Courting
2040 Words
“Don't even spare a thought about them!” Reine asserts.
“That's what I've been saying to him lately,” Eli adds. I narrow my eyes at her but she just mocks me with a ridiculous face.
We went on talking and I feel a little at ease in joining them occasionally. I'm still not used to talking with this many people unlike Eli—that seems to be enjoying secretly flirting. She's disgusting me for doing such an underhanded trick of pretending to be a girl just to get close to them. She even touched their boobs in a playful way that they don't suspect a thing!! Then makes me the center of teasing! Even Irene is laughing at me... but I don't mind... She can laugh.
“Just tell us that the two of you are going out,” says Reine out of nowhere. “We won't judge.”
“No, we would never!” Eli and I both deny it.
If you guys only knew...
“I have yet to find the one for me,” she says. “Kevin is more of a big brother to me.”
It's actually the other way around. She's the boss and I'm her underling as far as I have noticed. She can easily make me do things even if I don't like it.
“But you two would good together,” says Irene. This is what I fear! She's shipping me with another girl!
I have to act before this could go any further. Even Eli is handling this poorly. “We're friends and will always just be,” I say.
Then they look at me with utter disappointment but Eli just raises eyebrows but then stirs to speak, “Speaking of which, you girls have boyfriends, right?”
“No,” says Mary, shaking her head.
“Nuh-uh,”
“That's the first time I heard that word,” Irene jests.
Eli bursts out laughing as Mary and Reine do. They begin to relate to each other more. Later, we finish talking and leave the place so we could return for attendance. I don't wanna miss another one or it will further inconvenience me. Let's not add up to that and just be a good student. Again, I walk behind them because I feel I just have to or they'll feel weird. Then Eli buds off from them and slows down to walk beside me.
“What is it?” I ask, tired after all of that talking.
“Now we know she doesn't have a boyfriend,” she whispers. Oh, that's why she touched on that topic earlier! What a sly lesbian this is! “When do you plan to ask her out?”
Hmm... actually, I never thought about that. “Maybe... next month?” I whisper back.
“That's way too long! What are you, stupid?”
“Then what do you suggest?”
“Ask her today.”
“What?! No way! I have to wait for the right time and prepare.”
“You have to do it, b*tch.”
“Hey, language... and maybe I'll do it tomorrow.”
“Just do it today, you coward!”
“Okay, okay! Stop pressuring me. But how?”
“Well, as I have discovered in your culture of courting, it starts with getting to know each other. Just tell her you like her and you want to know more about her. Don't forget to ask her if she's fine with you, accompanying her. And the most important thing you must do is to be honest even when you're shy. Well then, that's all you need to know. If you guys discover that both of you get along well, you can ask her to officially be your girlfriend.”
I swallow, thinking about how this might turn out. She could reject me and just be friends because she wants to study first. Irene is that type of girl so I'm doubting!
“What if she rejects me?”
“Well, that's it. You can't force her to like you. Move on and find another.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It's easy once you get used to it. You've been rejected a lot of times, right?”
“Yeah, but you don't have to remind me about that.” We're starting to cross the street.
“Then what are you afraid of?”
That question hit me like a boulder pushing me down deeper into my thoughts. What am I afraid of? I know the pain of rejection more than anyone. I've been rejected a lot of times. They say that when you get used to a pain, it becomes numb or you could get a trauma. Clearly, I put myself to be afraid of being rejected again, instead of getting used to it. I've faced rejections a lot of times, right? So why would I worry about it since it's just normal for a loser like me? It's not new to me. But then I remember when everyone was teasing me because I was always rejected by the girls I liked. It made me afraid to be rejected again.
“I'll create a chance for you, okay?” says Eli, and I'm stirred.
After a nod, “Okay,” I answer and swallow.
We're entering the campus now and Eli goes ahead to do what she has to do. She taps on her shoulder from behind and says something I couldn't hear. My ears are ringing because of my anxiousness. Then Irene goes looking at me over her shoulder and I feel I could faint. My heart is beating so fast. It's like I'm drowning. Drowning in what? I'm drowning in my past.
“In what subject you're asking?” Irene asks, walking beside me. I can't speak.
I didn't notice that she is already here. Eli is busy entertaining Mary and Reine. They might not hear what I'm about to ask Irene. So, whatever this will turn out, it'll be between both of us. This is perfect.
