seconds pass.

“Hayley was, is and will be your Alpha’s daughter forever and you will treat her exactly like you treat me! I never, ever laid my hands on her, I never told you to treat her like that, I never used violence on anyone around you, but you did, you went against me and my rules and you found the wrong person, my own, younger daughter!” he continues after the short pause and with the corner of my eye I see Ruth wiping her tears and Kaitlyn smiling emotional and proud.

Well, even I want to cry, um… No, I want to sob from his words. Damn, this man always knew what to say or do. I remember him since we were kids, he has his own way to capture everyone’s attention, heart, admiration and loyalty. It is in his blood to speak like a strong, wise Alpha. He always knows exactly what to say, when and how to say it.

“You will be heavily punished for your disobedience and for breaking the pack’s basic rules, because if you thought we were done, you were wrong! What just happened to the four dogs were only a small example of what I am capable of doing to anyone who decides to raise his hand on someone else as long as I am this pack’s Alpha, your Alpha!” he announces and many gasp, some stiffen worried, few take a step to hide themselves like this can save them, but Gabriel is truly unstoppable.

I knew he had something in his mind and I am looking forward to hear what he is about to say. He is a clever man, he has something good, he is going to kneel them all, give them a great lesson to remember forever.

“So, to get straight to the point, because the more I look at you, the angrier I become… No time for fun and no allowance to leave the pack to go to the city for any kind of entertainment from tomorrow and for as long as I will be the Alpha! And this is only one part of the punishment!” he states and I am surprised nobody and I mean it, nobody moves or reacts even in the slightest and most discreet way.

It’s like they were expecting it, but still, it is a very devilish, clever and hard punishment, not that I feel sorry for them, I love Gabriel’s thought, but I was waiting for a reaction from some.

“Also, I thought it would be useful for you to know how it feels like to bleed like Hayley did, but the way you are going to bleed it is going to be different and I am doing you a favor, because in this way I will make you stronger! For this reason I announce that all of you start a heavy program of training tomorrow. I don’t care if you are fighters, teachers, trackers, guards, teenagers or anything else.” He continues after he gets sure nobody plans to protest.

“To make myself more specific, the teenagers are going to be trained twice a day, the first time is going to be for two hours early in the morning before they go to school and the second will be for one hour after they return from it. I don’t think I have to mention that their grades mustn’t be lower than the grades they have now, they won’t stop studying!” he explains and I distinguish many shocked and scared looks between the youngest pack members, but for once more nobody thinks about reacting.

“All the others are going to be separated in equal numbers of groups according to their last name’s first letter and the Betas are going to announce to you your exact program tomorrow morning. I will supervise you very often and if I get informed you don’t attend training, you will have to fight me in front of the entire pack as a consequence.” He says without waiting for more than a second and the elders nod immediately defeated.

Let’s hope they appreciate how generous he is with them, because believe me, he is! He is doing them a favor, he is actually helping them, because in this way he is going to make them stronger as he mentioned a while ago and he is going to teach them what a united pack is. Their bond is going to get stronger and Gabriel knows it.

The truth is that if he wanted to make them pay the way they deserve, he would do to them the same thing they did to Hayley, but right now I feel very proud of him for the way he is dealing with it. He proves for once more how generous he is, he tries to be kind, although he wants to do otherwise.

“And one last thing! Nia, your soon to be Gamma was aware of the truth, but never told me. This is why she is going to have me as her opponent in every single training. I excuse nobody, not even the next Gamma! This is an example for all of you, no matter who you are, I have no problem to punish you!” he concludes, my eyes land on Nia, who has a weirdly mixed expression that frustrates me and I turn to Kailtyn to find her staring at Nia with pure anger.

Mm… Why don’t I like this girl?

She is very pretty, but the feelings she creates me are not pleasing. She has something cold and dark around her, her eyes are blank with no emotion…

“You don’t want to know who she reminds me of…” Bria murmurs under her breath and I exhale confused heavily.

I try to think what she means, but I can’t. I am upset, many things run through my mind and I will have time to think about it once I talk with Gabriel, Ryker and make sure Hayley wakes up and is out of danger. I also have to inform Claire, Blaze and Evan about the latest, shocking incidents, so there is no time for me to think about Nia. At least not for now…

“Dismissed all of you. Go and lock yourselves in your houses, I want to see nobody for the rest of the day! Am I clear?” Gabriel says in the end in a high, dead tone and the crowd bows to him in union, turns and rushes to leave away and do as he has said.

Fuck!

That was extremely intense, but I have the feeling things won’t get any better, because Gabriel turns to us, his eyes land on me, but he quickly turns to his father, mother and Kaitlyn.

I lower my head ashamed, but try to look at him to see what he is going to do next. Kourtney and Bianca come even closer to me, Kaitlyn tightens her hold around my hand and Jenna with Joel leave back to the pack house to give us time after a short sign from Gabriel, who is now walking to us and stops in front of his father and mother.

He ignores me completely and I know I sound stupid, but it hurts me a lot, because I know I did wrong for doubting Gabriel. I was mad at him till some time ago, but he is mad at me now and I hate it. I can’t feel him distant and I am so confused I think my mind in going to explode too soon.

I didn’t want him, I can’t forget what he did to me, how he betrayed me and what I have been through because I run away after his cruel ‘rejection’, but I don’t like his sudden cold behavior towards me.

