An Alpha for Valentine

THREE

VALENTINE

A week after that, I did nothing but avoid the man. Sure, we were now mates. But nothing had changed. Literally, nothing had changed. I was grateful that he stayed away too. The only time we happened to stand each other’s presence was at the dining table. It was simpler and I wouldn’t have minded if it continued that way till we both took our last breaths. But nothing good lasted forever. That night at the dining table, Devin said something that broke my little wish. I knew beforehand because of the look of worry that was etched on his face when I walked in.

"We have to go back to the pack grounds," he said, his voice low and tense.

"Why? What's happened?" I asked, feeling a sense of apprehension rise in my chest.

"It's my brother, Satake. He's gone missing," Devin explained, his grip on his spoon tightening.

I felt my heart sink at his words. Satake. I knew that one. He was the one who couldn’t shift. Yet, somehow he still managed to rank as a Beta in a pack like the Crow.

"Do you need me to come with you?" I asked, hoping that Devin would say no. I wasn't sure I was ready for the politics and power struggles that came with being a part of the pack. But I knew better. There was no way Devin Crow would let me stay alone in this apartment. I could flip through his mind because it was an open book. The Crow pack still had enemies. Satake’s disappearance would have strengthened that fear too.

"Yes, you have to come," Devin said firmly. "You're my mate, and appearances have to be kept."

I knew what he meant. As his mate, I had a certain role to play within the pack. I had to be seen as loyal and supportive, even if I didn't always feel that way. “Appearances will not be kept Devin Crow. You might be able to pretend that there is some kind of faux spark between us. But I cannot do that.”

“I wouldn’t be mouthing that if I were you.” Devin managed to croak. “I might be Alpha but it would take a lot for the pack to see that the Monarch pack is no longer a threat and there is no need to force it to converge with the Crow pack.”

“I might have cared about the Monarch if I knew nothing about my parents. You think I ever cared about being Luna of the Monarch?!” I slammed my fist on the table, causing the cup of water at my side topple over. “It was hard. I was deemed weak and I suffered to keep that spot. The Monarch did not want a Luna. They wanted an Alpha and the only reason I struggled to keep that demanding post was to preserve my parent’s memories. But none of that matters or makes sense to me anymore. I cannot preserve the memories of murderers. I cannot continue to put myself in this cage. You might find sick pleasure in holding on to me and mentally torturing me with this arrangement. But that is about all you can manage. You can take a horse to the river but you cannot make it drink.”

Devin looked at me with a mix of anger and hurt in his eyes. I could tell that my words had stung him deeply, and I felt a pang of guilt in my chest.

"Is that what you think this is?" he asked, his voice low and tense. "Some kind of sick pleasure for me? Holding you back and keeping you trapped in this cage? You forget I am in this cage too."

I shook my head, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just... this whole situation is so complicated. I don't know how to navigate it… But let us be real. You are not in this cage. Not if you could break yourself out of it anytime you want. I am the only one losing here."

Devin's expression tightened. “I am the one winning? Screw that! You could have run away from all of these. But you chose me in a last-ditch attempt to save your pack. Now, you won’t accept your win because the dominoes you have built around yourself have cascaded. You think the people your parents hurt care that you do not want to associate with them anymore. Children were killed on that horrible night! Parents were killed that night! Families were broken that night because of your parents' selfishness! You carry that sin on your head Valentine Crow. It is about time someone told you that. So I could not care less if you think you cannot continue this act. You are my Luna. You now have a golden opportunity to make amends for the sins your parents have passed on to you. I suggest you take it.”

I wished I had an equally snarky retort. But there was nothing and that was partly because I knew he was right. I had not been able to explain why I had to carry so much pain in my life. It was just hard to put into words. But now, hearing Devin's words, it all made sense. I had been so focused on my own pain and suffering that I had forgotten about the pain and suffering of others. Mainly because I did not want to acknowledge it. I had been a child. I had been clueless. Even my pack had hidden it from me when I finally took on the mantle my parents left me along with their sins. Even without the mantle, I was not free. I could not be free. My parents had caused so much pain and destruction, and I would be carrying that burden just like I had done before without even realizing it.

Devin's words stung, but they were also a wake-up call. I needed to stop running away from my past and face it head-on. I needed to take responsibility for the sins of my parents and do everything in my power to make amends. There was no running now.

"You're right," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "I am carrying the sins of my parents, and it is time I take responsibility for them. I will go to the gathering with you, and I will do my best to be the best Luna I can be for your pack.”

“That is not what I meant,” Devin looked surprised by my sudden change in demeanor, but before he could respond, I cut him off.

"It's getting late," I said, standing up from the table. "I should go to bed."

Devin's expression softened. "You should at least eat your food."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not that hungry. Thank you for the meal."

I headed towards the stairs, feeling a mix of emotions. I was grateful for the wake-up call, but I was also overwhelmed by the weight of my past and the responsibility I now felt to make things right.

As I climbed into bed, I couldn't help but think about what the future held. Would the pack accept me as their Luna, even though I was the daughter of a former enemy? Would I be able to make up for the mistakes of my parents and earn their trust and respect?

With those thoughts swirling in my head, I drifted off to sleep, uncertain of what tomorrow would be like.