After clearing my throat, I correct her, “The subject is personal.”
“What?” she asks, confused.
“I like you, Irene.” THERE I SAID IT!!! She's looking at me with widened eyes so I couldn't help but look elsewhere. I have to ask her now before my nervousness takes over to mute me! “I... want t... to know more about you. If... if it's okay for you...” Sh*t! I stammered!!
“Oh,” she says, looking at the ground while we walk. “so that's what it is...” This sounds like the introduction on how to politely reject someone. Argh!! “Okay,” she says...
“What?” I ask, looking at her. She's smiling a little bit but shows she's flustered too when she's afraid to look at me directly.
“It's okay for me.”
Oh...
Oh?
She said it's okay for her?
Did I hear it right?
She said it's okay for her.
I heard it right.
What the fu-
“Really?!” I ask to confirm. Sh*t, I couldn't stop my cheeks from making me smile! She'll think I'm weird!
“Yes,” she answers and I heard that as clear as glass!!!
Is this real? It is! I can't believe it! I think I'm gonna end my 21 years streak!
Oh, I almost forgot to ask. “Is it cool if I come along with you, every now and then?”
“It's cool,” she smiles, looking at the ground.
I'm so happy right now that I might tear up. No one has accepted me before! She's kind as I have known her. She's willing to give a loser like me a chance. All of that anxiousness I felt earlier is worth it! I will not waste this chance!
“Thank you,” I say to her to let her know how I appreciate her.
She just nods and smiles while we walk side by side, on our way to the venue of the chess tournament. Jude is playing chess. It's hard for me to think of something to talk about with her because I'm still nervous. Adrenaline is still flowing in my veins. This is awkward! We're walking side by side but not talking! What do I do? Eli, help!
She's looking at us then smugs before facing forward. Way to worsen the situation! Irene is getting awkward too! But then, I can't depend on her forever. I must be a man and see this through on my own.
“Sorry if I'm awkward, Irene,” I apologize.
“It's okay because... I'm awkward too.”
“Really?”
“Can't you see me right now?” she laughs, looking away.
“Oh, I'm sorry,” I smile.
It makes me feel at ease, knowing that I'm not the only one who's nervous right now. I couldn't even believe that she's nervous too. I thought she'd be more confident because I heard she had relationships before. I think I'm fine right now. I must at least try to start a conversation. It can be anything as long as it makes us interact with each other. Oh, I got one!
I ask, “You know Jude is playing chess, right?”
“Yeah,” she answers.
“He's very good in it. He has the chance to win.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He even goes out to the park to challenge old men.”
She giggles. “He does that?”
“Yeah and just so you know, old men are very good at this game but he beats them.”
“Wow,” she reacts.
“He plays the game with bets, of course. What he wins, he buys food. That's why he's so chubby.”
“I didn't know that,” she chuckles. “You and your friends are amazing, don't you know that?”
“What? I agree with you but you have to uh... take me off of the list of ‘amazing’.”
“That's not true. You're good at drawing, right?”
How did she know that? I'm curious so I ask, “How did you know?”
“Oh... uh...,” she fills, looking away. “I saw your past posts.”
I haven't updated on my Acebook and I haven't posted my drawings for quite a while because I get only two or three likes. I just draw them on my sketchbook. Also, I now only draw once a month.
“You did?” I ask.
“Uh, never mind,” she shakes off.
“Okay.”
I noticed that my nervousness is completely gone now. Wow, it feels so relieving! I'm glad I got through it. We finally arrive at the venue of the tournament and it's in the lobby of the Student's Council building. There are four long tables stretching from the door to the wall beyond. Chess boards clack and tack when the players move the pieces. Clocks click and tick when they get pressed. A dozen or more matches are happening right now.
Although there are so many spectators, it is deafeningly quiet here as it should be. Chess is the game of the mind and great concentration. It is a silent game but very intense once you know how it works. Surprising moves can get out of nowhere. I know how to play it but not that good enough. I just know how to move the pieces and it makes my head dizzy trying to make a plans. I don't understand how Jude can be so good at this game as well as not getting tired of it.
We found him at the second long table from the left. He's facing a freshman with glasses. I saw him this serious before. Maybe his opponent is good. Upon spectating behind him, I can see that they're tied with their pieces. A rook and a single horse for each of them. I don't know how they will end this but I'm pretty sure it will depend on who gets a pawn promoted to queen first.
- Writer
