Our Hill of Stars

Chapter 2

Somehow it is still hard to comprehend that this is real. My mom is dead. We pull up to my aunts house. This is now my home. As we unload the car a tear slips down my cheek. I am never going home.

All the things that will never happen run through my mind. My mom will never help me pick out a prom dress or a wedding gown. She will never be a grandmother. I will never get to talk to her about boys again. No more vacations with her. No more wild adventures. She won’t be able to lecture me on not drinking and driving. Change is happening whether I am ready or not.

As we unload the car another tear slides down my face. This is it. What was once a place to visit is now home. My old home is no longer home. I follow Aunt Stella into the house and see a tall blonde girl. Kat is the spitting image of her mother. She got the same athletic build our mothers have. As Aunt Stella stands next to her I notice they are the same height. If you flipped through Aunt Stella’s high school year book you would question whether it was Aunt Stella or Kat.

Kat smiles and comes over and hugs me. It’s been 4 years and much has changed. Last time I saw her, I had a mother. Last time I saw her we were the same height. I stopped growing and she kept on growing. Kat interrupts my thought process by saying “mom didn’t know what you were gonna be able to bring with you, so she is giving us money and we can go shopping tomorrow and get anything you need or want.”

“That’s nice of her. It’s been awhile.”

She laughs and says, “Do you have your license?”

“Pedestrians and vehicles are safer with me not having one.”

“Don’t worry, I have my license and can drive us wherever. Want me to show you your room?”

“Sure.” I say as I follow Kat.

The structure of the home has not changed since I was here last. She brings me to the guest room that I used to share with my mom. A queen size bed takes up a third of the room. Last time I was here the room was painted yellow, but now it is the color of sea foam. I see a few nautical themed items that Aunt Stella must have forgotten to remove. Part of me is glad she left them. I know this is home, but I wish I was just a guest. Kat and I sit on the bed. This must be the same mattress that we used to stay on. If I close my eyes I can pretend I am able to smell my mom. Kat then looks to the ground and says, “I’m sorry about Aunt Sarah. I can’t imagine how you are feeling.”

“I don’t know if it has set in. It doesn’t feel real. This feels like a weird dream. Any moment I could wake up and there she will be. Hounding me about sleeping the day away.”

“So it sounds like your in shock.”

“I think so.”

“Ada, I am here if you need me. I don’t know what I can do, but I can try to distract or listen to you. My room is still next to yours. If you want I can introduce you to my friends.”

“Thank you. I will try not to be too sad.”

“You have every right to be sad. Your world just got turned upside down. It’s okay to cry. If you need someone to cry with you, we can put on the notebook and we will both be sobbing.” Kat says.

I laugh at the thought. Kat has always been compassionate and funny. Back when we were kids she always found a way to make me laugh when I cried. One time when we were maybe 8 years old I slipped on seaweed and skinned my knee. In hopes to make me stop crying she placed the seaweed on her head and pretended to be an old sea hag. Kat is definitely someone I need right now. “It might worry Aunt Stella if we are both crying.”

“Nah she will come over with some Ben and Jerry’s to join our sobfest”

A laugh escapes and I think of the three of us watching movies and crying. Another thought crosses my mind. What if Kay’s friends don’t like me? Will they only include me because I am Kat’s cousin? “Kat, what if your friends don’t like me?”

“Don’t be so insecure Ada. How could they not like the gorgeous Adelaide? You are one of the kindest souls. If they don’t like you, then I don’t want to be friends with them. Macy, Jax, Griffen and Beck are sure to like you.”

“I guess your right.”

“I’m always right.”

Aunt Stella walks into the room with my bags. She smirks and says, “I think you guys forgot something.”

“Sorry Aunt Stella.” I say.

“It’s okay. You have a lot on your mind with the loss of Sarah. There is so much change you are dealing with. I am saddened at the loss of Sarah and she is my twin sister. I never expected to live a life without her.”

“I don’t know how I am going to live without my mom. Thank you for taking me in Aunt Stella.”

“Your mother would do the same with my kids. Unfortunately she would regret taking my kids in. I will never regret taking you in.”

I laugh and know that wouldn’t be true. Aunt Stella and my mother were very close and loved getting us kids together. I remember once hearing that I was supposed to have an older sibling but he or she didn’t make it. My mother suffered many miscarriages but was thankful for the one kid that survived. Aunt Stella and Kat exit the room for o go do other things as I sit on my bed and examine the suitcases. Packing them was a blur and I have no idea what I put inside. I am sure there are many items I left behind.

As I unzip the first one, I smirk at a pair of red high heels. A memory floats into my mind. They day I bought them I begged my mom to let me get them. She shook her head and asked where I’d wear them. Her guess was as good as mine. Mom tried to convince me that I would break my ankle if I ever wore them. Maybe she would be right, but I thought I’d need them. I’d trade these shoes for her to be here. No earthy possession will replace her. The memories that they bring is all I have left of her.

I continue to unpack my things and place them in the dresser and closet in my room. Tears stain some of the photos as I place them on my dresser. Until we meet again mom. This is not good bye, it’s until next time.

As I lay in bed it truly hits me. She is gone. Tears flood my eyes until I lose consciousness. Sleep is the only relief I have for this painful day. As my mind fades into unconsciousness, I see her. She is wearing a long flowing gown. Her Raven hair does not have a single grey hair contaminating it like it once had. A smile fills her face as she looks at me. A harmonious voice comes from her as she says, “don’t be afraid.”

“‘Mom, is that you?”

“It is my dear.”

“Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go?”

“It was my time. I wish I had more time with you. I love you my dear Adelaide. Your Aunt Stella will be good to you. If you look around you will be able to find me in your every day life.”

“I can’t do this mom. I need you.”

“Adelaide, you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Anytime you dream you can visit me. I love you, but I must go for now.”

“Mom, don’t go” I shout as she vanishes.

My eyes open and I realize it was only a dream. She was taken too soon. Life is changed forever. I grab my phone and check the time. The screen doesn’t turn on. I turn on a light and look for my charger. After I plug it in I wait for it to turn on. It’s 3am. The light goes off and I close my eyes. Maybe if I sleep I can see her again. I’d even settle for hearing her voice.