I know I sound selfish, it’s like I’m a real b***h!

I was fine when I was keeping him away from me, although I knew he was in great pain, because I truly believed him, although I told him I didn’t, but…

Now he is mad at me, it is clear I’m in the place he was before and I feel helpless.

I am the biggest hypocrite ever, aren’t I?

I can read Gabriel’s eyes, he really regrets what he did, although it’s too late and his regret can’t change the way he treated me. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, he wanted to be next to Ryker and Claire, he has changed and I have to admit he is not as bad as I wanted to believe and now I realized it…

He got extremely furious at me, he pushes me away and I don’t like this!

I have to apologize to him about it, I need to ask from him to talk, I can’t feel us like this, even though I began this unofficial war of ours and I hurt him.

“Father, take mother, Kaitlyn, Kourtney and Biance at the pack house. They need to rest and Bianca is going to give you the names of the boys who bully Hayley at school. I need you to find out if the principal knew it as well.” Gabriel says while he stares at Jack, who nods positively.

“Alright then… Rebecca goes to Ryker anyway, I go to stay with Hayley and we talk if anything else happens. Joel, Declan and Jenna are going to take care of the groups and the programs, so we have absolutely nothing else to say for now…” he concludes and turns to leave without losing time while my heart breaks with the way he called me…

Rebecca, like I had asked from him to call me the day we met again and I told him we were only strangers and nothing else.

He does what I did and I feel the way I made him feel first. I had my rights then, but now he has his!

I observe him walking away, he is heading to the pack hospital’s direction and Kaitlyn gives me a discreet push, I gain back my mind and snap my head to her with a desperate, scared look.

She knows me, I don’t have to tell her how I feel and she doesn’t have to talk to Gabriel to understand he is angry with me for the stupid opinion I had for him.

“Becky, go and talk to him. I know he did wrong, but it isn’t fair to blame him for everything. He asked from Hayley to forgive him few weeks ago, he told her he loves her and they are close like they were always together like father and daughter! He had no idea, honestly…” she tells me through our link and I exhale panicked.

I want to go and ask from him to discuss and explain myself, but I am scared, my body is not obeying me, I’m paralyzed and my heart aches, I can’t breathe or think.

“Don’t do this to both of you. He is in pain and he needs you! You are the only one he needs, you know it better…” she adds when she notices my hesitation and nervousness and I break my barriers, take a deep, short breath and run after him and away from Lyn and the others.

“Gabriel, can we talk, please?” I almost yell while I approach him and for my big surprise he stops, I reach him, stop in front of him and ignore the others who are already heading to the pack house’s direction.

My eyes meet Gabriel’s big expressive, almost black ones and my skin shivers, I lose the ground under me, my breath gets cut again, my wolf groans guilty and his cold, blank expression don’t change.

I wish I was dead right now.

Look how the roles changed! I am behaving like a scared wet cat and it doesn’t affect him…

“Can we talk for before?” I repeat from almost inside me with a begging look and he raises his eyebrows in a way I don’t understand.

It’s like he is impressed, angry and very ironic.

The few seconds it takes him to talk feel like long centuries and I do my best not to collapse on the ground under his serious, firm gaze. I have years to feel like this, I mean so weak and drown in him, the last time was the night we spent together in his grandparents’ house next to the lake.

“I think we have nothing to talk about, Rebecca. It is clear that you will put the blame on me for everything that happens from now on. I was an asshole back then, I admit it and I keep on paying the prize of my mistake all these years, but it doesn’t matter to you… I thought you knew I am not such a monster, but I was wrong… You can accuse me for everything, I won’t protest, I respect it and this is why I think it would be better for you to keep your distance from me. You don’t want a man like me close to you, right?” he says hurt as he fights not to ‘break’ and I open my mouth to speak, tears blur my vision before I realize it and nothing leaves from my lips.

What have I done? What?

I hurt him, I knew about it, but it is way worse than I had thought and he doesn’t seem willing to let me explain. I can’t blame him, I would feel the same way, if I were him!

“Once an asshole, always an asshole, but it’s fine, honestly…” he mutters next and I try to take a step to him, but he avoids me by taking one back.

“And now excuse me, but Ryker needs you and Hayley needs me.” He states and with this he walks away and leaves me alone and…

Broken!

This is what I never wanted to face, it is one of the biggest fears I used to have and it just came true, because…

This is Gabriel’s rough side!

************************

Hello everyone!

This is the 18th chapter and a difficult one for both Becky and most importantly Gabriel!

In the next chapter we are going to see more about him and how he feels, why he was so distant with Becky and more details about them, but also Ryker, Hayley and Claire with Blaze!

I really need to know your opinion about it, did you like it?

How do you feel about what Becky said at the beginning? What do you think about what Gabriel did? What about Gabriel's punishments? How do you feel about how Becky felt for blaming him in her mind for no reason? Also, how do you feel about what Kaitlyn's push to Becky? And last but not least, what about the ending between Becky and Gabriel? What is going to happen next?

I am very curious to know your opinions and thoughts and I need to thank you for everything. I hope you liked this chapter and you love the story. Everything is getting nmore intense chapter by chapter!

Plese if you want to help me, you like the book and you are looking forward for more, commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts.

I will see you again in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very much,

             Marie!